Underfunded Illinois Pension Fund Under Investigation By The SEC For Accounting Fraud

Tyler Durden's picture

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sushi's picture

You don't let Rahm run for Mayor and this is what happens.

Arius's picture

thats just the beggining...or should we say the end of the beggining...or the beginning of the end?

BIATCHIZ...china is in the house....

dryam's picture

Madoff'ed bitchez.

El Hosel's picture

  Easy there, accounting fraud is good as it adds to GDP and reduces inflationary expectations.

John McCloy's picture

This cannot be a correct headline. I thought we legalized accounting fraud in April 09.

DarkMath's picture

lol, you just made my morning.

cossack55's picture

I wasn't aware they made porno films in Illinois.  Must be a Chicago thing. 

orangedrinkandchips's picture

yes, we are not "the valley" where porn is filmed in every other house, but HOW ELSE ARE WE TO SUPPORT OURSELVES? besides growing grass? lol....

UnRealized Reality's picture

And the witch hunt continues.

Dixie Normous's picture

Witch Hunt? Really? States are in the hole for trillions in unfunded pension and benefit liabilities and FINALLY someone is shining a light on the situation.

Unfortunately, the lumination is exposing the tax payer getting fucked in the ass by state pols and their voting block unions who gave them their jobs.

Vergeltung's picture

"witch hunt?" what kind of drugs you doing man?

orangedrinkandchips's picture

"mmmmm....midget porn..." Homer Simpson.

No matter if you DID put porno pic's of sawed-off hotties on every sheet in a excel book they dont care! They are not out to do their jobs.


Another quote from the simpsons....This one is from the comic book store clerk....



"WORST STATE EVER!" (Illinois).

NotApplicable's picture

"They are not out to do their jobs."

The only job they have is to warm a chair in order to maintain a facade. Honestly, why would anyone work, when there is no legitimate work that they can do?(legitimate being that no good or service should be provided at gunpoint, but rather by free individuals)

Government employees are no different than a mafia barbershop. Sure, they may cut a little hair, but that is not why they are there. They are there to provide a front for the criminals upstairs.

Treason Season's picture

Government employees are...


Too lazy to work


Too nervous to steal

tarsubil's picture

I was wondering how best to describe this place (the government office I work in - right now). That pretty much sums it up. Funny how the mob provides the best analogies for describing the government.

westboundnup's picture

You'll see more and more of this.  I live in a small city which has drawn on escrow accounts to fund budgetary items totally unrelated to the purpose of the escrows.  Such practice is illegal explicitly.  When confronted, the city official indicated that the mayor and city council were fully aware of this practice and did nothing to prevent it from occuring.  As our society continues to collapse, you'll certainly see more of these "fraud by necessity" arguments.  Look for people's private defined contribution plans to be the next source of funding budgetary shortfalls, in order to avoid civil unrest and children starving. 

orangedrinkandchips's picture

cant agree more....wait....yeah....just cant agree more. Illinois seems to be the first one to do it.

Let's see...I am dumb,ok. Low level of intellect. HOWEVER. Accounting or not, we all know that it is not only illegal but DEADLY.

Case in point? Mortgages. See, what your town and others are doing is doing a refi, cash out, so they can keep up with The Real Housewives of two-bit-whore-ville. This happened a few years ago and where are we now?

What kills me and like I said, I claim to be dumb. But, let me sit down with a "budget" and a red pen for fun. Shit, make a game out of it....


Bell, Californina anyone? Fire chief Wigam makes a cool 500k/yr while the rest of the fighters in the entire world make less than 60k.

it cannot be that hard. Yes, making cuts is hard but it is a matter of if you want to continue as a going concern.

If you want to "live" let's say...you personally would have to lose weight, kick the cholesterol etc. If you dont care to live...DRIVER, TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST HOSTESS OUTLET!!

Ding Dongs for all!!(no, not to be mistaken by our Tres. Secretary mind you).

The Grateful Dead said it best....


LoneStarHog's picture

Didn't they just steal the playbook from the Social Security Administration?

williambanzai7's picture

Spread sheet porn gifs. This is doable....

doomandbloom's picture

death spiral, death spiral, death spiral...

TheGreatPonzi's picture

Wasn't the manager of the fund himself who came bitching on Zerohedge about the lies of a Pension Pulse article a few months ago?

Sudden Debt's picture


trav7777's picture

Is there anything in Illinois which is NOT completely fucked up??

Sudden Debt's picture

their half of the border line

The Third Man's picture

Completely? Well, no....but I think I'm getting there!

Agent P's picture

Yes, we have a booming Asian carp market.  And...never mind, that's all I got.

Nikao7's picture

ME:)....then again strike that

Sudden Debt's picture




>>> Baby swallows pingpong ball<<<

more on page 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10!!


Cdad's picture

Isn't CAT headquartered in Illinois?  And couldn't they halt a few of their China shipments...and just...well...push that whole freakin' city into that big a$$ lake...you know...so that we can rebuild it with fewer criminal inside takers?

Just thinking out loud here.

Nikao7's picture

Rumors swirling about CAT moving it's headquarters out of Peoria.  Compliments of the recent hike in ct.

The Third Man's picture

On a much smaller scale, though still important to the our local economy, Jimmy John's founder is threatening to move corporate headquarters out of Champaign. He's personally high-tailed it to the warmer and more tax-friendly climes of sunny Florida.

CB's picture

Fraud in Illinois???? Say it isn't so!

bingaling's picture

This is off topic but I have seen your avatar over 1000 times and always try to figure it out . My best guess is a shadow trying to get out of someones ass

Thomas's picture

Use your zoom key and you will see it is a ram. (You captured my imagination with your question.)

bigdumbnugly's picture

ohhhhhhh.   so it's  a ram coming out of someone's ass.

CB's picture

All done playing grab-ass with your boyfriends? 

shortus cynicus's picture

It's bad news for gold: now the unfortunate bonds holder must sell their precious metals to get something to eat.

But seriously: who knows, probably actual paper-gold dip has something to do with bursting of bonds bubble.

dick cheneys ghost's picture

this country was built on accounting fraud. standard operating procedure for governments, corporations, banks and most of our cherished and prized institutions.

gwar5's picture

First Rham, and now this? I don't believe it.  Of all the things the SEC should be doing.....

I smell a whitewash.  I just don't believe anything will happen with you-know-who in the WH.

Abraham Snake's picture

My gut feeling compass has been indicating for quite a while that states are going bankrupt not so much from the weight of a bloated public workforce, or even gross mismanagement, but from the ubiquitous fraud that kept the true costs of bloat and mismanagement hidden for so long.

snowball777's picture

It's a PDE using those variables, yes.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Illinois in trouble. Who would have thought. With one of the largest illegal eastern european populations in the US, I doubt they do much "tax" collection there. 

Collection in Chicago means knuckle-dusters. At some point, the mark can't pay.

Seems like a microcosm of the Indian Political Establishment to me. Thugocracy, Kleptocracy.....

An Ill Wind blows... ;-)



system failure's picture

Federal Reserve needs to show Illinois how the Irish Catholics print money in Ireland now.

grunk's picture

Blame it on the snow.

snowball777's picture

Bring it, fuckin' haters!



Seasmoke's picture

states, counties, towns, households.......all broke