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As Treasury Cash Drops To Just $14.2 Billion, And No Bond Auctions Until Next Week, Is America About To Run Out Of Cash?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

And so the US Treasury has hit the proverbial paycheck to paycheck sustenance level. After burning $12.8 billion (without a change in gross debt) in cash today alone, and $75 billion in the month of March so far, primarily driven by a back end-loaded tax refund calendar, according to the Daily Treasury Statement, today's cash balance dropped to the scary level of just $14.2 billion. Without the benefit of incremental funding, this is the same amount that the Treasury burns on a good day! In other words, we take back what we said about the US Treasury existing paycheck to paycheck - Geithner now has to scramble to find funding on a day to day basis. If tomorrow operating outflows surpass $14.2 billion (and, again, the amount was $12.8 billion today) the world's "greatest" country (i.e. banana republic) runs out of cash, period. And as the following schedule indicates, there are no Long-Term bond issuances until next week (and the Bill issues are merely funding of rolling issues), we have some trouble seeing how the US Treasury will fund itself for the balance of the week...

And the forward issuance calendar: remember, this is where the bulk of money for deficit funding comes from there days.

On the other side of the ledger, total debt was $14.164 trillion, with $50 billion left in the liquidating SFP account. That means there are just two more 56-Day CMB maturities left before the credit ceiling gimmick expires. Once that happens, and in the absence of any clarity on the debt ceiling debacle, America may soon grind to a halt as the incremental debt capacity is hit in just over a month.

 

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Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:02 | 1052023 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Ah yes, cars and appliances. They're always prepared to commit suicide just to teach you a lesson.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:53 | 1052238 Calculated_Risk
Calculated_Risk's picture

You too?! Glad I'm not the only one! =/

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:39 | 1052844 Papi_Al-Mahdi
Papi_Al-Mahdi's picture

Happened to me one day last year. Boss threatened to fire me and broke up with gf. Then this.. http://i55.tinypic.com/w6tx5c.jpg[/IMG]

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:31 | 1051856 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Nothing to fret about... Ben and Tim are showing the azz hat pols what it will be like if the debt ceiling is not raised.

Pols will panic and demand faster printing.

Rinse, repeat...

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:34 | 1051863 tmosley
tmosley's picture

What is the effect of this?  Do government paychecks/welfare payments bounce?  Or does the government just "shut down", as in the 90's?  Or does it shut down as in Rome circa 455AD?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:53 | 1051972 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

I beleive its called DEFAULT, the last time that happened was 1933 and soon

after gold was confiscated. 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:03 | 1052026 tmosley
tmosley's picture

The last default was in 1971.  Ironically, the gold was "returned" soon after.  That is, we were "allowed" to own it again.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:18 | 1052104 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

In 1971 the US defaulted on its gold obligations. 

http://www.kitco.com/ind/Schoon/mar032008.html

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:23 | 1052114 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"the only thing scarier than gold being worthless is gold being worth something."  in other words "if you thought '33 was bad, '71  was worse."  i agree with that.  ABSOLUTELY.  now, "back to my soufle'."

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:08 | 1052061 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

The FDIC has been in negative reserve territory for ages, they keep going.

It's all magic and unicorns from now on.

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 05:03 | 1054671 saulysw
saulysw's picture

A good point. Nobody seems to question that any more....

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:35 | 1051866 jtmo3
jtmo3's picture

You've got to be kidding? The world is falling apart at the seams and our dow barely moves down. The fight of the ppt. This market is a joke. If one believes there is little to no money being created to buy this farse of a market this week or beyond, they're smoking crack. Pay attention.

Until one of these "black swans" hits on this mainland, the rest of the world could break off into space and the market would barely notice. Remember, greed is good and there's plenty on display.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:23 | 1052118 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Yes, it is absurd.  Japan's economy is reportedly the 3rd largest national economy in the world at around $5 Trillion per annum.  This disaster will lower global GDP, and the US markets hardly flinched today.  That is absurd.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:51 | 1052461 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Yep, and the Aussie Dollar falls against the Yen after the quake and trillions of yen printing (oops,......injections).

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:23 | 1052775 ATG
ATG's picture

After the Kobe EQ the yen went up from 100 to a buck to 80 and that weren't even nucular

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:56 | 1052474 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

btfd, btfd.  its like a sick carnival midway game.

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:36 | 1051871 Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence's picture

This is really amazing. 

Theoretically, can the Treasury just order money printing to "rectify" this situation?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:45 | 1051924 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

The Treasury is going to be using the same line I used to give my creditors:  "Look man, I'm not the Federal Reserve, I can't just print money.  What do you want me to do?  There is no money in the bank, therefore you can't have any... Get in line.".

The difference between them and myself is I settled my debt obligations.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:57 | 1053469 GreenSideUp
GreenSideUp's picture

Love it!  I say the same thing (especially if my kids are begging for money).  

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:54 | 1052466 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Where have you been for the last three years, watching Idol?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:35 | 1051875 silvertrain
silvertrain's picture

 Does this mean they are going to stop answering the phone due to bill collectors? Caller ID for the Treasury.. "Look man, we just dont got it, we can give you a little something on the 1st.."

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:36 | 1051883 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Geinthers' in a pile of shit and he doesn't have the boot's for it. I bet he cries himself to sleep everynight hugging his teddy bear while sucking his thumb.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:54 | 1051971 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Please. Turbo Timmy was the Head FRBNY during the financial crisis. Translation he was Chief Regulator (along with the bernank and SEC) of the banking industry during the greatest financial melt down in the history of the world. And for FAILING to do his job, he got a PROMOTION to Treasury Secretary,

Based on Past Performance, and his ability to fail up, i expect him to be named King of The World anyday.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 23:13 | 1053574 James
James's picture

And his promotion to FRBNY was after he destroyed Asia.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:37 | 1051890 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Is it the wood or the ink that's in short supply?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:38 | 1051895 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Asset sales...I've got dibs on Glacier National Park.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:40 | 1051898 What_Me_Worry
What_Me_Worry's picture

They should just buy $14.2B worth of silver contracts and stand for delivery.  That should buy them a few extra billion to play with when they get cashed out.  Except no delivery month until May.  Options expiration this week, they could try their luck there.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:44 | 1051932 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

+1 lol

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:11 | 1052525 JNM
JNM's picture

+395M oz.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:39 | 1051899 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Turbo Timmy can earn the dif. by servicing hank paulson and his buddies at three fiddy a pop.

 

Ben Sucks, Timmy blows.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:41 | 1051904 Atomizer
Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:20 | 1052107 Deathtöngue
Deathtöngue's picture

Except for DoD, Homeland Security, the Armed Forces, the Pentagon, corporate welfare and handouts to various puppet states. Can't shut them down. Gotta keep printing enough money to keep all them afloat, cos god knows they all do a fantastic job of protecting freedom.

Funny that Forbes never mentioned that. Oh, wait... those don't count as "government spending".

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:26 | 1052123 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

it's kind of like a nuclear reactor tho, isn't it?  "You can't turn it off" no matter what the Wall Street Journal claims.  "The energy just keeps producing" and "all we get is the fallout."

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 21:29 | 1053047 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Imagine the shitstorm if the welfare checks stopped coming for 43 million people. That's about 12% of the population that would be rioting and retail sales would collapse.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:41 | 1051907 Deepskyy
Deepskyy's picture

Broke Bitchez!

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:15 | 1052095 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

My nomination for "Best of the Bitchez".

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:25 | 1052788 ATG
ATG's picture

Broke Back Beaches

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:41 | 1051911 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

Is there a way to just continue spending, overdrawing their 'account'?

If things go negative, who will call them on it?

It's not like there is anything to repo, is there?

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:58 | 1051990 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

NSF fees DollarMenu, NSF fees.  By the by, you might want to change your name to millionDollarMenu.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:41 | 1051912 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Lets ask the very bankers the government bailed-out for a short term loan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Christ, my wife can balance a check book better then the Treasury Secretary!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:23 | 1052111 Deathtöngue
Deathtöngue's picture

Well, there IS all that cash on the sidelines.

Or you could just ask Hosni Mubarak for a loan. He's got $75 billion to lend and would probably be happy to live off a 4% return.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:42 | 1051913 Flore
Flore's picture

politicians on foodstamps... are there stamps for lobsters and champagne ?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:17 | 1052343 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Nope.  Only for lobster.  They have to pay cash for champagne.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:42 | 1051915 Cow
Cow's picture

"Time to go golfing" - Barry

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:52 | 1051969 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

Who is playing the White House tomorrow night?  What me worry?  Naw!  I am cool as a cucumber. My name is President Obama and I don't give a hoot. Me and my body man are going to party hardy tomorrow night and while the guys and gals are drinking, we shall slip off to a convenient closet in the white house and do some blow and bump peters......

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:57 | 1051991 Irwin Fletcher
Irwin Fletcher's picture

Fuck it Dude. Let's go bowling.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:43 | 1051917 FreeMoney Bernie
FreeMoney Bernie's picture

turn out the lights the party is over

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:49 | 1051943 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

"we have some trouble seeing how the US Treasury will fund itself for the balance of the week."

Take out a Payday Loan?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:09 | 1052066 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

so what's 'backing' bank deposits, mortgages, guarantees to bankrupt WS banks?

Oh yes the totally insolvent US Govt ...that's alright then!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:48 | 1051945 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

Number 3 is now out of service. No chair satan, we don't want any of your junk paper. We have to get rid of some of the junk we already bought to help fund the rebuilding of our nation. so says the emperor of japan.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:49 | 1051947 Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence's picture

When an individual hits zero cash, the checks bounce.  How on earth will the US government get around this?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:24 | 1052116 Deathtöngue
Deathtöngue's picture

It's the US government. You don't wanna accept their cheque? Off to Gitmo for you!

You're either with us or you're with the terrorists! Remember?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:03 | 1052498 victor82
victor82's picture

Jesus Christ, didn't you get your unicorn in the mail?

Print it! 

Don't you remember seeing all those geezers walking through your local North Pointe Towne Temple of Consumption wearing "I'm Spending My Grandchildren's Inheritance" t-shirt? 

After all, who the heck do you think has been voting for these ass clowns since Nixon closed the Gold Window, anyway? Ludwig van Mises?

Naaaah. Every day is a Bankster's Holiday.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:49 | 1051954 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

I wonder how confident the Fed is now, that they can control inflation, deflation, stagflation or whatever 'flation' they claim to have complete dominion over.  If they can't print money their toolbox is largely empty.  Oh wait, they can raise interest rates, like that'll happen.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:52 | 1051956 ronin12
ronin12's picture

And yet the Congress critters are fighting over whether to "CUT" $6B or $50B.

WE ARE SCREWED.

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:05 | 1052503 victor82
victor82's picture

BTW, I'm sure everyone saw the WSJ article this morning prediction unemployment to hit 7.7% in time for Obama's reelect.

Methinks the Ruling Class is in for a bit of a surprise.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:20 | 1052771 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Nah, they'll just keep making up the numbers and making them smaller.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 21:14 | 1052957 Ben Fleeced
Ben Fleeced's picture

No unemployment = full employment

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 23:17 | 1053609 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"prediction unemployment to hit 7.7% in time for Obama's reelect."

That number reflects the power of conscription!  The draft will set things right.

Now, if we could just find a Theater Of Operations with a large enough scale to justify it.  Anything going on in the Middle East?  No?  Well, isn't it about time that changed?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:53 | 1051966 Bubbles...bubbl...
Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

How much is that "no-fly zone" thingy going to cost? I am sure the Europeans are going to pay for their share, right?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:54 | 1051976 Misean
Misean's picture

Yeah, Spain, Portugal, and Italy are "all in". Greece wasn't asked.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:00 | 1052004 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

No fly zone, scmyzone. Our government needs to send aid to Japan.  It's for the children you know.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:45 | 1052438 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

It's a little late for a no fly zone.  Team Obama dithered long enough in making a decision (likely on purpose to see which way the wind was blowing) that Qaddafi's forces have gained the upper hand on the rebels.  Even without air support, the pro-Qaddafi forces should be able to mop up the rebels.  The incompetence of Obama and his foreign policy team is astonishing (well, perhaps not).  Two weeks ago, a little air support, some supplies, and timely intelligence data and Qaddafi would already be at the end of a noose.  

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:53 | 1051968 Misean
Misean's picture

Just numbers on a spread sheet really. All just flim flam to pressure congang into hoisting the ceiling. With the Japanese situation taking pole position and the NFL contract situation running a close second, should be easy to push through a Mo' Money bill.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:54 | 1051975 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Does Japan allow foreign owned tourism companies? I'm thinking Fukushima Wildlife Tours would be a good start-up. We could import some of those Chernobyl chest-high beavers that glow in the dark.   

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:23 | 1052362 That Peak Oil Guy
That Peak Oil Guy's picture

Are you talking about the wildlife or the women?

TPOG

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:57 | 1051986 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Don't worry, Timmeh will have the suicide vest on ready to storm congress.

Suicide bankers bitchez!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:59 | 1051996 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

Start looking for loose change between the Oval Office couch cushions.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:01 | 1052011 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Nope nothing there.  I just found a wet cigar.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:04 | 1052030 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

Bag it and tag it.  Call the FBI, we may have a crime scene.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:04 | 1052034 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Timmeh: Hey, Ben.. what if we just write a bunch of checks to ourselves and put them in the bank?!

 

Ben: ...er..

 

Timmeh: Wah?

 

Ben: Perhaps I didn't explain QE before...

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:59 | 1052005 falak pema
falak pema's picture

It's about time Benocide pulled his finger out and started reprinting seriously. He has not only the US economy to float in QE-3 levitation but also the Japanese left-over from tsunami after the mushroom cloud.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 16:59 | 1052006 dootyfree
dootyfree's picture

Are yall retarded or something?  How can we run out of cash when we are the monoply supplier of our own currency?  It is impossible.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:07 | 1052055 Yikes
Yikes's picture

They have to maintain the illusion.  It doesn't look good when the Treasury has to have an emergency unscheduled auction to get itself through the end of the week. 

 

On the plus side, once the Fed buys directly from the Treasury, it won't seem as bad going forward.  The first time is always the hardest.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:17 | 1052073 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Couldn't they just sell some Gold to cash4gold.com?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:04 | 1052286 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

Yeah!  Here's another option:

I keep hearing about this "Transforming debt into wealth" system on the radio, I think they should call right now!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:37 | 1052164 JR
JR's picture

From A Few Good Men | The Burning Platform } by Administrator

Everyone remembers the courtroom scene from A Few Good Men.

I have fantasized about a future scene that will happen in the House chamber in the near future :

Ron Paul: Chairman Bernanke, did you order the printing of $4 trillion to be given to Wall Street bankers?
John Boehner: You don’t have to answer that question!
Ben Bernanke: I’ll answer the question!
[to Paul]
Ben Bernanke: You want answers?
Ron Paul: I think I’m entitled.
Ben Bernanke: You want answers?
Ron Paul: I want the truth!
Ben Bernanke: You can’t handle the truth!
[pauses]
Ben Bernanke: Son, we live in a world that has Wall Street bankers, and those bankers have to be enriched by men with printing presses. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Representative Ryan? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the Middle Class, and you curse the Federal Reserve. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the US Dollar’s death, while tragic, probably enriched Wall Street bankers. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, benefits Wall Street bankers. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at Tea Parties, you want me on that printing press, you need me on that printing press. We use words like debasement, inflation, systematic risk. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending banking interests. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very excess liquidity that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a computer terminal, and create a few trillion dollars. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Ron Paul: Did you order the printing of $4 trillion?
Ben Bernanke: I did the job I…
Ron Paul: Did you order the printing of $4 trillion?
Ben Bernanke: You’re $%#@&$$ right I did!

http://www.theburningplatform.com/?tag=ben-bernanke

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:47 | 1052214 Yikes
Yikes's picture

ROTFLMAO...Nice.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:30 | 1052019 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

"America may soon grind to a halt..."

Let's be specific, the US Govt could grind to a halt

Anyone has a problem with that? Nope. In fact that's fuking great news and no skin off anyones nose.

In fact "Let the US Govt Eat Cake"

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:32 | 1052813 ATG
ATG's picture

Yellowcake

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:47 | 1053436 GreenSideUp
GreenSideUp's picture

+92

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:02 | 1052020 NRGTDR
NRGTDR's picture

What is Japan's current U.S. treasury position? Will they dump to get cash to rebuild?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:31 | 1052144 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

it is "big" and CNBC has ordered them to "buy or die."  To quote Larry Kudlow "thank God all those people are dead but the economy survived."  Ah, yes "the creed."

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:06 | 1052032 Comrade de Chaos
Comrade de Chaos's picture

will an emergency SWAP on the future earnings from TARP and related programs or FED holdings solve the problem?

(a SWAP with BOJ or G&Poor'S ~ "we slide you ride" perhaps? )

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:04 | 1052041 godzila
godzila's picture

Well I'm pretty sure there is some contingency plan - what would prevent the FED form "creating" a few hundred billions out of thin air ?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:06 | 1052053 pgarner
pgarner's picture

This is frightening, but nothing logical seems to matter anymore. Fear not: the US machine will continue grinding along, although it may no longer be the sleek animal the world once admired.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:09 | 1052064 prophet
prophet's picture

I had no idea that the federal goverment used cash. 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:09 | 1052067 market le pew
market le pew's picture

Well, when I checked last stocks AND bonds where up....nothing to worry about

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:10 | 1052070 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

No problema. Timmah is on the phone with J.G. Wentworth as we speak. And he has already signed a reverse mortgage on the White House property -- Robert Wagner personally oversaw the deal so its a good one.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:34 | 1052404 nasa
nasa's picture

LOL

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:03 | 1052501 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

LOL!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:08 | 1052510 Muir
Muir's picture

+

<applause>

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:11 | 1052077 JR
JR's picture

From Ron Paul’s Freedom Report : A publication of the Foundation for Rational Economics and Education (FREE) - January 24, 2011

“We only recently learned that the bankers at the Fed were able to use the latest financial crisis to bail out Wall Street cronies and foreign central banks with billions of dollars that were created and wasted, instead of appropriated and voted on by representatives of the people.  The Fed and its supporters in Congress vehemently fought even this small bit of transparency…

“If ‘political independence’ erodes the purchasing power of the currency by 98%, destabilizes the economy with radical booms and busts, all the while increasing unemployment and tipping us ever closer to hyperinflation, perhaps it is time to try a little transparency and accountability instead.  Better still – we should try giving the people true economic freedom…

“It is nothing short of cruel and criminal for Congress to stand idly by while the life savings of Americans are inflated away to nothing.”

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:25 | 1052121 Deathtöngue
Deathtöngue's picture

Yeah, good luck with your next presidential campaign, wiener.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:37 | 1052832 ATG
ATG's picture

Anyone who's delivered over 4000 babies, won the CPAC two years in a row and supports our Constitution is not a Weiner, 9th District NY, but a winner

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:43 | 1053409 GreenSideUp
GreenSideUp's picture

The only CONgressman talking about doing something radically different than the status-how's that working for us?-quo and he's a weiner...

Got it. 

 

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:30 | 1052134 Unlawful Justice
Unlawful Justice's picture

I can hear a tic.....tic.... tic sound.  No wait, its a vibrating dildo!

 

[Jack's bags have just been confiscated]
Jack: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Jack: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Jack: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But … every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] … it's a dildo. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never … your dildo.
Jack: I don't own a dildo!

 

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:36 | 1052161 youngman
youngman's picture

Did someone tell Obama...he is on hole # 7 right now I think...wait until he hits the ball though..you have to be quiet on his backswing...

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:37 | 1052170 monopoly
monopoly's picture

How long can this go on until WE blow up. I cannot believe this country.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:38 | 1052173 zebra
zebra's picture

as long as Ben can type on his keyboard and ink left in his printer cartridge, why would anyone worry about that?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:41 | 1052179 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

small business tax credit for employee health insurance, "what a complete, absolute joke".  you only receive it if you show a tax liability. so if you have any carryover losses, or if you don't show a profit, you don't get a credit. 

 

i've operated at a loss for the last 2 years while cutting everything but health insurance.  i know, i'll cut that and not provide it anymore, that will help. then i can roll losses forward from the last 2 years and take a long-assed vacation.

 

insane

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:51 | 1052234 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Tyler, can you put this in perspective by providing a graph of the cash balance over time? That will help us better understand the normal level and the trend. Thanks again!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 17:56 | 1052247 Clapham Junction
Clapham Junction's picture

 

(d)

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:03 | 1052289 callon
callon's picture

Corporate quarterly estimated tax payments are due 3/15/11. Probably in the neighborhood of $20B.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:53 | 1052462 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

not from me, i'm sending zilch

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:21 | 1052331 onarga74
onarga74's picture

If they'd impose the Spank the Clown tax on porno we'd have a surplus in 9 months.  Bolivia could back us till then.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:48 | 1052446 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

your link works but there's an error on Jim 'cunt' Cramers website

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:26 | 1052369 Tric
Tric's picture

In the second chart, what does the R represent? 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:17 | 1052535 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

R --denotes reopening

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 18:45 | 1052439 hambone
hambone's picture

Things is getting - Sur fucking real

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:01 | 1052487 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Has anyone noticed that the Jeetner (Timmah) has been real subdued in public lately...not his usual feisty self?  He knows he will go down in history as the executive officer on deck along with the Bernank who sunk the ship because the commander (Obummer) could not make a decision, even when the huge iceberg was visible right in front of them.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:20 | 1052549 Lndmvr
Lndmvr's picture

I bet those misprinted 100's make thier way into the stream.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:20 | 1052550 trendybull459
trendybull459's picture

People get together,anyone who cares about basic problem of our existance FED invited to vote in our poll and read out latest comments on yahoo FED article about QE3:

http://trendybull777.blog.com/2011/02/21/hello-world/

Voting poll is waiting for you click,take 5sec to make your choice,we must to reach critical level to be recognised by others to tove too!Thank you and keep all us together regardless government effords,we appreciate if you link us to other polls,blogs,sites to let people or your friiends to vote FED existence

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:33 | 1052593 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

sell the gold in fort knox...again. or all those bonds you have on the balance sheet. plenty of ways to raise cash.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 19:55 | 1052652 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The Feds are good for it.  They can charge anything they want in my store. They're good at begging.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:09 | 1052723 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

$14.2 billion!!! Brian NutSack is gonna need more than that tonite and tomorrow just to keep the dow from crashing and make his margin calls!!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:27 | 1052800 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Thomas P.M. Barnett - Explanation of War & Terrorism (1/3) 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7El18wbBd4

Now that the guard has changed hands two years past. We can see many things are quite visible. Nothing has changed. The plan forges on..

Project for the New American Century

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sg_NRC8ozk

What are your thoughs?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:32 | 1052819 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Timmy is going to have to get out the Abacus.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:34 | 1052825 AmazingLarry
AmazingLarry's picture

Just hand the Fed over to Old Country Buffet. All you can spend FRN's + delicious chicken fried steak and lumpy chocolate pudding till your bubble bursts!

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 20:41 | 1052850 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Witholding taxes would be the Honourable thing to do.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 21:10 | 1052941 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

I saw a black Escalade pull up to the local superfresh, bunch of government looking guys brought in 5 galllon buckets full of coins that they promptly fed into the change machine. They headed to the customer service booth and took off with handfuls of cash.

Coincidence? 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:32 | 1053361 faithfulwatchman
faithfulwatchman's picture

Those Hon-yocks... Don't they realize those chocolate coins WILL NOT process through the machines...

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 21:20 | 1052991 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

BOJ just put in another 5 trillion yen..

http://english.kyodonews.jp/news/2011/03/78019.html

 

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 21:44 | 1053138 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

The Polish Zloty is the next world reserve currency.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:04 | 1053218 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

What time of year would be the best to just admit BK and let the chips fall? We won't freeze to death now and we can get those gardens planted. We have all summer to get ready for winter.  

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:06 | 1053237 zeroman
zeroman's picture

This is utter nonsense. Of course they can loan themselves money in a ponzi like fashion. No worries.  A couple of computer entries and we have a sale of Maiden lane II to AIG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:07 | 1053238 sbenard
sbenard's picture

IS this the news that's killing stock futures tonight? Or is it more morose mood in Asia?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:07 | 1053242 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Those gummit guys must be stoopid.  Who'd want to sit on $14 billion in cash when you can invest it in equities and earn real returns?

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:25 | 1053333 faithfulwatchman
faithfulwatchman's picture

Not so soft landing here... Ben Bernanke is hopelessly in WAY OVER his head... For a guy who prides himself as an expert historian on our Great Depression of 1929. He, himself will get his chance to write all about his epic failures in our current economic crisis and the coming disaster, will be known as "The Greater Depression of 2011" ...

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 22:46 | 1053427 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

So here is how they will get cash:

Hawaii first state to breach $4US per gallon gasoline.

And it can only go up.

Mon, 03/14/2011 - 23:41 | 1053756 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

I wonder what would happen if they 'stole' from the 56 day to fund their needs?  If they DID, could the market handle no pomo and everything else?  My guess is no. 

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 00:04 | 1053914 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Baby, you'd look good in a dumpster.
The world has stopped turning.
The other shoe has dropped.
The SHI* HAS HIT THE F*CKING FAN!

I am most hated of the world.
You aren't my brother.
You aren't my family.
I'd rather die alone than live here with you.


No one has control of me now.
If I ruled the world I'd destroy mankind.
If I were king for a day I'd make sure there was no f*cking tomorrow.
And now the world is my f***ing toilet.
AND NOW THE WORLD IS MINE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmRJrylMTsA

Best Precious Metals Site on the interwebz: http://tfmetalsreport.blogspot.com/

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 01:28 | 1054406 Calculated_Risk
Calculated_Risk's picture

This just in! After the recent attack on Japan, the U.S. government has delcared Earth a terrorist organization. President Obama addressed the nation and declared "No planet, should ever, be able to fuck up my golf game! Oh yeah, and the economy too!"

 

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 07:01 | 1054739 aldousd
aldousd's picture

Somehow I think they will 'avert disaster' again. Just sayin.

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 11:18 | 1055747 Nine Pies
Nine Pies's picture

Funny, it's Tuesday morning 11:25 a.m. and they haven't posted a new Daily Treasury Statement yet.

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 16:58 | 1057200 Nine Pies
Nine Pies's picture

There it is.  The balance went up over $24 billion.

 

https://www.fms.treas.gov/fmsweb/viewDTSFiles?dir=w&fname=11031400.pdf

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