Today's Exercise In Wristslapping: Full Text Of Toothless Draft Banker-Regulator Settlement

Tyler Durden's picture

We haven't read the whole thing. We probably won't. In essence banks promise to never engage in robosigning. Atualy monetary penalty - none! With every bank signing this form of agreement, the administration can again say all is well, and people can go back to purchasing mortgages whose notes are forever lost in the black hole that is multi-trillion bank fraud. But don't worry: they promise to never do it again.


h/t MM

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Bananamerican's picture

"they promise to never do it again."

Do they NEED to? Aint dem niggaz set fa' life??

j0nx's picture

You can never be too rich or too thin.

velobabe's picture

i think that is amerika, alma mater!

101 years and counting's picture

there you have it. if you break the law, just promise to never do it again.

open season on drunk driving, domestic abuse and robbing banks....well, maybe not that one.  penalty for that is torture then death.

the mad hatter's picture

they probably robosigned the agreement not to robosign.

Welcome to bankersocialism. He who prints the money writes the rules.

divide_by_zero's picture

Skipped ahead to the last page or two, looks like they didn't even have to promise not to do it again. If compliance is unfeasible they can request relief.

imapopulistnow's picture

The banks agree to hire consultants to determine if the banks have overcharged or improperly or illegally charged fees to the homeowner accounts.  So, what could possibly go wrong?

Urban Redneck's picture

Not even that-

Page 1 - Cease & Desist Order (this isn't even a PCAD or SEB notice)

Page 2 - Bank neither admits nor denies

nothing to see here. move along.



defn8Dog's picture

This will put in place all the expensive procedures the banks somehow forgot up to now and will absolutely dent their operating margins.

oklaboy's picture

And this suprises anybody here at ZH how? Did you really think Bernake, Blankenfeld and co were going to do the perep walk?

gordengeko's picture

Right.  I have a question for everyone.  At what point does it become old just reporting the news of the overly apparent ass raping of humans everywhere?  I'm about to stop putting information out there and revert to just sarcastically good and bad attempts at commentary.  I mean nothing is secret anymore, we know who they are, where they came from, where they studied at (where that came from) and they are blatantly telling you what the agenda is.  Don't get me wrong, I love this site and has helped me tremendously piece together missing bits of info and be able to profit from it.  For me, it's getting old seeing more of the same and hearing more of the angry commentary especially from anonymous (where ya at?), whatever happened to that btw?  Nothing is done and we are just trodding along bitching the whole way to our own destruction.  I don't know how you do it TD, seeing this shit day in day out. 

flattrader's picture

Go here.  Plenty of time to make travel reservations.

Takin' it right to the black heart of Wall Street.

Be there or be square.

Time for the ZH keyboard kommandos to rise up!

Incubus's picture

nah, I like being behind the keyboard.  And I wouldn't want to risk seeming like some douche with a Guy Fawkes mask. 

I'll start playing when "we" put away the masks and bring out the pitchforks and guillotines.

flattrader's picture

I don't know why you think you have to weark a Guy Fawkes mask other than the graphic at the site.  It won't afford much protection.

Having been on both sides of the line, I will have a N-95 in my pocket and polarized, gasket-sealed ski sunglasses.

>>>I'll start playing when "we" put away the masks and bring out the pitchforks and guillotines.<<<

This shit is real now.

and you'll always be a key board commando if you're afraid of being a douche.

Oh, already are.

I have to agree with Gordon,  ZH has become tiresome.

Incubus's picture

I just think that we're past the point of mindless demonstration.  Demonstrations are for functioning societies where they fulfill an actual purpose; as things are right now,  demonstrations do nothing but make the participants feel better about themselves, nothing more. 

I don't need to "participate" for some sort of ego fulfillment. 

Let's just skip the goddamned foreplay already and get to what we know will be inevitable.

flattrader's picture

Study some history.

The catalyst is usually a "demonstration(s)."  You never know which one will the the flashpoint.

Behnind THAT is a rising tide of discontent and restentment which I believe already exists.

An example--


"By 1917, the average working woman was spending 40 hours per week in bread cues.

"The 23rd of February 1917, was International Women's Day. And ironically that day a bread riot started in Petrograd led by the women themselves. They were fed up with waiting for bread. Many of them sleeping outside bakeries overnight to be first in line because so many bakeries had closed.


"They marched through the workers' districts of the city gathering their men folk from the other factories, and occupied the center of the city. About a 100,000 people were in the fashionable downtown districts of Petrograd that day, and over the next three or four days they again occupied the city. More and more people flooded into the center of the city – not just workers, but students, officers, society ladies, and spectators.


"The chief of the military district, General Khabalov, could not cope with the situation.


"But then on the 26th of February, he effectively turned what was a chaotic bread riot into a revolution by ordering his troops to fire on the unarmed crowds. It was that firing which was to turn these bread riots into a revolution. The next day thousands of troops came out from the Garrison. They occupied all the key buildings. They started arresting ministers running for their lives, opened prisons and began to converge on the Tauride Palace."

Don't forget, smart phone, earplugs...and a bicycle helmet is a good investment.

velobabe's picture

i would change bicycle helmet, to either hockey or football.

macholatte's picture


the key phrase: " ordering his troops to fire on the unarmed crowds.."

and, presumably, the troops did what they were ordered to do.

There is no reason to believe American police, National Guard, Army, Marines or other authority will do anything other than follow orders and even kill their own fellow citizens. (see Kent State).

flattrader's picture

Yes, exactly.

And so it begins.

If anyone believes this will change without a large number of people getting physically hurt and/or dead, they are so very, very wrong.

macholatte's picture

The outcome was never in doubt. The jury found all of the defendants guilty, and the Lord Chief Justice Sir John Popham proclaimed them guilty of high treason. The Attorney General Sir Edward Coke told the court that each of the condemned would be drawn backwards to his death, by a horse, his head near the ground. They were to be "put to death halfway between heaven and earth as unworthy of both". Their genitals would be cut off and burnt before their eyes, and their bowels and hearts removed. They would then be decapitated, and the dismembered parts of their bodies displayed so that they might become "prey for the fowls of the air".


Sounds like a good way to end the FED.


Josh Randall's picture

Hang in there Brother Gordo - just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it's not taking place, the unemployed have plenty of time on their hands and have been researching, calling, and and starting to kick bee hives around - it will be a long hot summer I predict.


For those that want the whole story:

"United States declared Bankruptcy on March 9th, 1933.."



tradewithdave's picture

You're finally starting to get it.  That's the entire purpose of this site and the "intelligence industry" and believe me it's an industry, not some guy in Mom's basement.  Once you're worn down and conditioned then the battle is won.  You won't be surprised when the implementations are put in place.  You can say "I knew it" or "I told you so" with the best of them.  Google Rosenthal effect, observer effect, quantum physics, or simply rent My Fair Lady or read Pygmalion.  It's all the same and it's all for you.  How do you like it?    

Dave Harrison

gordengeko's picture

Well this site is very good at stirring up the pot and providing information.  No real meat tho with no long term solutions, so you are right either they are intelligence or they still don't get it.  And judging from the articulate pieces presented here I know they are well educated and well versed people.

pazmaker's picture

Gorden....I'm with you on that..... not just what I see on ZH but what I see in out inmy community as well.   I love where I live.... rural area   prepared with food and water and a food and water source not dependent upon electricity...but I'm sick of the mess in this country(USA).  I still have a mortgage and that is my only debt no other loans or credit cards....but I'm thinking of moving to Ecuador and live debt free off the grid(we own property there debt free)

It realy is depressing   not sure if I'll stay and tough it out or go!

ParisianThinker's picture

I have noticed the language, the never ending hostility, and the sarcasm too.  This, in fact, represents the American culture. I found it too harsh to live there. Who needs it? Only the predators.

What can an individual or a group do to change plutocracy? Whatever the answer, the fight is endless and never ending. 

I learned how the system really works. It is a predatory, gun slinger culture devoid of humanity. It knows the value of nothing and the price of everything.  Those who run the show do so only for their vested interests: power and profit.You must always be aware of this context. That in itself is a full time job. 

Dr. Richard Head's picture

And the music keeps playing and the people still dance and life goes on as if everything is OK.

Gubbmint Cheese's picture

where are my matches?

bugs_'s picture

bankstering is hard

(ah crap he fixed the typo)

andybev01's picture

I totally believe that they will abide by this decision.

They will just come up with a newer more profitable way to fuck with your money.


Traianus Augustus's picture

These guys are just asking for a firing squad.

ParisianThinker's picture

One day, their wish will be granted.

quasimodo's picture

Sadly never to happen in our lifetime

KingdomKum's picture

not soon enough,  any volunteers?


Shameful's picture

Wow not even a slap on the wrist for a few million.  I'm impressed, shows how much they really think of the collective intelligence of the mass man.

Ferrari's picture

I think you touch upon the crux of our predicament. We do nothing to resist them. The French demonstrate over nothing, at the drop of the hat they pile into the streets, but we just reach for the remote every time we get sodomized by TPTB, and they have nothing but contempt for us. The more they steal, the less they pay, the more they sodomize us, the lower we sink into the couch, into our abject torpor. They think this is what we deserve, and on some level they might feel it's their moral obligation to give us more of the same. They're begging for a pirchfork in the chest, but we don't even make a peep.

flattrader's picture

Go here.

Plenty of time to make travel plans.  My summer vacation just changed.

Takin' it right to the black heart of Wall Street.

Be there or be square.

Time for the ZH keyboard kommandos to rise up!

The Tylers(s) should get a button concession so we can all recognize each other.

Ferrari's picture

Sounds good. I think I'm in. It's my son's last day of school, but I'm contemplating yanking him and taking him with me. This is what we've both been waiting for. Thanks. Maybe see you there. I'll be wearing my ZH hat.

flattrader's picture

Seriously, consider something more circumspect, like a ZH button.

The only hat you want to be wearing is a bicycle helmet...or have one stashed in a backpack. [See my posts above for demo ware.]

I've got a politically active older kid who loves demos.

Yeah, time for some bonding.

treemagnet's picture

If you believe in karma, I'd hate to be those assholes.

Shameful's picture

I think anyone living in this world and looking at things with a open mind and eyes will see there is no such thing as karma.

Karma is a belief us little people have to try to justify the evil that is done to us "Oh, well they'll get theirs!". Evil is rarely harmed by it's actions, unless it runs into an even greater evil. Look at the great mass murders of the 20th century (Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Hitler) funny how only one died in a violent manner, when facing down with a greater evil as well (look at kill counts).

Arkadaba's picture

"And the meek shall inherit the earth" - they have been selling this s*** for a long time.

Solemn Simulacrum's picture

Ain't that some shit...

slaughterer's picture

Furthers the harmony of our "harmonious society."

LostWages's picture

The inmates are running the asylum....what else should we expect.

Bad dog!   Here's another biscuit for you.