• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
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  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Reuters Special Report: Should BP Nuke Its Leaking Well?

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Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:22 | 449217 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

He'd be happy to help make it a lot lot worse for us.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:32 | 449240 Whizbang
Whizbang's picture

Yeah, a tsunami along the entire coast would go really well...

"In soviet russia...."

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:37 | 449249 Ragnarok
Ragnarok's picture

In Soviet Russia well bomb you.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:28 | 449935 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

You need to explode a whole lot more than 30 kilotons to cause a tsunami, especially at this depth. Risk of fracturing seabed is the real reason why this option is not on the table.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:28 | 449370 Chicago_CTA
Chicago_CTA's picture



We should have a CONVENTIONAL DYNAMITE plan in place if BP's relief wells are not successful in early August.


It's an obvious solution.


BP = Brown Poison

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:57 | 449432 butchee
butchee's picture


BP = Big Problem

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 14:47 | 449701 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

BP = Black Plague

Mad Max Keiser...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:38 | 449399 thesapein
thesapein's picture

Waiting for the problem to go away...

Let's kick the oil can down the road some more, see how big it can get first.


Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:08 | 449748 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

If they nuke it, then basically they writing off the value of this asset, no?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:54 | 449982 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

The moment platform exploded and drowned and oil started gushing out @ whatever thousands barrel per hour, this asset turned into liability for BP. So, to be precise, they would be writing off a liability, one of the worst places to be these days after the Gulf itself is BP's balance sheet.

Sat, 07/03/2010 - 09:11 | 450631 downwiththebanks
downwiththebanks's picture


Sat, 07/03/2010 - 09:10 | 450632 downwiththebanks
downwiththebanks's picture

"This asset" = The Gulf of Mexico

Capitalism commodifies everything; then it destroys it.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:22 | 449220 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

Either way we get a dead zone in the gulf. It is just a matter of choice of 'slow death' versus 'quick painless death'

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:46 | 449276 tmosley
tmosley's picture

A lot of people seem to have trouble keeping things in perspective.  The oil will make most or all of the gulf a dead zone eventually.  A nuclear explosion will kill a bunch of dead fish within it's three hundred meter blast radius, and the fallout will be diluted to background levels within a week.  

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:30 | 449376 CPL
CPL's picture

Cute.  From the era of duck and cover.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:04 | 449879 downrodeo
downrodeo's picture

HAHA!! too funny;

Here, hold this stick of dynamite. You'd better squint your eyes though, it will get a little bright...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:14 | 449335 CPL
CPL's picture

Sure...why not.  It's either contain it or let it bleed out.  At this point it doesn't really matter what they do.  Fuck'ed is fucked.  What isn't being mentioned is the Russians did it 5 times ON LAND.  Easier to dig a hole, no hurricanes, people see what they are drilling, etc.


I'm trying to figure out how they are going to get the nuke down that deep without it collapsing like a tin can with the water pressure on it.  The ROV's they are using are built pretty well, but at that pressure they are like tinker toys.  Best of luck to them.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:38 | 449400 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Nukes don't need air, unlike submarines.  You can't crush one any more than you could crush a ball of lead.  You also don't necessarily have to bury it t do the job.  The water will contain the blast almost as well as the ground beneath (being an incompressible liquid).

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:22 | 450040 CPL
CPL's picture



Sort of, to kill the well they have to dig to non-porous depths and (as George Clinton would say) Drop Da Bomb! 

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:42 | 449828 knukles
knukles's picture

'Bout that time ta make a decision. 

Ever so seriously, as we've transited into a new era of global governance, peace, human dignity, ecological and astrological harmony, love and prosperity, we should ask others for their input as to the Next Right Thing to Do. 

Why not ask the Taliban and Ajdimaninutjob for their opinions, stretching for the return of our generous outreach for their Hearts and Minds? Or bring it to the UN and allow that organization to display it's boundless foresight, knowledge, care and Altruism?  After all, it is One World Now. (Separate from as in airline miles.) Branch out to our Fellow Travellers.  Place our hearts, minds and future in the hands of the Benevolent Others, the Omnipotent "Them". 

But alas, Fucked is as Fucked does.  
As Joe said to the fellow's "Lower taxes" response when asked what he wanted for a piece of pie; "Don't be a smart ass."  


Sat, 07/03/2010 - 09:15 | 450636 downwiththebanks
downwiththebanks's picture

You could also ask Avgidor Lieberman or Benjamin Netanyahoooo for advice.

But I don't know how ethnic cleansing would help BP here.

(Now maybe off the shores of occupied Palestine . . . )

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:25 | 449225 4shzl
4shzl's picture

BP = BK.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:27 | 449227 Mako
Mako's picture

If the relief well does not work by September BP = BK.   A nuke might or might not work, if it will not work... this thing could bleed for 30-50 years.

The UK will have to temporarily backstop loses until the day the rest of the system collapses and they will just wipe their hands clean of the mess at that point.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:58 | 449437 butchee
butchee's picture

Awesome....william banzai could redo the logo!!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:27 | 449228 megatoxic
megatoxic's picture

This kind of stuff makes my bear-sense tingle.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 14:28 | 449644 Edmon Plume
Edmon Plume's picture

Chris Matthews, is that you?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 14:58 | 449723 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Douch Bag Matthews is hiding under his desk urinating all over himself afraid militia members and tea baggers are coming to get him...

Matthews: "Oh no people with guns!" <pee>

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:29 | 449231 Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

"Only about 10 kilotons of nuclear explosion capacity and the problem is solved."


Russian efficiency - love it!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:43 | 449262 DosZap
DosZap's picture

I have advocated the same thing, this is not NEW science........

The Rooskies have done this before, and with sucess.

You nuke it, your melt the surrounding sand/gravel formations, collapse it in on itself..Should equal plug..........

What's the risk ratio, compared to a friggin geyser, killing the entire Gulf and beyond for decades?.

Underwater nukes have been set off probably a 100 times over the past 50yrs.


Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:20 | 449346 CPL
CPL's picture

Yeah, it's been done.  Bikini Atoll is currently unhabitable and Hiroshima still has the highest cancer rates in Japan, but it should be all right.


And it's not under water: it's underwater, then drill another hole, shovel the nuke into the hole, then blow up the hole hoping that the area the core hits isn't molten lava because the area called Mexico sits on the fault lines.


If it all goes well, we should be drilling again in no time.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 13:41 | 449523 Treeplanter
Treeplanter's picture

Screw Mexico.  Go for it.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:53 | 449979 CPL
CPL's picture

Yeah but we hit Jamacia, Haiti, Cuba...there are a couple more places in the area than Florida contrary to what the news would make people believe.  Where will we ever go for our two week long all inclusive vacations???


They eat out of that water, so do we.  Then again, the optics of today is food comes from grocery stores and 7-11.  Nuke it.  Won't bug me any.  I'm in Northern Ontario on a farm, if it gets me to the point where the zones change enough i can grow oranges, who needs Florida then?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:31 | 449236 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

"Give us da money Labofski"

"We take its all"

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:32 | 449237 Eternal Student
Eternal Student's picture

My vote is that we just nuke BP. These clowns belong in jail.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:12 | 449744 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

If you mean yachting off of Martha's Vineyard, slurping Dom Perignon and caviar from Anna Chapman's snatch...

...with Jamie, Lloyd and Obummer celebrating $$$Billions in naked shorts and CDS profits from the gulf disaster...

Then yes they are in prison...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:33 | 449243 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

I got a crazy teacher he wears dark glasses.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:40 | 449255 wafflehead
wafflehead's picture

they should just call the russians and let them come and nuke it. That way if anything goes wrong Obama can blame the russian to distract attention from his incompetence.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 13:05 | 449447 Scooby Dooby Doo
Scooby Dooby Doo's picture

I was going to say something similar. I was talking with my moms sisters father and I said "why don't the Russians just nuke the well without permissions?"

My moms sisters father said "Why you dumb canine, that would be an act of wa-wa-war".

Then my aunts cousin Thelma said "No it wouldn't".

And I said "Scooby Dooby Doo"!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:15 | 449760 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Here is a scooby snack... If you leave one more of those mondo piles in the drive way or piss on my rims one more time...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:49 | 450073 Scooby Dooby Doo
Scooby Dooby Doo's picture

If you get a chance give me a call:
800-654-3550 code:ACLANT

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 20:21 | 450247 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

If I call... will I step in a mondo pile of scooby dog doo?

Llike the time I caught you peeing right on my newspaper...

And I chased you out of the front yard with a broom and right before I could swat you in the nut sack...

I slid on a scooby dog doo mondo pile in the drive way...

And Marla went: "Slide..."

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 22:47 | 450397 Scooby Dooby Doo
Scooby Dooby Doo's picture

Maybe the problem is...

1) You forgot to add an S to the code that I gave you? (A common mistake).

2) You do not have our modulator to enter the code? It has to be our modulator.

3) I was very wrong about your ability to communicate with us.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:42 | 449256 Rogerwilco
Rogerwilco's picture

Shouldn't we let them finish the relief well first? If the relief well doesn't stop the flow, then the other options are active. I wish people would stop the drama-queen nonsense about the dangers of using a nuke. We're talking about a tiny (kilotons - it has to fit in an 8" diameter pipe) weapon placed a mile below the seabed. There would be no tsunami or radioactive shrimp.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:46 | 449265 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Stuffing a tactical nuke down the pipe with a 70000 psi backflow might be a little challenging...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:47 | 449280 Rogerwilco
Rogerwilco's picture

The nuke goes in the relief well (or similar), not the one that's flowing.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:56 | 449304 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

While I agree with what you've said I would be concerned about the potential "Gas land" problem in which you end up with thousands of small leaks through fissures in the fractured rock.

It would be like the Russians not to mention that little problem.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:24 | 449361 thesapein
thesapein's picture

But that is why the nuke option looks to be the best. Set the explosion(s) around areas of the sea floor that you want to be solidified, kind of like turning leaking sand into solid glass, yo.

That little problem is exactly the whole reason behind the plan.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 12:29 | 449375 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

How many of these nuclear explosions are you proposing?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:29 | 450048 thesapein
thesapein's picture

Oh, that's just me thinking that smaller ones spread out is better than one big one for getting the same sized area. But how many depends on how thorough you want to be. Leaving some amount of "natural" seepage might be okay.

I really hate the idea of doing this, but I hate it less than what we're allowing to continue.

I'm going to go now. 

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