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Tokyo Passengers Set Off O'Hare Radiation Detectors

Tyler Durden's picture


No seriously, it is all under control. And furthermore, the radiation detectors only go off on less than dangerous doses. And if that fails, GE can simply raise the sensitivity threshold on its scanners so no more vile, malicious false alarms such as this are set off in the future. "Mayor Richard Daley acknowledged today passengers on a flight from Tokyo had set off radiation detectors at O’Hare International Airport, but he offered no details and said federal officials will be handling the situation."

From Chicago Breaking News:

“Of course the protection of the person coming off the plane is very important in regards to any radiation, especially within their families and anything else,” Daley said at a downtown news conference to discuss his trip to China this week.

City Aviation Commissioner Rosemarie Andolino would only say, “We are aware that occurred yesterday. We are working with Customs and Border Protection on this issue." She referred reporters to the Department of Homeland Security.

And the follow up from Chicago Positive Spin News:

Federal officials found traces of radiation on a United Airlines jet that arrived at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport from Tokyo Wednesday but determined that the plane’s cargo and passengers were safe.

Airline and government officials are reluctant to address their efforts to detect radiation contamination on U.S. aircraft at a time when some members of the public are jittery about possible fallout from Japan’s stricken nuclear plants.

It is unclear if those who set off the alarms will be arrested for smuggling illegal radiation from Japan, where gamma waves are being scared into hiding if one is brave enough to believe the domestic government.


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Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:10 | 1067719 cossack55
cossack55's picture

No more need be said. Good job, Tyler.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:37 | 1067872 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Hmmm.... wonder if the those detectors had their detection sensitivity increased?

Wonder if Japan will be blamed for bottom line losses to the airlines?

Just another US gov't initiative to put further blame and shame on a nation clearly struggling to survive at this point.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:11 | 1068371 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

The Japanese passengers will be easy to see because they tend to glow in the dark.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:14 | 1068119 patience...
patience...'s picture

The director of Homeland security just stated on the radio, HS has been inspecting cargo and people from Japan and have found no radioactivity.


HS is right on top of the situation as usual.

When we end the Fed, HS needs to be included.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:35 | 1068701 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

HS couldn't find anything except doughnuts & porn.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 21:22 | 1069479 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

They found my joint but I convinced them it was tobacco.

I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:05 | 1068344 HedgeFundLIVE
HedgeFundLIVE's picture

Investors may want some facts and figures that ignore opinion on Japan too: blog post

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:13 | 1067728 barliman
barliman's picture

Obama is going to detail how bad things are in Japan, advise all non-essentail personnel to leave Japan, and express his sympathies for the bitchez left behind


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:15 | 1067738 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

thats too much work - he s working on picks and brazil vacation

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:23 | 1067786 RacerX
RacerX's picture

That guy is so beyond hope it's embarassing. When does someone call "uncle" and begin impeachment proceedings? I mean seriously.. WTF is this guy doing?!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:43 | 1067917 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

He is doing his job: Weakening / Destroying the United States of America's worldwide influence and power.

Left or Right, if you ascribe this motivation to him. Everything he is doing starts making perfect sense.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:15 | 1068388 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

A politician's job is to talk out of both sides of his mouth, saying one thing and meaning another.  Is any politician different?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:44 | 1067939 Practical Irrat...
Practical Irrationality's picture

Don't you have to actually DO something in order to get impeached?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:13 | 1067731 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

Gamma is bullish.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067777 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Lol.. "Gamma exposure".. lol. That's hilarious. I am laughing like a retard right now..

Let's hope the Theta decay works in our favor. Those pesky greeks..

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067799 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

Totally unrelated but Racer X is one of my most favorite things in the world. Black and yellow FTW!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:26 | 1067802 duncecap rack
duncecap rack's picture

That's the explanation! I just got home from work and have been trying to figure out what has pumped up the market so much. Next time there is a pause in the market they should set off a few nukes here.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:08 | 1068096 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

ever since %25 of our populatiuon started dying of radiation sickness, we havent had to lie about unemployment numbers so much. radiation is good for the economy.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:58 | 1068531 knukles
knukles's picture

Here's the deal...
We got all the empty houses...
Japan got all the unhoused people...

We import the people and house them...
In exchange for forgiveness on our debt which they hold...

Then they all die or radiation sickness anyhow...
And we still got the houses...

Dude, a repeat of Pebble Beach, Rockefeller Center and and the upper half condo arrangement of Citicorp Center.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:37 | 1068710 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

Seriously, I thought about that--plane loads of Japanese with loads of cash coming to America and helping out with that housing slump. Right now I'm praying for two guys from Tokyo to start a bidding war on my mom's front lawn.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:13 | 1067734 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Cool. do they glow in the dark too?


As long as their bracket cards are wiped clean all it well.



Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:14 | 1067735 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

yeah and all the libyan rebels will be dead by the time the obama does something

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:18 | 1067755 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

He will just have to find other people to kill, then.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:23 | 1067789 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Apparently that was the idea -- use the rebels to provide a reason to go in but be sure to wait until the rebels are not a viable force in the aftermath -- which of course they aren't if we let Gaddafi kill them all.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:45 | 1067944 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Or, alternatively, posture and let gadaffi stay...  IF he keeps the oil pumping.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:52 | 1068294 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

For the final smackdown , El Presidente for Life has instructed his troops to reduce Benghazi to ashes and to kill everything moving. Yeh I think that will about do it.........

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:31 | 1067829 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

How would you like it if we had a rebellion and some outsider came here and said that they thought they would have to interfere in our national business?  How would you like that?  It is not our responsibilty nor is it our business to bother other nations about their internal matters......

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:05 | 1068339 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

"How would you like it if we had a rebellion and some outsider came here and said that they thought they would have to interfere in our national business? "


What's the downside?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:11 | 1068367 mkkby
mkkby's picture

That would be ideal.  We'll need lots of help getting rid of our corrupt gov.  Just like when the French helped us leave the King of England.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:40 | 1068727 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

Yeah, but how have we treated the French since then? F--- you, givers of the statue of Liberty!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:13 | 1067739 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:14 | 1067740 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Oh, no worries.  False alarm.  There was a guy with a dirty bomb on the plane and that's what set them off.  Nothing to see here!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:30 | 1067819 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Someone had a copy of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in their luggage?

Send that guy to Guantanamo!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:48 | 1067972 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Amazingly for someone over 50 I get that joke. I've watched it several time because Dr. Aki Ross is HOT. :>)

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:14 | 1068116 tmosley
tmosley's picture

I enjoyed playing the games up through the tenth one.  When it came out, I thought that it would be as good as the storyline for one of them.  Sadly, they must have spent all their cash on the effects, leaving nothing for the writers, so they got an enviro-hippy to write it for free.

It was certainly a special effects spectacular, but the plot was just all over the place.  It might have made a good game--maybe a venture into the survival horror genre.

Ah well.  Not much time for games these days.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:44 | 1068262 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

CD- I already knew you were the Man, but now even more so! :) LOL I'm a big old school final fantasy fan and just the fact you watched that movie at your age is great. Keep on keeping on sir.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:15 | 1067741 Dolar in a vortex
Dolar in a vortex's picture

"... but he offered no details and said federal officials will be handling the situation."

He means Rahm.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:16 | 1067744 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Don't worry, it's cool. It's not like radiation can penetrate aluminum airline fuselages or anything.

So, I'm wondering how long it will take to contaminate every international airport?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:16 | 1067745 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

It's a good day in the market. No need to worry. USD/JPY might as well go offerless tonight. That'll even things out a bit better. Isn't that what we should expect?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:16 | 1067746 cluelessminion
cluelessminion's picture

Damn.  Just damn.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:17 | 1067749 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Now I'm beginning to think that never lettign a good crisis go waste, this is somehow going to be used as an attempt to thrus NWO agenda. In some huge way. Clearly, world populations are on edge, were even before Japan, now more so.

At such times, people gladly give up their freedumbs for a little security.

Which is always a chimera or short-term anyways.

And they set them off in Rahm town too.



Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:21 | 1067773 aheady
aheady's picture

Wondering that as well, ORI. Unreal.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:17 | 1067751 defn8Dog
defn8Dog's picture

Good thing they went digital with their cameras.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:17 | 1067754 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Finally!!!! A way to keep the TSA from sticking their fingers up your ass!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:33 | 1067835 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

"Finally!!!! A way to keep the TSA from sticking their fingers up your ass!"


Flying out of San Fran?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:03 | 1068546 knukles
knukles's picture

Into San Fran.... into my boy!
Excuse me Spartacus, but you can only bring one pair of leather chaps and two hand tooled leather decorative Cricso tubs duty free.   

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:18 | 1067758 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

i wonder what its like to be radio active..... i guess i will find out soon living in california and all

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067772 Mercury
Mercury's picture

It sounds like this.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:47 | 1067960 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Genius - Satisfaction Guaranteed of course

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067801 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

I lived on a nuke site for 2 years, nothing to worry about, except your left nut will get a little swollen.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:33 | 1067838 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Good, then it will finally match my right nut.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:46 | 1067953 Revolution_star...
Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:51 | 1067997 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Heeeeee's aaaaaaaaa

one balled man, with his pecker in his hand

and he don't give a damn, cause he's off to the rodeoooo.

Always loved that song, but you gotta be trinkin;)

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:22 | 1068158 HarryHaller
Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:19 | 1067759 RacerX
RacerX's picture

I'm not sure "radioactive fallout" is part of TSA's protocol.

As someone who's endured the "mad cow" airport screening from a decade or so ago with the shoes being checked, the long lines, etc. Heck, it was so ridiculous the Brits were making fun of us Yanks.. I find this amusing but yet disgusting. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067804 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They're too busy saving everyone from mouthwash and breast-milk.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:29 | 1067824 Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

We probably get more radiation going through the TSA detection gates.  Just one reason pilots and stews want exemptions from such.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067760 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Cut off all incoming flight from Tokyo is next.. The airlines are becoming radiation transport devices.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:18 | 1067761 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Dr. Christopher Bugsby said North Japan is now uninhabitable.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:19 | 1067764 Zé Cacetudo
Zé Cacetudo's picture

Kyodo News puts these up every so often; this is the latest one from Thursday night their time (at 1000 Thursday in California it's 0200 Friday in Japan):

Note the last part of the Reactor 4 update - "renewed nuclear chain reaction feared" - this means the fuel rods, which were all in the (now empty) storage pool due to maintenance, could heat up to the point where they resume fission by themselves. This doesn't mean the stuff turns into a nuclear bomb and goes bang, but rather that there's effectively an active nuclear reactor core sitting out in the open (since the roof and what appear to be most of the walls of that building have been blown off).

It apparently hasn't happened yet, but obviously that's one of the worst-case outcomes. Dropping water from helicopters/spraying it from trucks is nothing more than a PR stunt once you do the math on how much water those cooling pools hold and how much the choppers can carry or the trucks can spray (and that's assuming that they can even get the water into the pools in the first place, which they didn't). Given that nobody can control this, it's perhaps just a matter of some time until it happens.

Now have a look at this:

So we're probably going to see a small increase in radiation in North America, the west coast in particular. The only question is how much?

Here's a bit more background info on the subject:

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:29 | 1067823 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

Apparently, at least one of the spent fuel storage pool concrete side walls was destroyed in Unit 4.  That means that there is a 1/8-1/4" thick sheet of stainless steel liner retaining what is left of any water and fuel assemblies at that wall.  The liner is not designed to retain the force produced by a full pool of water, while the concrete wall is.  The liner is just that, a liner.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:19 | 1067765 Unlawful Justice
Unlawful Justice's picture

"but determined that the plane’s cargo and passengers were safe"

Because know one was throwing up green and red gut rot yet. ..........O.k?

I want to go back to sleep so I can escape this nightmare.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:21 | 1067767 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

I don't really understand what it is the people criticizing Obama think that he's going to do. He's the POTUS, not POJAP. If he'd come on TV before and said something you'd all be mocking his response no matter what. If they've offered assistance to the Japanese government, that's all there is to do. I'm not a fan of the man, but it's not really his responsibility. Don't give me this leader of the free world crap. What free world would that be?

Truth be told he's probably having conference calls with advisors on how to prevent the Japanese from selling treasuries.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:29 | 1067817 Hicham
Hicham's picture

+1 People blame Obama for everything, what I think he needs to do is be a little clearer on things, take a stand on issues and not be afraid of upsetting the republicans, because they're going to hate him anyways.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:56 | 1068037 Escapeclaws
Escapeclaws's picture

Oh you mean he might consider acting like a president?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:27 | 1069002 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Oh - you used the word 'president' ... I thought it was 'present' (as in voting 'present') ..

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:35 | 1067863 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

If hiding is the best Obama can do, so be it.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:10 | 1068361 ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

How about this:

When 1/3 of the world is on fire due to revolution and unrest, 1/3 of the world is glowing  with radiation, and the other 1/3 is unemployed, maybe going on ESPN to do an in depth analysis of your NCAA picks is not the best way to instill in people the idea that you give a flying fuck.

I'm not "blaming" him for anything, but I'm not sure it's possible for him to act more like he could care less.


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:34 | 1068464 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Yes, this. 

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:00 | 1068858 ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

How is the Baby?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 21:55 | 1069630 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

6 months old and happy as can be!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:17 | 1068611 Rick64
Rick64's picture

 Well said.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:05 | 1068895 ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

2 wrongs don't make a right.  While I'm no Bush apologist, I will him him credit for at least trying to hold office with some dignity.  I don't recall Bush making appearances on The View or the Tonight Show, and at least he gave a respectful reason for giving up the game of golf in the face of criticism.

I'm an equal opportunity hater, Rocky.  We all know who Bush was, he's gone.  Now I'm busy despising the current POSUS.

Fri, 03/18/2011 - 00:31 | 1070070 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Gotcha.   I just tend to be contrarian and that shows up when folks are piling on.   As I recall, ole Dubya go caught playing golf after his moratorium!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:32 | 1069021 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Those look like HufPo numbers:

BUT, some of those were working vacs, like: " Bush's stay there this past weekend with the the Danish prime minister  ..."

Does that compare with jetting off to destinations foreign or simply going off to golf?

Electorate will make that decision.




Thu, 03/17/2011 - 20:32 | 1069275 BenLightYear
BenLightYear's picture

I have to agree with you on this. No matter who is president and no matter what he says he is criticized. Take libya for example. If we would have instituted a no fly zone everyone would be yelling we are sticking our noes in another country's business. If he doesnt than everyone says he isnt supporting democracy and not helping those fighting for freedom. I disagree with some of the things he does and agree with others. At the end of the day nothing will satisfy the gloom and doomers. For awhile i thought maybe complete chaos and a system breakdown would keep you all happy however im sure you would bitch about something at that point also. “The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.” Churchill Wiser words could not be said even today

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:26 | 1067770 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Expect xenophobia to skyrocket. This is not going to be good for the Japanese. The usual idiots are going to demand no Japanese onboard their planes/schools/buildings.

Le Pen's daughter is about to replace scumbag Sarkozy.

Sarkozy has already proposed building concentration camps to incarcerate immigrants:

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:33 | 1067839 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

Don't be ignorant dude. Illegal aliens from Mexico are far more dangerous than radioactive Japanese. Plus, we know they won't drain our social services.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:07 | 1068095 still kicking
still kicking's picture

Between the pesticides, processed foods and all the other bullshit in the air and food supply a little radiation isn't really going to enhance my cancer chances more than they already are.  I'm thinking once everybody leaves northern Japan I might move in and just take a few hundred miles as my own, true freedom as no one is going to come force me to do a damn thing!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067774 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

It feels awful to laugh about this, but what else can you do?  Thousands, perhaps millions will die needlessly because, as the Jap PM so wonderfully said, "Retreat is not an option."

Well, they damn well better back up from that tar baby, or they will have the mother of all dirty bombs, soon. 

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:21 | 1067778 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

Live feed from Ohare, remain calm All is well:

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067781 Zé Cacetudo
Zé Cacetudo's picture

Apparently it wasn't just Chicago, but also DFW:

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:24 | 1067782 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Cancer FREE   thank the Lord

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067784 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

Does anyone know what the threshhold for radiation detection at the airport is?

How sensitive is the equipment used?


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:41 | 1067900 Blano
Blano's picture

Well, I'm pretty sure the threshold tomorrow will be higher than it was today.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:06 | 1068091 Cant see me
Cant see me's picture

+1  That's for sure

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:01 | 1068864 ShatteredArm
ShatteredArm's picture

Sensitive enough to occassionally be messed with by bananas.  Yes, ordinary, potassium-40 laced, household bananas.

An airport scanner detecting radiation on someone is not news, or cause for alarm.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:22 | 1067785 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

This is where the fun begins as security is forced to either turn off or reset their radiation alarms. If you reset how high do you go?

Much fun and popcorn in the next week.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:56 | 1068036 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

They have to do two things:

1) raise the threshhold, to a value that is fairly harmful, so you only catch those that will harm others.

...but someone will exceed it anyway next week, meaning serious fucking gamma at that point so you must ...

2) institute proceedures to silently whisk entire families into oblivion as they come off the planes.

Lead-lined coffins FTW. Let the games begin.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:54 | 1068302 flattrader
flattrader's picture

If reactor 3 spews MOX and the wind takes it to airports, those Japanese who had the foresight and wherewithall to leave may find themselves in a situation where their plane is refused permission to land at a commercial airport or they are kept on the tarmac indefinitely...and authorities are left to make it up as they go along.

Somehow I don't think we have a plan for a plane load of hot passengers contaminated with plutonium from Japan.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:24 | 1067791 redpill
redpill's picture

Well the other passengers must have felt really nice knowing they just spent 14 hours in a giant metal cylinder with radioactive material.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:30 | 1067821 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

lol...but it really isn't funny--it is tragic.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:23 | 1067793 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

how would you have liked sitting in a tube for 10 hours with these walking xray machines !!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067798 NERVEAGENTVX

But wait, wouldn't the flight time between Tokyo and O'Hare be enough for the decay of this fallout into non-dangerous isotopes?


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067800 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

Caller to Alex Jones show reports dozens of his friends in Japan are reporting symptoms of radiation sickness.  His friends all live in Chiba, which is close to Tokyo.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:02 | 1068073 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Acute anxiety could have similar symptoms as early radiation sickness (vomiting and nausea).

Later bouts of headache and fever, however, would be clinical indications and cause for alarm.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:03 | 1068083 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

sympathy psychos they are everywhere.


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:36 | 1069040 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Paid caller ... Alex buys his airtime too; and to think he started as a humble Austin Cable access rant 'n raver ...

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:26 | 1067807 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Perfectly  normal, perfectly safe, nothing to see, buy the S&P.  The magic extension cord will be in place soon....not to worry.

And as the incompetent government and the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street drone on with the absolute worst of advice [buy Apple just as the stock breaks down, for example], the Vix is saying it all...despite this heroic has barely budged.

As I have been telling you for over a week now, buy the VXX.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:25 | 1067808 Bubbles...bubbl...
Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

Send the to the FEMA camps.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:26 | 1067811 CustomersMan
CustomersMan's picture



     News Update From Wayne Madsen's site:


Radioactive plume heading for southern California. Friday arrival expected. Time for GE to spin the story through its NBC news washing machine.


     I just have one question: Did they really design the reactors with a cooling vessel above the reactor?      Can that possibly be?  Maybe I read something wrong.


      Maybe its just me but it doesn't sound like a sound idea.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:32 | 1067832 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Apparently is seemed like a good idea at the time . . .

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:00 | 1068057 Escapeclaws
Escapeclaws's picture

The problem is they bought GE whereas they should have bought Kenmore.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:29 | 1067815 Abraham Snake
Abraham Snake's picture

I think those Japanese girls are really hot, smoking hot, radioactive hot. No, I'm not figuratively speaking, I'm literally speaking. I mean some of those Japanese girls are literally radioactively hot, literally - too hot to handle, in a radioactive way.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:34 | 1067857 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

Flight of the Conchords: She's So Hot Boom


OMG she's so hot

She's so fucking hot she's like a curry

I want to tell her how hot she is

But she'll think I'm being sexest

She's so hot she's making me sexest


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:32 | 1067844 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

I miss the good old days of last month when all you had to worry about was Iran and Israel turning the Middle East into Mordor because of a family argument.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:05 | 1068085 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Nice visuals there.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:09 | 1068102 still kicking
still kicking's picture

I love the Mordor reference

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:34 | 1067859 romanko
romanko's picture

OMG! I'm scared shitless now - had sushi last night for dinner, am I ok?

Is it too late to have one those pills?

Am I on a no-fly list now?

I drive a mazda, should I avoid OEM parts next time it's serviced?

When will it be safe to visit Chicago again?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:41 | 1067907 redpill
redpill's picture

Radiation is the least of your worries in Chicago!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:36 | 1067866 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

It would be nice if the Chicago mayor would go give all of these people a big Chicago hug......

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:40 | 1067890 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

He's waiting until they hit the showers.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:52 | 1067991 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

But, first, a big Chicago hug for the TSA agents.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:42 | 1067895 Hang The Fed
Hang The Fed's picture

I wonder how long it took the dipshits at the TSA to make the connection between "radiation" and "Tokyo."  My guess is that came long after they had cavity-searched at least a hundred or so people.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:48 | 1067963 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

My husband set off the radiation detector at a nuke plant last month.  He had to surrender all his clothes and shoes and went back to his hotel in paper scrubs.  The next day he was talking to the  plant guy in the detection area about what had happened.  My husband was asked if he had washed his clothes in Tide detergent (I do!).  He was told that people who's clothes have been washed in Tide always set off the detector.  Just thought this was the place to share the story.  Can't find anything on radioactive Tide...but perhaps it has something to do with phosphates?  P&G is very secretive about their ingredients.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:53 | 1067999 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

If you were the government the solution would be to stop washing his clothes.....period. So he stinks a little bit. (Wo)man up!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:55 | 1068024 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i bought a big box of Tide at the Super yesterday, because it was marked down like 50%, but not sure about the shelf life, or half life as it may be.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:54 | 1068300 velobabe
velobabe's picture

use Borox, tide is toxic.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:51 | 1067990 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

"we have to maintain the institution" - 9/11 commissioner-bitch

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:55 | 1068021 Oquities
Oquities's picture

here we go!  i see another special interest group about to be formed.  "no taxation with radiation discrimination."

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:56 | 1068025 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

For a break  have a look at eagle cam..2 eaglets are in the nest.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:52 | 1068288 mt paul
mt paul's picture

eagle cam 

too cool ..


wonder if eagles 

taste like chicken ..

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:56 | 1068027 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture


Thu, 03/17/2011 - 15:57 | 1068043 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

nice time for some terrorist to be sneaking in some nuclear material in their shoes, oh wait a minute.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:12 | 1068113 polizeros
polizeros's picture

It's getting increasingly hard to do satire nowadays...

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:14 | 1068124 Quicksilver
Quicksilver's picture

Excuse me while I show my ignorance of basic Physics and ask a stupid question - how far are they from the conditions for nuclear fusion in the reactor? They may have highly pressurised hydrogen either in the building thats still intact or in the core, they have high temperatures, and high velocity nuclear particles. I know its not that simple, but is there a risk?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:25 | 1068167 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Conditions for fusion are found at inside the Sun. Only much more so.

We're a long ways from that. About 100 million degress K away I would think.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:46 | 1068265 honestann
honestann's picture

Nuclear fusion in those reactors is impossible.

Nuclear fission happens all the time, even in shut down reactors.

Tiny amounts of nuclear fission occurs inside your body constantly.

By far the biggest risk is plutonium dust or vapor getting into the air, one microgram of which will kill you dead.  The "spent" fuel rods in those damaged or destroyed pools contains some plutonium, which is created when fission process converts some uranium to plutonium.  They may also have some "spent" fuel rods in some of those pools that were originally 7% plutonium, but I have not yet seen that admitted or denied.

If those rods burn or vaporize and get into the atmosphere (which they are now exposed to in many of the ponds), that is extremely serious for everyone downwind (which means everyone in the northern hemisphere to varying degrees).

Don't worry about fusion.  Don't worry too much about radiation.  If you want to worry, worry about being poisoned to death by 1/1000 of a spec of dust of plutonium, or possibly given cancer by 1/1000 of that.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:05 | 1068891 ShatteredArm
ShatteredArm's picture

Plutonium is heavy, and as such, won't likely make it across an ocean.  All bets are off for Tokyo.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 21:46 | 1069589 honestann
honestann's picture

Yes, plutonium is quite heavy.  However, when particle sizes become small enough, as in smoke or vapor, that doesn't much matter.  Big pieces like grains of sand can't get far.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:21 | 1068151 romanko
romanko's picture

we need a detector for early-stage Idiocracy.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:32 | 1068206 Blankman
Blankman's picture

Its Chicago, we just put a tax on the radiation and let them through the gates.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:32 | 1068207 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

US Military evacuating all families


Don't panic!

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:34 | 1068213 mt paul
mt paul's picture

Tokyo Passengers Set Off O'Hare Radiation Detectors


if this head line

was not

so terribly sad


it would be funnie ..

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:42 | 1068246 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

On Johnston Atoll back in the early 90's, the Army Chemical Command had a whole team trying to secure the parts of the island that were contaminated when a few missiles went bang on the launch pads back in the fifities, and spread the contents of a few "physics packages" - including plutonium, all over the place. Well, the once a year DNA survey team came out and scanned the island, and the hottest place they found (outside the plutonium yard) was a hot spot on the floor of the kitchen in the chow hall. Seems one of the cooks liked to hang out down at the yard and watch the high-tech machines try to separate fly shit from black to speak. He tracked in a particle of plutonium and it stuck in a crack in the linoleum. I as I recall, it did not seem to improve the food, but it did get everybody who had been in the chow hall in the last year a free full-body scan.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:43 | 1068255 SME MOFO
SME MOFO's picture

Are these some kind of generalized area detectors or are they measuring people getting off of planes?  This is wierd, I'm confused.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:47 | 1068274 honestann
honestann's picture

Not good.

Isn't it wonderful that we cannot trust a single word uttered by anyone in any government or large corporation?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:49 | 1068279 velobabe
velobabe's picture

i don't understand. these people passed the radiation detectors in one of the japanese airports? then it must grow or elevate in degree levels on the way over which is, about 12 hrs (?) ride. then they set off the ones in O'Hare. seems suspect.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:28 | 1068447 flattrader
flattrader's picture

or the Japanese adjusted their detectors to compensate for low level radiation due to the disaster.

If you are a Japanese airport director, do you really want alarms going off or security people pulling boarding passengers out of line?  Do you really want to be the one to say, "We need to do a cavity search on you before you board." ?


Do you just want to shove their asses on the plane to avoid panic and let the authorities deal with it when they disembark?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:38 | 1068471 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

It's called getting the fuck out of dodge by any means possible...  Would a government who is lying to everyone about radiation levels even test or allow the results of tests at airports to be made public?  Would they really try and keep the people loaded in planes on the island to die?  [the difference between passive and active murder].  Also, the standard for acceptable levels of radiation may be different at the airport ;)

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:14 | 1068595 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

Maybe they shut off the radiation detectors in Japan when they got tired of the constant sound of sirens going off.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:53 | 1068298 Hollywood
Hollywood's picture

Can the iphone detect radiation?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 16:56 | 1068309 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

You receive a lot of natural background radiation on an intercontinental flight. Far more than they received from the nuclear incident.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:40 | 1068475 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Well, they obviously received a bit more if they set off scanners and none of their fellow travelers did.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:17 | 1068401 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

The government only loses more and more trust from the people when shit like this goes down-- looks like the spread of radiation has already begun, but unlike BP we'll be able to track the environmental carnage a little easier when people start getting sick in Japan, Asia, and who knows where else.

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 17:18 | 1068404 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

The Financial Times showed the POTUS in this brilliant light:

Inside Obama’s not-at-war room

By Robert Shrimsley

Published: March 16 2011 21:49 | Last updated: March 16 2011 21:49

The leader of the free world is debating Libyan intervention with his closest advisers.

Obama: So what are we going to do to support the Arab democrats?; background-position: 2px 0.5em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;">EDITOR’S CHOICE Opinion: The west will rue not helping Libya’s rebels - Mar-16 Editorial: Trouble in Yemen - Mar-16 Shadow of Iraq could leave Libya rebels in dark - Mar-16 Editorial: Libya’s rebels need more - Mar-15 Opinion: Only a no-drive zone can stop Gaddafi’s forces now- Mar-15 In depth: Middle East protests - Mar-16

Which ones.

The ones in Libya. They are taking a shellacking.

Actually, Mr President, our intelligence has classified it as a hammering; Secretary Gates is not ready to upgrade it to a shellacking.

When will he be ready to do that?

After they’ve been crushed, sir.

Shouldn’t we be helping democrats against a brutal dictatorship?

Are we sure they are democrats, Mr President?

Second aide: Didn’t we do this meeting last month?

That was Egypt. . . or Tunisia.

Obama: Well, that seemed to work out; what did we do then?

We positioned ourself carefully behind the curve and immediately backed whatever had happened the day before. It was cost-effective and it worked, sir. Your strategy of protracted hesitation has paid dividends in a number of theatres.

David Plouffe prefers to call it the evaluate-and-decide strategy.

I apologise Mr President, I thought that was our Afghan strategy. I understood we’d moved on to an “evaluate and then evaluate some more” strategy here.

The forces in Benghazi may only have a few days left.

Yes Sir, the Secretary hopes this problem will be off your desk by Friday.

So don’t we need to act now? What about a no-fly zone.

Secretary Gates is strongly in favour of a no-fly zone, Mr President. He says all talk of intervention must be shot down immediately. He advises we do all we can to assist the rebels short of actually helping them.

I have spoken out many times on the need for Gaddafi to go.

Yes Mr President, Secretary Gates has long felt that your words can speak louder than our actions. He added that should you wish to make an inspiring speech on the matter, he’d very much like to be there.

Obama: What are the risks of intervening in Libya?

The risk is that we face another Iraq where we are dragged into a foreign war from which we cannot extricate ourselves. What’s more, there’s also strong evidence that democrats would not support it.

Really, which democrats?

The ones in New Hampshire, Sir. There is also the issue of double standards Mr President. Can we be seen to support rebels in one place while acquiescing in their suppression somewhere else.

We must back hope against fear; fright against might; the oppressed against the oppressors.

Is that everywhere, Sir, or on a case by case basis?

Which case did you have in mind?




I see your point.

As you know Mr President, the Saudis have already gone in to quell the protests in Bahrain. They will not let the Crown Prince fall.

That doesn’t sound good. What influence can we bring to bear?

We’ve told the Saudis to use restraint, Sir.

What does that mean?

They’ll try not to kill anyone on camera and restrict brutal crackdowns to the hours of darkness.

That seems a measured approach. We must be careful about the signal we send to our ruling friends and allies in the region. They need to know we will not desert them in their hours of need; that America is a true and loyal friend. They need to know that we will not cut and run at the first whiff of trouble.

No Sir.

We want them to know that we only cut and run when trouble hits at least its second or third whiff.

Yes Mr President.

OK, now what am I going to do about the Europeans. David Cameron is leaving lots of messages with my secretary. I’ll have to get back to him sooner or later.

The Brits are pressing for a no-fly zone over Libya.

That’s pretty easy to do when you’ve abolished the Royal Air Force What’s he planning to police it with, a British Airways 737? Thank you for joining us on this routine patrol; we will be circling Benghazi for a few hours. Insurgents are invited to help themselves to snacks and drinks from our trolleys.

The French are also demanding actual intervention, Mr President.

We’re being out-hawked by the French?

We think it’s empty rhetoric, Sir.

I’m being outgunned on rhetoric?

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 19:41 | 1069063 chindit13
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