Russia Discovers American-Style "Capitalism", Completes Record Bailout Of Fifth Largest Bank

Tyler Durden's picture

Just in case there was any speculation that American-style communism as any different from Russian-style capitalism, any concerns that the Bernanke put has now gone airborne can be put to rest. As the BBC reports, "Russia's fifth largest bank, Bank of Moscow, has been given the biggest bail-out in Russian history." The hilarity ensues: the $14bn rescue came after another bank, VTB, gained control through a
hostile bid, only to uncover bad loans valued at $9bn - a third of the
bank's assets. So let's get this straight: VTB bid a premium to the equity price only to find out that not only was the entire market cap worth nothing, but that the purchase could have been completed by buying up Bank of Moscow's bonds at 66% cents on the dollar, promptly followed by a debt for equity swap, in which the bulk of the debt could have been equitized, and the resulting company could have been a lean mean lending machine, without a single taxpayer cent spent. Instead, Russia took the American way out, and pretended assets are worth something. Under the rescue deal, the Russian central bank will provide a 295bn
rouble ($10.6bn) 10-year loan at a negligible interest rate to Bank of
Moscow. But that's not all:
Bank of Moscow's former head, Andrei Borodin, has fled the country, and a warrant has been issued for his arrest. And to think that only a week ago the head of the Afghanistan Central Bank Fitrat, who "obviously" is absolutely innocent of all allegations he stole hundreds of millions from Bank of Kabul, escaped to the US. And to keep some illusion as to which countries are now final destinations to exiled global kleptocrats, Borodin has decided to run away to London, until such time as he takes over some Goldman Sachs M&A banker in the New York office. And how you know how capitalism works under central planning.

More from the BBC:

The bank was used by ex-Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov to fund property projects.

Mr Luzhkov was sacked by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev last year.

In a statement issued in London, Mr Borodin said he was shocked at the size of the bail-out, and claimed that VTB's takeover of the bank was politically motivated.

VTB, for its part, accused Bank of Moscow of committing "fraudulent lending" under Mr Borodin's control, while Russian Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin has called for a criminal investigation.

Under the rescue deal, the Russian central bank will provide a 295bn rouble ($10.6bn) 10-year loan at a negligible interest rate to Bank of Moscow.

Meanwhile, VTB will invest a further 100bn roubles to recapitalise the bank - taking its ownership share from 46% to 75%, enough to qualify for state aid.

VTB, Russia's second-biggest lender, had itself to be rescued by the Russian state to the tune of $6.4bn during the financial crisis.

h/t Paul

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bugs_'s picture

Mr. President we cannot allow a moral hazard gap!!

malikai's picture

Not so fast. This guy is going to have to spend a lot of that loot to keep the mob guys off his back.

And if I were him, I wouldn't eat sushi ever again, either.

Gully Foyle's picture

In Russia banks loan you

snowball777's picture

I will bury YOU(re bad loans with another bad loan).

km4's picture

excellent corrupt to the core symmetry

RobotTrader's picture

That story is nothing short of hilarious.

More proof that the "Bernanke" model of bailouts, monetizations, stimulizations, extend and pretend, etc. is now the envy of central banks worldwide, and will be studied for the next 75 years in the world's top business schools as one of the greatest financial miracles of all time.

Rynak's picture

Yup, a miracle similiar to genocide..... i mean, both are quite "impressive", when seen from anyone who isn't used to this.

But i guess any publicity is good publicity, mmh?

traderjoe's picture

You've become such a mockery. 

Posts like these aren't even funny and make far too much light of the death and destruction perpetrated in the name of our central banking/cartel planning. Some day, I hope Karma whips you in the ass.  

Popo's picture

Please familiarize yourself with the following concept:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallows_humor

dwdollar's picture

This model will work until it doesn't, but I doubt it will last 75 years.  That's 3-4 generations.  Each one will be closer to poverty than the last.  A lot can happen in that time.

Cassandra Syndrome's picture

The artificially low interest rates of the Central Banks in the 1920s were studied by Mises and Hayek who warned off a depression in the 1930s. They criticised the government intervention of the early 30s and the relevant bailouts then and warned of prolonging the depression leading to war.

So we don't need future ivory towered drones studying this retrospectively as a new school of economics. Its happened many times before in history. The Venetian bank collapse of the 1340s was similar after the UK defaulted, collapsing the global financial system then over a number of years. What happened after that?

Oh yeah plagues, and I mean deadly real ones, not the virtual types like you are on this website.

oogs66's picture

the world hasn't gone 6 months without needing another form of bailout...let's wait and see if the problem is actually fixed or he is just making a potential collapse that much worse before passing judgement on the 'miracle' he has created

Blano's picture

Jesus Jenny people where have all your sarcasm meters gone???

Tyler needs to add a "flag as sarcasm" spot looks like.

Reese Bobby's picture

$10.6B?  They call that a bail-out?  Odd-lotters...

Rynak's picture

We non-americans.... despite of in the past trying really hard to close in on them, just can't match their level of crapocracy.... we always lag behind them :-( It's why we created the EMU.

Blano's picture

That's barely a weekend bender in Washington nowadays.

buzzsaw99's picture

pathetically small. gollum steals more than that every quarter.

boiltherich's picture

The army misplaced more than that in Iraq.

Downtoolong's picture

Someone at Goldman Sachs should be fired for sleeping on the job and missing an opportunity for a deal here. This was nothing that the right OTC currency and interest rate derivative couldn’t fix.  

JW n FL's picture

 

Exxon oil spills in Yellowstone River, forces evacuations

Spill stretches over dozens of miles; not sure what caused pipeline break

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43619388/ns/us_news-environment/

 

 

  Heavy Hitters(1 result)

  Lobbying Client(3 results)

  PACs(1 result)

  Top Contributor to Member(287 results)

Hide All

  Top Contributor to Candidate(64 results)

Hide All

  Affiliate of Heavy Hitter(16 results)

Hide All

http://www.opensecrets.org/usearch/index.php?q=exxon&cx=010677907462955562473%3Anlldkv0jvam&cof=FORID%3A11#831

jeff montanye's picture

thank you.  that is a single deep drill into the actual beating heart of why our government is corrupt.

Protonrick's picture

Maurice Hinchey [D NY] is not on that list.

Good for him!

 

But his omission now begs the question,

"Can a congressperson decline a donation?"

 

Amish Hacker's picture

And remember, folks, always fill up with Exxon, at the sign of the double cross.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

thx, j-dub.  does it cost extra to give us the lists? 

first, let me advise proton_rick that maurice hinchley (D-ny) may have been left off the list b/c exxon wasn't the Top Contributor to him. 

the link below shows that billings is downstream from yogi in jellystone.  the spill is est to be "no more than" 1,000 barrels (here is the Paste fr the msnbc link, above):An ExxonMobil pipeline that runs under the Yellowstone River near Billings in south-central Montana ruptured and dumped up to 1,000 barrels of oil, fouling the riverbank and forcing water intakes downstream to be closed. (End Paste).

this link:  Yellowstone National Park Rivers, Streams and Creeks ~ Yellowstone Up Close and Personal   shows the v. full yellowstone r.  flowing NE into the mighty (and flooding) missouri r., just X the state line into n. dakota. 

from the link that j-dub in FL gave us, exxon sez (Paste):

Company spokeswoman Pam Malek said the pipe broke about 11:30 p.m. Friday and leaked for about a half-hour.

while the fire chief @ the city of laurel sez (Paste): 

Brent Peters, the fire chief for the city of Laurel about 12 miles east of Billings, said the break in the 12-inch diameter pipe occurred about a mile south of Laurel. Crews shut down the pipeline about half an hour later.

these two reports seem to confirm each other.  however, the company is asserting that the pipe broke @ 11:30 pm, when it was first noticed.  did they notice it right away?  do they really know when the pipe broke?  how?

...to be continued...

angelsand's picture

this is all highly predictable, right back to the cold war, citizens believed that the cold war skull duggery of the intelligence agencies [control] were somehow more worthwhile or morally superior to this of Russia's when in reality we are just as willing to sell our souls and belief systems on down the line as the communists are.

See patriot act and tarp.

 

 

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Fuck Russia. They have never been on the side of anything but tyranny and oppression.

Fuck you, Ivan.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Russia is one of those places that careful people would NEVER invest in.  They will NEVER get any of my money.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Hey DCRB. Good blogging.

On Topic though, are you saying that the US is a better place to invest than the USSR?

At least there you know what you get.....bribery, thuggery, a little mafia, a Gaz, perhaps even a Prom.

In the US.... all velvet and sweetness and the famous sales one-liner that always got me.... the guy leans in and says, "Look, I'm going to be up-front with you". I'd alsways ask them, why, is that a special behaviour for me? Are you usually lying?

 

No sir, all the same. Invest if you know your investee. Else, take your money and run.

Hey, anyone want to invest in India? It WILL save your ass and your wealth. Think about it. ;-)

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/desiderata/

ZeroPower's picture

"Look, I'm going to be up-front with you". I'd alsways ask them, why, is that a special behaviour for me? Are you usually lying?

Haha thats a good one!

Salesmen like that are such 'sala chuthias'

angelsand's picture

this brings me to a point I have been cogitating on, while we certainly need more farci linguists, now is not the time to dismantle the russo soviet block of intelligence, in fact I submit to you that since so many of our enemies are still willing to talk with the russians, we should increase our russian surveillance 

bugs_'s picture

I agree we need to increase our russian surveillance particulary Anna Chapman

angelsand's picture

tyranny and oppression, that sounds familiar

while I agree with you on the mass murder point, I disagree with you on that we are so much different, if anything we are more alike, after all we were allies in ww2, in fact after the cold war we were basically butt buddies, as if this country doesn't have blood stains on its hands from tyranny, please

FinalCollapse's picture

I hope Borodin enjoys eating foods with radioactive polonium.

 

AldousHuxley's picture

Russian communists found private ownership of state natural resources are worth a lot of money in the "free" market. Meanwhile American elites are rushing to compete their ego with new global billionares by whipping the enslaved American middle class harder with 60hr/week jobs with no security or benefits.

 

Russian Billionaire 36 Year Old Andrey Melnichenkos $300 Mil Super Mega Jet Yacht

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=414X1AfJEQw

JW n FL's picture

he is the second owner and it was not $300m, even after he painted it +++.

Jack Napier's picture

The rats are jumping ship. They must smell gunpowder burning.

Josh Randall's picture

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Missiondweller's picture

One contrast between Russia and the US: Russian bankers fear arrest. Not so much in the US.

cosmictrainwreck's picture

Meanwhile, Prime Minister "Vlad, Baby!" Putin remarks about increasing presence in Arctic and how 2012 elections will be "dirty" [translation: Dmitry "little hoss" Medvedev may not be up to the challenge, so Vlad will have to run for Pres. - can you say "6 (12?) more years!"?]

boiltherich's picture

Seems they have the same fundamental issues we do, no regulation, no oversight, corrupt political processes, and fictional accounting standards.  Tsar Vladimir has as big a ponzi/mafia problem as we do, but he has a short memory, he is popular now, so was Tsar Nicholas until he dragged Russia into a disasterous WW I with his cousin the Kaiser.  Russia has a history of disposing of those rulers they become disenchanted with.  Vote for you one day and kick your ass to the curb when they are fed up, ask Yeltsin.

Yen Cross's picture

   I always liked your remarks!   Yen

n00b tube's picture

You know, I think I'm with SD-1 on this. Why not just bail out the whole fucking world with 10 quadrillion dollars and be done with it. What's that? Don't want to trigger hyper-inflation just yet? I see. The markets need to tank before more funny money gets added to circulation. The sheeple won't panic too much because they'll be told it's "Transitory (a new bedtime story)."

ebworthen's picture

 

Comrades!

The U.S. has learned from the U.S.S.R. and China; central control with crony capitalism hand-in-hand with banks and judicial systems is most pleasing, except for the peasants.

More Vodka!

 

Yen Cross's picture

 Russia Discovers MEDVEDEV!     Putin take your pellits in umbrellas, And Siberian Tigers and VACATE!            Russia Loves Medvedev!