Rice Takes Out December 2009 Highs, Next Stop: $20, As China Distributes Fake Plastic Rice

Tyler Durden's picture

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 02/03/2011 - 12:54 | 931191 truont
truont's picture

Holy $h!t, TD--I thought you were only kidding about the fake rice.


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 12:56 | 931202 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

can you eat paper rice?

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 12:58 | 931211 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

you can smoke rice paper...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:10 | 931272 IBelieveInMagic
IBelieveInMagic's picture

Holy moly gold's up and away!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 18:13 | 932666 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture


You can eat paper rice which several asian countries use it in candy as a wrapper but probably good to stay away from PLASTIC rice.  Bravo TD!  I actually started LOL when first reading the title. 

Jeezus, knock-off rice?  Really?  haha lmfao.  Those smart chineses.  Always an opportunity with them chineses.



Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:20 | 931330 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

paper rice...not very tasty.
Try paper parmesan cheese!


Parmesan Cheese (Aged 6 Months) , (Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk , Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk , Salt , Salt , Less Than 2% of: , (Enzymes , Cheese Culture , Cellulose Powder (To Prevent Caking) , Potassium Sorbate (To Protect Flavor)) , Less Than 2% of:) , (Enzymes , Cheese Culture , Cellulose Powder (To Prevent Caking) , Potassium Sorbate (To Protect Flavor))

Note how it's marketed as 100% with no fillers. And how CELLULOSE POWDER is conveniently added TO PREVENT CAKING.
Now you know that YOU CAN EAT PAPER MONEY!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 14:21 | 931647 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Just further confirmation for me to never eat anything that comes from China. Plastic fucking rice. Brilliant.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 12:57 | 931208 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

yea, me, too...


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:18 | 931331 Saxxon
Saxxon's picture

I've been to Taiyuan; Shanxi Province, illegal coal mines, bone-dry and cold in the winter. 

Keep moving but Pingyao is interesting - one of the few walled cities remaining.

I thought it was a joke too.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:33 | 931414 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"This “rice” is a mix of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and plastic. It is formed by mixing the potatoes and sweet potatoes into the shape of rice grains, then adding industrial synthetic resins. Since the rice does not behave like normal rice, it stays hard even after it has been cooked. Such synthetic resins can also be very harmful if consumed."

It would be sweet poetic justice if this stuff came with a "Made in USA" sticker on the bag.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 14:07 | 931582 instinctiveDrift
instinctiveDrift's picture

It's only a matter of time before some tries to make Chinese White Wine from this stuff...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:02 | 931201 HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

Nice bounce on the DJIA this morning! I'm ready to bet it will close green, like every other day. AAPL will reach 1,000 dollars an action in less than 9 months, according to my personal research and technical analysis.

Shorter permadoomers once again lost money. If you want an investing advice: buy AAPL and NFLX, sell your gold.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:10 | 931278 iota
iota's picture

Oh wait it's Hamy, not Harry. I unjunk thee!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:06 | 931213 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

With Sara Lee® Delightful™ White Bread, you can enjoy a great tasting meal without feeling like you're missing out. Delightful™ bread gives you the taste and texture you love, but with only 45 calories per full-size slice. So go on, make yourself a delicious sandwich - you won't even notice the calories that are missing.




Why use expensive wheat, when you can use sawdust?  That is right, cellulose, AKA sawdust, bitchezzz!!!!  But it still costs the same.  I see no inflation.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:09 | 931274 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

you've got to be kidding...saw dust?!?

guess PT Barnum was right:  "A sucker born every minute" 

My dear Nubians, care for a slice of US of A white bread?


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:39 | 931359 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

One manufacturer even added sawdust to replace the lost bran, calling it cellulose on the label and advertising it as "high-fiber" bread.







Thu, 02/03/2011 - 14:07 | 931588 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Nooo!  You drink the bleach.


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:19 | 931329 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Extra-processed meat in sausages can also contain, beyond disgusting low quality meat, a lot of cellulose for consistency and shape (up to 40%, IIRC).

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 21:15 | 933255 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

Mechanically separated meat (MSM), a product also known as mechanically recovered/reclaimed meat (MRM), mechanically deboned meat (MDM), is a paste-like meat product produced by forcing beef, pork, turkey or chicken bones, with attached edible meat, under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue. For the production of chicken and turkey MSM, most of the time, breast carcasses are used as they still contain parts of breast meat.

Mechanically separated meat has been used in certain meat and meat products since the late 1960s. This product can be contrasted with meat extracted by advanced meat recovery systems. The most common use of MSM is into hot dogs.

During the 50s, mechanically separated meat was mostly used as a raw material for the product of hot dogs; nowadays, also luncheon meats, burgers and mortadella are being made from MSM, after a process pioneered by Todd Mudry.


what was once considered "dog food" - now approved for human consumption. . . that Monsanto/FDA revolving door pays off!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:00 | 931216 Bob
Bob's picture

Where's the pumper to explain to us all that it's really about supply and demand??

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 16:43 | 932307 The Rogue Economist
The Rogue Economist's picture

It's all about supply and demand! ^_^

Actually, it is. An oversupply of dollars is causing upward pressure on food prices, resulting in a substitution effect.

In other words, a little plastic is better than starving.

God help us all.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:00 | 931219 Ivanovich
Ivanovich's picture

This shit is fucking hilarious.  The end cannot be far away.  News gets exponentially more surreal every day.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:11 | 931283 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

In many lands where the price of food increases just 5% per year, people resort to eating mud. With 25% monthly increases in food prices, we'll see war.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:01 | 931220 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

It's fly lice!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:12 | 931288 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

NOW that is funny! ;)

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 18:15 | 932699 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture


chicken fly lice!



Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:02 | 931222 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Just add a melamine cream sauce to your plastic rice...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931228 Bob
Bob's picture

Rice that really sticks to your ribs . . .

I see some executions coming.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:02 | 931229 Ivanovich
Ivanovich's picture

What the hell just sent gold into orbit?

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:22 | 931360 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931236 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Next time i go to supermarket I have to check if they already have changed the picture of Uncle Ben on the side of the rice box. I fear that the gentle looking old man has been replaced by a picture of Gen Ben.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931237 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

PMs pop

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:05 | 931241 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

I'm long grain rice....basmati

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:05 | 931255 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Much healthier than short grain rice.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 17:03 | 932385 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture


Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931242 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

As Uncle Benny prints, the fiat flys to the nearest bubble, in this case it's rice.  was cotton a couple days ago...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:08 | 931265 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Monster... Uncle Ben does put out some pretty good rice!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:14 | 931307 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

True, LOL.  but the other Ben (the beryank) continues to print a product of diminishing value.  lets say its less filling

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931244 HUGE_Gamma
HUGE_Gamma's picture

bloomberg interview yesterday with former editor of `Rice Trader` said that Chicago Rice is not good benchmark.. Philippines and Vietnam has the big swinging rice bags.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931245 umop episdn
umop episdn's picture

It's just *amazing* what they can do with plastics nowadays. Too bad the plastic rice is about as edible as a Criminal Reserve Note.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:04 | 931247 kentfinance
kentfinance's picture

gold trades 13510

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:07 | 931261 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

reason for the pop?

I haven't heard any news...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:16 | 931319 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

LMFAO!  love the five-digits!

that would be a considerable pop!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:53 | 931520 kentfinance
kentfinance's picture

priced in ticks (obviously)

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:06 | 931254 chet
chet's picture

I am really starting to wonder if international chaos might not end Ben's shit show a lot earlier than planned.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:06 | 931258 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Margarine, bitchez!

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:07 | 931260 HarryWanger
HarryWanger's picture

So as I questioned the food price posts a couple of days ago, why would you think "Bangladesh will be in flames" when there were several months in 2007-08 with much higher prices. Why didn't they protest then? Also, why did they price come back down off those highs as it will this time too?

I remember the "food prices surge" in 2008 and everyone saying it was demand driven that you should all pile into Potash, Mosaic or anything to do with food only to see their faces get ripped off on the subsequent crash. We have plenty of upside possible until the inevitable crash in commodities once again smacks speculators in the face.

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:15 | 931314 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

This is the result of a "strong recovery," Harry. Ben's plan was for every man woman and child to own a castle. It's clearly working. Everyone will be a trillionaire by next month...

Thu, 02/03/2011 - 13:17 | 931326 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

And our response to you was how much money was the Fed printing on a weekly basis back in the summer of 2008.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!