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Tim Geithner's Cover Letter To Goldman Sachs Leaked
As Zero Hedge readers predicted by a margin of more than nearly three to one, Tim Geithner's next employer of choice, per bnet's Constantine von Hoffman, is none other than the universal viceroy-cum-vampire squid presiding at 200 West according to a just "leaked" letter. And while we all know the key resume highlights (issuing $1.5 trillion in debt a year for the duration of his tenure, mopped up on both sides by Quantitative Easing, bringing America to the verge of insolvency and living on an "auction to auction" basis), here is the summary of Geithner's key qualifications that make him a shoo in for the job.
Timothy F. Geithner
Department of The Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington DC 20220
(202) 622-2000
HR Department
Goldman Sachs & Co.
200 West Street
New York, NY 10282
Dear Mr./Ms. Last Name:
I am writing to apply for the position of Master Of The Universe at Goldman Sachs as advertised in The Bilderberg Group Daily News. I believe my experience in experimenting on the economy
playing with other people’s money makes me an excellent candidate for
this position. As requested, I am enclosing a completed job application,
my certification, my resume and three references. (Please call Dr. Kissinger first. He’s not getting any younger.)
I have extensive experience working for with the rich and powerful. My most recent job was as secretary of the U.S. Treasury (a
situation which put a premium on diversity awareness). Even before I
took the job I was the center of attention in Washington. And despite
not paying any income taxes for four years, my nomination was opposed by
only a third of the Senate. As Treasury Secretary, I ended all those
fluctuations in the unemployment rate and kept it at a nice
steady level. Despite the job’s title, I did NOT answer phones or any
filing. Although I can do both while typing 120 wpm. With one hand.
Among my many other accomplishments: Helping a large number of
financial institutions avoid the consequences of their actions. As many
of the very large number of our mutual friends (hint, hint) will tell you, the quid pro quo
on this — cutting executive salaries and perks while limiting dividends
and corporate acquisitions — was strictly window dressing. Remember the
bonuses AIG paid to executives in its Financial Services division after receiving $170 billion in bailout?
Prior to my current position I served as president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. It was in that job, when I got Bear Stearns
a $30 billion bailout, that I discovered my true vocation: Giving large
amounts of other people’s money to down-on-their-luck wealthy
institutions. This was very important to help the economy, no matter what Paul Krugman says. I mean really, what’s he ever done?
In closing I would just like to say how much I respect and admire your CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, whom everyone agrees is very spry for a man of his age.
Very Sincerely Yours,
Tim
P.S.: Don’t believe what you read in the press about me: I still want
the job. Actually, just don’t believe anything about me you read in the
press. Call me!
h/t @vigilantgrandpa
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Of course - Timmy gets to book a whammer if his own now..
Ciao
Timmy is trying to avoid the vortex of the sinking ship that is QE-infinty and ineligible illegal resident fraudulent president
Dear Tim,
Thank you for taking the time to apply for employment with the great and mighty OZ Goldman Sachs & Co. While the position of Master of the Universe has not been vacated as of yet (the hit team has encountered a snag) we feel you are much more qualified to fill the glamours and far reaching position of head janitor. Please bright your own plunger and coveralls.
We will expect to see you on Tuesday.
HR Dept
Goldman Sachs Inc.
Yeah, but I bet he works exclusively on Lloyd's Golden Crapper which Lloyd regularly fouls while disgorging what's left of the American Taxpayer's bones.
Confidential and Threatening
To: HR, G. Cohn
From: Lloyd Blankfien
Re: Attached letter and resume, T. Gheifftner
Why need I point out to you that with respect to FINRA's consolidated rules covering suitability (rule 2111) as well as the know your customer obligation (rule 2090), not to mention the NYSE's rule 406 dealing with suitability standards, Giepheetner is not properly suited nor adaptable to employment here in the Land of OZ as he perfectly fits not only the NYSE and FITINYA's standards but Our Very Own Special Suitability Standards as a Most Desirious Client who remains a central part of The Utmost Importance To Retain The Status Quo, because he's the most profitable fucking thing that's ever happened in Our (For this Fucking Moment) Very Happy Land of OZ.
May I thus suggest that if you ever want to see the inside of my office on a more than temporal last time visiting basis and if everybody in HR wants to remain employed, and let me remind you all of the absolute shit hole the economy is in right now regardless of our own propaganda, Guppy Boy will remain our Bag Man at Treasury for the foreseeable future.
I care not how much we must spend in additional campaign contributions with Schumer, Frank, Dodd and the rest of the less than stellar illuminary leeches, just make really sure Two Hands Stays Fucking Put.
Lloyd
PS Is there any truth to those rumors about photos of Twinkles and DSK? Put Kroll on it. And while you're at it, back door their new ratings service.
PSS Why the fuck am I the only one lrft doing all of God's Work around here all the time? Is there anybody else with an ounce of not shit for brains at this place that's paid anything less than $5million/year? And you wanna hire Tiffles. Jesus H Fucking Chreeeeist, you can start accruing next year's bonus pool at a higher rate with an increased participation percentage to me.
Tyler - before Timmy leaves his post, can he answer this question?
US Treasury says it holds 258.6Million Oz of gold bullion with a book value of only $10.9Bn. Why is the Treasury using $42/oz?
http://fms.treas.gov/gold/current.html
More than a bit curious why book value is not using $1500/oz - some 35x larger book value.
The Squid will always make room for made guys once they've looted the failing regime. Timmay is an earner. He can squeeze out of paying taxes for a kicker. He'll fit right in.
+1
LOL
No chance going local. Timmy's unique skills and abilities lend him either to Carlyle or some key foreign diplomat posting. Possibly China or Middle East - but somewhere offshore IMO.
Lloyd: " I like the cut of your jib Geithner...the position requires a mop and bucket, but you must furnish the bucket, knowing that, when can you start ?"
"Although I can do both while typing 120 wpm. With one hand."
LOL!
Let's all make a pact.
Whoever hires this hump and his Dr. Strangelove hair-do deserves to be boycotted.
Let's put out of business the pure evil that allow this human stain to afflict the Earth.
Oh and yes.
On behalf of every American turned debt bondage slave for you and your diseased money worshiping friends - We will never forget.
It's much too late for any of that. The American people are still playing their opening while the TBTFs are in their endgame.
I an afraud that is exactly the case.
Beautiful.
well half the senate and congress already think Timmy worked at Goldman Sucks, I think it would be a great fit. However, Goldman does have a real balance sheet with assets market to the real mark, not Maiden Lane I thru 3 million with toxic assets and crap marked to Imaginationland Marks. He may find it hard to adjust to the real world,, since he never has been there...
Why are the original colonies so tolerant of traitors living among them?
ok fixed the problem at last, in case anyone missed my comments over the last few months. If anyone else hasn't been able to access and post on zerohedge, I fixed it my accessing via google chrome rather than microsoft explorer..anyways...timmay might get a very good job at the GVS, especially if he has to break in the incoming with lots of training...you can imagine....
new Sec Treas..Timmay, how do I...
Timmay, let me set it out for you, just a second... (background conversation..which way round is the prop desk? very short duration, ok..double down ...) ok.Sec Treas..announce you will be instructing the Fed to auction its Treasuries to the highest central bank bidder, so that you can swap them for their own governments equivalent!
you missed out Timmays PPS
PPS. My experience of pissing away $Trillions of a Sovereign peoples money just like Goldman-Sucks losing 98% of the Libyan Soveriegn Fund makes me a top candidate for managing national and international funds. I've an amazing burn rate Lloyd ;)
I think there are two real possible places he might be able to land a job.
1. BAC (BAC probably thinks that if they had Geithner they would garner less negative attention .... Bzzzzzt WRONG!)
2. Blackrock (It is massive enough to hide anyone away for 10 years... even though they have no need for Timmy the Weasel.)
Seriously
PIMPCO
BIS
UN
Builderbugs
CFR
How about AIG or WFC? I am sure FNM and FRE might have a closet for him .
He should be landing a ten year position as a cook in some low security prison kitchen with a few of those who would employ him at GS.
Timmy could just countinue his current job at another venue ... like becoming a chamber maid at the Sofitel selling blow jobs to the elite.
Tim never left GS - he has pretended to do the ST job, but has been undercover for GS the whole time. Of course they will be taking him back in publically and and giving him billions in bonuses immediately no doubt. I bet good ole Timmy will be very wealthy within weeks of leaving his position. Wonder how many Swiss bank accounts he will have?
++++
Timmy is already wealthy thanks to his partners in crime.
The accounts aren't Swiss. They're in the same place that the rest of the Kosher Nostra has them.
++++
Timmy is already wealthy thanks to his partners in crime. He might need to keep a lower profile as TSHTF. He's already served his masters and it's time for a comfortable retirement.
The accounts aren't Swiss. They're in the same place that the rest of the Kosher Nostra has them.
At the FED.
LOL
They're never audited.....
Kosher Nostra ? nice.
I wanna see his birth certificate to authenticate that indeed he is a squirrel, sibling of Ben. Transcript would be nice too.
Timmy is a puppet. There will be another take his place. His reward for services rendered will be determined by the puppetmasters, but will be such that other puppets will continue to feel comfortable doing whatever the fuck they are told to do. As far as eternal rewards, he should be concerned about the bad karma he is lugging around from enslaving all the hard working people while destroying the dollar and rewarding the asswipes that caused and are causing the problems.
Come on team, you know better than that.
He will write one or two books for 1M each signing bonus, then he will take a stint at some non ivy league university, while at the same time consulting for a European bank for 1M/year. They need him and his connections and money. He can't do it here....so he will do it there. They need him more and it is significantly more under the radar.
The politicians and the Federal Reserve are only working for the bankers and make rules only to help those who are useful to them.
They bail out the bankers and the rich corporations (who should not be in business because of their incompetencies) without even changing their previous management because they fund the election campaigns and also place them in their organisations at exorbitant salaries once they leave office. This class alongwith the rich individuals pay the minimum amount of tax while getting the maximum benefit of the tax collected from the rest of the population in the form of bailouts.
The politicians make promises to unions and pay them salaries which the employees in the private sector can only dream of in return for votes which would get them elected.
The too big to fail bunch of banksters can get away with murder, fraud, coercian, harrassement of the general public and any other illegal activity under the sun because they have a lot of influence on the political class, the rule makers and the rule enforcers due to their enormous purchasing power. So irrespective of the position in the government, everyone works for their benefit.
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article24581.html
i think they may need timmah @ the state dept: Al Qathafi Threatens to Retaliate to NATO Bombing by Attacking Europe
the week's Bearish Bullshit is now complete!
actually, while discussing my pro-moQ, $20, 11-to4 bet (reverse fully amortized annuitized term life insurance) months ago, i predicted that if sarko pissed this guy off to the max, he would light up paris on 7.14---bastille day, possibly taking out the louvre.
slewie is not responsible for life imitating art.
i took the 90-day full life option term policy bet against death, and have already been handsomely paid for my "investment".
among the globally-flowering fields of bankster haters, the moQ is the loosest cannon we have seen in a good, long time, is he not?
Chanted the crowds of Tripoli that numbered in the hundreds of thousands.
I am surprised by Gadafi's declaration of war (not that war had not already been declared on him). If K-Man wanted to have history on his side, he would wait until the Anglo-American Empire invaded him, and would send the Western armies packing. He needs not bomb Europe when every man and woman, educated and not, is carrying assault rifles.
Mr. Geithner your resume appears to be quite impressive, however right now we are in desperate need of an "Economic Defibrillator".
As you can see he's having a bit of a problem reviving our current economic...hm...shall we say....predicament.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjIXwkX1e48&feature=related
Are you interested?
I believe my experience in experimenting on the economy playing with other people’s money makes me an excellent candidate for this position.
experimenting ...drugs...economy...economy on drugs...JW experimenting on the economy? heh
[K]Neel Kashkari also has a job waiting for Tim at PIM[P]CO
Dear Gold Sak, I did good...no?
98 Bottles of Beer ON The Wall
DJ Comex Gold And Silver Warehouse Stocks-Jul 1
if timmah can drive a forklift, he can stack gold bars for blythe.
JP Morgan Chase Bank NAReg 10,070 0 0 0 0 10,070
Elig 2,480,349 256,229 (added) 0 256,229 -497 2,736,081
Ttl 2,490,419 256,229 0 256,229 -497 2,746,151
here, we see she has a quarter-million troy ounces to stack, which i figure is abt 1/2 the gold ballast she took aboard, last month.
and here are the 98 bottles: total silver in crimex vaults, where 1mm toz = 1 beer.
Reg 28,090,714 0 0 0 0 28,090,714Elig 71,359,723 0 736,472 -736,472 0 70,623,251
Ttl 99,450,437 0 736,472 -736,472 0 98,713,965
i am now dying to see what these pastes look like when they hit the string... pls see the original link if ???
Put some WD 40 on the revolving door between Goldman's offices and the U.S. Treasury; we don't want it to get stuck now.
I only wonder if Geithner’s new office at Goldman Sachs will be as well ornamented as John Thain’s was at Merrill Lynch back in 2009. If only he were Ben Bernanke, there would be a solid gold throne and jewel studded crown waiting for him behind the desk with a value only to be exceeded by his guaranteed bonus.
Every day, I walk by the building where our first Treasury Secretary learned business as a clerk in Christiansted, St Croix. I often wonder if our Founding Fathers would have still gone to the trouble of birthing a nation if they could have known the deeply un-serious and venal men that inherited their positions some 200+ years hence.
+ 1776
Write the book first...
"Mein Scam... or How I learned to Love the Bailout
(per Maddoff, the US Govt,
is a ponzi scheme, just look at Greece for the
preview)
why not start his own printing firm, maybe together with Fitrat? 'We make cutting edge, high quality fiat money... only made of organic thin air... individual solutions for democracies, dictatorships and all variations of corrupt regimes...'
God Bless you! Great letter....That's all they need is another guy 'doing God's work" there at GS.
PLAN TRUMPS NO PLAN
Henry Kissinger is as big a scum sucking sleaze bag as what Timmy Two Tounge is.
Ps....Fuck Off Timmy you piece of shit.
Timmay's new job... Kissinslime's new chauffeur... Little monkey cap Timmay...
but, but, but, Tim has always said he is a dyed in the wool public servant and cannot work for private sector shills whom his life's vocation is to regulate along the straight and narrow...like all true public servants should.
The letter forget to mention his expertise when it comes to dealing with the tax code.
Can one even quantify that value added type of core competency?
That little faggot is a good candidate for the guillotine, that's for sure.
He won't get hired without my approval, I am Dr. fu**ing starnglove man.
Even General Ripper wouldn't hire that commie.
Tiny Tim was born with a silver spoon. He will be rewarded in kind for his service of being Obama's right hand man. Who's sole purpose was to wipe Barrack's a55.
Geithner's paternal grandfather, Paul Herman Geithner (1902–1972), emigrated with his parents from the German town of Zeulenroda to Philadelphia in 1908.[9] His father, Peter F. Geithner, was the director of the Asia program at the Ford Foundation in New York in the 1990s. During the early 1980s, Peter Geithner oversaw the Ford Foundation's microfinance programs in Indonesia being developed by Ann Dunham Soetoro, President Barack Obama's mother, and they met in person at least once.[10] Timothy Geithner's mother, Deborah Moore Geithner, is a pianist and piano teacher in Orleans, Massachusetts where his parents currently reside. Geithner's maternal grandfather, Charles F. Moore, was an adviser to President Dwight D. Eisenhower and served as Vice President of Public Relations from 1952 to 1964 for Ford Motor Company.[11]
That is "Stanley Ann Dunham-Soetoro" to you, pal...
And:
... is exactly why Timmay hasn't been fired from Treasury to this day...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=errwLVgHpXY&feature=related
Timmay probably left that line on forgetting to find the person's real name before he sent it off... Just like his tax return...
Well Timmay, You Fucked Up the Goldmanite Job
I knew Wanker Timmay would end up Hillary's and Weiner's wife's bitch at the World Bank...
Is Jamie Dimon taking over when Geithner leaves? If yes, God help us all.
Pretty soon the entire Obama Bin Lyin' cabinet meeting will consist of:
What a crew of incompetent losers... Now that's change I can believe in...
Signature in Crayon.
Just before you go, why not let's see if you know what the interest on $14.3 Trillion is? I know you don't care cos' you're all into CHF?
Working for GS is like being knighted by the queen. He will get a post there once he is done doing the bidding of his masters.
I find it abominable that you find fault with this fine upstanding young man...
WELL, since he speaks Chinese, send him to Beijing as US Ambassador.
So they can laugh at him some more?
deleted
As funny as it is, this does not belong on ZH.
This is your chance to write something that does!
Go for it.
http://www.zerohedge.com/node/add
I remember all the jokes about Dick Cheney and eating kittens and the souls of puppies. Now it seems you could substitute anybody's name in any of the last two regimes with this. 2000-2011.
Here's an example: (Insert current name here) is so evil he doesn’t have a heart, just a muscle to pump pure liquid evil through his veins. He travelled through time to be Caligula, Atilla, Hitler, and Pol Pot’s role model, but they all failed him. He eats kittens because there aren’t enough endangered animals to fill his insatiable maw. In the original Hebrew, the Bible actually says “(Insert current name here) is the root of all evil”.
I'm getting off this merry go round soon to a place with some common sense.
You can't actually eat a puppy soul, but they can be snorted.
All you need to know to get the job is what kind of Bush grows in a Pakistani planter.
Give up?
Neil Bush. Ha Ha Ha. Get it Timmah? Those Chinese have quite a sense of humor. eh? Pushing up daisies. Good one Hu!
and his replacement is....
http://www.politico.com/politico44/perm/0711/chasing_jamie_65971c2e-8e27...