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Transcript And Word Cloud Of The FOMC's "Historic" First Ever Media Pantomime

Tyler Durden's picture


"Mr. Chairman, first, thanks for doing this. This is a tremendous development." Steve Liesman

Word cloud 1: Chairman Ben's prepared remarks:

Word cloud 2: Q&A between Ben and various sock so called journalists, all of whom were terrified to ask the questions the entire nation needed asked:

Full transcript:



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Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:27 | 1213420 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Pathetic. I'd rather watch carebears than that staged/scripted bullshit ever again.

"Mr. Bernanke, would you agree that unicorns have glow in the dark boners, and their girth varies dependent on the time of year and proximity to your ever-so-glorious asshole?"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:30 | 1213439 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I wish he had talked longer. Did you see what he did to Gold and Silver?

Gold hit another all time high and Silver may take out the Hunt Brothers high tonight sometime.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:37 | 1213479 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

I could've sworn silver hit $49.79 and broke the Hunt brothers $49.45?

Am I wrong? I saw gold and silver take off though, but whatever, you and me both know this shit's far from being over.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:54 | 1213572 tmosley
tmosley's picture

High daily close, but not an all time daily high, which was $49.45.  The interday all time high was $50.35, IIRC.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:02 | 1213608 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Seen this lately tmoz? 73.30 and falling...

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 00:09 | 1214823 tiger7905
tiger7905's picture

72.95 now. Being one with significant bullion exposure, I have to ask the question, "All in favor of Bernanke giving a speech tomorrow say aiy?" Too bad we'll have to wait weeks for another press conference, these should become a weekly event and we could get gold/silver over $2000/$100 in no time.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 01:12 | 1214898 rocker
rocker's picture

The pitiful thing is pathetic Steve never had his question answered as asked.  Chess Game did not get a laugh either.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:26 | 1213918 Population Bubble
Population Bubble's picture

You worry about the wrong things, silly ant. The warming in the Arctic has reached incredible levels and is likely to have already triggered the "Methane Gun".

And no, I will not offer to kill myself, but I will take your offer to kill yourself if you promise to take other sheeple and some industrial infrastructure with you.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:35 | 1213482 malusDiaz
malusDiaz's picture

Here is the "Interpreted Fed Speech":


(Hat tip to a fellow ZHer!)

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:19 | 1213898 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

did he say anything earth shattering?  heck it sounded like he was sitting in the conference room talking to congress.  very boring.  why have a special media event for this?   i sat there waiting and waiting......blah blah blah.....


it is funny they were showing gold and silver spot prices more often than they usually do.  its a new world......


then lies man gets on his knees and kisses some serious ass.......good grief.......

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:28 | 1213442 the mad hatter
the mad hatter's picture

back in the old days, a mob with pitchforks would have dragged old bernie out on the street and held their own "Q&A session"


but alas, we live in times of infinidistractions- celebrity news, facebook, and iPadz that keep the population tame.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:03 | 1213618 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I would have watched but I was frantically searching teh interwebs trying to find out if Obama's birth certificate really should have had an embossed stamp on it or not.



Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:30 | 1213721 snakeboat
snakeboat's picture

Heh - Teh Karl is flipping out too...

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:39 | 1213763 oncebitten
Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:38 | 1213500 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Your question should be posed at the next FOMC meeting - would be the only reasonable question asked - +10 - truly pathetic

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:56 | 1213582 Vesica Pisces
Vesica Pisces's picture

Cliff Notes version of the speech:

The Fed will continue to monetize the debt we currently hold as far into the future as it takes to screw you, your children, and your great grandchildren; however, we are putting Congress on notice that we will not, I repeat NOT, monetize any new debt Congress creates going forward. (Or maybe we will when you're all not looking.)

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:02 | 1213609 LaLiLuLeLo
LaLiLuLeLo's picture

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:00 | 1213614 LaLiLuLeLo
LaLiLuLeLo's picture

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:23 | 1213697 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

The last couple of days the ScribD documents are unreadable.  It looks like ScribD doesn't have the right font and just shows a bunch of squares for letters? 

What is the fix for this problem?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:56 | 1213815 theopco
theopco's picture

- it's proabaly your browser

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:25 | 1213422 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Ben is an idiot

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:36 | 1213483 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Agreed Blythe - what was frightening was his lack of shame - he lies too easily - despite the nerves he displayed - The AUDACITY of BEN - HOW DARE HE MENTION a STRONG USD - If he were Pinocchio his nose would have grown so quickly that it would have torn his skin off! What a disgrace he is...No better reason to End the Fed -

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:57 | 1213599 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

But didn't you know??? It's the Treasury's role to protect the value of the dollar!

alright Ben, since you insist, we will just go ahead and default on every Treasury you've monitized and not pay a lick of interest to you and your PD buddies!

Ron Paul explained to Cramer how we don't owe the FED any interest and Jimmy almost drop on the floor in fear!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:05 | 1213630 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

But didn't you know??? It's the Treasury's role to protect the value of the dollar!*



* Insofar as existing elite wealth is protected. Some restrictions may apply.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:25 | 1213714 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

Ben is an idiot

Yes, but he sure can talk some shit.  And he took a lot more than 20 questions; 28 by my count.  Give that man a Nobel prize.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:36 | 1213749 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

The Nobel Peace prize is already priced into QE3.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:18 | 1213891 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"Heck of a job, Bennie!"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:28 | 1213426 Bear
Bear's picture

No more QE after June ... very bullish ... go figure

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:30 | 1213455 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture

What did he say that leads one to believe there will be no more QE after June?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:36 | 1213489 Bear
Bear's picture

He said no more bond purchases ... I think organized, regular POMOs (600B) created the stream of consistent juice flow

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:43 | 1213513 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Absolutely Bear & NO ONE...I mean NOT ONE 'reporter' asked about the Fed' version of 'Flip this Bond' (POMO) - Free Press my a$$ - Wall Street...K Street, where the hell are the terrorists when you REALLY need them?!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:40 | 1213767 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

They are threatening NOT to blow up the debt ceiling! Didn't you hear?!?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:45 | 1213542 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture

Where?  He didn't even mention the word "bond."

He said he would "complete" the $600bln but didn't specifically say that purchases would stop.

Unless I'm blind/dumb and just missed it...

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:53 | 1213569 Bear
Bear's picture

I believe the 'regularity' of the purchases provided a floor under the market (equities) since participants knew (know) when each is coming. I think the data will bear this out. I don't believe for a minute that they will not continue to buy bonds, but without the regularity, I think more volitility and even an ocassional slide will be on the way 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:56 | 1213595 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture

I understand now thanks :)

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:37 | 1213496 duncecap rack
duncecap rack's picture

I was thinking that way too.

Another thing I am beginning to think is that the euro is about to take a hit. That would explain Ben being so uninterested in the question about the dollar. If he knew Greece was going to announce a restucturing or something after the hit the yen is taking there really would not be a reason to worry about the dollar.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:41 | 1213958 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Of course, that might just inspire massive new european buying of precious metals which will make the prices rise and the dollar look bad just the same.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:28 | 1213433 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Dear Ben, did you know that if you removed your beard you would look like a heroin addict! Maybe that explains your quivering speech

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:27 | 1213440 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

QE3 cometh.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:29 | 1213448 NotAllowed
NotAllowed's picture

Exactly, hence gold and silvers moves, just gonna call it something else.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:30 | 1213452 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

DXY headed to zero, and no one cares.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:28 | 1213443 akak
akak's picture

Allow me to summarize Ben Bankruptke's little kabuki theater of a press conference:

"Here, Ben, catch this marshmallow!"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:44 | 1213532 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Listening to him twist and torture words I was thinking this is nothing but "verbal diarrhea".

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:59 | 1213605 akak
akak's picture

Oh look, how cute --- I got "junked' by Ben and Timmay!

I always knew you guys read ZeroHedge!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:08 | 1213642 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

lol!  +2

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:31 | 1213444 weenus
weenus's picture


this was actually the PERFECT presser...perfect...



Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:29 | 1213446 weltvermesser
weltvermesser's picture

who need journalists. you can`t eat them, or can you?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:34 | 1213462 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Don't eat the brain or spine. Doing so will give you the shakes.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:25 | 1213700 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

The hands aquire shakes...
the shakes become a warning.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:09 | 1213648 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Yes you can, and the price per twelve pack has stayed the same while each individual journalist has improved flavor, thus proving that inflation is in check.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:32 | 1213449 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture

Honestly the following line makes it sound as if they're leaving the QE question open...

Of course, going forward, the committee will regularly review the size and composition of its securities holdings in light of incoming information, and is prepared to adjust those holdings as needed to meet the Federal Reserve's mandate.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:38 | 1213487 DosZap
DosZap's picture fear, QE3 is near!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:39 | 1213497 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

You pegged it....


QE3 cometh.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:33 | 1213451 hambone
hambone's picture


BTW - anybody calling for a dollar bounce now?  Nahhh, didn't think so.  Looks more like dollars been dumped in the river w/ lead weights in it's pockets.

Blub blub blub.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:36 | 1213476 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

hah, agreed...everything is transitory! 


The dollar is looking pretty transitory right now, that's for sure. 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:37 | 1213493 hambone
hambone's picture

I wonder if the Chinese, Japanese holdings of dollars will also be transitory tonight resulting in a pernicious outflow of $ into PM's???

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 22:22 | 1214628 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I'm wondering when Jesse's Cafe Amercain is gonna move this chart to semi-log:


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:30 | 1213454 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

TD was there a drinking game occurring during the Bernank's sitcom? It seems everytime he mentioned 'strong dollar' the FX markets took a shot & dumped USD! I hope someone prevents him from speaking each month because the USD will approach zero in absolutely NO TIME - what a f&cking clown! A true embarrassment - at least Liesman appreciated the Bernank's 'conference' - a real development indeed!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:03 | 1213621 nevadan
nevadan's picture

Now we know Liesman can say thank-you with a mouth full.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:31 | 1213457 weltvermesser
weltvermesser's picture

for every precios metal investor, Chairsatan speaking = ++ instant Wealth Effect ++

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:36 | 1213472 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

So I suppose "the end is near" wasn't mentioned enough.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:34 | 1213474 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

"'s not clear we can get substantial improvements in payrolls without some additional inflation risk..."

“I think he knocked the ball out of the park,” Diane Swonk, chief economist at Mesirow Financial...


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:46 | 1213528 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Perhaps Diane Swonk was referring to Tompkins Square Park

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:34 | 1213475 AAPL_Short
Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:39 | 1213488 AAPL_Short
AAPL_Short's picture

"You can tell from the way that I told that I am a woman's man"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:35 | 1213480 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Well that was predictable

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:43 | 1213498 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:46 | 1213531 schadenfreude
schadenfreude's picture

MAIDEN!!!!!! Bitchez

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:40 | 1213501 proLiberty
proLiberty's picture

Gold up $20+  (~1.3%) is all I need to know about this kabuki session.


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:39 | 1213505 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

The Bernak answers gas prices are a function of supply and demand and the FED has little control.  Several questions later, he states QE2 is working since they saw an increase in stock prices.  Interesting how supply and demand are selective in what price they choose to control.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:46 | 1213983 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture


Too bad our fourth estate is so pathetically ignorant and meek that they can't manage a simple follow up about these inconsistencies in his lies.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:41 | 1213506 falak pema
falak pema's picture

tell me when the asset arbitrage will begin. We are seeing a rise in ALL assets at the expense of the USD. This is NOT normal. Markets must adjust. But when?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:02 | 1213615 A Man without Q...
A Man without Qualities's picture

Look at the deficits in public sector pension funds.  Look at the return assumptions, then look at the returns they need to be fully funded.  It's so screwed it's not funny, but the view is it is "easier" to try and manipulate assets higher, as the alternative would be to bail them out or cut benefits.  

Of course, the next question is when they come to sell these assets, who the hell is going to buy them?  I don't think they care to look that far ahead.

When the dam breaks, it's going to wash a lot of people away...

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:42 | 1213510 bania
bania's picture

Looks like gold and silver had their own press conference this aft.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:46 | 1213526 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

It wasnt a press conference per se since there was no Q&A.  Rather it was a "released statement"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:57 | 1213600 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I think you meant "rehearsed statement".


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:44 | 1213518 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

One of the things that we include is the views of the participants on the amount of uncertainty there is in the forecast going forward. And I think I can say without too much fear of giving away the secret that FOMC participants do see quite a bit of uncertainty in the world going forward. - Ben Bernanke

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 01:31 | 1214915 rocker
rocker's picture

It is admiral that you have Ben's God father watching his words.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:44 | 1213529 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

the word transitory is lacking in either cloud and I heard it several times, so much so that it became the subject of another post.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:02 | 1213610 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

+100 - Transitory can be defined as a term used by the kleptocracy to obscure/avoid accountability -

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:44 | 1213530 macholatte
macholatte's picture

(from a Marketwatch synopsis)

He also said that one of the first steps the Fed would take when exiting the accommodative policy would be to stop investing the proceeds from maturing securities.

Are we to believe that this is THE exit strategy? It does make sense to a degree. It would take years to complete but mitigate any "losses" from increased rates. Such a plan should pacify the Chinese but I would have thought that the various central bankers would have already known this.

No more QE and everything continues to behave like it did last week.

Confusing, Yes??


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:58 | 1213601 Bear
Bear's picture

Bullish sentiment is on a roll, so this press conference represented a 'risk' to the majority of players (bulls) because of his fear of no more zirp. So when its over, fear removed, have at it again with both hands

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:45 | 1213539 fuu
fuu's picture

Srangely enough, "Kick DangerTime in the taint till he pukes blood" is not in there.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:52 | 1213561 Racer
Racer's picture

The Fed... now to be known as the Inflation Committee by the ChairSatan's own words


If you want to have more accurate English, then the 'Inflationary Committed Maniacs Board' would be even more appropriate

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:54 | 1213576 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

QUESTION:Do you think (inaudible) will be several months away?

BERNANKE:It depends on the outlook. The committee will have to make a judgment.

(inaudible)= Armageddon?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:27 | 1213917 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:57 | 1213588 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

New highs across the board in everything.

Kind of knew this coming, that's why I was loaded up 100% long at the last low when everyone was laughing at me.

New buys today:  SIL and NE.  Sold my JNJ after a fast 5 point gain in a week.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:35 | 1213637 akak
akak's picture

Yes, it's Ben's Magic Wealth Effect --- free money for everyone!

Actually, dipshit, your beloved stock market is flat in REAL terms over the last year, as opposed to the nominal terms that a mental midget such as yourself can only see, and is DOWN in real terms both since 2007 as well as over the last ten years.  So go jerk off with your Lululemon stocks.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:06 | 1213644 d00daa
d00daa's picture


So now, only after The Bernank's presser is over and everything explodes upward, you confess to being "100% long at the last low."

Kaltbaum and Quint Tatro are laughing their asses off at you.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:48 | 1213799 Highrev
Highrev's picture

Think I'd be looking for an exit if I were you Robot. You know what they say, sell into strength, or in this case, what's left of it. ;-)

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:56 | 1213596 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

+100 on posting that transcript.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:57 | 1213597 Prof Gulliver
Prof Gulliver's picture

I think there were harder questions asked in an Adolf Hitler news conference.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:02 | 1213613 Misean
Misean's picture

There are harder questions asked in special lerning classes at the elementary level.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:00 | 1213612 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

Are you folks really concerned how this game will play out?  Still too many of you non-chalant and comfortable in your temporary riches.  I wonder how many really feel safe and secure...even those sitting on their pile of silver or gold.  Here's a perfect example of how the government uses force and intimidation on behalf of the mega-corporations.  Its fascism and I wonder how long it will be before more catch on.  Cuddle that silver and gold every night...cause I'm virtually certain that soon someone will be asking for it, and you'll have a choice between your PM or your life.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:19 | 1213683 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Comfortable? I'm betting this blog ranks pretty high in gun ownership, as say compared to commentors on HuffPo, or Salon.

As for the armed stormtroopers, well what else does one expect criminals to do? They're busy demonizing unwanted competition via CODEX in order to ensure their stranglehold over the population. If it appears we aren't concerned, well, we've seen this behavior like... for ever and ever. It's just the newest version of the jack-booted thug stepping on a human face forever.

Besides, involvement in political issues is just the ole divide and conquer trap (creating the "Do something!" mandate). The only thing I want any government to do, is to cease and desist. But since the sheeple still vote, they won't, so my blathering on about it does nothing.

Instead, I do the best I can to prepare myself and others within my sphere of influence.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:32 | 1213731 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

about jackboot thugs and preparing... I read a post elsewhere a few months back about an individual who was playing around with building 4" and  6" bore muzzleloaders from schedule 160 black iron pipe.

He was theorizing on their use as "stack whackers"...   to be staged inside and bore-sighted on entrances to demoralize SWAT type "stacks" during unwanted dynamic entry.

++ to you idea about contributors here vs. huffpo and salon.  Not all metals are created the same.  Or mettles.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 19:03 | 1213942 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

well of course they'll take the guns first, before they come asking for the gold.  Schumer is going to be sure that is in place.  Who in their right mind would defend their gold with a gun against a criminal organization that stretches around the world.  Maybe a loner would take the death sentence, but those with families would certainly (but reluctantly) forfeit their gold.  The "bosses" of the criminal regime could care less whether you get hurt or the (confiscating) officer gets hurt.  They are all just expendable in his mind.  One thing you'll learn as you get older is that "you take the fight to them when you know a fight is coming".  Otherwise, you are trapped in a defensive posture with few alternatives.  But with the mindset in America of "every man for himself" I don't think the criminal bosses will have too difficult of a time gathering up what they want.

Here's a good example of the trained goons who will likely be darkening your doorway soon.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 20:06 | 1214215 Montgomery Burns
Montgomery Burns's picture

You equate that with govt thugs confiscating individuals gold and silver? Kind of a stretch in my opinion.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 01:00 | 1214885 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

We'll see big guy. 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:03 | 1213620 Verum
Verum's picture

Did anyone else catch this part when bernanke was responding to the abc feel good question: central banks around the world held press conferences for years... so we thought it would be a good idea because WE have experience doing this.

Ok so I took the first we as the fed and the second WE as the central banking group. Does this mean Ben considers himself and therefore the fed as a part of a larger group rather than an independent body that is supposed to operate just in the interest of the united states economy?

I didn't go back and listen to his response so I may be off, but this immediately threw up a red flag for me.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:08 | 1213646 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The word you're looking for is BIS. Not only is he on the board, it gives him complete legal immunity for his actions.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:24 | 1213696 LudwigVon
LudwigVon's picture

I heard him slip on that as well.

caareful at the conferences Ben...

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:05 | 1213625 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I should've known that LIESman would win the Jeff Gannon Award.

QUESTION: Mr. Chairman, first, thanks for doing this. This is a tremendous development.      

There are critics who say that Fed policy has driven down the value of the dollar and a lower value to the dollar reduces American standard of living.      

How do you respond to the criticism that essentially Fed policy has reduced American standard of living?

You couldn't imitate Gannon more if you spent the night in the White House.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 19:00 | 1214023 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

"And, Mr. Chairman, sir?  I saw a couple polyps while I was up there.  You might want to have your proctologist take a look at them."

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:03 | 1213629 Bear
Bear's picture

Ben kept talking about his 'Mandate' ... I didn't know he was gay

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:06 | 1213649 Misean
Misean's picture

He and Stevey just hang out at the gym and spot each other. Don't go spreading salacious rumors.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:11 | 1213661 Bear
Bear's picture

I think you're right ... I think he needs to just go to the gym and hang there

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:16 | 1213877 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

it's not the gym, it's the Gay Bar... they're both rotund and baldy, always last left propping up the bar end of the night still waiting to be 'picked' which is how they know each other

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:19 | 1213893 akak
akak's picture

"Ooh yeah, give it to me Ben .... oh yeah, like that ..... ease it in there quantitatively ...... ooh baby, that's the way! ..... deeper .... fuck that dollar good ..... oh yeah! ..... shit yeah ..... screw those savers! ..... give it to me man .... SHOOT THAT STIMULUS!!!"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:06 | 1213643 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Quantitative Easing cannot end. If it does, it simply resets back to the purpose it was first created for. Infinite Regression bitchez.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:14 | 1213669 Captain Planet
Captain Planet's picture

so you believe us now? Robot?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:17 | 1213684 Thunder Dome
Thunder Dome's picture

Steve Liesman is my nomination for the Troll Hall of Fame.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:24 | 1213685 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Congressman Ron Paul's Official Statement on Federal Reserve Press Conference

"Chairman Bernanke's press conference today was unprecedented, and it demonstrates that Federal Reserve officials are very concerned about growing public criticism of Fed policies.  Although Mr. Bernanke predictably provided no substantive information, the American people want real answers about Fed bailouts, lending to foreign banks, and most of all inflation.  Mr. Bernanke continues to ignore his culpability for the inflation all Americans suffer due to the Fed's relentless monetary expansion.  Rising prices are the direct result of Fed devaluation of our dollar.  Yet rather than addressing the Fed's loose dollar policy, Mr. Bernanke continues to assure us that inflation is not a problem. 

Without the Federal Reserve's relentless expansion of credit throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, there could have been no excessive borrowing or explosion of subprime lending.  Through easy credit, the Fed initiated the economic boom that created the dot-com bubble.  When that bubble burst the Fed pumped additional liquidity into the system, which led to a new boom that created the housing bubble.  Commodity prices have risen rapidly, producer prices have followed suit and consumers are already seeing the beginning of massive price increases passed on to them.  And now the Fed's additional trillions of dollars in monetary pumping is creating yet another bubble.  This is the exact opposite of stability in the marketplace and has nothing to do with free markets. It is central economic planning at its worst. And the end result may be hyperinflation and the destruction of our currency.

Now Americans are waking up to the dangers of the Fed's inflationary monetary policy, and they want it to stop.  Today's staged press conference will not be enough to stop the growing demand for real Fed transparency, and I hope to build on that grassroots demand by passing legislation that will result in a true audit of the Fed's activities. Support from my colleagues was vital in the last Congress in making progress towards Fed transparency, and I hope to build on that support in this Congress.  It is well past time that we begin to rein in the Fed."

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:41 | 1213957 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

If I were R. Paul, I would be making my flight arrangements as late as possible.  If he is for real, and not another good cop (vs. bad cop), they'll need to tame him of his verbal tongue lashings.  I really have zero confidence in any Congress critter.  They all look the same to me!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:17 | 1213687 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

I don't know if I should laugh or cry...!!!

The longer that YOU'S AMERICAN CITIZEN'S, allow that Non Federal/No Reserves /for profit /Corporation standing where it is,the more I believe,your fate is sealed...!!!!

Wake the FUCK UP...!!!!!!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:22 | 1213691 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

So... US breaks debt ceiling TOMORROW... and friday there's the space shuttle launch + royal wedding...


You can bet it would be the perfect day for a big US dollar crash...

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:24 | 1213698 AboutAverage
AboutAverage's picture

Steve Lies! man! - that says a million right there.

What a suckass wussy nerd TOOL.  If this guy had his nose any further up the Bernak's crank, he would have to send the FED a bill for a proctology exam. 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:36 | 1213747 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Steve "Leash"man

For a second there I thought he was going to genuflect and kiss Bernanke's ring.


Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:48 | 1213797 akak
akak's picture

I was almost expecting that asswipe Liesman to run up and plant a big fat wet one on Bernanke's quivering lips.  But that, of course, would have exposed the deeply-worn rugburns on his pants.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 02:36 | 1214955 cowpieflapjack
cowpieflapjack's picture

Hopefully he'd have been smart enough to leave his shoe laces untied so they would have something to pull him out by.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:27 | 1213719 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

If they end QE who will buy the market?

The T's?

Who will be the dip)shit) to buy?

Hey, fuck it, my beer is the same price and my silver is up.

Man can live on beer, alone.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 08:55 | 1215375 Bitch Tits
Bitch Tits's picture

"my beer is the same price"

Oddly enough, so is my Wild Turkey. What kind of a world is this when everything goes up exept for the pacifiers? 

This all looks curiouser and curiouser . . . Good-bye, feet!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:30 | 1213724 Gimp
Gimp's picture

Steve is going to have to be surgically removed from the chairstans corn hole at the end of his reign.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:33 | 1213732 velobabe
velobabe's picture

M A N d a t e, bitchez with magic sticks.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:32 | 1213735 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

If we really have had enough of Ben and the Fed' there's one immensly powerful action we can do (together) that, at the least, would send a message showing how serious we are.  I just can't mention what it is explicitly - but it's something we have to do together en masse.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:37 | 1213755 g speed
g speed's picture

things he said--- the 600b will run out in june-- rollover will start but some will not be repurchased and so will drop off the books-- FED is lowering amount of paper in its portfolio. (china talk)

second little item-- Ben said we don't have any tools for targeting long term unemployment.  A bomb shell cause the fed mandate is two fold --stable money and low unemployment. Ben basically said "its your problem"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:42 | 1213774 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Well quite obviously "Inflation" is the hot topic. Which of course it should be, it is running absolutely rampant!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:42 | 1213776 tmftdoyle
tmftdoyle's picture

Mr. Chairman, thanks for doing this, it is a wonderful development....because now i can go home and tell my kids even though i am a fat, bald underbiting moron, i am now as visible to the dumb-ass american public as david gregory.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:46 | 1213778 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I here by declare that there will be no gold bubble until such time as we find in the above word cloud that gold (which did not even appear) becomes sizeably larger then the world dollar..  and the next bernank press conference is schedule when ?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:56 | 1213816 Highrev
Highrev's picture

He came off like a nice enough guy who unfortunately is in way over his head and scared shitless.


Add: Not exactly a confidence builder if you're thinking about the USD.



Wed, 04/27/2011 - 17:55 | 1213830 Tunga
Tunga's picture

"First you have the problem of the Congress not willing to send armed troops into Libya. Plus they haven't even opened the bill from BAE for all those new cruise missiles we're going to need before we destroy Yemen.

Then you have all these unemployed construction workers who have found out how 9-11 was an inside job and how the fed is really just a private bank created outside of Constitutional law and how the dollar is only worth 4 cents compared to when we took over and you can see we're going to have to starve and bomb a lot more people to death before we get a complete recovery." - Uncle BEN 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:10 | 1213853 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Sorry TD but that's not the correct word cloud transcript, here it is:

Bernanke, "Bullshit, weasel word, snake oil and absolute bollocks. LaLa Land, wishful thinking, dodgy data, duck the question and waffle. Horseshit, trigger word hed fuk, non-existent recovery, fabricated statistics, (Note to Self - Don't whatever you do mention fuking Gold during this press conference!).

Print, print, print, property bubble burst, no real property recovery yet (2nd Note to Self - why the fuk did you mention the property bubble burst, you said it would not happen idiot, Oh Doh!!). Thankyou to the invited hand-picked crony media, sorry independent journalists, for attending and sticking to the pre-approved soft arsed questions. Must go now have a zillion Benny Bucks to print and stuff in Lord God Blankfeins pockets to buy Washington for 2012 and keep the ponzi going"

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:23 | 1213912 DoctorGold
DoctorGold's picture

Thank you, Mister Ben. You do a great job of explaining to the American people, and the rest of the world, just how you will stop this easing....until we need us some more easing. Then, you will explain thrice, how we need us some more easing. I stand by my prediciton of $2100 gold by Feb 2012.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:36 | 1213946 Dejean Splicer
Dejean Splicer's picture

Ah team. I don't really like the word clouds. Let's not do this again.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:41 | 1213956 madmax1965
madmax1965's picture

I was fortunate enough to not be able to watch this BS, however, started reading the transcript and almost projectile vomited immediatley!  Are you F'n kidding me!  This physcopath actually said "the fed's mandate to foster maximum employment & price stability"  Yeah, and I just got done laying off ten employees and have had to lower prices just to keep the remaining ones busy! I for one am ready for the endgame, so we can hopefully start over again.  To the Bernak I say GO F*CK YOURSELF!  The Feds mandate is to make it's shareholders as much fiat money as possible while sticking it to the middle class!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 19:12 | 1214065 jplotinus
jplotinus's picture

To the "Word Cloud," please Add:

"among other factors"

Those words were used to describe higher gas and food prices.  Higher gas and higher food prices are, arguably, what matter most to most people. ZHers may, on the whole, have understood most of what Bernanke said today, but, chances are, most people did not.  It was, to most, a word cloud.

That may be precisely why Bernanke did more harm, far more, than good today. The last time a Fed Chair may have commanded this much public attention might be the early 1980s when Volcker raised interest rates to the high teens. As there was no ZH then, it's fair to say that even fewer people understood why that was necessary then than understand what QE2 is now.

We did know, however, that inflation was high and that it was deemed necessary to reduce it; even if all that was ultimately done was that of changing the formula for what constituted inflation. Over time, rates were reduced and debt was found not to matter.  Those two things -- statistical manipulation; and, unbridled debt -- brought on the illusion of prosperity.

Raising rates was a far different mechanism than is printing fiat money. This time around, if higher gas/food prices turn out not to be transitory, there will be no viable way to cover up the hardship.

It is in that context that use of a non-explanatory phrase "among other factors" is to be considered. The failure to explain why such prices are higher, in detail, adds insult to injury.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 21:00 | 1214412 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Bernank's drivel makes Perot look like a genius.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 20:06 | 1214223 Slim Pickens
Slim Pickens's picture

To honour the passing of SETI, sacrificed on the altar of budget cuts, I offer you the following.

From "Contact" (1997): "Doctor Arroway, you come to us with no evidence, no record, no artifacts. Only a story that to put it mildly strains credibility. Over half a trillion dollars was spent, dozens of lives were lost. Are you really going to sit there and tell us we should just take this all... on faith? " 


Now imagine a world where a journalist paraphrases that for the Bernank: "Mr Bernanke, you come to us with no evidence of recovery, no jobs, no exports. Only a story that to put it mildly strains credibility. Over two trillion dollars have been spent on Quantitative Easing, thousands of lives have been lost in the ensuing explosion of world food prices.  Are you really going to sit there and tell us we should just take this all... on faith?"


Pure fantasy of course.  RIP blue-sky research, long live the Oligarchy

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 23:24 | 1214748 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Very good!!!     Milestones

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 20:46 | 1214375 JR
JR's picture

Today’s top newsmakers included one man calling a press conference to give a campaign speech…running for president of the U.S.A…on the theme: it’s frivolous to talk about a birth certificate.  We have more important things to do - like run for president and call a press conference.

The other man called a press conference to tell us how he’s handling the value of our currency, the trends in our nation’s business, the prospects for our jobs and the value of our homes. Things are not moving as fast as he’d hoped,  but they’re pretty okay…and if a boost is needed here or there he’s just the man to take more bucks from retires and savers and put ‘em where they’ll help the people who need help.

Two press conferences…two arrogant men; which one is our ruler?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 21:41 | 1214534 Atlas Shrieked
Atlas Shrieked's picture

Answer:  they were both honored as Time's Person of the Year.  But then again, so were Hitler and Stalin.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 21:11 | 1214444 surfsup
surfsup's picture

Um, last time I checked anything created by the government is public domain material?  Roll Call retains full Copyright?  Er.  Oh, its a private thing... Got cha... 

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 21:37 | 1214526 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Two press conferences…two arrogant men; which one is our ruler?

The one(s) they work for !

Is this an IQ test?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 23:09 | 1214723 Demogorgon
Demogorgon's picture

Just a general note to ZH today: Thank you! I didn't last more than ten minutes watching the honorable chairsatan. It was like listening to someone trying to convince me that the sky is red when all my eyes see is glorious blue! I can always come here to remind myself that it is not MY eyes that are being deceived. Obligitory signature: We are fucked.

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