This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Stress Test Leak Update (And An Update To The Update)
Update: Comments from Spain's Salgado taken out of context according to a Spanish official. Appears a caja or two will be sacrificially thrown to the lions after all. The Farce must go on!
- All Spanish banks pass stress tests
- All French banks pass stress tests
- Pretty much all Greek banks pass stress test
HA HA HA
The farce will continue until bullshit flows freely
»
- 7797 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Confirmed: All world governments and regulators have ZERO credibility!! But this is NOT new information and should not affect the markets unless fools are those investing.
"Investors fear the test, based on CEBS' largely unpublished guidelines, has not been applied to the same standard at each of the 91 banks in the exercise."
http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKTRE66I3VQ20100719
Ummmm Hypo failed - hence the euro triangle from 1.297 to 1.303 and back in less than an hour...
The markets love the results thus far. EOD may be a different story though. "To the moon Alice".
This seems about perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=3iDl2zwF8TM&feature=related
"where life is beautiful all the time!"
I was wondering what lie they were going to tell to stop the selloff.
temporarily halt, not stop....
They tell the lie to provide cover for their actions.
Is this an actual leak or just a joke article mocking the stress test? If this is a leak of the actual result, then Europe is stupid. At least fail a couple of banks in each nation so it seems the test wasn't rigged.
actually, **this** leak is seeping methane gas about 2 miles out from source of the stress test.
+1000
I'm pretty sure I just personally failed my own stress test on this news. Time to get away from the computer and go eat some pork carnitas. Yes, it is 9:30 am my time, and no, that's not too early to eat pork carnitas.
I know just the place in South San Francisco... but you'll have to stand in line.
it's never too early (or late) for carnitas! - try the tacos al pastor too - they are the shit (depending on where you get them) - I'd recommend most of the trucks in L.A.
Off topic: Don Picos in San Mateo. They open at 11:00 a.m. for a late breakfast.
If you're in San Mateo, Pancho Villa Taqueria's Salmon Tacos...
How dare you imply that the market will retest it's March 2009 lows?!?!?!?
This is GREAT NEWS. Take this as another chance to GTFO of this market.
welcome back Andy
This will ensure failure on epic scale.
That is already ensured. This is just butter frosting.
How true, sorry for being out of context
Yes. Take a look at the daily chart on the ES. If you don't have time, it looks a lot like this:
http://maaadddog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shit.jpg
Actually, it is strongly bullish. Not the statement itself, I'm sure we can all agree that is absolute bollocks. But the simple fact is that the ECB will now have to back up every bank in the Eurozone, and that means free money for the bankers.
yeap
reflation gaining favor in the other senior economies? Hmmm does the dollar get a relative bump here?
Huraaay! We're saved.
lol bloomberg news update :
*SALGADO STRESS TESTS COMMENTS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT: OFFICIAL
:)
off topic.
has BDI bottomed out at this level?
either flat or creeping up green like slugs after a summer's rain.
Well it has been flowing freely up to this moment, why would it stop now :)
(btw i find dem captcha math questions getting harder :S)
The farce will continue until bullshit flows freely
it's been flowing freely since 1933
?? You seem to imply that there was a hitch in flow in 1933? Pray tell we had a FED/IRS in 1913, An Civil War in 1861, A War in 1812, and a Revolution in 1776, and a CONsitution to pay for the debts from that War in 1783.
And so I just don't see the impediment.
April 5, 1933 the United States went off the Gold Standard domestically.
tsk tsk it twas fractionally reserved at that point and therefore doomed.
And the [F]intheh[E]a[D] had been sending it overseas in trainloads to pay for its promsiary notes. So let's get back to 1913 in one swoop. Then we can move further back!
re bank stress tests
all banks all over the world are safe all the time always.
GS ... payback is a bitch and your profits suck!
"Pull the other one."
Check out the IBEX at the moment. The only Euro Index in green and mostly on the back of the Banks.
Alright boys, we're saved. Trichet: you paying for the strippers?
How do you say "Les Nessman" in Russian?
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100720/tts-russia-accident-animals-offbea...
"It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the Hindenburg tragedy has there been anything like this!"
somewhere Tim Geithner is smiling....
Temporarily, IMO.
On the principle that the market doesnt fall for the same trick twice, I think the smart trade is to sell the news.
Years ago when I was raising cattle I hired a temp "cowboy" to assist in preping the stock for movement from summer to winter pasture. This "cowboy" had a stubborn steer who would not get into the chute for tagging and delousing. This "cowboy" got down behind the steer and hit it under the tail with a cattle prod. Let me tell you, bullshit flowed FREELY and all over the "cowboy".
"The farce will continue until bullshit flows freely."
Sounds like a new definition of "official" diarrhea.
the stress test: We leaned against the bank wall and it did not fall down. Then we tried to push the wall and it did not move. Then we threw snowballs at it, and it remains standing.
We should all get ready to be fed more and more credibility sapping news from the MSM.
How much will these saps take? That is the goal.
I really wonder what the number of individual investors actually invested in this market looks like? Falling like a stone?
Here in India, the MSM will have us continue to believe the "India Shining" story.
Ugh!
ORI
http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com
I liked the Indian dust & darkness, capitalism & light analogies.
The Indian example shows how disconnected the West has become. Made me think.
Really glad to read that walkure.
Made you think = Blog goal!!!!
ORI
http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com
Obviously some banks are more equal than others , there are lies damn lies and bank stress tests.And the Sun shone down and they all lived happily ever after.
Theres an App for this and its called b******t.
COF is FDIC.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Tim Geithner and his ideas are pure brilliance. He is up there with Einstein, Mozart, Hawking etc.
Geithner's "stress test" ideas have saved the world.
The europeans learn pretty quickly don't they?
Whatever happened with that investigation in to GS for lying about the state of Greek finances
There was no SEC involvement.. hence no settlement cash.
GS looks like a great short here.
Nobody likes them. Nobody trusts them. They're losing money and magic.
Their list of enemies grows. Enemies that hate them so much, they would form an alliance against GS.
Capitalism hasn't been this raw for a long time.
This takes us right back to the dark ages of blood and guts strategy games.
Goldman Sachs increasingly reminds me of Israel.
Hated by 99% of the world..........check
Acting in a completely arrogant and destructive manner with utter disregard for international law and morality..........check
Fiendishly clever at exploiting systemic weaknesses for its own gain..........check
Able to survive only under the beneficent protection of the U.S. government..........check
I may have to start referring to Goldman Sachs as that "Shitty Little Firm." LOL.
Pavlov's dogs got you junked.
MK works.
This what DER SPIEGEL means by "Culture of Corruption""
FWIW
FTD is running a story on how the DOLLAR is not a safe haven.
Let the chips fall where they may.
The end of an era is here. Each fiat for themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhCyYjKu2Vo
I've had enough of these parasites.
MISSION STATUS UPDATE 4
"I'M PICKING UP A FAINT TRANSMISSION SERG'"
"SIR,THEY ARE ORDERING US TO CLEAR THE AREA"
"OK, GOT THAT SOLDIERS"
"I WANT THIS ENTIRE AREA EVACUATED "
"NOW,MOVE IT MEN"
"SGT.TYLER INITIATE COUNTDOWN"
"NUKE THE WHOLE F***** PLACE"
http://www.thecolektr.com/Pestmaster.jpg
The longer the bullshit lasts, the less it smells.
Proof positive that bank supervision is a religion.
Proof that the dollar is a religion. If you don't need it, they are doomed.
Phew...that was close. I am so glad we are all safe and sound. The next round of booze is on the IMF!
I wonder if they will regret going down this path (the stress tests) at all. No one in their right mind actually believes that all of the Euro banks could pass. So, it's been even more farcical than our own. Which perhaps means no one believes it, and their credibility (if there was any) is even lower.
I have to say it!!!
May the Farce be with you
:-)
i feel a tremor in the farce.....
Must be "The Farces of Evil"....
I feel a disturbance in the farce. Hmmmmmm.
Timmay, use the farce, use the farce...
This is a big pushback from The Efficient Market Hypothesis crowd. Things fix themselves!
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
They will try and use this fake test to make everthing all better. Why can't they just leave our markets alone. The Dow should be trading at 2000, but no we can't have that, so the fed gives free money to Goldman and JP Morgan to prop everthing up, it's all a FRAUD!
and yet.. GS profits drop 82% ..
You need to stop drinking in the morning - there is something that's called fair value. Dow wouldn't trade at 2000 even if all the banks failed and we had no qe. The break up value of its components would still top 2000...
No, the DOW's fair value is below 400. The banks will fail and most of the companies will go bankrupt as the money supply is collapsing. Fair value is an oxymoron. All ponzi schemes have one mathematical outcome-collapse. Deal with it.
And no one is fooled, so what is the point?
The thinking today is prop up the market today, and then after the close Apple will save the bulls.
now that they passed the stress test, can we just fill them with mud and put a cap on it?
Unknown substances are seeping from the well head. Can you see the bubbles? There could be Geithner gases.
maybe we should drill into their sides...just to be safe
First let's try to shove Bernanke, Geithner, Summers, shredded tires, golf balls and Abacus Offering Circulars down there.
LOL, youz guyz are funny
US and EU stress tests mark the end of the Market Fundamentalist era. This will be taken as proof that governments must step in to right the markets which can't survive without government support.
It was just reported US banks are holding back from marketing foreclosed homes all over the nation that are above $300,000 to avoid big losses. So how meaningful were the the US bank stress tests with this kind of Alice in Wonderland thinking ?
Sure most will know its all a lie, but the Federal Reserve with there friends at Goldman & JPM will manipulate the stock market via SP 500 futures to paint the picture that everything is dandy.
All to suck in the greedy. Trouble is the public has seen this dog and pony show once to many times over the past decade. So who are the suckers now, who will step in at the top?
IMO, too much riding on the market behind the scenes (i.e. pension funds, 401ks, etc.). If this market drops too much too fast, it will be a serious clusterf**k. Primary 3 is going to be a fist-fight I think. The BS is bound to reach extremes along the way. Pure theater.
The taxpayer will. Whether he/she wishes to, or not. Should be clear by now that TPTB need more time to get their affairs in order before the great reckoning, and are desperately using your money to play for time...
I'm trying and failing to fake a surprised look on my face ... was anyone expecting the results to be anything else but passing grades for all?
Gold hit piece in CNBS:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/38314447
Anyone know why it looks like someone shoved a rocket up oil prices ass? It just went ballistic.
11.30
Timber!!!
Guess some of you remember this one, from last year:
"Finance minsters today claimed that Europe's major banks would be able to withstand “a severe macro-economic deterioration”, following the publication of core findings from an EU-wide stress test."
"Jean-Claude Trichet, the president of the European Central Bank, said the test was based on a “very harsh” scenario. “Our [banking] system is resisting in a way that is reassuring,” he said"
http://www.europeanvoice.com/article/2009/10/europe-s-banks-pass-the-str...
I already looking forward to next years stress test, and the establishment of EU's new "Stress Test Agency."
What's reality today anyway? Does anyone know? Does anyone care? The dam keeps getting higher and higher and shakier but it is still there, so some folks think this process can go on forever. Reminds me of the old joke about the man who attempted to train his donkey not to eat. After 30 days, he thouight he had succeeded but just then the damned thing died on him for some reason. Seems that many of us are roughly on that level w.r.t economics/finances, etc.
But Monsieur EU you must try this wafer thin mint! It will just complete your repast with such delicacy and refinement! It is not to be missed!
STRESS TEST OPTICAL TEST Part 1
What do you see here....
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lHWsvOdCjnc/R-ze5SKIvzI/AAAAAAAAAuQ/cFQORpSZCG...
I e-mailed your link to my 83 year old mother and asked her what she saw. And hour later I picked up my phone and immediately heard my mother yelling at me. She gave me an ear full of cuss words for 30 seconds before I could get her to stop and look at the picture again. Then I told her to pull her mind out of the gutter.
I haven't heard my mother laugh that hard in years. :>)
THEY ARE ALL BUSTTTTTTTTTTTT
Resistance is futile. The same "prize" is behind door number 1, 2 and 3.
IF you said a lamp, you fail the test.
See my response above. My mother saw a "dirty" picture. :>)
I guess it's a slow news day, or everyone is watching Linsay Lohan going to jail!!! Ahh America!
Everybody turned off the news. They all got sick of counting how many times MSM could use the words racist and teaparty in the same sentence without being able to actually relate the two.
and freely shall it flow indeed...i hear the shit winds blowing through the trees.
No matter how much you cover up bullshit... in the end its still bullshit.
our "Stress Test" saw the Big Banks make huge gains
rarely mentioned are these massive Gains, which took all of 3 months to make, some Examples: BAC went from a Low of an exact 3.00 to 15.00+, this 5-fold increase, a 400%+ Gain, makes the return of any TARP Funding a pittance, Citi, C, only went up about 4-fold, from the March Low of 1.00 / 0.99 to 4.41 by May 7---all that in 3 months
and remember that both BAC & C had the CEO's had made an unusual comment, Pandit first in the first week on the Orchestrated Run-Up, about C's first 2 months ogf the QTR being great for earnings, with BAC's Brown repeating the same script 2 days later
----the thing is; this gives the whole Show "Cover", just like other Bank analysts recommending their cousin Banks-----FAS & FAZ were put to Max use by emplying Optios on these 3xthe move ETF's
and overlooked entirely, even up till now, is the massive Gains the Individuals made in their own accounts. we only hear about the great QTR's, day after day with Winning Trades, Zero losers, huge bonuses, etc.....but nobody dares mention the individual Profits, their personal accounts....imagine Parlaying the Bonus on correctly placed Options on FAS & FAZ, both ways. Selling & Buying...don't you think these guys Trade in their own accounts, imagine front-running the front-runners
I take it that the "stress test" goes along the lines of:-
"Hello, are you a bank?"
"Yes!"
(PASS)
So the Stress test cometh.
Stress = Pressure applied.
Test = Measurement of stress applied.
Stress test Inspector = A person who will do as he is told and will not upset the applecart.
Stress tested bank = Bankrupt,insolvent,without capital to cover debts,totally indebted,full of freshly printed fiat currency that is owed to someone else.
Lies it might all be, but Mr Market is being primed well by the ECB/Squiddies to make a run up into new highs for the year, witness how a single stock, Apple, turned a plunging market around as every single macro economic data pointing to negative GDP in coming quarters. The same Apple who really should be plunging to the abyss by now the way the IPhone 4 PR tuend into a disaster as Steve Jobs incredibly made allegations about other brands' RF performances in excusing itself from its fuck-up - how Apple's team of lawyers could have approved this neglecting potential law suits is a mystery.
Let's stop mincing words and just call it the HappiTest. Because 'Stress' just doesn't cut it.
Like in, if you're stressed out after a day of productively sitting at the HFT terminal just take the HappiTest, and all will be well.
HappiTest - the financial mood enhancer. Ask at your local trading house now!