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  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

TEPCO Confirms CEO Shimizu "Ill And Hospitalized", Chairman Katsumata Now In Charge

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Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:42 | 1115710 mynhair
mynhair's picture

No Xanax in Nippon?


I wasn't planning on moving there anyway.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 04:50 | 1116154 Popo
Popo's picture

Xanax is not what the Japanese do.

He needs to fall on his sword.  He may have quite literally, destroyed his country.  (Or at least a good chunk of it).

Hopefully his honorable act of seppuku will become a trend among the senior management of our own country.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 04:59 | 1116158 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Yes but he should at least clean up the mess first.

'the president was not taken to hospital by an ambulance.'

No, he just floated there on a cloud of invisible radioactive wonder beams that arose like magic from under his tiny feet...

and hopefully toasted his nuts in the process.

My heart bleeds purple piss, as the saying goes...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 05:02 | 1116162 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

'TEPCO says company president Shimizu suffering from extreme dizziness, chairman Katsumata now at helm,'

is dizziness a symptom of radiation poisoning?

and if not, why not...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 07:39 | 1116286 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Can anyone clarify dizziness and delirium in Japanese. Maybe he was going to tell the truth and now he is in hospital for his "safety".

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:52 | 1116887 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Seppuku with too dull an instrument, no doubt. Does not a samurai supposed to stand ready, katana drawn, if in the case the "shamed" loses his nerve ?

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 02:40 | 1120512 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

The concept of "Honor" does not exist in the senior management of our own country.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:44 | 1115719 SparkyvonBellagio
SparkyvonBellagio's picture

Hopefully he was down there bailing water and getting the cooling system up to snuff.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:42 | 1115908 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I heard he became ill after sushi with Ann Coulter.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:33 | 1116003 Michael
Michael's picture

The SOB should just do a Hari Kari and just get it over with, the big baby coward makes me sick.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:21 | 1116742 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

+1 Cold, heartless ...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:49 | 1116020 Howard_Beale
Howard_Beale's picture

Word has it Ann Coulter thought his replacement's name was KamaSutra and she chased him down to get some radioactive Illustration 69.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:50 | 1116024 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Are you saying he thought it was fish and it wasn't?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 02:13 | 1116056 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Why can't he eat some gold or silver?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 02:18 | 1116064 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Sometimes it is not just fish.....

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 05:26 | 1116195 Hedge Jobs
Hedge Jobs's picture

maybe it was Fugu?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:43 | 1115720 YouBetYourLife
YouBetYourLife's picture

Could be he's hired an American law firm. 

This is what happens when the heat gets turned up on mobsters, etc., in the U.S.  Suddenly they become too ill to stand trial.  It's an old strategy that often works.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:22 | 1115864 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

He's pulling a Ken Lay :) Fuk-U-Shima Bitchez!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:30 | 1115882 YouBetYourLife
YouBetYourLife's picture

Hai!!  Domo. Exactly.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:45 | 1115723 Judge Holden
Judge Holden's picture

Weird.  It's almost like business leaders in those countries feel guilt over the destruction they unleash on their country.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:49 | 1115748 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

An usa ceo would have looted the company pension and been off on his yacht by now.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:10 | 1115817 Azwethinkweiz
Azwethinkweiz's picture

And the British CEOs would feel sorry for "the small people"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:25 | 1115877 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

"Okay, it is unfortunate what has happened. Tragic even. Equally as tragic and unfortunate is the hit to my golf game this detour will certainly cause."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:39 | 1115903 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

"The human toll here looks to be much worse than the economic toll and we can be grateful for that," Kudlow responded. "And the human toll is a tragedy, we know that."


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 05:04 | 1116174 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

We could always set up a Commission for Truth and Reconciliation and just forget about the whole fucking thing...


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 05:59 | 1116226 mogul rider
mogul rider's picture

A Canadian CEO would have wondered what the British and American would have done.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:16 | 1115975 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Remember what I have been saying about the cultural "group think"

It is a fallacy to think this guy actually ran this company. The "company" is the family literally.

In Japanese the two words are mirrors: kaisha, shakai

But even though it is a collective act that causes the damage. It is the symbolic leader who must fall on his sword.

Some take it and grit their teeth. Others get sick or jump from the building.

This guy blamed the whole thing on "sotei gai"...events beyond comprehension, then disappears on sick leave.

That is not an apology in my book.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 09:38 | 1116224 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

yes but why should CEO Shimizu get it in the neck? He was just the patsy sitting on top of a line of systemic errors he played no part in. The errors (made 40 years ago by others) were:

i. going Nuclear

ii. sighting the plant on the East coast

iii. back-up generator failed due to earthquake

iv. nuclear plant failed due to no adequate tsunami (wall) protection

v. not even the remotest safety equipment

Far as i can see the CEO had zippo to do with this decision-making process, the biggest mistake being the Jap Govt going nuclear in the first place.

The Bent Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) put out a program this week with their resident Scottish scientist (corrupt crone) who'd done a hatchet job on sceptics on climate change. His Japan coverage included saying the back-up generator that failed was set to withstand a 7.8 magnitude eathquake not an 8 (oh just 0.2 short).

And a satellite shot of the plant he led us to believe showed a tsunami wall around the plant was just 1 meter short of stopping the tsunami (oh just 4ft out) . Only the wall looked like a straight up security wall around the plant, nothing whatsoever like a tsunami wall construction which would have had a dyke/damn-like shape.

The Bent Broadcasting Corporation are living up to their non-stop biased propagandising name and EU/American political funding already by shovelling this shit

So why should Shimizu fall on his sword? It was the nuclear project Govt politicians who should be sharpening their blades and the nuclear plant designers who made all the systemic mistakes that resulted in an avoidable man-made disaster

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 09:51 | 1116625 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

All planned out in the 1960's (pre-PC, pre-computer modelling, pre-ARPA net etc etc etc); that's so fifty-years ago ...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 06:01 | 1116229 mogul rider
mogul rider's picture

He shouldn't allowed ot commit Hari Kari. They should throw his family into the reactor as a warning to other maggots that you don't screw with people's lives like this

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:46 | 1115730 SparkyvonBellagio
SparkyvonBellagio's picture

GE designed these reactors and paid no US Tax in 2010 yet they profited around 14 Billion.

Sounds like they're a classy Org.

These were probably laid out and built when that raisin was at the helm. 


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:56 | 1115771 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

They bet against their own reactors using AIG structured products. Payday ahead.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 04:47 | 1116152 kreso
kreso's picture

Link, please.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:10 | 1115969 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That raisin ;-)

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 21:43 | 1119866 Ted K
Ted K's picture

If he was a California raisin then he was  probably one of those "dirty liberals".  That means we can destroy the nation with packaged (bundled) mortgage garbage. Have 3 tranches: Garbage Cayne crap, Garbage  Fuld shit, garbage Blankfein fart. Then give it a cute acronym like PMG, light the fuse, watch it explode and say "It was California raisin healthcare that created this mess."

I could write Newt Gingrich's next political playbook for him.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:49 | 1115737 Spalding_Smailes
Spalding_Smailes's picture


Embassies ready iodide tablets


By MASAMI ITO Staff writer

Various embassies in Japan are passing out potassium iodide tablets as a "precautionary measure" to protect their citizens from radiation exposure in case the nuclear crisis at the Fukushima No. 1 power plant goes haywire.

Unlike other countries, Japan does not sell iodide tablets over the counter. The government and radiation experts have issued notices stressing the tablets should only be taken in the presence of a doctor.

From the early stages of the scare, the French Embassy began handing out tablets to its citizens. Other embassies have followed suit, including the U.K., U.S., Swiss and Swedish missions. While most embassies have specified that iodide tablets do not need to be taken at present and that citizens will be told when it is necessary, the Swedish Embassy is recommending on its website that citizens within 250 km of the Fukushima plant take them once every three days.



Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:37 | 1115898 knukles
knukles's picture

"in case the nuclear crisis at the Fukushima No. 1 power plant goes haywire."

Oh, how a slim a chance might that be, now?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 06:25 | 1116245 malikai
malikai's picture

Lol! A little bit fucking late for that. They should have been handing that stuff out two weeks ago. Right now they should be handing out prussian blue.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:47 | 1115739 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Chairman Katsumata:  "With this plutonium lava I'm gonna rule the world" 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 01:41 | 1116012 zaknick
zaknick's picture

Whoever junked you is a f@king asswipe.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:50 | 1115741 jkruffin
jkruffin's picture
Katsumata -

the guy from Last Samurai, he was on a death mission too... lol

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:50 | 1115745 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

Dizzy from seeing his intestines fall out from voluntarily committing Seppuku?

Or maybe he's dizzy because he knows he will have to do it afterwards.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:54 | 1115770 Mr. Denny Kneel
Mr. Denny Kneel's picture

That day may be coming sooner than you think. Just wait till the retail data of golden week come out!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:58 | 1115778 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

That thought occurred to me as well. If he had any balls he would be down there helping out.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:05 | 1115802 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

Holy cRAP! Maybe he got dizzy because the radiation mutated his belly into one of those talking head things from your DP.  Ah Total Recall, who knew the mutants were caused by Fukushima :(

But then that would require him being close to the site helping out.



Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:16 | 1115842 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

You are what you do. [bitchez]

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:20 | 1115863 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Which of the nuclear radioisotopes cause dizziness?  Oh wait, ...all of them

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:50 | 1115753 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

I heard his (Bunk Mates are from Egypt, Syria, IvoryCoast, and the guys on Qaddafi's) hemp noose team!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 00:19 | 1115773 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Out of country

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:53 | 1115755 Plumplechook
Plumplechook's picture

Just on NHK:  talking now about throwing a 'shroud' over each reactor building to try and limit radioactive releases into the atmosphere - and then bringing in some tanker ships to try and drain all that radioactive water lying around in basements and tunnels.

Sounds like a plan.  A plan thought up by Beavis and Butthead.  Jezzus - this really is getting farcical now.  I'd laugh if it wasn't so scary. 


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