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SEC Chief Information Officer Finds God, Quits Regulator To Become Deacon
Today's wtf moment of the day is brought to you by the SEC and god. In a stunning development, we uncover that the SEC actually has had a Chief Information Officer for the past two years (yes, we loled). In an even more stunning development, the SEC has disclosed that this CIO is leaving the organization, and has decided to join the metaphorical Goldman Sachs by doing god's work on earth... but not at 200 West, and is instead joining the church as a deacon. "The Securities and Exchange Commission today announced that Charles Boucher has decided to leave the agency after serving as its Chief Information Officer (CIO) since 2008. His plans include not-for-profit work and completion of studies in preparation for ordination as a Deacon in his church next spring." This is merely confirmation that Mr. Boucher must have been rather compromised when Chief Information Officering: he should know, as most other far dumber SEC henchman have figured out, that Goldmanliness is Godliness. Had he gone to Goldman, he would have already been promoted to Pope, in exchange for a few indulgences on behalf of the Abacus and Timberwolf sins, and have DMA access to High Frequency Communications directly to the One.
From the SEC:
As CIO, Mr. Boucher has managed all of the SEC's information technology programs and systems including application development, infrastructure operations, enterprise architecture, security, and user support. Mr. Boucher and his staff in the Office of Information Technology (OIT) work with the agency's divisions and offices to incorporate technology into all SEC programs to serve investors, maintain orderly markets, and promote capital formation. OIT operates the EDGAR system, which provides investors with access to millions of public company financial statements and other corporate filings. Among other information technology initiatives during Mr. Boucher's tenure, the agency began to revamp its systems for reviewing tips, complaints, and referrals.
"Effective securities regulation depends in large part on making sense of the immense volume of data generated in our securities markets. Charlie has played an important role in building a platform to implement our new system for reviewing complaints, tips and investigative leads provided by whistleblowers or other sources," said SEC Chairman Mary L. Schapiro.
"I regard my time with the SEC as having been among the most important and rewarding of my career. It has been an honor to contribute during these challenging times, and to serve with people of the highest caliber," Mr. Boucher said. "Our country, and the world, benefit from the leadership this agency is providing to reform and better regulate our financial markets, so that they continue to expand economic opportunities for all people, and so that investors are protected."
Before coming to the SEC, Mr. Boucher was an Executive Director at Morgan Stanley, and prior to that served as Senior Vice President and Chief Information Officer of Standard & Poor's. Among other earlier positions, Mr. Boucher was a Principal for Morgan Stanley, Vice President for Salomon Brothers, and Consultant Manager for Chase Manhattan. He received his BA in management from Rutgers University and an MBA in finance from Columbia University. He served in the U.S. Army Signal Corps in the early 1970s.
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The revolving door between government and corporations now apparently opens up on a stairway to heaven.
Wow aint you something....quoting George Carlin and playin like it's your own....
pathetic
lmao
God/destiny/karma/spirituality does exist though.
There is a perfectly rational version of karma and destiny that require neither god nor karma. If you are truly interested I will elaborate.
Can I get a "pathetic" too, please?
I made an unattributed reference to Led Zeppelin.
Some people need to get a life.
Gawd, I miss George...sniff.
Barrack is in the White House and is not invisible. Not always visible that is. If something happens which creates jobs for the unemployed he reappears and slaps an injunction or moratorium on that job creation which kills those opportunities fast.
If we only could get some defectors from the Church to go the SEC things might work out.
Deep thought for the day:
If "In God We Trust" was replaced by "In Bankers we Trust" on our currency, back in the day maybe we would not be in this mess today.
Speaking of currency. Have you seen the new 2010 penny? It has a shield with stars and stripes instead of the Treasury Building. I guess that emplies that the dollar is now backed by our military, not some dusty gold bars.
I sleep better at night knowing this.
"defectors from the Church"
Rather than NOT content filtering regular pr0n, they would have to NOT content filter the 12 year old boy pr0n.
Running the Catholic's HFT strategy?
High Frequency Tithing.
+10000
I second the motion!
Pure @#$%^&* genius!
LOL!
Nice...it's been a while since I've put a buck in the bowl.
+100
They sur e could use the help. The Church.
Being a deacon isn't that big a damn deal that it would require you to divert a lot of attention from a gubmint job.
Probably retiring to spend more time with our money.
God is a full time job.
+10,000,000
More likely retiring to avoid meeting God prematurely...
In the first sentence, shouldn't "god" be capitalized or was this brought to us by one of the lesser gods?
God, the invisible giant you turn to when you are about to die.
Ha, epic! I usually turn to Satan. Only turn to god when I'm shit faced beyond all recognition with my head half way down the toilet.
The godly "G" is capitalized ONLY when used in conjunction with Goldman Sachs.
why is that "L" in the first word?
We only capitalize it because there are other gods with other names.
If there were only one god, it would be silly then to capitalize it, especially if the god were real.
No caps because Marla don't truck with no deities.
Amen to that.
You cannot serve two masters. I'm just surprised he picked God over Goldman Sachs. The squid has more money than God. Literally.
speaking of squids, Goldman should come to the rescue of Paul the cepholopod who had a perfect 8 for 8 predictions in the World Cup. I'm sure he could make the transition to the conviction buy list for their clients.
Maybe some real guilt and repentance?
Being Catholic is a place somewhere between your family, the curch and one's guilt, followed by the inevitable hail mary's on the beads.
Hopefully he's of the grey robes and dumps all of his money into the church services so they get used for helping people.
The trojans and rootkits from the porn sites overwhelmed poor Charlie
He found a safe place. It beats being suicided.
True, dat.
When we look back 5 years from now (and we won't); this will probably be viewed as a very savvy move on his part.
Who will honestly remember him?
Remember who?
Yeah, that's the guy!
yea, safe and on the safe side of the confessional.
But there is no corruption. So nothing to see here folks, carry on.
It does beg the question about his replacement...
or whether Ms. Shapiro thinks they need one.
it's been rumored that a couple cats named Lucifer and Beezelbub were sitting outside Mary's office putting the final touches on their resumes.
Each hopes they measure up, but seemed nervous.
update: office gossip now says that the see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil threesome of chimpanzees are heading the official shortlist.
The optics of that are terrible!
NY AG should be all over this. Isn't GS under investigation?
Is he planning on malesting Blankfein? lol
You know the old joke about the assembly of 4 deacons? You'll always find a fifth.
Look busy Jesus is coming...
Shhhhhh, he's right behind you.
Oh Christ!
Ya know, maybe this dude had a "Damascus road" conversion after downloading all that porn?
Nah.
Obviously a "Bush Team" plant that was bordering on lunatic and finally dropped off teh abyss.
You should never have a CIO that believes in miracles. That's just asking for trouble, and a proliferation of Microsoft product.
+10000 -- LMAO
Poor Bastard probably saw the sin in his ways and is now trying to repent in an effort to get into heaven when the world ends in about 6 months
Contrition is a bitch. No sins are original at the SEC.
Wow what a beautiful story -
Executive Director at Morgan Stanley, Senior Vice President and Chief Information Officer of Standard & Poor's, Principal for Morgan Stanley, Vice President for Salomon Brothers, Consultant Manager for Chase Manhattan, SEC, then the Church.
Fucking perfect.
Machiavelli would be proud, I'm sure.
With the shit going on, I think Machiavelli would have been writting a deeper, edgier sequel. instead of "The Prince 2 - The Ruthless Strike Back", it would be simply named "Fuck you, I got your money bitch".
I like your line of thought. However The Mac was a cool character and too suave for anything as coarse as that.
I think he would call it "All the Wealth that God Commands" and have an entire chapter on the sanctity of being rich beyond earthly imagination, and another on the sacred mission from God to liberate all money from the simple minded.
Ayn Rand is that you. ;P
...Getting to thinking tho...as a fun fuck-around project for a bunch of writers it would be fun to toss something together.
Sir: Is that a direct challenge? I am intrigued.
Imma set something up, bitchez. Anyone wants to help re-write Machiavelli's "The Prince" (let's say ... 10 chapters at 1000 words each, you decide the chapter title and content, I edit for style) send your email to my anon drop at:
zh_does_mach[at]TempEmail.net
If there is interest I'll setup a wiki or similar for contribs to manage the content, edit online, then we can link to it when it's done.
Ah, to die poor but infamous. It is what Machiavelli would want.
Need contributions on the following suggested chapters:
-- Why the world needs lots of poor people
-- The importance of having all the wealth on the planet
-- The rich are just better people than everyone else
-- Why the rich like to touch other peoples' money
-- A hundred praises for the Prince's gold
-- The way to use debt to manage other people
-- The many virtues of debtor prison
-- Graft, corruption and their infinite beauty
-- Why having more money than God is the greatest piety
haha. this ought to be fun.
contribs: zh_does_mach[at]TempEmail.net
Done. We should do old school BBS style though. The never ending story where we pick up where the last author left off.
I remember this one thread in 88', it involved a door repair man on the Star ship Enterprise. Like Rosencrantz and Guildernstern (misspelling I know), he slipped between episodes as we watched them and we collectively ad hoced the life of "tim" the door repair guy...
The crash of 2008 was of biblical proportions. I cant say I blame him.
I gave up trading years ago for spiritual reasons, besides there is social good that comes of it, despite all that bs you learned in college.
I think I will contact my University and see if I can get a refund on Bachelors degree because finance turns out to be a FRAUD.
Do you think it will work?
Hmmmmmm...Maybe THIS type of church asylum is legally more effective than just entering a church and claiming asylum?
You know what they've done to defend priests until recently...
You mean like, maybe he DESTROYED all he records of what Goldman was short in 2008, and just in case , there ever is a witch hunt, for these bastards, he ll be looking , and claiming he found God?
One of the smarter of the pack.......
Mr. Boucher will still not be getting into Heaven. Nice try.
He's buying the Stairway to heaven.
Led Zeppelin can thank him for his continued support.
maybe he couldn't resist the sound of all that change plunking into the hat as it passed at church and the lightbulb went off.
Damn, that could be it!
Religion is a major growth industry when people don't have a damned thing left on this earth.
And by being a religion "insider" one could grab what's left in the final round of vacuuming out the masses, both during their stay here and by cleaning up their assets when they've moved on.
Well the "Eye of the Needle" does pose a bit of a problem...
He'll be RIDING THAT CAMEL straight through the needle's eye, sipping fruity-punches and reciting dirty limericks the whole way.
There are only a few professions that survive economic and societal catastrophe intact.
"Clergy" is absolutely one of them. Indeed, the power of the church (in all its forms) grows.
I'll go out on a limb and ponder that "government regulator" is way down on the list, right near "financial manager" and "US Senator".
Screwing people financially was insufficient.
Are his desires are more carnal in nature?
Perhaps he chose the catholic church over Troop Master.
That was probably too harsh. It is enough that he was an instrument for economic despair, we needn't layer on unsupported accusations of sexual perversion.
Fair is fair.
My avatar likes your avatar!
And along similar lines ... did you know that "pussy" is an archaic word meaning "soft"?
And gay used to mean happy.
If you called someone "gay and pussy" today, you'd get your head caved in. Times have changed. I don't know that it amounts to progress, however.
I would agree, a few have chosen the pedo route, some are Irish drunks (like myself) and enjoy the life of being a priest, most though I've met are officious pricks that could out lawyer a lawyer.
He was the CIO for crying out loud. I'm not exactly sure how the CIO screws people any more than, say, a bus driver.
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Sincerely,
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Central Accounting Security Hedge
69 Wall Street, New York, NY 10005
how many stamps should I put on the package of cash. Its all 10s and 20s.
Sorry thats all I got. Weed sales been slow these days.
OOOOhhhhh, three or four...
The three most dangerous professions: Soldier, Policeman, Altar Boy
AMEN brother.
This has been in the works for well over a year:
http://www.sjanj.net/rcan_deacon/summer09.pdf
Like the fiat currency says: "In god we trust."
He's joining the church of "what's happening now."
More than likely he read through a few pages of the pig that's called Dodd/Frank and realized the SEC would be working their butts off for the next couple years. All those damn studies! And who the hell can figure out what Dodd and Frank are talking about. He concluded he needed to spend more time with god; and his family; probably a good idea. Too bad the rest of us are stuck with this thing.
The Dodd/Frank bill is going to buy a lot of beach houses for DC attorneys and specialty lobbyists.
For the first time, reading Zero hedge comments, I have enjoyed almost every single one without any exception.
For a while, I thought that a strong devotion to God makes people humble and honest. However, reading this guy resume, I am having a second thought.
Does anyone know if they are looking to refill the position? If so, to whom can I apply? I like porn.
Also surprised he chose a god over Goldman. To paraphrase Babe Ruth, Goldman is having a better year. Being an ecumenical sort, I'd love to see some god---anybody's god---have 100% profitable trading days in a quarter. I don't think Zeus, Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus, Shiva, Yahweh or Bokanon even have a Bloomberg.
How many guys his age do you suppose there are at Goldman?
Paul the octo and the Vampire Squid are one and the same...
(ever seen them in the same place at the same time?)
Actually, Charlie was far too conservative for Ms. Shapiro. When Charlie stomped into her office to demand 2 billion dollars to build the worlds first yottabyte data storage centre that would consume more electricity than a large city and store all the worlds data (As of 2009 the entire internet was estimated to contain close to 500 exabytes), she yelled back that the freaking NSA is already doing that you idiot. Then Charlie broke down and started crying for Gods forgiveness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yottabyte
"Isn't that special?" - the Church Lady
Begining of Zeitgeist.
You will like this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYIC0eZYEtI
George kicked it just as life began to imitate in earnest so much of his art.
I think he was one of the lucky. To get out while all that crazy nonsense could still be honestly funny.
Now it seems most of our humor is from the gallows. Just say'n.
I wonder if he was the one who "high" prioritized the application threads at the SEC for "PORNO ONLY" viewing.
I wish one of these weasels would man up and just blow his brains out and spare us the sanctimonious BS that he has found God and wants to help the less fortunate....please.
...he just happened to be cleaning his gun.
Sounds like someone is trying to escape from a wad of lawsuits that will start to rock Wall Street. What better position to be in than Deacon of a Church when the suings start happening. Chief Information Officer of the SEC since 2008... WTF his hands are SO dirty.
um didn't they just pass a law stating they have to have 2 yrs out of industry before joining a firm they regulate? This must be the godly law stated by godly men.
Is my calendar wrong? Is it April 1st?
Don't confuse finding religion with finding God.
Man, standards have really deteriorated when someone who worked for the SEC can become a deacon
Not really. This is the Catholic church you're talking about.
Technically, it's more likely a Protestant denomination, since they're the ones with deacons.
Other than Deacon Blue who worshipped with Steely Dan.
Amen, Brother.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one true diety and he hates everyone equaly.
No wonder the SEC never gets anything done. The CIO didn't even realize the only "GOD" was actually his Wall Street bosses.....
He'll really be lost now......
MEET THY.MARKET MAKER
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/07/wonders-of-world-of-fraud_11....
Good luck, Charles Boucher!
Do not worry about US financial system: within coming 40 years God will punish bad people and will prepare the new world.
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