Sean Corrigan's Letter To All The "Idiots" Who Believe The Japanese Calamity Will "Prove Positive For GDP"

Tyler Durden's picture

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SilverRhino's picture

I just had a totally badass idea.  

35 million fucking people are about to become homeless inTokyo when all hell breaks loose.   We have 7-8 million homes in foreclosure (back of the envelope calculations from last year's memory so correct me if I'm wrong).

USA cuts a deal with Japan.   COMPLETE forgiveness of all UST's in exchange (+ every ounce of gold you got) for the houses and settlement priviliges for all Japanese refugees.  

Japan takes care of their people. USA wipes out debt.  Everyone wins. (Except for the predatory speculators)

Hacked Economy's picture

Interesting...The vacant homes get filled, the homeless get roof over their heads.  Sounds good at first glance.

Wait a minute!  Didn't we offer the Japanese "accommodations" here during WWII as well?  They didn't like it back then...

financeguru500's picture

You mean the camps we put them into. Yeah, no one is a big fan of being forced into a camp no matter which way you phrase it lol.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

But what if we painted all the buildings with Hello Kitty's on them?  Hello Kitty is quite popular in Japan.  There is Hello Kitty motor oil, Hello Kitty sex toys, Hello Kitty theme parks, and now there could be a Hello Kitty camp.  Don't think of it as an interment camp, think of it as Hello Kitty Housing.

Problem Is's picture

Hello Kitty core melt down nuclear reactors...

Hello Kitty glow in the dark radio active rice...

Hello Kitty three-eyed sashimi...

strannick's picture

And when they're all at school, think how bad our kids will feel about themselves when they realize how bad they are at math

Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

We'll need black business suits. Lots and lots of black business suits.

Harlequin001's picture

This idiocy needs to stop. If interest rates continue to rise and borrowing costs become excessive there is no guarantee that any of this will ever be rebuilt. The only reason to say this is if you INTEND to manipulate markets higher and you need an excuse

If a scale 9 earthquake and the biggest tsunami in a hundred years is such a great opportunity, let's nuke em.

But would anybody who thinks this is such a great opportunity do us all the favour of visiting the place just before we do it...

dark pools of soros's picture

but they have "such small penis" which is the only math Americans care about


"so small"


strannick's picture

They make standard look like metric. 2 + 2 = 6"

Jaw Knee Cash's picture

The persistent broken window fallacy that Bastiat covered in 1850 or so. Did the atomic bombs in 1945 also "prove + for the Japanese GDP"?

XPolemic's picture

Did the atomic bombs in 1945 also "prove + for the Japanese GDP"?

Oddly enough, yes, but only because it brought an end to the idiotic war, and gave them a constitution that prevented more idiotic wars.

Unfortunately, it didn't prevent the development of idiotic politicians. But that is a problem the world over. If this crisis has shown anything, it is that indisputably, wherever you are in the world, Baby Boomers are incompetent morons.

robobbob's picture

Yeah, but this time many of them will be McMansions

some never even lived in

friends again?

DosZap's picture

They would think they had died and gone to heaven.

Their houses compraed to the ones we have vacant, are about 25%+/- less in size, with ZERO yards.

Yeas, they were interred,by the Nazi bstd FDR.

He also wanted to do rthe same to the German Americans, except they made up a HUGE portion of the population,( way to big to handle)and were off fighting the Germans.

financeguru500's picture

Maybe you were thinking China, not Japan. Because Japan owns very little of treasuries (around 300 billion if I recall). Japan has been trying to get over their own economic depression that has been on going for 20+ years. They don't have any sort of finances that would even come close to paying off the United States debt.

btw. that wasn't me who junked you silver. I don't agree with junking unless someone says something completely ridiculous. I don't consider your idea bad at all. Just wish it was possible to fix our debt problems.

SilverRhino's picture

WRONG:  Japan owns 882 Billion in UST's  as of the last major chart published at ZH.

[Edit: that sounded a little too harsh and your not Chumba or one of the stockboys so I'll be reasonably polite ;-) ]

Not too worried about getting junked.  To me this just seemed like a nice idea for humantiarian aid (sell at a slight discount)

Tortfeasor's picture

Doesn't that value each home at something like $20,000-$30,000 each?

SilverRhino's picture

Officially they have 765 tonnes of Gold Reserves.  Piddling but it's something.  There is also the question of Yamashita's gold and they could bargain with other items for purchasing rights. 

Would you rather be broke, penniless and starting over or wealthy and irridated and probably die of cancer?

Be prepared to lose everything, TWICE in your life.


Jaw Knee Cash's picture

In my experience, it would be at least 3 times.

DaBernank's picture

Irradiated gold moved to Fort Knox... Wasn't there a Bond film...?

johnnynaps's picture

Oh, just enough to pay 5 cents for every dollar we have spent! And, when they get the homes that our wonderful, patriotic banks forced families out of......I'm sure that will boil over without one burn!  

reader2010's picture

That would be too fucking terrific for the banks. 

Count Laszlo's picture

It'd make for a great movie concept. 

ZerOhead's picture

Great idea! Plus the Japanese make great stuff which we will have to begin making again once the yuan gets depegged. (They buy lousy reactors though...:)

For anyone interested in following the weather systems by satellite here is northern Pacific Ocean infrared spectrum. Shows heat and atmospheric moisture well. 

Select the dot for 111 images... and hit "play".

Japan is in the upper left hand corner and just visible in the gray area.

This is a two day run so if the radioactive elements are around 10,000 feet or so they are already two thirds of the way or more across.

Seattle to all Alaska... that's the North American 'landing zone' right now for the stuff that doesn't get rained out over the ocean.

sun tzu's picture

The reason they have such lousy reactors is because they bought American

ZerOhead's picture

I guess one has to start somewhere when designing big civilian reactors from scratch. 40 years is a long life for a reactor so perhaps I shouldn't shit on old GE technology other than the absence of multiple shutdown redundancies and the anticipation that an earthquake could be followed by a giant diesel engine choking tsunami.

But they had 40 years to recognize and correct that problem.

This is quickly becoming a living nightmare for tens of millions and a probable death sentence for the brave souls working closest to the reactors.

Fuck. Just fuck.

Zer0head's picture

Ditto for Boeing and those flying deathtrap 747s, to think these pigs (who can fly) have been overhead for nigh unto 41 years.

duo's picture

The conventional wisdom was until 2004 that subduction-thrust-fault deep-water 9.0M earthquakes only happened in Chile or Alaska, therefore giant tsunamis weren't considered a threat.

Some precautions and backup systems could have been prepared after the 2004 quake, but TEPCO was in the middle of a scandal involving radiation leaks, deferred maintenance, etc., and nothing happened (a big-ass seawall would have done nicely).

Now it's believed that a 30-foot tsunami could hit any part of the Pacific or Indian oceans.

citta vritti's picture

Totally agree on fuck. Double fuck even. I have a friend there and like a hopeful, wannabe helpful moron, sent him the non-MIT, MIT-branded "Why I am not worried" article. Shit. 

Check out interesting article in NYT on 1970s' contemporaneous criticism of GE's BWR design (link below), indicating (if I remember correctly) pressures on regulators to approve less robust than desired design to satisfy cost cutting concerns (i.e., profits). 

I guess with things nuclear, a 40-year time horizon is not enough. Sure seemed long enough back then. Yikes.


DosZap's picture

Gee, I guess that old diddy, GE brings good things to life, doesn't apply here.

It was sub par NEW, and they knew it was.

GE, used to be a great American company, now its a wag dog for Immelt, kissing Owammmys ass, like a poodle.

Jaw Knee Cash's picture

GE to be specific. They "bring good things to" death.

Paul Bogdanich's picture

Brilliant.  Maybe you should work for the Federal Reserve or run for federal office.

johnQpublic's picture

even better....we can hire our own people to dismantle the houses, and then ship them to japan for quick reassembly


biwinning the future bitches

High Plains Drifter's picture

Is this called Californication?   (  Red Hot Chili Peppers)



10kby2k's picture

Where they going to work?   35 million more on full entitlements

Fantastic should declare your candicacy

Now if we could trade our 35 million in jail....................

SilverRhino's picture

Pretty sure they would displace illegal aliens in a heartbeat.   Would you rather have polite and hardworking Japanese neighbors with a penchant for gardening and a mania for order?  Or would you prefer illegal aliens that work their a$$ off, live 20 to a rental house and then drink an ungodly percentage of wages away and play mariachi music at fucking 3 AM for neighbors?  

JW n FL's picture

Sushi, gyo'za and / or any other food... dont forget they can bar-b-que..


I say open the Country to all of Japan, we could do a lot worse and they have been good friends.. after the dust settled..

chump666's picture

what is probably going to happen is Japan will repatriate all it's holdings on everything and draw money back into the country.

So, they won't fund Indonesia, Vietnam...and of course Europe and the US debt.  Should eventually send EZ and US into a fiscal hellstorm...and they'll just print, inflation overkill doomsday etc etc

Japan will just shut their doors and try and rebuild. 

Some historian was dropping that lowdown...not some dumb arse economist.

pamriallc's picture

Japan's GDP will gain in YEN terms from an adjustment of probably 5-6% negative from where it is today.  That's assured.  What's also true is that the country was unwittingly bombed into submission in WW2 much the same way Germany was  during the same timeframe.  Interestingly enough.....using Nazi Germany as an GDP numbers shortly after the end of WW2.

History is well on the side of GDP actually benefitting from the rebuilding and all of the ancillary business that comes from reconstruction, modernization, and efficiencies gained from the new Japan for many years to come.

Will they take GDP hits in the next two quarters?  Of course they will.  Does Japan's economy begin taking off in fits and starts as the rebuilding process brgins and China and intra-Asia trade begin to accelerate through a moderate global recovery in the next 4-5 years on top of that?  Of course.  More people equates to more GDP production.

Consider that the vast history which is written will far outweigh the current negativism which permeates Japan (from the outside) today.

Shawn A. Mesaros, Pamria, LLC

traderjoe's picture

Worship at the alter of GDP much? Maybe not everyone judges happiness and well-being through units of GDP.

And what will their debt look like after this magical reconstruction and recovery?

And maybe you could wait until after this all ends to give investment advice?

h3m1ngw4y's picture

This idea is great even without a jubilee.

If only China and Japan would be best friends. Lots of empty cities to dwell in.

Or perhaps the Chinese  have better foresight. Are Ghost cities built for a disaster like this?


mynhair's picture

How does this affect the Cowboy Poetry Festival?

Long-John-Silver's picture

We could bring over all the homeless Japanese Cowboys and let them kabuki for food and shelter.

Racer's picture

Yes, just like employing an army of window breakers to create employment for glaziers..

hmmm I thought that was called breaking and entering with intent to rob...


Stranded Observer's picture

At first I was going to smash out my own windows to stimulate the economy.  Instead I had a better idea and smashed out my neighbors windows instead.  He didn't see things quite the way I did.