Rice Takes Out December 2009 Highs, Next Stop: $20, As China Distributes Fake Plastic Rice

Tyler Durden's picture

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truont's picture

Holy $h!t, TD--I thought you were only kidding about the fake rice.

 

66Sexy's picture

can you eat paper rice?

schoolsout's picture

you can smoke rice paper...

IBelieveInMagic's picture

Holy moly gold's up and away!

Haywood Jablowme's picture

 

You can eat paper rice which several asian countries use it in candy as a wrapper but probably good to stay away from PLASTIC rice.  Bravo TD!  I actually started LOL when first reading the title. 

Jeezus, knock-off rice?  Really?  haha lmfao.  Those smart chineses.  Always an opportunity with them chineses.

 

 

Ahmeexnal's picture

paper rice...not very tasty.
Try paper parmesan cheese!

http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/kraft-100-grated-parmesan-cheese/ID=pro...

Parmesan Cheese (Aged 6 Months) , (Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk , Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk , Salt , Salt , Less Than 2% of: , (Enzymes , Cheese Culture , Cellulose Powder (To Prevent Caking) , Potassium Sorbate (To Protect Flavor)) , Less Than 2% of:) , (Enzymes , Cheese Culture , Cellulose Powder (To Prevent Caking) , Potassium Sorbate (To Protect Flavor))

Note how it's marketed as 100% with no fillers. And how CELLULOSE POWDER is conveniently added TO PREVENT CAKING.
Now you know that YOU CAN EAT PAPER MONEY!

ElvisDog's picture

Just further confirmation for me to never eat anything that comes from China. Plastic fucking rice. Brilliant.

Saxxon's picture

I've been to Taiyuan; Shanxi Province, illegal coal mines, bone-dry and cold in the winter. 

Keep moving but Pingyao is interesting - one of the few walled cities remaining.

I thought it was a joke too.

Agent P's picture

"This “rice” is a mix of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and plastic. It is formed by mixing the potatoes and sweet potatoes into the shape of rice grains, then adding industrial synthetic resins. Since the rice does not behave like normal rice, it stays hard even after it has been cooked. Such synthetic resins can also be very harmful if consumed."

It would be sweet poetic justice if this stuff came with a "Made in USA" sticker on the bag.

instinctiveDrift's picture

It's only a matter of time before some tries to make Chinese White Wine from this stuff...

HamyWanger's picture

Nice bounce on the DJIA this morning! I'm ready to bet it will close green, like every other day. AAPL will reach 1,000 dollars an action in less than 9 months, according to my personal research and technical analysis.

Shorter permadoomers once again lost money. If you want an investing advice: buy AAPL and NFLX, sell your gold.

iota's picture

Oh wait it's Hamy, not Harry. I unjunk thee!

hedgeless_horseman's picture

With Sara Lee® Delightful™ White Bread, you can enjoy a great tasting meal without feeling like you're missing out. Delightful™ bread gives you the taste and texture you love, but with only 45 calories per full-size slice. So go on, make yourself a delicious sandwich - you won't even notice the calories that are missing.

  • 25% FEWER CALORIES THAN REGULAR WHITE BREAD

http://www.saraleebread.com/our-bread/delightful/bread

 

Why use expensive wheat, when you can use sawdust?  That is right, cellulose, AKA sawdust, bitchezzz!!!!  But it still costs the same.  I see no inflation.

MonsterBox's picture

you've got to be kidding...saw dust?!?

guess PT Barnum was right:  "A sucker born every minute" 

My dear Nubians, care for a slice of US of A white bread?

WTF....

hedgeless_horseman's picture

One manufacturer even added sawdust to replace the lost bran, calling it cellulose on the label and advertising it as "high-fiber" bread.

http://www.drcranton.com/nutrition/bread.htm

 

 

  • 25% FEWER CALORIES THAN REGULAR WHITE BREAD
  • SAME FUCKING PRICE AS REGULAR WHITE BREAD
  • SAME TASTE OF BLEACH YOU HAVE COME TO LOVE  

 

 BTFSBYFI

nonclaim's picture

Extra-processed meat in sausages can also contain, beyond disgusting low quality meat, a lot of cellulose for consistency and shape (up to 40%, IIRC).

Cathartes Aura's picture

Mechanically separated meat (MSM), a product also known as mechanically recovered/reclaimed meat (MRM), mechanically deboned meat (MDM), is a paste-like meat product produced by forcing beef, pork, turkey or chicken bones, with attached edible meat, under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue. For the production of chicken and turkey MSM, most of the time, breast carcasses are used as they still contain parts of breast meat.

Mechanically separated meat has been used in certain meat and meat products since the late 1960s. This product can be contrasted with meat extracted by advanced meat recovery systems. The most common use of MSM is into hot dogs.

During the 50s, mechanically separated meat was mostly used as a raw material for the product of hot dogs; nowadays, also luncheon meats, burgers and mortadella are being made from MSM, after a process pioneered by Todd Mudry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanically_reclaimed_meat

what was once considered "dog food" - now approved for human consumption. . . that Monsanto/FDA revolving door pays off!

Bob's picture

Where's the pumper to explain to us all that it's really about supply and demand??

The Rogue Economist's picture

It's all about supply and demand! ^_^

Actually, it is. An oversupply of dollars is causing upward pressure on food prices, resulting in a substitution effect.

In other words, a little plastic is better than starving.

God help us all.

Ivanovich's picture

This shit is fucking hilarious.  The end cannot be far away.  News gets exponentially more surreal every day.

jus_lite_reading's picture

In many lands where the price of food increases just 5% per year, people resort to eating mud. With 25% monthly increases in food prices, we'll see war.

Xibalba's picture

It's fly lice!

GoinFawr's picture

Just add a melamine cream sauce to your plastic rice...

Bob's picture

Rice that really sticks to your ribs . . .

I see some executions coming.

Ivanovich's picture

What the hell just sent gold into orbit?

Dick Darlington's picture

Next time i go to supermarket I have to check if they already have changed the picture of Uncle Ben on the side of the rice box. I fear that the gentle looking old man has been replaced by a picture of Gen Ben.

pazmaker's picture

I'm long grain rice....basmati

tmosley's picture

Much healthier than short grain rice.

MonsterBox's picture

As Uncle Benny prints, the fiat flys to the nearest bubble, in this case it's rice.  was cotton a couple days ago...

pazmaker's picture

Monster... Uncle Ben does put out some pretty good rice!

MonsterBox's picture

True, LOL.  but the other Ben (the beryank) continues to print a product of diminishing value.  lets say its less filling

HUGE_Gamma's picture

bloomberg interview yesterday with former editor of `Rice Trader` said that Chicago Rice is not good benchmark.. Philippines and Vietnam has the big swinging rice bags.

umop episdn's picture

It's just *amazing* what they can do with plastics nowadays. Too bad the plastic rice is about as edible as a Criminal Reserve Note.

kentfinance's picture

gold trades 13510

Pool Shark's picture

reason for the pop?

I haven't heard any news...

MonsterBox's picture

LMFAO!  love the five-digits!

that would be a considerable pop!

kentfinance's picture

priced in ticks (obviously)

chet's picture

I am really starting to wonder if international chaos might not end Ben's shit show a lot earlier than planned.

HarryWanger's picture

So as I questioned the food price posts a couple of days ago, why would you think "Bangladesh will be in flames" when there were several months in 2007-08 with much higher prices. Why didn't they protest then? Also, why did they price come back down off those highs as it will this time too?

I remember the "food prices surge" in 2008 and everyone saying it was demand driven that you should all pile into Potash, Mosaic or anything to do with food only to see their faces get ripped off on the subsequent crash. We have plenty of upside possible until the inevitable crash in commodities once again smacks speculators in the face.

jus_lite_reading's picture

This is the result of a "strong recovery," Harry. Ben's plan was for every man woman and child to own a castle. It's clearly working. Everyone will be a trillionaire by next month...

Tyler Durden's picture

And our response to you was how much money was the Fed printing on a weekly basis back in the summer of 2008.