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The Scam Artist Formerly Known As The Market Proceeds To Refute EMT In Under 10 Minutes

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 07/02/2010 15:55 -0400

Just because idle frontrunning Cisco routers are sad routers. Also, the Fed has a trillions pieces of paper just collecting dust: explains why Goldman and JPM allegedly received RFPs for the most creative way to squeeze the last nickel out of their momentum trading clients recently. Lastly, let's not forget today's John Holmes NFP report that confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that the Depression is over. The only silver lining is that had this occurred in early 2009, the market would have been up about 1,000 points in 2 minutes on 10 SPY shares. It appears even the Liberty 33 team is now composed exclusively of census workers (hired and fired about 20 times in the current week).

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Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:59 | 449854 Jim in MN

It's like drivers who speed up and slow down in front of you just to be a pain in the ass and to 'control' you. For their own psychological purposes. Which are, indeed, sad.

Is there an algo for max irritation?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:27 | 449930 Whizbang

Actually, it's because you are riding their asses and they are fucking with you.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:48 | 450072 downrodeo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5I7lXV9b88

Sat, 07/03/2010 - 00:22 | 450456 Jim in MN

And that helps the market metaphor...how?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:59 | 449855 IE

Cool with me - I bought 1500 shares of BGZ at under $18.30 a few minutes ago at the top of their stupid ramp job. Put in some stops, and we're all set for Tuesday! lol

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:59 | 449856 HelluvaEngineer

OK, so I get it that shorts might be covering going into the weekend, but seriously, short of QE2 what could possibly go *right* this long weekend?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:02 | 449864 IE

I'm actually betting the other way. I just see this as a low vol ramp job attempt to keep people smiling over the long weekend.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:04 | 449878 HelluvaEngineer

Looks like you're in the black already on your trade. Good job.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 15:59 | 449857 Cognitive Dissonance

My mother was a 2010 census worker (she's been one for the past 3) and she said she was only hired and fired three times. Shame on you Tyler for exaggerating.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:02 | 449862 Instant Karma

Probably just short covering.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:02 | 449865 EscapeKey

When you play poker with a cheat, he migt run out of money. But with Ben, he'll just print some more.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:02 | 449867 Edna R. Rider

Wow. For all you bulls out there (oh, maybe another site?) that last 10 minutes has to be a tiny bit discouraging no?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:03 | 449869 cougar_w

Ha ha. You posted 30 seconds too soon TD.

How about that interesting nose-dive into the bell? Someone wanted out reeeeeally badly, to pull that off.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:05 | 449880 Ragnarok

Fuck this market has the stench of Sept. 2008 all over it.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:03 | 449870 wagefreedom

SO WT FUCK was that in the last 10 mins?????

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:06 | 449882 bada boom

Apparently the goose was shot down.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:05 | 449874 Mercury

Hah! not so fast. What's a snappy term for a guy who tries like hell to get it up for the big moment only to go limp right at showtime? Not what you want on a Friday either.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 18:43 | 450129 Apophis

Ummmm... A Geithner?

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:04 | 449876 jkruffin

Can you imagine Bernanke and Geithner having to take a polygraph test regarding their market interventions, which they deny they are involved? I bet the machine would break apart because the needle would be zooming all over the place from the lies told. They would discredit the guilt by saying the machine was never stress tested, so the results cannot be believed. LOL

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:10 | 449894 Joe Davola

Remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 18:37 | 450123 Art Vandelay

That's my line!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:31 | 449939 nobita

polygraphs do not work. this has been proven.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:03 | 449999 nmewn

You mean they don't work on psychopaths.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:06 | 449884 WineSorbet

Sign of a nice, healthy market. Absolutely stupid, this market!

Happy 4th!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:08 | 449886 Jim in MN

Fedsters to Tyler Durden: IN YOUR FACE, NON PhD BLOGGER!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:08 | 449887 n2dark

another 20 mins and it would have crashed at least 50 spx pts

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:09 | 449890 Internet Tough Guy

Stupid predictable ramp jobs. How many years is this supposed to go on? No one believes they mean anything any more.

Pull the plug, already. Let the poor bastard RIP.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:17 | 449910 BeerGoggles

Same here, easy buy expecting the end of day short squeeze

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:17 | 449911 traderjoe

David Darst (MS) was on CNBS right at the close - said they thought economy was going to hit a soft patch, but stocks would stabilize and go up, and that the firm also upgraded global GDP to 4.8%. WTF? Must be hoping that someone will buy their book from them...

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:26 | 449920 neophyte

!!!!!Breaking News!!!!!

Back from the Future

Tuesday July 5 2010: Reuters:

We are told by inside sources that the President sequestered Messers Bernanke, Summers, Geithner, Dodd, Frank, Reid and Pelosi and others to forego their 4th of July weekend to hammer out a plan to combat the failing economy.

The details are sketchy but it appears that some sort of deal to has been reached to extend some of the programmes that clearly worked acording to our sources. We think that they might be referring to:

1. Extending Home Buyers Credit

2. Reinstating aid for those unemployed for more thatn 26 weeks

3. Direct paycheck to all families

4. Buying back more MBS

5. Mandating banks to not foreclose indefinitely

6. Funnelling some more funds to the banks

7. Also, using clandestine means (so that Tyler cannot catch them) to funnel some money to the PIIGS

It is learned that the WH will be holding a press conference at 8.30 AM. The futures overnight had broken through 1000 on the S&P and have now traded back and pared losses. We will keep you updated.

-Staff Reporter-

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 21:44 | 450342 IE

Um... yeah - sure.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 16:43 | 449968 jkruffin

Well, although I have to work everyday this weekend until Tuesday morning, I wish everyone a safe and happy 4th of July holiday. Take care all. See ya next week.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 20:17 | 450260 Sisyphus

You too, jkruffin!

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:14 | 450025 DavidC

This wasn't a ramp.

I took a (long) position on the basis that people would not want to go into the holiday weekend with running short positions (after all, look what happened to the EURCHF over the last day or so). Fortunately, it has to be said, I was out when the last few minute drop occurred! That move I put down to a limit order having been triggered.

By the way, I am not arrogant enough to make out all my trades are this good - they're not. But I do think I called this particular one correctly.

DavidC

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 17:48 | 450071 downrodeo

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 19:08 | 450167 bluebare

I agree with ZH overall views re: market manipulations and long-term prospects but I don't expect the world economy or stock markets to conform to some folks wishes for a quick, conclusive demise. The Squid is still hard at work as are quite a few good companies still making an honest living out there. We've seen before that favorable action by the Fed, a few jiggered numbers, a bevy of earnings "surprises" and "beats" are plenty of catalyst to get an ever-more-lightly traded market moving up again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 19:41 | 450220 Careless Whisper