Suspicious Man In Inflatable Boat With Unknown Device Chained To Neck Close To Surrey, VA Nuclear Power Plant Scrambles Bomb Squad, Sniper Team

Tyler Durden's picture

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Rahm's picture

DSK got released already?

Ted K's picture

I was thinking it might be an attempt for campaign publicity by Newt Gingrich.  He opens the box and a flag comes out which says "Boom!!".  Then says "My third wife told me this gag wouldn't work".

bigdumbnugly's picture

Ty-D-Bol guy's GPS malfunctioning.  No worries...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DC_M2VgfVA

 

 

Ahmeexnal's picture

Al Gore and his "lock box".

Fukushima Sam's picture

Was he masturbating?  Could just be a fetish...

legal eagle's picture

Probably John Edwards.  He was looking a tad distraught the other day.

tonyw's picture

nah, "He said they have tried talking to the man, and that he is coherent and lucid at times, but that it does not last for long." he's probably a Merican:-)

Mad Max's picture

Sounds like every member of Congress, except the ones who are never coherent or lucid.

MiguelitoRaton's picture

I hope that isn't Gore's lockbox with our social security money, or we're all in deep shit.

Wynn's picture

All is well

The terrorist has been apprehended.

"The Coast Guard says the box turned out to be full of wet sand."

http://www.wtkr.com/news/wtvr-man-has-suspicious-device-near-surry-nucle...

blunderdog's picture

I hope they're testing that sand for anthrax.

Dapper Dan's picture

I just thank god for the men and women in uniform who are ordered to guard us from dangerous meneses like this, and that is why I feel so strongly about regulating or banning sand and rubber boats.

If the tight wads in Washington would free up more money, we could properly combat this sort of threat.

TheGoodDoctor's picture

Yes I demand a committee investigation immediately! If there isn't one, form it. And fund it. Job creation! /sarcasm off

blunderdog's picture

At this time, we are unable to confirm or deny that this was a retributive response to the recent actions of North Carolina in enacting a highly-repressive ban on the serving of rare meat in restaurants.

Intelligence is still being gathered...

RafterManFMJ's picture

Sea sumpin', say sumpin'

ADirtyChapCalledWanker's picture

Richmond will rise again! Errr...

Ancona's picture

Instead of dropping him with a bullet that costs less than a dollar, we will spend hundreds of thousands on capture, court and "treatment". All at public expense.

ADirtyChapCalledWanker's picture

Lolwut? Prez Obama? Izdatchu?

drink or die's picture

High-quality rifle ammo can cost as much as $5/round.

 

Just sayin.

JW n FL's picture

$5? try $10 - $15 and well beyond for the really good millitary stuff!

 

redpill's picture

Fuck it, might as well use a Tomahawk.  If it's good enough for the Libyans, it's good enough for our own domestic terrorists.

 

Rodent Freikorps's picture

That would make an awesome video.

jeff montanye's picture

i'm curious why riding in a rubber boat with a box of wet sand chained to one's neck while intermittently lucid merits death.  just asking.  i realize our fearful leader claims unlimited power in this area as he is a (former) constitutional law professor.

fajensen's picture

Yep - Tomahawk crashing on top of rubber-dingy and exploding a full second before impact like proper American-made vehicles does. Make it stealth so it will crash harder ;-)

Confuchius's picture

JW

The "really good stuff" the military has never heard of.

And will never have.

SheepDog-One's picture

Right, if you see a guy in an inflatable dingy, first response should be a sniper bullet to the head. 

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

SheepDog-One

Don't worry. It's just me. The black box has my lunch in it.

(H/T to WilliamBanzai7)

Cui Bono's picture

SheepDog Johnson and the DotnotFeather Guy are right!  I'm especially glad the kids here were able to hear this as well.  Not only was it solid ZH dark humor gibberish, but they managed to respond without resorting to /sarc tag.

 

Kidding aside I sure as hell hope it was just morbid jesting you rebuked.

falak pema's picture

he looks the lean and hungry type...ideal target!

gall batter's picture

I recognize this guy.  Had a blind date with him.

macholatte's picture

cute. enjoyed it.

But why is crap like this "news" report from NBC even on ZH?

Oh regional Indian's picture

Just what I was thinking SD1. And then you got a junk.

I tell ya, between seeing how many regulars here listen to Rush and comments like this.... maybe the only ads needed on ZH are NRA and Glock? Eh? 

Kill the guy indeed, jungle justice, coward style.

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/hey-america/

Alex Kintner's picture

There was a 'skin head' type on a thread this morning saying the source of all US problems is "civil rights" (for blacks). They are all here -- all the nutjobs -- mingling with the sane.

trav7777's picture

not all problems but many.  The entire diversity movement has been an unmitigated disaster.

blunderdog's picture

Angela Merkel?  Is that you?

Nice tits!

ceilidh_trail's picture

  Why wouldn't you just shoot the raft and make him swim for it???

Sophist Economicus's picture

Agreed, that's just how they fish in VA.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Excuse me, but dynamite is the preferred method in VA. We learned everything we know about fishing from our friends in North Carolina.

pods's picture

Haha.  CD, we just fish smarter down here instead of harder.

My uncle in the NW was telling me they go by the name of "Dow Spinners" out there.

:)

pods

Wynn's picture

Eat fish taken from the James river at your own peril. Back in the 80's some nice little company up in Richmond dumped tons of toxic kepone in the river. Its still in the river bed.

Between Surry (no e) and Jamestown, the only way across the river is by ferry. They won't build a bridge because they don't want to stir all that crap up.

 

 

Go Galt. Please.'s picture

Kepone Factory
Dead Kennedys
In God We Trust, Inc.

I finally found a job in a paper
Movin' barrels at chemical plant
There's shiny-looking dust on my fingers
Goin' up my nose and into my lungs

It's the Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
At the grimy Kepone Factory
Turning people into bonzai trees

Now I've got these splitting headaches
I can't quite get it up no more
I can't sleep and it's driving me crazy
Shake all day and I'm seeing double

Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
Grimy Kepone Factory

Gonna go down your big metal building
Gonna slam right through your bright metal door
Gonna grab you by your sta-prest collar
And ram some Kepone down your throat

The lawyer says "That's the breaks, kid
Gonna gnarl and rot the rest of your life
If you don't sue, we'll give you a Trans-Am
That I'll never drive 'cause I shake all the time"

'Cause of the Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
Grimy Kepone factory

HamyWanger's picture

Probably a disgruntled silverbug.