Tiger Woods' Apology Causes Greater Market Volume Spike Than FOMC Discount Rate Hike Announcement

Tyler Durden's picture

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Rick64's picture

Big story of the day that has been hashed and rehashed for how many weeks. Quick hit the turbo button while nobody is looking.

velobabe's picture

bet ya he gave buddhism a spike at the same time period, too. cause the dalai lama was accepting his democracy award in the congress library at the exact time. sending out some zen.

year of the (metal) TIGER

Postal's picture

Tiger, American Idol, The Great Race... You know, important stuff. Can't have finance, budgets, and other important knowledge rattling about in one's head.

[/sarcasm]

Anonymous's picture

"When Tiger's speech causes a more dramatic volume impact than the FOMC you know this market is all sorts of perfectly efficient." Think the term 'perfectly schizophrenic' is more apt...

lsbumblebee's picture

"At approximately 11:06 AM a fight broke out when one of the robots wanted to watch Bonanza".

Anonymous's picture

That is about the funniest thing I have read in weeks...I am still chuckling. Thanks.

Anonymous's picture

I bow at your feet.

wackyquacker's picture

even my wife liked that one

Wynn's picture

Poor Tiger, he sold his soul to the machine, and now he can't get out.

Psquared's picture

I thought it was a breath of fresh air - obviously not prepared by a professional PR person. You will never hear a mea culpa from Wall Street except to say the devil made me do it.

Anonymous's picture

farking hilarious - yeah, that was totally off the cuff, I was looking for the strings, dude obviously hashed that out on a napkin at rehab. I is all rigged - "he is obviously in recovery, that was step 9, making amends"...since when was the 12 step program a race? Dude has been in "recovery" for a whopping month, lol.

Unscarred's picture

ESPN's Bill Simmons (probably the best sports writer in America today) had a GREAT column discussing the press conference.

When we first saw the room in Ponte Beach Verde, Fla., it looked like the start of a "Saturday Night Live" episode: small podium, blue curtain, some heads. The camera panned the crowd, revealing that there apparently had been an emergency casting call for somber white people in blazers. (Why didn't I get an invite? I own a blazer! I could have looked somber!) At 11:01 a.m. ET, Tiger emerged from the back, and I remember thinking that it would have been awesome if he were naked from the waist down.

 

He spoke for the next 13 and a half minutes. He spoke … like this. There was … no emotion … in his words. His face … was blank … and empty. Part of me … felt bad … for him. There were … a couple of moments … when it seemed … like … he was trying … to shed a tear … or have his voice catch … just for effect. You get … the idea...

 

In "A Few Good Men," one of my favorite scenes is when Kevin Bacon is cross-examining the guy from "ER" and asks him why "Code Red" isn't in the rulebook, then Tom Cruise redirects and points out that the mess hall isn't in there, either. Remember that? "So how do you know how to get to the mess hall?" You just follow the crowd. That's the answer. And that's what Tiger did this decade. He followed the crowd. He just got caught.

Classic Sports Guy.

velobabe's picture

priceless, bill simmons he is the new black.

CB's picture

this confirms it. the US is totally circling the drain.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Is that clockwise or counter clockwise? Just asking? Sometimes the details are important. :>)

bulldung's picture

Depends on whether Tiger is playing in the Northern or Southern hemisphere.

Hephasteus's picture

The ISDA is in full swing pulling it's derivitives bullshit that caused California to have all the rolling brownouts after thier little fuck over from Enron.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-11128_3-10456435-54.html?tag=newsEditorsPicksA...

Wynn's picture

Has google initiated its plan of world domination, or what?

Good thing their motto is "Do No Evil". lol

Hephasteus's picture

Ya it's like that movie. Mars Attacks. The alien gets the little translator and runs around saying "Do not run we are your friends" as he blasts everyone to green or red dust.

faustian bargain's picture

hm. I just realized that 'do no evil' backwards is "Live On O.D."

Hephasteus's picture

Their motto is actually "Don't be evil".

Anonymous's picture

can anyone explain to me why comex silver is up 3% but AGQ is only up 1.3 %.

I thought this fucker tracked Comex silver 2 to 1. By my heightened math skills that means AGQ should be up 6%. wtf?

scriabinop23's picture

comex silver settles a bit before the market.

 

 

Eduardo's picture
Ah... finally! ZH placing the atention were it was needed !

 

Stuart's picture

without overstating it too much about Tiger Woods.... I could not give a rat's ass what he did, what he does, what he said.   He is just not that important. 

George the baby crusher's picture

You don't, but the algos do.  They have become socially appt.  Now this is exciting.

35Pete's picture

Hmm. So if I were able to get a heads up in advance of who gets tossed off the island next week that would be considered insider trading? 

George the baby crusher's picture

Only if you're an algo, I think.

35Pete's picture

So a pre-screening of next week's episode of Survivor is a form of frontrunning if the algo get a whiff of it? 

Andrei Vyshinsky's picture

Well that's the point isn't it. It was an act of the most monumental egotism for Woods to make a public apology of the kind he's made here. Who besides his wife and family did he injure? Not me certainly. And, if anything, specifically to identify the cheating in public does nothing but exacerbate the injury to his wife. This guy has learned nothing. He should make his amends in private and only to those who've made an investment in him spiritually - his wife and family. Beyond that the whole thing is an exercize in narcissism.

faustian bargain's picture

Well...there is the issue of his sponsors...

Rainman's picture

....and there is the issue of all the paychecks in the PGA prize and ad pool . Unlike other sports, except maybe boxing, this dude WAS the whole franchise.....at least until another stud player dominates the course.

Dude on top blowing himself up. A familiar story for the ages.

Tiger's really a man-child and very emotional. Wheels came off when his old man died and wasn't around to give him a swift kick in the ass....which was probably the only thing he really feared.  

Anonymous's picture

This is the best article or atleast the one I got the most from on ZH so far. Sorry I'm still anon, haven't gotten approval to post as a member yet.

You guys lay it out in obvious fashion, beautiful man! Wow, the santa clause rally was a holiday (markets went up). This week was President's day (markets go up in face of horrible news).

The bottom line:
This week = computer driven rally not to be trusted.

There's no holiday next week but the averages are all over their 50 day sma even if it took a tick after the closing bell to put the S&P over it's 50 day sma.

Anonymous's picture

SIZE DOES MATTER.....BITCH!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOoXZe_S3wI

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

"I drink champaign in the hood/I drink champaign with Tiger Woods.  Huah!  Tiger Woods yall....Its all good yall...."

I hear the word tiger way too much in the mainstream. 

Chris Rock - Champagne:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZqlX7mIh6U

Chopshop's picture

it feels good to your brain baby

Anonymous's picture

This low volume turbo button hitting trick is why I think Bidderman doesn't see the fund flows necessary to run er up.

SRV - ES339's picture

Good post... surely CNBC is using the data in an upcoming expose' on the damage HVT is doing to the market (and it's role in market manipulation) as we speak... "don't ya think!"

Seriously... an interesting, and telling, observation (graphically demonstrating the market manipulation)... if only there was just a chance something will change as a result.

Anonymous's picture

I can't imagine how the euro will behave when the world cup begins.

Anonymous's picture

TYLER -

This just shows how the machines are running the show now...in case there is still any doubt.

Some of us who were working on a busy trading floor in Oct '95, when the OJ verdict came out, remember that volume WENT TO ZERO for a few minutes. It was one of the most surreal market moments ever.

Lots of quants took their shiny new, updated news driven models out of the hanger today I think.

Anonymous's picture

Interesting. Low volume usually marks a Market top.

It appears to me that when volume dries up they are ranping the price looking for Shorts to cover. As the price goes up Selling dries up also. People are greedy will not sell because they want the very last penny.

bulldung's picture

+1 ,never use stops with short ETFs

bulldung's picture

+1 ,never use stops with short ETFs

MsCreant's picture

The market sprouted "Tiger Wood."