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SEC's Director Of Enforcement Jokes About HFT, Front Running, Algos, Calculus, A Black Box and Other... Stuff

Tyler Durden's picture




Fragment from a speech given by Robert Khuzami, Director, Division of Enforcement at the U.S. Securities And Exchange Commission.

    
Speech by SEC Staff:
Remarks Before the New York City Bar: My First 100 Days as Director of Enforcement

New York, New York
August 5, 2009

I. Introduction

Thank you, Pat, for that kind introduction. It's great to be back in New York. And I am grateful to the New York City Bar for providing me with this opportunity to talk about the Enforcement Division. There is lots to talk about.

As I was thinking about this speech, a colleague mentioned that I had been with the Commission approximately 100 days. Aside from making me wonder why my colleagues are counting, it caused me to pause and reflect — how did my 100-day accomplishments compare with those of others? That often over-weighted yardstick of accomplishment — did I measure up?

Franklin Roosevelt set the bar pretty high. In his first 100 days in office, he reopened failed banks under Treasury supervision; he established the FDIC; and he created extensive farm subsidy and federal jobs programs.

More recently, President Obama has also achieved impressive accomplishments in his first 100 days. First off, President Obama appointed a brilliant, experienced, and transformative leader of the SEC … and I'm not just saying that because Chairman Schapiro might read this speech. After that, President Obama passed the economic stimulus plan, funded stem cell research, took on the health care crisis and crafted a plan to withdraw troops from Iraq.

All that being said, I'm pretty proud of my own 100-day accomplishments. So how have things changed? Before I joined the Division in March, the Dow was struggling around 6500 points. Now the Dow is over 9200. So am I really responsible for a 41% increase in the Dow? I am, and I'd explain it, but it's very complicated. It involves algorithms, and calculus, and a black box and other … stuff. Now, when I ran this speech by my wife, she looked (kind of like some of you out there) a little incredulous. She said, "you're not claiming credit for the stock market, are you? While you're at it, are you also taking credit for the mild hurricane season or the sharp decrease in lethal shark attacks world-wide." Well I am, and I'd explain it, but it's very complicated. It involves algorithms, and calculus, and a black box and other … stuff.

Jokes aside, the Enforcement Division has accomplished much in the 100 days. This reflects a dedicated and talented staff as well as a reinvigoration of our core mission of investor protection. Before I describe some of these accomplishments, I need to make an important disclaimer — my views are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Securities and Exchange Commission or any member of the Commission staff.

and much more, although Zero Hedge stopped reading at this point.

h/t Matt




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Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:32 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

He's f*&%ing hysterical........ now it can be the Barry, Benny, Timmy, and Robby "Manipulated Stock Market" Variety Show...  wonder if they will have any dance numbers or just lame skits... maybe their guest host can be Lloyd Blankfein starring in a musical number called "It's Getting Less Bad Out There, Until China Stops Buying U.S.Treasuries, Then Watch How Quickly We Can Tank the Equity Markets".

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:17 | Link to Comment Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

Hey, Al Gore invented the internet.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:14 | Link to Comment ewmayer
ewmayer's picture

Ol' Al also invented the Al-Gore-ithm. Talented Fellow!

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:17 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

LMAO

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:45 | Link to Comment My cognitive di...
My cognitive dissonance's picture

And he made up Global Warming.

Sat, 08/08/2009 - 06:32 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:06 | Link to Comment rapier
rapier's picture

If it wasn't for Al Gore you would still think AOL was the internet. That might be going too far but it is possible to imagine the backbone being privatized to some extent and certainly the critical mass would have come much later.

How smart was Gore. He understood this thing 4 years before Bill Gates.

 

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:20 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:24 | Link to Comment Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

This was just a government mix up on the paperwork.  He applied for the comic relief job at the US Treasury, the papers were mixed up and the SEC called - it just so happens they were also looking for an enforcement director that would be "a joke".

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:30 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Somebody has something on everybody..

Just think of all the interesting things you know nothing about today that you might learn something about at some point in the future.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:03 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

I'll follow with my quote of the day:

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one,”
A.J. Liebling

Media 2.0 is our gift to the Gerbervores that have yet to wake up.

BTW, this site provides a 411 nexus for those that can work around the strictures.  I would ask that you consider using it.  I am sure that you are a someone that knows something that others can piece together into a clearer pic.

Best wishes.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:10 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

A successful intel or counter-intel operation is all about collecting 411.  Let the folks at the home office sort it out.  Remember, this thing called ZH is about all of us and what we can contribute.  It is good to know you fully appreciate the difference between an idea you are wed to and what you have witnessed in passing.  I rather suspect that there are others that share your frame of reference.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:41 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

i hope TD  presents that info to us ... oh, and thanks man ..

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:45 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:42 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Yep.  We are a combined arms force that understands the deep strike and the concept of a "go" strategy.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:48 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 00:13 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 16:15 | Link to Comment texpat
texpat's picture

I'll throw in this google news timeline. Marvel at the reluctance to countenance regulating 3 x US GDP in derivatives. Marvel at the BB shouting 'epic fraud' and being ignored.

http://newstimeline.googlelabs.com?date=1999-01-01&zoom=2&subs=anews.bro...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:43 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Especially when you may doubt yourself and what you have borne witness to.

Keep the faith and remain loyal to the institution of free markets.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:50 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 12:27 | Link to Comment EQ
EQ's picture

That's so fucking marvelous.  These pinheads in Washington are so aloof.  The world is going to wake their stupid asses up when the next bomb hits.  The cavalier arrogance of the bastards is maddening.  They haven't fixed a fucking thing.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:26 | Link to Comment FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

I'm glad you think your first fucking 100 days is such a smashing success, you worthless piece of shit. The taxpayers are getting ass-raped blind by the Wall Street bloodsuckers you're supposed to be watching and you're cracking fucking jokes about it? Guess what? Welcome to the list -- The Top Twenty Assholes To Be Drawn-and-Quartered After the Revolution. Fuck us all while you can, you little bitch. Dream about that Goldman Sachs job you're gunning for. We're watching.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:13 | Link to Comment Econocataclysm
Econocataclysm's picture

MORE BLOOD!!! MORE BLOOD!!! MORE BLOOD!!!

http://www.econocataclysm.com/1m-baseball-bats/

I'm down, yo. A million baseball bats on the Mall in DC? Try TWENTY-FIVE MILLION, that many people are out of work and the number is only growing because of these pricks and their "funny jokes". Joke's gonna be on THEM, though. Bankrupt government equals no cops to scare us into not showing up for this thing...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:31 | Link to Comment ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

what a piece of shit.  instead of giving speeches that asshole should be doing his fucking job.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:41 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:05 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Naawww...

He is one of those folks Jim Rogers is planing on using as ag labor...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:17 | Link to Comment Econocataclysm
Econocataclysm's picture

he IS doing his fucking job, unfortuantely his REAL job isn't what we're made to think it is.

His "job" is to run interference for these frontrunning assholes on behalf of the politicians they put into power while sniping off the occasional obvious case in a messy, public manner to make it look like the SEC is actually helping to stabilize the markets, in other words doing the job we THINK it's supposed to do. It's just a fucking con game, that's all, the part that convinces you the market is stable.

But it's mainly directed at Americans which is funny, because it's the Chinese they have to convince of the shit and they ain't buying it anymore...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:31 | Link to Comment FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

Only 2 bank faiilures today! Hurrah! Green shoots!

http://www.fdic.gov/

 

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:40 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:33 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:38 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

worthless piece of shit this guy is ... hey man if you are reading this i hope your wife caughts herpes from her meth dealer and you get it while you ass fuck her ... goddamn piece of SEC shit ..

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:39 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:09 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

CB- Don't worry.  His car is going to stall in the center lane of a busy freeway during rush hour.  After all, we do supply the folks that fix his car...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:20 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

ditto ... but this shit needs to go viral, i mean his speech, is there a recorded video of the speech so we put it on youtube ...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:25 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

No doubt!

BTW, I am sure you have noticed that these folks are doing a marvelous job of making our job easier.  They just cannot help themselves.  Like horizontal pillow talk.  Time to go fishing in the CEE barely legal community.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:30 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

you really have to wonder if their arrogance and total lack of social sensitivity is on purpose; to provoke some crazy sob who lost most of his money in the market to do something, so they can blame the blogs, and put a Cyber Czar as the superior emperor of tEh Int3rn3tz and monitor us .. would not surprise me ... oh and here's a book recommendation if you want something to read that suits this web-site ...  http://www.scribd.com/doc/15785269/The-Poker-Face-of-Wall-Street

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:48 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

I see it like this.  Sooner or later these folks will try and tell us something along the lines expressed in this letter. 

http://www.brotherswar.com/Fredericksburg-15.htm

Thanks for the excellent read.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:44 | Link to Comment SloSquez
SloSquez's picture

"Jokes aside," - then please step aside.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:50 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:08 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Before or after it was buried for BBQ?

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 18:54 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:01 | Link to Comment Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

He invented Dark Stanleys, Goldman Sach's preferred claw hammer for bashing ...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:03 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:05 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:08 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:03 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:19 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Steak
Steak's picture

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

"it's very complicated" is the refuge of all who must explain their fuckups to a very upset populace.  Granted in this context this jagoff was being facetious, but in my book this is enough to get him on my shitlist.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:33 | Link to Comment Pizza Delivery Man
Pizza Delivery Man's picture

Before anyone pops the Dom and takes credit for this rally. Here are some headlines from the last credit based recession. I do beleive there was some premature euphoria. I personaly find the Jan 21, 1930 quote particularly fascinating.

September 1929
There is no cause to worry. The high tide of prosperity will continue.”
- Andrew W. Mellon, Secretary of the Treasury.

October 14, 1929
“Secretary Lamont and officials of the Commerce Department today denied rumors that a severe depression in business and industrial activity was impending, which had been based on a mistaken interpretation of a review of industrial and credit conditions issued earlier in the day by the Federal Reserve Board.”
– New York Times

October 29 1929

Stock market crash

December 5, 1929
“The Government’s business is in sound condition.”
– Andrew W. Mellon, Secretary of the Treasury

December 28, 1929
“Maintenance of a general high level of business in the United States during December was reviewed today by Robert P. Lamont, Secretary of Commerce, as an indication that American industry had reached a point where a break in New York stock prices does not necessarily mean a national depression.”
– Associated Press dispatch.

January 13, 1930
“Reports to the Department of Commerce indicate that business is in a satisfactory condition, Secretary Lamont said today.”

– News item.

January 21, 1930
“Definite signs that business and industry have turned the corner from the temporary period of emergency that followed deflation of the speculative market were seen today by President Hoover. The President said the reports to the Cabinet showed  the tide of employment had changed in the right direction.”

– News dispatch from Washington.

January 24, 1930
“Trade recovery now complete President told. Business survey conference reports industry has progressed by own power. No Stimulants Needed!  Progress in all lines by the early spring forecast.”

– New York Herald Tribune.

March 8, 1930
“President Hoover predicted today that the worst effect of the crash upon unemployment will have been passed during the next sixty days.”

– Washington dispatch.

May 1, 1930
“While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced we have now passed the worst and with continued unity of effort we shall rapidly recover. There is one certainty of the future of a people of the resources, intelligence and character of the people of the United States – that is, prosperity.”
– President Hoover

June 29, 1930
“The worst is over without a doubt.”
– James J. Davis, Secretary of Labor.

August 29, 1930
“American labor may now look to the future with confidence.”
– James J. Davis, Secretary of Labor.

September 12, 1930
“We have hit bottom and are on the upswing.”
– James J. Davis, Secretary of Labor.

October 16, 1930
“Looking to the future I see in the further acceleration of science continuous jobs for our workers. Science will cure unemployment.”

– Charles M. Schwab.

October 20, 1930
“President Hoover today designated Robert W. Lamont, Secretary of Commerce, as chairman of the President’s special committee on unemployment.”

– Washington dispatch.

October 21, 1930
“President Hoover has summoned Colonel Arthur Woods to help place 2,500,000 persons back to work this winter.

– Washington dispatch.

November 1930
“I see no reason why 1931 should not be an extremely good year.”

– Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., General Motors Co.

January 20, 1931
“The country is not in good condition.”

– Calvin Coolidge.

June 9, 1931
“The depression has ended.”

– Dr. Julius Klein, Assistant Secretary of Commerce.

August 12, 1931
“Henry Ford has shut down his Detroit automobile factories almost completely. At least 75,000 men have been thrown out of work.”

– The Nation.

The following is a nice visual of the charts with some related quotes-

http://www.gold-eagle.com/editorials_01/seymour062001.html

In truth those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it

Sat, 08/08/2009 - 10:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 16:37 | Link to Comment texpat
texpat's picture

When you hear them talking about the ingenuity of the American people, you know you're f*cked.

Why not talk about what really counts, like the best weapons, biggest army, great strategic position, least regulated and most connected banking system etc.?

We know where the bodies are buried. We buried them.

Sat, 08/08/2009 - 20:33 | Link to Comment Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

Thanks for the delivery - excellent.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:32 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:01 | Link to Comment HankPaulson
HankPaulson's picture

yup, bingo

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:52 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:07 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:11 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:46 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 20:51 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:33 | Link to Comment Sigma X
Sigma X's picture

His comments are inappropriate and absurd of course.... But the one thing the SEC has done is help the short squeeze emerge as an ongoing theme.  Just ask anyone on a stock loan desk what's involved in borrowing AIG for instance.  If you cant borrow it, you cant short it.  And if you've shorted it without borrowing it (not that anyone would do that.......), you're probably considering closing out your position don't you think.  The only question I have for these crackerjacks is....If you've been holding this in your back pocket, and they had to be to some degree.. see deep capture, why wait till now to play your ace and ramp this market.  Might have stopped this market in its collective tracks as everyone was shorting financials last year....  They had to know this was going on, why the wait?

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:30 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:50 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 01:47 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 11:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 14:56 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

Weiss is that you?

Sun, 08/09/2009 - 00:51 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:34 | Link to Comment SloSquez
SloSquez's picture

Where's Marla.  I'm ready for Marla.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:54 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

SEC Staff: Majority of male lawyers are Homosexuals and the women are just ugly skanks.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 21:54 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:07 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:14 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Speak for yourself, When Mary Madoff Shapiro was appointed, EVERYBODY knew she would continue her SIA agenda...

http://www.rrbdlaw.com/2002/Q3/NASDPR/prcmtelist.htm

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:26 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

Tyler when I first read this I thought you were joking.

 

Now I am actually pissed.   What a fucking disgrace.

 

 

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 22:48 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

PM: It's supposed to be broken...you don't bite the hand that feeds your Master. The Bitch who let Madoff run his Ponzi left and joined a white shoe lawfirm who opened a DC office representing white collar criminals for serious $$$$....No conflict, just business as usual...

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:05 | Link to Comment Econocataclysm
Econocataclysm's picture

Yeah, Goldman's frontrunning assholes are going to be taking Christmas in the Bahamas on the Taxpayer's dime, meanwhile we'll be doing Christmas eating cold beans from a can in a tent city... IF WE'RE LUCKY.

It's all a big funny joke to these people, hoo hoo ha ha ha.

Kill them. Kill them all.

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:11 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

more blood, more blood, more blood !!!!!!!

Fri, 08/07/2009 - 23:37 | Link to Comment Econocataclysm
Econocataclysm's picture

Soon, very soon... I can smell it already...

The Black Freighter approaches the SEC building, waiting to collect the only booty it really cared about...

THIS MAN'S ETERNAL SOUL!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sat, 08/08/2009 - 00:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 01:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 02:19 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 08:01 | Link to Comment Power_Animal
Power_Animal's picture

Slide

Sat, 08/08/2009 - 09:46 | Link to Comment zeropointfield (not verified)
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 15:17 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 21:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/08/2009 - 18:29 | Link to Comment JohnKing
JohnKing's picture

I think I'll just re-iterate what Cramer thinks about SEC enforcement:

Bull!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!