This Is Probably Not Good

Tyler Durden's picture

BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS `SERIOUS' PROBLEMS IN EUROPEAN UNIT

For those who may have forgotten, back in the summer of 2007 Bear Stearns had some problems with some of its own units as well...

And some of the other soundbites:

  • BARCLAYS CEO SAYS BARCAP IS REDUCING CREDIT MARKET EXPOSURE
  • BARCLAYS CEO SAYS BANK DOESN'T USE RETAIL DEPOSITS FOR INV BANK
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS 2013 INT RATES TO RISE 100 BASIS POINTS
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS COMPETITION HAS INTENSIFIED IN THE UK
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS BANK CLOSED FINANCIAL PLANNING UNIT
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS ECONOMIC RECOVERY TO BE 'SLOW'
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS RESTRUCTURING TO REDUCE HEADCOUNT
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS RESTRUCTURING IN SPAIN IS 'COMPLEX'
  • BARCLAYS'S JENKINS SAYS : PLAN IS ABOUT EXECUTION, 'ORGANIC GROWTH'

 

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He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Its all live and happening folks, and, heh, transitory by nature.

ZeroPower's picture

BARC.LN off about a 1%, no biggie.

mirac's picture

This is probably not good...Seriously

Cpl Hicks's picture

Anthony Weiner is having trouble with one of his units too.

bonddude's picture

Green chutes and ladders.

TerraHertz's picture

Nothing some Viagra won't fix.

Cindy_Dies_In_The_End's picture

Dear Fed:

 

Please make the US taxpayers suck my dick. Party on. Pass the hookers and cocaine, the annual bonuses to keep Barclay's "talent" is incoming.

 

Suck it, peasants!

Rylie's picture

But his Twitter account seems to be performing.

UGrev's picture

what was it performing? 

Bindar Dundat's picture

That soft patch carries a big fucking stick!

Franken_Stein's picture

 

In other news, albeit off-topic.

 

U.S. diver wants to find bin Laden's underwater corpse. No shit !

If successful, he wants to take a sample and have the DNA analyzed.

 

 

In yet other news:

 

U.S. diver missing off the coast of Pakistan.

Ok, just kidding.

 

HelluvaEngineer's picture

This is probably one of those things where you want to do it, then talk about it.  Not the other way around.

PaperBear's picture

Or so he can kill bin Laden for a third time.

Numerous top sources have said Osama bin Laden was already dead.

Reported in Pakistan Observer that he died Dec 15th 2001.

Franken_Stein's picture

 

That sonuvabitch is a tough one.

You only live thrice.

 

BobPaulson's picture

Rasputin.

It's not even like looking for a needle in a haystack, it's more like looking for the end of a rainbow. Maybe he can create a startup called RaiseOBL and do an IPO to build a big salvage fleet, sell it to the US Navy and make a bundle.

john39's picture

he is making a pretty big assumption that any body was ever thrown into the ocean.  my take, all total BS.

Manthong's picture

I hope the USN was considerate enough to at least sprinkle some fish food overboard during the show.

It's not nice to fool mother nature.

francis_sawyer's picture

If he ends up finding him, maybe they'll end up putting him alongside Juan Francisco Franco in the  Valle de los Caídos...

Daily confirmations to follow (& 'hourly' updates in the final run up to the Obama 2012 re-election campaign)...

 

Azannoth's picture

He's a cheater he wants 72x3 virgings!

francis_sawyer's picture

All I can say is that he'd better hope the NAVY doesn't have a 'shark' team to go along with the SEAL unit...

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Zombie bin Laden.

Why do you think the SEALs put a round through his head without hesitation?

TerraHertz's picture

He needs to ask these guys for the coordinates.

They know. Starts with "469" if that's any help.

http://youtu.be/F0gswhoOCQI

Mr Rogers's picture

Almost as good as "Houston, we have a problem"

Cdad's picture

Wait...do you mean NOT GOOD or LESS THAN previously expected OK?

 

HelluvaEngineer's picture

Serious problems beat expectations.

SheepDog-One's picture

Blowhorn says its no problem Cdad, we got 'smoothing mechanisms' appearing, likely giant steam rollers, and Chinese tourists coming to save the economy, nevermind the Chinese military uniforms on the tourists.

Cdad's picture

Whew!  Tyler scared me, Dog.  I thought for a moment that criminal syndicate Wall Street banker expectations were not in line with the impending game of dominoes.  

We all know that LESS THAN PREVIOUSLY EXPECTED CRACK PIPED DREAMS is just fine, in relation to smoothing mechanisms.  I just wasn't expecting NOT GOOD.

As for Chinese tourists, uniforms or no, I can't wait to get my job at the sticky rice ball factory.  Looking forward to it.

 

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Cue the food riots in 5.....4.....3.....2.....

Cdad's picture

Food?  Who needs food?

On a related note, so much for yesterday's BlowHorn lunacy dejour...the thesis of getting long Miracle Grow with the specific catalyst of all those pot growers out in CA.  Check the price action on SMG.

You cannot make this stuff up faster than bankers...errr...anchors at the BlowHorn.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The human need for food is transitory.

And it appears Miracle Grow was having problems before today. Down 15% plus since May 31st? Better stop here at $49-$50 or the next leg down is $45, then $38.

francis_sawyer's picture

The "Wiener" scandal is having various cross-marketing effects on some consumer items...

Cdad's picture

The weekly chart on that one does look pretty Wiley Coyoteish.  Meep meep.

So...either pot growers in CA are about to experience upside earnings surprises OR pot prices are heading lower due to oversupply.  Hmmmm?   

It is a damn good thing we have the BlowHorn to alert us to such pressing things...while the entire continent of Europe is imploding.

MrButtoMcFarty's picture

MG sucks.

Now that Peter's Hydroponic Mix....very good stuff....and dirt cheap....

And ironically....it has the perfect NPK ratio for our favorite plant.

What a coincidence.

SheepDog-One's picture

Theres an app for that, just send a picture of a gyro to your I-Phone.

SheepDog-One's picture

Theres an app for that, just send a picture of a gyro to your I-Phone.

BobPaulson's picture

Food riots come AFTER the lineups at banks and looting of bank machines.

Bay of Pigs's picture

@BobPaulson

Are you still long Corruption?

What's the ticker for that?

LoneStarHog's picture

How does one say "transitory" in various European languages?