Unsolicited Offer to the Securities & Exchange Commission: Hire Me

Anal_yst's picture

In the wake of the extremely obvious lack of diligence from a Judge hearing an SEC settlement with General Electric, its come to my attention that the SEC is still even worse than my cynical self imagined.  The organization is so completely and pathetically useless that they don't even bother actually doing anything but attempted public lip service.  Seriously, how do you charge a company with accounting fraud without, ya' know, identifying the fraud, who perpetrated it and how, and what's been done to make sure it won't happen again, at the very least?  This isn't rocket science, and yet their ongoing track record suggests we might as well be asking them to explain super string theory when all they really have to do is ask a few freaking questions and put a few puzzle pieces together.

I personally just can't sit idly by and facepalm/laugh/cry anymore.  I am hereby volunteering my services to help my Country and investors World-wide by going to work for the frenemy: the Securities & Exchange Commission. 

I'm offering to work inside the belly of the beast, to sit through hours of what are no-doubt eye-gougingly-boring staff meetings, meetings where inexperience and an incredible lack of natural curiosity are likely nourished.  I promise to tell you, the SEC, when you are about to get your FAIL on, when you are failing to connect two already connected dots, to act as the voice of reason in the absense of, well, any.  I will ask the questions that you either don't know to ask, or just don't ask for whatever other reason(s) unbeknownst to me. 

I may not be Harry Markopolos, but unlike the hacks you (have) currently employ(ed), I understood his 1999 letter in which he clearly explained that Madoff was a fraud.

You can reach me via email,  its (dot) the (dot) anal (dot) yst (at) gmail (dot) com.  The ball is in your court.  Make the right decision, for your fellow country men and investors everywhere. 

 

update: corrected typo in email address