SEC Flash Crash Report To Restore Confidence, Cure Herpes, And Bring Back Elvis From The Dead

Tyler Durden's picture

Well, if there is anything the SEC is actually capable of doing, it is to market its worthless and corrupt old self. According to Reuters "the upcoming flash crash report will show that regulators have a "very deep understanding" of the marketplace, giving the public a measure of confidence, the head of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission said on Monday. "It will paint a very clear picture of how the markets operated on that day," SEC Chairman Mary Schapiro said in an interview, adding she expects regulators will issue the report "in the next several days." Well thank fucking god that the regulators will at least have an "understanding" of how $1.5 trillion in market cap was lost in the span of 15 seconds, and was immediately found again, courtesy of the New York Fed, and that we will once and for all know that HFT is nothing but a ravenous cancer deeply embedded in everything market related, that should have been chemo'ed years ago, when that hyperventilating fringe blog started discussing it (luckily, in less than 100 paragraph rambling and somnolent streams of consciousness). But no, the SEC decided to wait until 20 weeks of fund outflows have put a nail in the coffin of investor confidence. And, by the way, the SEC report will do absolutely nothing to change the public's perception of the market, as nothing at all will change. Because if it did, it would cause roughly $50 billion in annual revenue to evaporate, and the market lobby will simply not allow that. On the other hand, hanging HFT out to dry, will confirm that the SEC actually had a very "non-existent" understanding of the marketplace, for allowing HFT encroachment for so long. In retrospect, we take that back. The only thing the SEC can do to begin the act of restoring confidence in the marketplace is for everyone at the world's most worthless organization, from Mary Schapiro to the lowliest analyst, to hand in their resignation effective 2 years ago, when the greatest experiment in market manipulation began in earnest.

More from Reuters. Please try hard not to have an aneurism.

The May 6 crash knocked some 700 points off the Dow Jones industrial average before it sharply rebounded, all in about 20 minutes. No full explanation of the unprecedented breakdown has yet been given, stirring concerns among investors about the stability of the high-speed electronic marketplace.

"I think they will feel confident, and they'll feel confident that the SEC and the CFTC staffs have a very deep understanding of the markets as a result of this inquiry, and that we have some ideas on how to go forward," Schapiro said in the interview with Reuters Insider.

The SEC and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission will jointly issue the report. Schapiro said she still hopes to issue it this month.

Mary - RESIGNATION. NOW.