Suspicious Man In Inflatable Boat With Unknown Device Chained To Neck Close To Surrey, VA Nuclear Power Plant Scrambles Bomb Squad, Sniper Team

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Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:05 | 1295963 Rahm
Rahm's picture

DSK got released already?

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:21 | 1296043 Ted K
Ted K's picture

I was thinking it might be an attempt for campaign publicity by Newt Gingrich.  He opens the box and a flag comes out which says "Boom!!".  Then says "My third wife told me this gag wouldn't work".

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:22 | 1296298 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

Ty-D-Bol guy's GPS malfunctioning.  No worries...



Fri, 05/20/2011 - 15:09 | 1296443 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Al Gore and his "lock box".

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:31 | 1296316 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Was he masturbating?  Could just be a fetish...

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:26 | 1296055 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

Probably John Edwards.  He was looking a tad distraught the other day.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:36 | 1296082 tonyw
tonyw's picture

nah, "He said they have tried talking to the man, and that he is coherent and lucid at times, but that it does not last for long." he's probably a Merican:-)

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:40 | 1296110 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

Sounds like every member of Congress, except the ones who are never coherent or lucid.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:52 | 1296183 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

I hope that isn't Gore's lockbox with our social security money, or we're all in deep shit.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:03 | 1296231 Wynn
Wynn's picture

All is well

The terrorist has been apprehended.

"The Coast Guard says the box turned out to be full of wet sand."

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:14 | 1296262 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I hope they're testing that sand for anthrax.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:31 | 1296317 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

I just thank god for the men and women in uniform who are ordered to guard us from dangerous meneses like this, and that is why I feel so strongly about regulating or banning sand and rubber boats.

If the tight wads in Washington would free up more money, we could properly combat this sort of threat.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:36 | 1296340 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Yes I demand a committee investigation immediately! If there isn't one, form it. And fund it. Job creation! /sarcasm off

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 15:21 | 1296504 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

At this time, we are unable to confirm or deny that this was a retributive response to the recent actions of North Carolina in enacting a highly-repressive ban on the serving of rare meat in restaurants.

Intelligence is still being gathered...

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 16:59 | 1296755 Rick64
Rick64's picture


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 17:38 | 1296843 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Sea sumpin', say sumpin'

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:09 | 1295969 ADirtyChapCalle...
ADirtyChapCalledWanker's picture

Richmond will rise again! Errr...

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:09 | 1295973 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Instead of dropping him with a bullet that costs less than a dollar, we will spend hundreds of thousands on capture, court and "treatment". All at public expense.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:10 | 1295981 ADirtyChapCalle...
ADirtyChapCalledWanker's picture

Lolwut? Prez Obama? Izdatchu?

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:08 | 1295988 drink or die
drink or die's picture

High-quality rifle ammo can cost as much as $5/round.


Just sayin.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:28 | 1296066 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

$5? try $10 - $15 and well beyond for the really good millitary stuff!


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:39 | 1296105 PlausibleDenial
PlausibleDenial's picture


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:55 | 1296185 redpill
redpill's picture

Fuck it, might as well use a Tomahawk.  If it's good enough for the Libyans, it's good enough for our own domestic terrorists.


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 15:27 | 1296512 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

That would make an awesome video.

Sat, 05/21/2011 - 03:40 | 1297787 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

i'm curious why riding in a rubber boat with a box of wet sand chained to one's neck while intermittently lucid merits death.  just asking.  i realize our fearful leader claims unlimited power in this area as he is a (former) constitutional law professor.

Sat, 05/21/2011 - 05:23 | 1297840 fajensen
fajensen's picture

Yep - Tomahawk crashing on top of rubber-dingy and exploding a full second before impact like proper American-made vehicles does. Make it stealth so it will crash harder ;-)

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 19:35 | 1297008 Confuchius
Confuchius's picture


The "really good stuff" the military has never heard of.

And will never have.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:13 | 1296007 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Right, if you see a guy in an inflatable dingy, first response should be a sniper bullet to the head. 

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:37 | 1296079 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture


Don't worry. It's just me. The black box has my lunch in it.

(H/T to WilliamBanzai7)

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:38 | 1296095 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:13 | 1296254 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

SheepDog Johnson and the DotnotFeather Guy are right!  I'm especially glad the kids here were able to hear this as well.  Not only was it solid ZH dark humor gibberish, but they managed to respond without resorting to /sarc tag.


Kidding aside I sure as hell hope it was just morbid jesting you rebuked.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:15 | 1296265 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

damn ..............

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 16:43 | 1296716 falak pema
falak pema's picture

he looks the lean and hungry type...ideal target!

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 23:44 | 1297503 gall batter
gall batter's picture

I recognize this guy.  Had a blind date with him.

Sat, 05/21/2011 - 01:29 | 1297697 macholatte
macholatte's picture

cute. enjoyed it.

But why is crap like this "news" report from NBC even on ZH?

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:43 | 1296126 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Just what I was thinking SD1. And then you got a junk.

I tell ya, between seeing how many regulars here listen to Rush and comments like this.... maybe the only ads needed on ZH are NRA and Glock? Eh? 

Kill the guy indeed, jungle justice, coward style.


Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:02 | 1296227 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

There was a 'skin head' type on a thread this morning saying the source of all US problems is "civil rights" (for blacks). They are all here -- all the nutjobs -- mingling with the sane.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:08 | 1296242 trav7777
trav7777's picture

not all problems but many.  The entire diversity movement has been an unmitigated disaster.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 14:14 | 1296272 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Angela Merkel?  Is that you?

Nice tits!

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 17:43 | 1296847 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

  Why wouldn't you just shoot the raft and make him swim for it???

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:09 | 1295974 nah
nah's picture

no way

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:19 | 1296017 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Agreed, that's just how they fish in VA.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:23 | 1296047 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Excuse me, but dynamite is the preferred method in VA. We learned everything we know about fishing from our friends in North Carolina.

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:51 | 1296164 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture


Sat, 05/21/2011 - 00:29 | 1297588 pods
pods's picture

Haha.  CD, we just fish smarter down here instead of harder.

My uncle in the NW was telling me they go by the name of "Dow Spinners" out there.



Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:36 | 1296083 Wynn
Wynn's picture

Eat fish taken from the James river at your own peril. Back in the 80's some nice little company up in Richmond dumped tons of toxic kepone in the river. Its still in the river bed.

Between Surry (no e) and Jamestown, the only way across the river is by ferry. They won't build a bridge because they don't want to stir all that crap up.



Sat, 05/21/2011 - 08:52 | 1297940 Go Galt. Please.
Go Galt. Please.'s picture

Kepone Factory
Dead Kennedys
In God We Trust, Inc.

I finally found a job in a paper
Movin' barrels at chemical plant
There's shiny-looking dust on my fingers
Goin' up my nose and into my lungs

It's the Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
At the grimy Kepone Factory
Turning people into bonzai trees

Now I've got these splitting headaches
I can't quite get it up no more
I can't sleep and it's driving me crazy
Shake all day and I'm seeing double

Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
Grimy Kepone Factory

Gonna go down your big metal building
Gonna slam right through your bright metal door
Gonna grab you by your sta-prest collar
And ram some Kepone down your throat

The lawyer says "That's the breaks, kid
Gonna gnarl and rot the rest of your life
If you don't sue, we'll give you a Trans-Am
That I'll never drive 'cause I shake all the time"

'Cause of the Kepone poisoning Minamata
Kepone poisoning Minamata
Grimy Kepone factory

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:06 | 1295975 HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

Probably a disgruntled silverbug. 

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 13:44 | 1296144 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

oh shit that was funny

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