Transcript And Word Cloud Of The FOMC's "Historic" First Ever Media Pantomime

Tyler Durden's picture

"Mr. Chairman, first, thanks for doing this. This is a tremendous development." Steve Liesman

Word cloud 1: Chairman Ben's prepared remarks:

Word cloud 2: Q&A between Ben and various sock so called journalists, all of whom were terrified to ask the questions the entire nation needed asked:

Full transcript:


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tekhneek's picture

Pathetic. I'd rather watch carebears than that staged/scripted bullshit ever again.

"Mr. Bernanke, would you agree that unicorns have glow in the dark boners, and their girth varies dependent on the time of year and proximity to your ever-so-glorious asshole?"

Long-John-Silver's picture

I wish he had talked longer. Did you see what he did to Gold and Silver?

Gold hit another all time high and Silver may take out the Hunt Brothers high tonight sometime.

tekhneek's picture

I could've sworn silver hit $49.79 and broke the Hunt brothers $49.45?

Am I wrong? I saw gold and silver take off though, but whatever, you and me both know this shit's far from being over.

tmosley's picture

High daily close, but not an all time daily high, which was $49.45.  The interday all time high was $50.35, IIRC.

tiger7905's picture

72.95 now. Being one with significant bullion exposure, I have to ask the question, "All in favor of Bernanke giving a speech tomorrow say aiy?" Too bad we'll have to wait weeks for another press conference, these should become a weekly event and we could get gold/silver over $2000/$100 in no time.

rocker's picture

The pitiful thing is pathetic Steve never had his question answered as asked.  Chess Game did not get a laugh either.

Population Bubble's picture

You worry about the wrong things, silly ant. The warming in the Arctic has reached incredible levels and is likely to have already triggered the "Methane Gun".

And no, I will not offer to kill myself, but I will take your offer to kill yourself if you promise to take other sheeple and some industrial infrastructure with you.

malusDiaz's picture

Here is the "Interpreted Fed Speech":


(Hat tip to a fellow ZHer!)

High Plains Drifter's picture

did he say anything earth shattering?  heck it sounded like he was sitting in the conference room talking to congress.  very boring.  why have a special media event for this?   i sat there waiting and waiting......blah blah blah.....


it is funny they were showing gold and silver spot prices more often than they usually do.  its a new world......


then lies man gets on his knees and kisses some serious ass.......good grief.......

the mad hatter's picture

back in the old days, a mob with pitchforks would have dragged old bernie out on the street and held their own "Q&A session"


but alas, we live in times of infinidistractions- celebrity news, facebook, and iPadz that keep the population tame.

Spastica Rex's picture

I would have watched but I was frantically searching teh interwebs trying to find out if Obama's birth certificate really should have had an embossed stamp on it or not.



willien1derland's picture

Your question should be posed at the next FOMC meeting - would be the only reasonable question asked - +10 - truly pathetic

Vesica Pisces's picture

Cliff Notes version of the speech:

The Fed will continue to monetize the debt we currently hold as far into the future as it takes to screw you, your children, and your great grandchildren; however, we are putting Congress on notice that we will not, I repeat NOT, monetize any new debt Congress creates going forward. (Or maybe we will when you're all not looking.)

LaLiLuLeLo's picture

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

LaLiLuLeLo's picture

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

Pegasus Muse's picture

The last couple of days the ScribD documents are unreadable.  It looks like ScribD doesn't have the right font and just shows a bunch of squares for letters? 

What is the fix for this problem?

theopco's picture

- it's proabaly your browser

willien1derland's picture

Agreed Blythe - what was frightening was his lack of shame - he lies too easily - despite the nerves he displayed - The AUDACITY of BEN - HOW DARE HE MENTION a STRONG USD - If he were Pinocchio his nose would have grown so quickly that it would have torn his skin off! What a disgrace he is...No better reason to End the Fed -

baby_BLYTHE's picture

But didn't you know??? It's the Treasury's role to protect the value of the dollar!

alright Ben, since you insist, we will just go ahead and default on every Treasury you've monitized and not pay a lick of interest to you and your PD buddies!

Ron Paul explained to Cramer how we don't owe the FED any interest and Jimmy almost drop on the floor in fear!

Spastica Rex's picture

But didn't you know??? It's the Treasury's role to protect the value of the dollar!*



* Insofar as existing elite wealth is protected. Some restrictions may apply.

Henry Chinaski's picture

Ben is an idiot

Yes, but he sure can talk some shit.  And he took a lot more than 20 questions; 28 by my count.  Give that man a Nobel prize.

EvlTheCat's picture

The Nobel Peace prize is already priced into QE3.

Bear's picture

No more QE after June ... very bullish ... go figure

SelfGov's picture

What did he say that leads one to believe there will be no more QE after June?

Bear's picture

He said no more bond purchases ... I think organized, regular POMOs (600B) created the stream of consistent juice flow

willien1derland's picture

Absolutely Bear & NO ONE...I mean NOT ONE 'reporter' asked about the Fed' version of 'Flip this Bond' (POMO) - Free Press my a$$ - Wall Street...K Street, where the hell are the terrorists when you REALLY need them?!

EvlTheCat's picture

They are threatening NOT to blow up the debt ceiling! Didn't you hear?!?

SelfGov's picture

Where?  He didn't even mention the word "bond."

He said he would "complete" the $600bln but didn't specifically say that purchases would stop.

Unless I'm blind/dumb and just missed it...

Bear's picture

I believe the 'regularity' of the purchases provided a floor under the market (equities) since participants knew (know) when each is coming. I think the data will bear this out. I don't believe for a minute that they will not continue to buy bonds, but without the regularity, I think more volitility and even an ocassional slide will be on the way 

SelfGov's picture

I understand now thanks :)

duncecap rack's picture

I was thinking that way too.

Another thing I am beginning to think is that the euro is about to take a hit. That would explain Ben being so uninterested in the question about the dollar. If he knew Greece was going to announce a restucturing or something after the hit the yen is taking there really would not be a reason to worry about the dollar.

Fred Hayek's picture

Of course, that might just inspire massive new european buying of precious metals which will make the prices rise and the dollar look bad just the same.

Eireann go Brach's picture

Dear Ben, did you know that if you removed your beard you would look like a heroin addict! Maybe that explains your quivering speech

NotAllowed's picture

Exactly, hence gold and silvers moves, just gonna call it something else.

Long-John-Silver's picture

DXY headed to zero, and no one cares.

akak's picture

Allow me to summarize Ben Bankruptke's little kabuki theater of a press conference:

"Here, Ben, catch this marshmallow!"

Bay of Pigs's picture

Listening to him twist and torture words I was thinking this is nothing but "verbal diarrhea".

akak's picture

Oh look, how cute --- I got "junked' by Ben and Timmay!

I always knew you guys read ZeroHedge!

weenus's picture


this was actually the PERFECT presser...perfect...



weltvermesser's picture

who need journalists. you can`t eat them, or can you?

Long-John-Silver's picture

Don't eat the brain or spine. Doing so will give you the shakes.

LFMayor's picture

The hands aquire shakes...
the shakes become a warning.