RIMMberrrrrrrrrrrr (Resumes Trading At $29.75)

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Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:29 | 1375721 goldencross10
goldencross10's picture

.....Well EPS was a penny above..

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:56 | 1375934 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

How long before Ballmer goes full retard and attempts to buy RIMM for $50/share?

No doubt about it, Ballmer will try one more hail-mary acquisition to salvage his lackluster reputation before he drifts away into the strange world of bored billianaires who spend their days building Lego robots, traveling nonstop around the world in balloons, building guitar museums, and drafting plans for the ultra rich to travel in space.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:07 | 1375978 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

He'll rename the product line Microsoft DingleBerry.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:20 | 1375997 Prof Gulliver
Prof Gulliver's picture

It will take a lot of hot air to get a balloon holding Ballmer off the ground. Fortunately, he has an endless supply.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:33 | 1376029 anynonmous
anynonmous's picture

Microsoft + RIM = Ballmer + Ballsilllie

= balls for bookends

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:47 | 1376522 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

the only acquisition msft should look at is facebook. they did a good job with windows phone 7, don't need to buy f'n junkberry. nokia is a dead end, too. i don't see why they don't go down the apple route and foxconn their own hardware spec. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:55 | 1376557 optionking
optionking's picture

Hysterical thanks for the laughs.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:33 | 1375723 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

up ah? heh heh

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:31 | 1375730 LRC Fan
LRC Fan's picture

Halted until 4:50 lol.  I expect a 25% drop followed by a full retracement by tomorrow morning and then a solidly green close. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:32 | 1375733 hazenyc
hazenyc's picture

stock is halted.. Place your bets for after hrs mkt when it re-opens...!


I say down 2%

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:40 | 1375749 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

if it ain't crAAPL - SELL!

hell, even if it is crAAPL - SELL!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:45 | 1375773 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I say down 11% - 13% in the after hours reopen, but back to 5% - 7% down by the open tomorrow.   

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:55 | 1375801 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Trading now at -15%...I probably should have stopped at the first half of my prediction.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:54 | 1375798 hazenyc
hazenyc's picture

i meant to write 22% ;)

Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:31 | 1377470 Agent P
Agent P's picture

And I meant to say down an additional 5% - 7% at the open. ;)

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:32 | 1375734 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

not much of a blackberry, more like a dingleberry.  next up, layoffs and an improving job picture.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:42 | 1375754 sabra1
sabra1's picture

nothing like halle berry!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:56 | 1375821 knukles
knukles's picture

I'm tempted. 
Sorely tempted.
But even by my rather different very low bar standards, putting Halle and well, you know, togeather, is just wrong. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:38 | 1375755 LRC Fan
LRC Fan's picture

RIMM should just go for broke and try to buy P and LNKD on the cheap. 


But seriously, I've had a hunch that RIMM will either be bought out, or will try to buy someone out to make a splash.  Maybe Netflix and RIMM will partner up for an exclusive match on all Playbook/Blackberries.  Or maybe MSFT takes a shot and combines the Blackberry hardware with Windows mobile and Skype.  GOOG probably has a good use for some of the patents/hardware as well.  The possibilities are endless but RIMM is dying on its own and probably won't be saved without a takeover. 

I have a Blackberry but will not be buying one again.  I'm waiting for a solid Droid or iPhone later this year.  Almost all my friends and coworkers have either a Droid or iPhone.  A bunch used to or still are hanging on to their Blackberries, but I would be shocked to see any of them buy a new Blackberry when they upgrade.  The Blackberry app world sucks, the software is just okay, I do like the hardware but it's much too slow and outdated now compared to all the new phones.  All of their key features are now bleh.  BBM is now pointless.  Droid/iPhone all the way. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:25 | 1375889 3.7.77
3.7.77's picture

Yea, entrenched in business is the only thing keeping them afloat, kinda like MS.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:36 | 1375735 CreditcalMass
CreditcalMass's picture

Revisions bitchez!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:35 | 1375741 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Head count reductions at the company to be received by Criminal Syndicate Wall Street bankers as Good News.  Pesky employees...who needs 'em?  They so get in the way of profitability.

Learjet exodus, please.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:53 | 1375807 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

In the very near future the ultimate corporation will be 1 guy with a market cap of $100 billion, stock with a 150 P/E, and 1 employee.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:01 | 1375828 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Yup that's my plan.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:05 | 1375837 knukles
knukles's picture

With zero revenues, monolithic expenses, written off against infinite tax relief adjusted to a zero rate, holding each and evey last equity layer of each and every last CDO backed by unrecoverable defaulted nonexistent loans improperly packaged into an illegal unregistered entity domiciled on a parcel of land employed as a military bombing range, opined upon by a non-admitted non-lawyer masquerading as an investment banker the shares of which are only traded by only one algol stolen from a defunct pump and dump Russian mobster owned unregistered brokerage firm affiliated with the ousted government of some ungodly place with a PO box in the Belgian Congo.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:52 | 1376068 The Fonz
The Fonz's picture

Nicely done sir!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:27 | 1375901 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture


Did you not get the memo about Thomas Alva Edison?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:37 | 1375742 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

is this what they refer to as a 'rimjob'?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:58 | 1375827 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

It'll equal no job at rimm as they need to head cut to prop up the stock for the top brass.

Hard to see how aapl can do well after this.

Apple needs to be able to sell, market and profit from lower priced iPads and iPhones. People arent going to pay the same price for 3rd and 4th revisions.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:34 | 1375744 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Charts! I believe nothing unless there are charts!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:36 | 1375747 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Expect "job reduction" programs to become more robust as margins and revenues become less so.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:36 | 1375748 DonnieD
DonnieD's picture

The dreaded buyback to soften the blow. Stick a fork in these guys.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:06 | 1375844 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Money to prop up the stock price and make eps look better, but fuck employees and r&d. Gotta love the mentality of short sighted greed.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:37 | 1375751 kito
kito's picture

not much news from a company whose obsolete platform has been losing ground to android and apple for several years. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:00 | 1375954 pitz
pitz's picture

Obsolete platform?  Hardly.  Most of the advantage of the BlackBerry products is embodied in what the end user doesn't see -- the BlackBerry Enterprise Server, the encryption, the relatively low bandwidth requirements, the security of using such a device on a typical corporate network without a bunch of messy and relatively unsafe VPN stuff as would be required on the Android/Iphone platforms.

It will be years, if ever, before Apple or Google ever get to the point where they offer the same feature set.  If that's even the design goal of those platforms.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:54 | 1376073 The Fonz
The Fonz's picture

I used to help support Blackberrys overseas. Another unseen advantage of the company is they work separate deals for data access in contries that AT&T will pinch the networks on. There were many times no other device would get data in areas of the middle east for businessmen besides Blackberrys.  That is a pretty noteworthy advantage.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 19:08 | 1376104 pitz
pitz's picture

Of course.  And if someone sends an email with a 300mb .pdf to a BlackBerry user, the BES will distill that down into something quite compressed and suitable for display on the device.  The Android/iPhone devices will merely send the whole file, data requirements and processing power/space required on the end-user device be damned. 

Its not too hard to obtain 'unlimited' Blackberry plans where its one flat price per month because of this efficiency.  Whereas, in terms of costs, the sky is basically the limit for Android/iPhone.  This is a huge advantage in the 'corporate' environment where thousands of devices are being issued to employees. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:05 | 1376106 pitz
pitz's picture


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:40 | 1376110 pitz
pitz's picture


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:27 | 1376115 pitz
pitz's picture


Fri, 06/17/2011 - 02:24 | 1376817 pitz
pitz's picture

Who junked me?  Why?  AAPL bagholder by any chance, bummed out that its getting harder and harder to shove AAPL stuff down people's throats, nevermind build it cheap in Foxconn factories?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:43 | 1375759 Agent P
Agent P's picture

iWonder what's causing their problems?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:46 | 1375772 knukles
knukles's picture


iFeel like an iDiot when iDon't get iT.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:49 | 1375775 sabra1
sabra1's picture

Weiner used a blackberry!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:55 | 1375797 knukles
knukles's picture

Oh!  That's why he thought sending the pictures was secure!
Sorta like getting being surprised when they throw you out of the InternetCafe for watching porn and you blame it on the inPrivate Browsing not working right.
While you talk to Weiner.


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:53 | 1375794 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

they sell blackberrys. lololololo

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:58 | 1375814 Agent P
Agent P's picture


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:46 | 1375777 goldencross10
goldencross10's picture

New RIMM product: iBerry

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:04 | 1375839 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:10 | 1375857 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

This just in, RIMM's PR department announces a new product targeting "Those damn racist tea baggers"

Introducing the WhiteBerry...


(Seriously, with CAPTCHAs of 4- _ = 2, you'll get plenty of comments from morons like me.)

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