SEC Admits Cluelessness About Market Crash After Intimate Meeting With Guilty Parties Who Refuse To Take Blame

Tyler Durden's picture

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Turd Ferguson's picture

This is all such a fucking joke, it can hardly be believed.

In this surreal, upside-down world, anything is now possible.

 

If you are an Average Joe, just trying to get by, saving for retirement or your kids' college education, GET OUT OF THE STOCK MARKET!!! The market is run by gangsters and thieves who will fuck you every which way to Friday. Oh sure, you might make a little bit of money if you happen to tag along for the ride on one of their manipulations. But, over time, you're gonna get bent over like a cheap, Las Vegas whore.

 

Invest in gold and your own, personal business. Everything else is a fuck job. 

Turd Ferguson's picture

Please excuse all the F-bombs. Just pissed. Fed up. Sick of the lies.

Hulk's picture

I drop the F-bombs too when I can't take anymore. Not proud of it, bit it does get the mental attitude at the time point across. If you ever figure out how to throw and break things over the internet, let me know. I am real good at that...

Unscarred's picture

All kidding aside, every commercial enterprise in our world is run by "gangsters and thieves who will fuck you every which way to Friday."  Everyone is out to break it off in you.  Even when the rare friendly soul extends their right hand to greet you with a smile, they're only doing so in a covert effort to pick your pocket with their left hand.  Better to decline the greeting, keep your left hand over your junk, your right hand over your ass, and your head on a swivel.

It just so happens that the stakes are infinitely higher in the world of global finance.

Trial of the Pyx's picture

"In this surreal, upside-down world, anything is now possible."

 

Anything, it would appear, except fair dealing, honor, or common sense.

Hephasteus's picture

If you stay in a fiat currency you're going to get screwed. They'll screw you in gold as long as they can.

But make no mistake. These systems are coming down. It's just a matter of if they can push people to more obfuscated, perception controlled existance or not.

Count your beans even though they've been replaced with poison drug capsules.

TheGoodDoctor's picture

Aren't there transaction logs? Can't they determine who did what based on that?

I mean really?

I'm with you Turd. I'm mad about 10 ways to Sunday.

Sisyphus's picture

 

<msacras>

Mr./Ms Fergusion, you are way too negative with your opinion. I think they should avoid gold like a plague and buy a house, no buy houses; heck help your neighbors to buy another house and then help his mistresses/mistersess buy another house. Home prices never go down. My BFF Ben and Barney said so.

"My advice to all Americans -- if you don't own a home today now's the time to buy one," Paulson said. "If you already own one, now's the time to buy another one. If you already own two, it's time to help your children buy a home."

A solid housing market should "cement" stronger-than-expected economic growth, Paulson said, forecasting GDP to expand 4% to 5% in 2011.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/european-debt-crisis-manageable-paulson-says-2010-05-10-144600?pagenumber=2

</msacras>

 

TheGoodDoctor's picture

My God I thought this was a joke at first! What a douchebag! Buying houses is the answer! Right in front of my fucking nose and I couldn't see it! Thanks Hank!

If he expects such great corporate earnings - just wait; after awhile once inflation hits my guess is those earnings won't be so great when the overtaxed, over fee-ed, no home buying, lazy, no job motherfuckers, can't buy the products from the American companies that they helped build with their jobs now gone overseas and the products being made overseas too. /sarcasm off

This time it is different.

Problem Is's picture

"Buying houses is the answer!"

Or As the brilliant Jesse once photo-shop quoted Obummer:

Jesses Cafe Americain

"Jobs? You don't need no stinkin' jobs! You need loans!"

"Is that what you wanted me to say, Ben?"

Votewithabullet's picture

Wrong Paulson. Both billionairs. One, mouth open, the other...not so much. In fact i'm looking for him...I want to vote for him...so to speak.

TheGoodDoctor's picture

My bad. I missed that. I could see that coming from Hank too. What does John Paulson have a REIT that he is looking to make some money on now? LOL.

Boop's picture

A contrary opinion: CHART OF THE DAY: The Overhang That Will Smother Any Housing Recovery

Gregory White and Kamelia Angelova | May. 10, 2010, 3:10 PM

Housing continues to be a serious problem for the U.S. economy with a tremendous amount of unsold overhang remaining in the system. This means that more than 7 million homes remain weighing down the market, due to bank's having repossessed them or the loans being in delinquency.

It's interesting to note, per this chart from Whitney Tilson's T2 Partners, this does not include new defaults, which are around 300,000 per month.

Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Thank you, I do invest in my own, personal business. However, my business is in the building trades, which has taken a substantial hit this past year. I'm thinking about getting out and buying a recession proof business; a bar.

Rainman's picture

I'd bet SEC could fuck things up less with a $ 5 billion budget. But you'd have to give me big odds.

Cistercian's picture

 They could always stimulate the economy thru their "download" activity.

williambanzai7's picture

Never underestimate the moronisphere.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I found the problem.

"....saw no evidence that a mistaken order caused the plunge...."

They're looking for something that's not there. There was no "mistaken order" thus there are no mistaken orders to find. Neither will they find something called "liquidity" if they decide they need to look for that because that too was missing last Thursday. You can't find what isn't there and you can't see what you're not looking for.

That was easy. Where do I send the bill?

ZerOhead's picture

Very astute observations as usual CD...

Seems there are a lot of things missing from the markets these days... don't forget transparency, regulation, level playing field, me...

timhinchliff's picture

Thats it alright CD. What we need is like that submarine sonar where they look for patches of water with no noise as thats where the baddy subs are. We just need to look at patches of market where nothing is happening. Thats where everything will be hiding, liquidity, mistaken orders, a strong economy, Lehman bros and all the bad trades I have ever made. It all makes sense.

Just remember: Nothing to see here.

Problem Is's picture

"Never underestimate the moronisphere."

The difference between an idiot and a moron?
The moron thinks he knows what he is talking about...

Between-ness Axiom #1

dumpster's picture

on a bell curve those in government service

are at the very end on the sorry side of the curve

dumpster's picture

especially the appointed ones.

they are there as a favor for a political donation,

wear good looking suits, ties ,  shine their shoes .

and spit  

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Yeah, TD is wrong in assuming the SEC is trying to find the issue.  They aren't.  They already know why the market tanked.

Problem Is's picture

Too much SEC porn downloading was hogging all the bandwidth pushing the HFT trading data right out into the street?

ZerOhead's picture

The timing is the giveaway...

Dr. Cordell's picture

Same attitude is kicking around NYSE Market Surveillance.  Tried as best I could to remove heads from asses, but it just didn't seem to take.  Friday's my last day, sorry everyone.

dumpster's picture

DR,, nice try

sorry to see some one go who had a clue,

 

Brett in Manhattan's picture

Whoever was responsible was aware of the circuit breakers and worked around them. At the NYSE, trading is halted after a 1050 drop, UNLESS it occurs after 2:30 then the drop increases to 2150 before trading is halted.

Didn't the drop take place at 2:40?

partimer1's picture

They really should listen to that panic audio from the pit.

tippy's picture

I don't think it was a computer glitch. A Black Swan event of unknown magnitude waiting to surface sounds about right.

 

Janice's picture

The banksters took it down, mafia style intimidation

Trial of the Pyx's picture

I am calling it a "weapons grade liquidity withdrawal demonstration"

 

WWIII, transnational capitol vs. everything

BlackBeard's picture

That retarded HFT girl that got torn up by Saluzzi about a year ago reemerges on CNBC:

 

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232/?video=1487363426&play=1

She is still incomprehensible and stupid sounding.

 

Oh yes, and Joe makes a guest appearance to stomp on her head yet again.

CPL's picture

Glad joe was in the thick of it.  The only thing that bugged me was the closing comment on her starting to blame people putting in a stop loss.  How is leaving instructions are a share now a captial offense?

 

It was interesting that nobody mentioned the blindingly obvious.

 

Turn off the HFT server racks and ban them outright.  This is "correction" number five in four years (1 in 2007, 2 in 2008, 1 2009 and now 2010).  Now we are waiting for glitch number 6.

CD's picture

Here is another gem from Sept. 2009 (!) from Ms. Irene Aldridge and Jon Stewart's crew:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-september-30-2009/cash-cow---high-frequency-trading

Some people you just can't get through to, no matter how many times the obvious hits them over the head.

Roger O. Thornhill's picture

I predict the final outcome is that Martha Stewart goes back to jail.

No point in dealing with the Goldman or JPM corruption.

Just put Martha back in jail. The public will be satisfied, and the casino can keep going strong.

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Or charge Mark Cuban again for putting up a bailout watchdog site.

JoshRoman's picture

Bingo -- "down 5 to 10% in a day"..."the bids just won't be there" (starts at 4:50)

 

Thalamus's picture

When you inflate something way above fair value you have to be prepared for Jack or Jill to start rolling off the hill in quick fashion. There's nobody obligated to buy a collapsing stock market except the PPT, who stepped in via its surrogate banks and propped things up at -982.

Nikki's picture

Is it a market if it run buy gangsters, computers and our government ?. It is passd time to scurry to the sidelines with whatever cash you have and order more bullion and brass. $1 Trillion reeks of a desparation move because it isn't working and they can't bear to try what is really needed. So they continue to socialize the losses and privitize the gains.

The biggest racketeering operation of all time. Generational theft and wealth transfer to the few.

wawawiwaa's picture

Everyone is so upset. Show you are really upset by: 

Taking your money out of the BANKS

OUT OF THE 401K Plans

RIP UP your credit cards

Pay off the mortgages

Refuse to pay 40k a year tuitions for which you need to get indebted 

Etc Etc 

That is the way to get upset: To not play the game. It is your money. 

How much money has anyone actually made from their IRA's 401 etc etc over and above the contributions? Probably nothing so just say no. 

 

The final thing would be to hold legislators accountable not these phony inquiries they organize. I am talking about holding people accountable to the law like for example when Rangel who writes the tax code messes up his tax returns. What was the Punishment. 

 

NOTHING and so it goes and so it goes. 

 

 

Jesse's picture

"...the SEC could be excused for not reading blogs or anything else that is not linking externally from www.transvestitemidgetporn.com."

OMG, your site is the wind beneath my wings.

ROFLMAO

Tripps's picture

folks, take your money out of the market if you can't handle it. saluzzi is right.....dangerous rigged game on one hand, dangerous illiquid game on the other.

 

 

Burnbright's picture

And then there is gold in someone else's hand.