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US Defense Secretary Gates Sending Hundreds Of Marines, Two Amphibious Ships To Libya

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Update: Canada has now sent a warship to Libya as well.

Here we go:

Gates said 400 Marines are aboard amphib Kearsarge (as we predicted yesterday), which is headed towards Libya w/other ships. Notes UN has not authorized use of force. 

And to those who think the good Colonel will leave his oil in the hands of the infidels, we suggest you short Brent now.

 

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Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:14 | 1008837 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

OK then, so where is my dividend?   I gave handsomely to the adopt-a-sniper fund.

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 01:24 | 1010339 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

OK then, so where is my dividend? 

 

Where is the dividend of the US hobbo on everything?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:27 | 1008920 ciscokid
ciscokid's picture

One word Halliburton is runing the

oil biz in Iraq,plus the mercenaries.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:40 | 1008993 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

It isn't just Halliburton.  Lots of companies are doing their shifty corporationy stuff.  Doing things, you know, that people pay them for.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 19:02 | 1009277 TeamAmerica
TeamAmerica's picture

Uhhh, no we didn't.   Paul Wolfowitz may have been serious when he said we'd pay for the war with Iraqi oil, but that's not what happened.

As for who is running the oil fields, YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG.  US oil companies were largely shut out of post-war Iraqi oil operations.

See: http://www.businessinsider.com/sovereign-backed-oil-companies-creamed-the-multinationals-in-iraq-2010-2

Does it bother you to be so wrong?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 20:30 | 1009536 rwe2late
rwe2late's picture

TeamAmerica

You, along with many others, have been misled by the disinformation campaign to portray the US as "shut out" of the Iraq economy and oil (and allegedly thereby "disproving" the US to have had any rapacious motives for invasion).

Closer inspection reveals the US is far from being "shut out". Additionally, so long as the petrodollar extortion can be enforced by (military) control of petroleum resources, the US indirectly "owns" the world's oil for the price of US issued fiat currency.

“Western producers like BP, Exxon Mobil, and Shell are enjoying their best access to Iraq's southern oil fields since 1972”.

http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/mar2010/gb2010034_232444.htm

 

Nabucco pipeline

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nabucco_pipeline

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:06 | 1008798 reescher
reescher's picture

The USA should now take this opportunity to colonize Libya. Beautiful Mediteranean beach front property development opportunities, nice year-round temps, Ukrainian nurses and lots of oil.

So we'd have that going for us. Then again...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:42 | 1008999 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

France is a nicer piece of real estate, and objectively worth more.  The problem in both cases is there are already people there.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:57 | 1008728 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

it was Jimmy Carter who declared ME oil "of strategic interest."  Which given the 90's seems incredible--but given now seems all too credible.  Prez One GW himself had a quibble with "foreign entanglements"--ironically we were much "poorer" then.  to the point "we had slaves" actually.  Is there anything more American than to "solve a problem with a war"?  Should we want it any other way?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:18 | 1008471 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

cougar_w:

"They must be psyched like crazy mo'fo's. Well, more psyched than the usual crazy mo'fo's they are."

Probably as psyched as 1/8 MAR going back to the 'Root doing the recent NEO.  But I'm guessing (see down thread) that this is a pick up team, since 3/8 MAR are away in the Afghan.

And contrary to certain fully exploited myths, 400 Marines can't take over the whole place.

- Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:00 | 1008749 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"I...tried...to...tell...Sec Def Gates....I...could...take...'em..with...my...left...pinky...if...he'd...only ask..."  that's my John Wayne voice.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:00 | 1008364 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

The names of some of the current actors are just too damn strange.

The Gates of Hell...

Ever snce Billary declared the sentence, this was fait accompli. Iraq re-deploys to Libya and from there THE WORLD.

Welcome to the empire's last hurrah!

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/on-outsourcing-and-its-ills/

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:45 | 1008659 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Billary? WTF is that? do you mean Hitlery Clitwoman?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:04 | 1008786 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Thanks for the big laugh!

ORI

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:01 | 1008371 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

It's time for the Libyan oil to be liberated, and to be free of their oppressors. Did I say oil? I meant people. Possibly the finest sweet crude people in the world.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:16 | 1008459 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

Nice!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008464 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Okay that was funny.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:01 | 1008373 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

How did obama win the Nobel PEACE prize again?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:03 | 1008385 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

How many white people has he bombed?

Now, how many brown people?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:04 | 1008386 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

It turns out that award was a fat finger clerical error.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:45 | 1008658 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It was his payoff in advance. Let's not forget the money that came with it. The man wasn't stupid. He demand and received his pieces of silver in advance in exchange for his upright ass.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:04 | 1008783 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

In fact I agree. Nor did they get their money's worth.

But it was a long shot. Nothing ventured nothing gained, as they say. This was going to be the decade of war, so it has become, and the historians will do what they always do and look back and wonder how it might have turned out differently. The answer: No it could not.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:09 | 1008813 reescher
reescher's picture

Easy: The check left for him in the President's book of Secrets was made out in fiat dollars.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:03 | 1008378 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Ahhhhh, nothing like violence to combat violence. 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:39 | 1008622 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Works every time.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:48 | 1009036 still kicking
still kicking's picture

It's called deflection, fight on the left flank so you can advance on the right. 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:04 | 1008381 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

After all we have to protect our interests right ?

Wait a minute didnt we cut off all ties with Libya years ago. ?

Oil is a liberator..............................!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:05 | 1008387 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Smooth. Because our other long term police actions are working so well for us. Can't we let the Euros have a go of it alone for a change? Italy has marines right, the UK?

Hopefully Barry will get another peace prize for this, of give it to Gates this time.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008466 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

The Italian parliament can't agree on where to go for lunch.  The women though, are,... how should I put this, always available.  Chow.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:32 | 1008576 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

I think you meant to say, "Ciao".

Unless, of course, you were ordering Chinese instead of Italian...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:48 | 1008677 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

We might b more than broke but we can still afford the fuel to attack. guess that is what is really important, eh?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:05 | 1008388 Weimar Ben Bernanke
Weimar Ben Bernanke's picture

Yet again we getting involve in a fight we have no dog in. Just like Korea,Vietnam,Grenada,Panama,Yugoslavia,Iraq,Afghanistan. We are going to bankrupt ourselves by being globocop meanwhile at home our border is wipe open and the feds do nothing.

"The great rule of conduct for us, in regard to foreign nations, is in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible. Europe has a set of primary interests, which to us have none, or a very remote relation. Hence she must be engaged in frequent controversies the causes of which are essentially foreign to our concerns. Hence, therefore, it must be unwise in us to implicate ourselves, by artificial ties, in the ordinary vicissitudes of her politics, or the ordinary combinations and collisions of her friendships or enmities." George Washingtons Farwell Address

 

"peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none." Thomas Jefferson.

We need the return of a non intervention foreign policy. We need to end the idea that the national guard should be sent abroad to fight never ending wars. We need a large militia like the second amendment states not a militiary industrial complex war machine.

 

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:51 | 1008690 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

nice tripe from 1780, written by 2 slave owners? so I guess we should go back to 1780, no womens rights, have slaves, and go back to a wind powered Navy? Oh yea, and scrap the internet. WE need to make the world like the US, or we will become like them. I like my women naked, not in a burka.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:23 | 1008899 Weimar Ben Bernanke
Weimar Ben Bernanke's picture

Coming from a man who ancestors were slaves in Haiti who fought against the french colonialist I do not worship Washington or Jefferson like soem other do,because of how they treated the Haitian revolution with fear and did not trade with the island. Where in my paragraph we should have no womens rights,slaves,wind powered navy? All I said is we need is a non interventionist foreign policy just like Switzerland. The premise is we are bankrupting our selves and making more enemies then friends when we stick our nose in everyones buisness. Have you ever heard of blowback from the CIA? When we prop up dictators,invade occupy nations this pisses people off. They do not hate us for our "freedoms" they hate us because we are killing their people,propping up corrupt governments and at the same time preaching democracy. We have spent billions in babes overseas with no value while our southern border is more open then a coke whores legs at a friday night party. What have we gained in the war in Iraq? A nation still divided in sectarian lines and would plunge into civil war once we leave. In Afghanistan we spent billions nation building,billions to Pakistan while they support the Taliban. Pakistan could collase at any moment. We do not need to make the world like us with the barrel of a gun because that does not work.  So if all of this is some tripe from 1780. I guess the Constituion does not matter? The bill of rights are a things of the past right? We need to a militaristic nation to force our way of life on people? So I guess the Constituion is obsolete and outdated and needs changing. It is people like you that many nations in the Arab world hate us.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:07 | 1009115 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

All I said is we need is a non interventionist foreign policy just like Switzerland.

 

The Swiss are freezing assets..  Don't you think that's interventionist??

 

Pretty sure OPEC is re-evaluating the price of oil to hedge any potential frozen assets...

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:52 | 1009054 still kicking
still kicking's picture

And when a million unemployed troops come home then what?  Report unemployment at 30%?  There is a reason to have troops constantly in other countries.  Not right, but it's reality.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:04 | 1008389 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

If you thought Iraq and Afghanistan was bullish for terrorist recruitment, wait until they move in to SA and Oman to secure the oil.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:04 | 1008390 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

No blood for oil! No blood for oil!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:09 | 1008413 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

OIL? Who said anything about oil? We're there to protect the people and bring "democracy."

 

LOL!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:06 | 1008395 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Oh, stock market perhaps likes the Marines.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:06 | 1008398 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

These ~400 are the "platoons" that GW posted on 2/6.

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/american-warships-heading-egypt-keep-al...

But the ground guys for 26th MEU are in the Afghan.  So this is the pickup team from II MEF.

#938828

- Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:25 | 1008537 tjmc
tjmc's picture

Right.  Limited capability here.

Also worth noting is that Navy Gators w/ Marines aboard have been positioned in stand off positions like this for as long as (and in most cases longer than) most of us have been alive for every crises in the Med.  In and of itself, worth noting, but nothing to get excited about.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:29 | 1008556 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Used to have lots of time to read while shoehorned into dem gray boats.  <shivers to this day> - Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:08 | 1008407 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

According to Jim O Neil this is BULLISH.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:10 | 1008414 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

yeah, once again we are "liberating" other people of their wealth!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1008430 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

Shhhhhhhhh! We're bringing "democracy" to the people.We care about people, not oil!

 

Laughing out LOUD!

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:53 | 1008697 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

OK i have had just about enough of the cheap insinuations that the fine people in DC and the loving MIC would do anything other than help poor defenceless nations. Shame on you guys for thinking and saying anything else. Wave those Chineze made plastic flags and stfu will ya?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:06 | 1008800 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

actually i find this funny.  everyone here is "talking oil" but we just took their money!  30 billion! hahahahaha.  even Big Tator Tot didn't get it!  Perhaps a statement from the Prez:  "there's more where that came from folks!" will cheer 'em up?  How about "c'mon on in boyz, the water's just fine...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:09 | 1008415 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

"Why should a dried-up little country like Libya with a crazy dictator play havoc with America's economic security?"

--Arnold Schwarzenegger, March 1, 2011

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:37 | 1008610 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

I love Arnie, but perhaps the side-effects of steroidal abuse has finally caught up. America is at it's weakest point in all of its history. FACT.

America is on its knees...

The EU is on its last leg...

China is standing over us with a giant (ceramic) sword ready to behead.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:54 | 1008703 nathandegraaf
nathandegraaf's picture

Then why are they still buying our Bonds?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:57 | 1009066 still kicking
still kicking's picture

Wrong, we are the meth addict with a gun, completely worthless but entirely too dangerous to confront, they will bide there time till we just collapse.  They buy those bonds so that when we do collapse they have international law on their side to move in and seize any and everything of value, specifically our food production to feed their ridiculously large population.  Just keep feeding us the drugs till we give it all away.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:52 | 1008696 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

dunno, ask the folks in Lockerbie

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 00:23 | 1010236 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

y'know, I had to look that quote up as I really couldn't believe it was "real". . .

should have known better, of course. . . would that we could send all the shriveled old men who love wars over to actually fight in them, eh.

born in austria, pumped in Kalifornia, fuck yeah.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:10 | 1008419 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sadly though, this means there will be no more pictures like this one.

http://www.state.gov/img/09/31971/2009_04_21_libya_600_1.jpg

Pimpin' ain't easy!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:10 | 1008421 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

On BBC there was just a conversation in Libya with Kadafi.

The man was laughing all the questions away about leaving.

Just the list of what he owns is just stagering also: 80 billion dollar!

 

Mubarak : had 76 billion dollar

Mubarak his son : 70 billion dollar

...

Crazy!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:15 | 1008447 walküre
walküre's picture

What's Warren Buffet's net worth?

Who the fuck cares?

Why is the US so hell bent on fighting class warfare all of a sudden?

None of this mattered for over 40 years.

The US is bankrupt - again. Needs to go on a piracy binge overseas to recapitalize itself.

Disgusting.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:41 | 1008634 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well said.

ORI

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:16 | 1008469 voltaic
voltaic's picture

Those are Goldman Sack, JP Morgue type bonuses!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1008423 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Hey America, maybe you should have picked a president with some foreign policy experience rather than a community organizer.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1008429 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Expect the UN resolution quickly.  I was surprised by the contents of the previous one and how quickly it sailed through.  Obama has a way of talking - you have to read between the lines - this is definetly on.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:21 | 1008497 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Totally on. We are probably already in the air over Libya looking for targets, and on the ground with advanced teams. Drones and stealth aircraft crawling all over the place.

By the time it happens, it's going to already be over.

The oil fields will probably burn, regardless. Oh well.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:09 | 1008816 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I've heard "we're just gonna send in Time Warner."

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1008432 falak pema
falak pema's picture

The objective as I understand it is to enclave Q in his palace bunker in Tripoli. Allow civil movements elsewhere in that town. Secure its airport and allow the local tribe to slowly break away from the Q family clan. In the meantime, the tribes in Benghazi must elect new leaders to form provisional government; while they and US forces ensure all out ground/air cover blanketing to secure oil assets in East. If that happens, it will allow them to strangle Q in his bunker without attacking it as their mandate is not to spill blood. Period. It should work. The EU forces stand as back up and are providing humanitarian aid in Benghazi and Tunisia where there are 100 000 civilian temporary emigrants running away from Q's men.

This has created a big human rights problem in region. So Q's fate is sealed.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:25 | 1008901 Saxxon
Saxxon's picture

That sounds entirely plausible falak; but that's boots on the ground and probably without clips in.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:27 | 1009166 falak pema
falak pema's picture

This has a triple objective under UN aegis and multilateral support :

a) regime change for obvious reasons. This is irreversible. US Boots out asap.

b) regime creation, hopefully on democratic process. Will be a problem as total tribal culture. But can't get worse than before. The new generation will have to make it voice heard. Like in Tunisia/Egypt.

c) Secure Oil trade for world at market prices. Oil belongs to state. Should generate some wealth if it doesn't regress into despotism. But the whole region is moving out of despotism.

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 01:29 | 1010344 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

B is not compatible with C and probably A.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:13 | 1008437 Shylockracy
Shylockracy's picture

It pertains to the logic of dying empires to compound their strategic mistakes shortly before the lights go permanently out.

So far egypt's top brass military putsch has gone pretty well for the empire. But as soon as the marines land in Libyia, things will start to bubble in the Egyptian army, from the rank of major downwards.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:14 | 1008443 dabullify
dabullify's picture

Ran Squak says " two assault shits have enterd the Suez canal "

It just sounds so dirty..

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:28 | 1008921 Oleander
Oleander's picture

They are  "amphibious assault shits". They should make quite a mess when they hit the beach.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:16 | 1008445 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

fighting a war on two fronts (iraq/afghanisthan) dumb

fighting a war on three fronts when your broke ...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008467 walküre
walküre's picture

Correct.

They must be even more desperate than I thought all along.

None of this is moral, ethical or justified in any way shape or form.

We're going back to the darker ages and quickly.

The pirates on Wall Street are venturing out to sea again.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:57 | 1008719 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Broke? hell we have a huge stack of credit cards we havent even called the 800 number to activate.

 

fighting a war on two fronts (iraq/afghanisthan) dumb

fighting a war on three fronts when your broke ...

 

Fvkin priceless dude

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:00 | 1008743 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

that would be 3, you forgot Korea. Going on 4.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:15 | 1008452 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

This shows you how close Peak Oil is (hint right now)

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:15 | 1008455 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

We should send the USS Constitution ("Old Ironsides") back over there.

Just for fun.  Why can't we have a little fun while pretending to police the world?

"Captain Edward Preble recommissioned Constitution 13 May 1803 as his flagship, and made preparations to command a new squadron for a third blockade attempt. The copper sheathing on Constitution's hull needed to be replaced; this was the first of many times that Paul Revere supplied the copper sheets necessary for the job.

Constitution departed Boston on 14 August. On 6 September, near the Rock of Gibraltar, she encountered an unknown ship in the darkness. Constitution went to general quarters, then ran alongside of her. Preble hailed the unknown ship, only to receive a hail in return. After identifying as the United States frigate Constitution, he received the same question again. Preble, losing his patience, said: "I am now going to hail you for the last time. If a proper answer is not returned, I will fire a shot into you." The stranger returned, "If you give me a shot, I'll give you a broadside." Asking once more, Preble demanded an answer, to which he received, "This is His Britannic Majesty's ship Donegal, 84 guns, Sir Richard Strachan, an English commodore." as well as a command to "Send your boat on board." Preble, now devoid of all patience, exclaimed, "This is United States ship Constitution, 44 guns, Edward Preble, an American commodore, who will be damned before he sends his boat on board of any vessel." And then to his gun crews: "Blow your matches, boys!"  Before the incident escalated further, a boat arrived from the ship and a British lieutenant relayed his Captain's apologies"

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:22 | 1008507 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Why not?  She's still in commission in Boston.

http://www.history.navy.mil/ussconstitution/

http://www.ussconstitutionmuseum.org/

- Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:34 | 1008588 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Yeah, great idea!!  Isn't indiscriminate killing in all corners of the world amusing? 

After all, the US is only killing brown people.  And we ALL know they don't count.

I hope you were being sarcastic.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:01 | 1008729 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Old Ironsides was known for taking on and beating larger, "white people" boats during her active service.  Hardly indiscriminate. 

And yes, that was not a serious proposal.  I have posted plenty of serious stuff featuring Winston Churchill, The Peace to End All Peace, the systematic screwing of ordinary people in the Middle East for oil and empire, the validity of democratic political principles in Islamic societies, etc. from time to time.  

K?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:47 | 1009031 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Hey didn't mean to bust your balls dude.  I took exception to your post because it didn't sound consistent with what you've written before.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 21:42 | 1009773 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

(pats balls) all OK here.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:15 | 1008456 Drag Racer
Drag Racer's picture

THREAT OF STRIKE ACTION

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far
failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
by 25% this January from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
action.

General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are
literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't
ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a
kick in the teeth."

Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out
that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce
and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an
annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure
they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for
members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real
work?"

Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently
resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We
sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a
position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to
tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to
attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the
best people if I can't compete with the private sector?"
asked Mr. Bin-Laden.

Talks broke down this morning after management's final proposal of a
virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree
on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was
quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like
that... it's too much to swallow".

Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide
bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are
supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a
different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members
of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to
express solidarity with their striking brethren.

Spokespersons in the North East of England, Swindon, North Kent, and
the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect
their operations, as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

Apparently, the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what a
virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.

Live long and Prosper.

--author unknown

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:46 | 1008671 falak pema
falak pema's picture

should be printed in every newspaper from Indonesia to Mauritania.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:16 | 1008463 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Wait, a problem we think we can solve with a surgical strike against Moammar Gaddafi? Have I seen this movie before?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:22 | 1008509 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Works all the better with Charlie Sheen in the news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMvnH0i9nkE

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:28 | 1008550 BigJim
BigJim's picture

MmmmHmmm. And then we'll be welcomed as liberators.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008465 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

Will Israel send any troops to defend their backyard?

Maybe some cameramen with 100,000x zoom lenses...

Other than that full frontal combat is no place for cowards.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:33 | 1008571 TeamAmerica
TeamAmerica's picture

WTF?  In what sense is Libya relevant to Israel???   Please consult a map.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:55 | 1008701 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

TeamJerkoff. Pull your head out of your ass and wake the fuck up. Just because it's not Egypt does not mean it's not relevant. Go back to your MSM-Yahoo live facebook stream and have a oneway argument with Dylan Ratman.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:11 | 1008830 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Judge Judy!  My!  You have changed!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:17 | 1008855 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

My Catbird Seat. Don't leave home without it.

http://mycatbirdseat.com

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 19:36 | 1009386 Andy Lewis
Andy Lewis's picture

Judge Eva Braun is more like it.  Fuck off and die.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:55 | 1008709 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

*scratches head*

Then why is 'Merica invadin'?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:59 | 1008745 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

b/c 'merkia" can?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:12 | 1008831 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

Upon deeper more meaningful thought you may discover that 'merkia' is the puppet. The strings controlled by AIPAC.

Casualties to American troops, no problem.

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 00:31 | 1010257 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

a cuz 'merica has a volunteer army & paid mercenaries to keep busy.

mrka does the military side of the globalism gig, doncha know, it's what they get paid for.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008470 RemiG2010
RemiG2010's picture

we suggest you short Brent now.

Ok. Adding LONG positions.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:18 | 1008473 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

Update: Canada has now sent a warship to Libya as well.

 

 you mean to say Canada sent its entire navy

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:24 | 1008516 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Plus a warship!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:17 | 1008475 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Look at this!  It's a lousy 1 mbpd.  That's all.  Out of 85.

KSA can't provide the backstop and THE WORLD IS GOING MILITARY over a lousy 1 mbpd.

THERE IS NO SLACK IN THE SYSTEM.  Not even 1 mbpd's worth.

This sucker's going down.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:27 | 1008539 walküre
walküre's picture

Well, obviously that 1 mpd is only their official propaganda lie.

It's more than that and what's worse, the billion dollars invested into Lybia's desert by major oil corporations are about to go up in smoke. There is no way these companies or the banks that funded them can write this off.

We're talking massive financial losses.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:01 | 1008756 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Dat you smedely butler?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:27 | 1008547 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

  Yep, a lousy 1.2 mm bpd out of 73 mmbpd....

Don't conflate C+C with the other stuff that is called "oil".... There is a difference between filet and generic frozen hamburger patties.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:45 | 1008664 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

not to the starving there isn't, brother...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:42 | 1009004 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I suppose, but we are all starving now...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:05 | 1009103 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Yeah, I do that way too much.  My bad.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:19 | 1008492 JR
JR's picture

PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS : War Uber Alles – February 26, 2011

Quote:

“The United States government cannot get enough of war. With Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi’s regime falling to a rebelling population, CNN reports that a Pentagon spokesman said that the U.S. is looking at all options from the military side.

"Allegedly, the Pentagon, which is responsible for one million dead Iraqis and an unknown number of dead Afghans and Pakistanis, is concerned about the deaths of 1,000 Libyan protesters.

"While the Pentagon tries to figure out how to get involved in the Libyan revolt, the commander of U.S. forces in the Pacific is developing new battle plans to take on China in her home territory. Four-star Admiral Robert Willard thinks the U.S. should be able to whip China in its own coastal waters…

"War makes money for the politically connected. While the flag-waving population remains proud of the service of their sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, cousins, wives, mothers and daughters, the smart boys who got the fireworks started are rolling in the mega-millions.

"As General Smedley Butler told the jingoistic American population, to no avail, 'war is a racket.' As long as the American population remains proud that their relatives serve as cannon fodder for the military/security complex, war will remain a racket."

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:47 | 1008674 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Whoever junked you needs to go straight to the HOT PLACE - preach on Brother

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:02 | 1008774 nathandegraaf
nathandegraaf's picture

Agreed, even having read Smedley's bit on war should disqualify you from junking.  Plus you got it all right. Usually, the stuff labeled junk here is junk.  That threw me for a lil loop. 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:35 | 1009202 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

"Allegedly, the Pentagon, which is responsible for one million dead Iraqis and an unknown number of dead Afghans and Pakistanis...."

Actually, Islam, a mental infection, is responsible both for their deaths and the miserable lives that preceded their deaths.   The Pentagon arranged some meetings between some of these folks and their makers, yes.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:19 | 1008494 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Is the Canadian ship loaded with 60 cal guns topside, and a hull full of refined crude?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:21 | 1008500 taxpayer102
taxpayer102's picture

Expect the U.S. military Africa Command headquarters to move from Europe to

Libya. 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:22 | 1008504 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Green Jobs are cuming!

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:22 | 1008506 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I thought Obama promised 'no wars for oil'? Where are all his minions out in the streets of DC shutting down the joint? Oh, guess they were all just full of BS.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:15 | 1008841 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

better to be "for the war before you are against it" than "against the war before you are for it" perhaps?  sorry  "all options"...my bad.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:39 | 1009216 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

You forgot, with obummer as long as the UN is doing it, it is a good war.   He went on and on about how Afghanistan was the Good War, and tripled down after winning a Nobel for "Peace".

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:23 | 1008511 sharkbait
sharkbait's picture

Gee, I thought Republicans were the warmongers.  hmmm, interesting.  Oh yeah, must be a Halliburton thing.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:30 | 1008567 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Nice Shark, but my money is on Dick Cheney or Charlie Sheen.  Thanks for playing the MSM blame game:)

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:41 | 1008639 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

bait-this is the other team on the field, so it has to be that other outfit that also got the no-bid contracts in e.g. Katrina.  That would be Shaw Group, whose chairman was, you guessed it, Chairman of the Louisiana Democrat Party.

They also have the keys to the "Shaw (nee Haliburton) Hurricane Machine" ;-)

- Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:26 | 1008522 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

You know, I was just thinking that what we REALLY needed is another conflict to allow the military to suck more non-existent funds out of the US Treasury, and stretch our men and women in the armed forces fully to the breaking point. This way we can accelerate the financial collapse and have fewer armed service members stateside to protect us from Hizbollah and the Zetas when they start their covert terror-ops from the southern border...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:06 | 1008789 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Lol, I'm not scared of a few "terrorists" from either side of the border. In the Unites Slaves of Amnesia there is a rifle behind every blade of grass.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:25 | 1008530 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Ban Ki-Moon (UN Gen Sec) is on Al Jazeera right now prepping everyone for something really ugly. Calling for international unity "time is of the essence". Trying to get the Muslims onboard "our collective duty". Good luck with that.

It's going down, probably in 24 hours. Marines on the beaches, Apaches in the sky.

A red dawn for the Libyans. Good luck guys. Keep your head down.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:29 | 1008560 walküre
walküre's picture

If it can happen to Saddam, it can happen to Gaddafi.

It can happen to any xyz leader of any of these countries.

This time, there will be backlash. The world is not unified. It's all bullshit to presume they were.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:44 | 1008654 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

I thought Moon said "our corrective duty" and was a bit worried.  Thanks for clearing that up. - Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:18 | 1008859 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

He looked shaken to me. I assume he's seen The Plan and it isn't pretty.

He'll be talking almost without pause now about our collective duty. He's right of course, the bell tolls for all of us. But everyone is too stirred up now to care much about any collective duty

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:35 | 1008950 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

It's that old omission/commission thing cougar.

If you're in th esystem, you are the system

ORI

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:26 | 1009163 walküre
walküre's picture

He's right of course, the bell tolls for all of us

 

In what sense? Will American Idol be replaced by American Hero, where young men and women can line up to show their fighting talents?

Let banker's sons and daughters, and politician's sons and daughers enlist first. Put them right at the front lines where they can see first hand what their Daddy's money can buy.

Sick and disgusted by the whole lot.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:25 | 1008534 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

I'd set the odds that the US Marines will not hit the shores of Tripoli but they wouldn't be very high odds. maybe a 4:1 that they won't

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:02 | 1008594 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I'll stand by my similar claim from yesterday too #1006110
And as much as I appreciate ZH's close coverage of this issue I don't understand what they claim to have "predicted" here other than that U.S. marines are aboard a U.S. amphibious warship.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:27 | 1008542 polizeros
polizeros's picture

Apropos again!

Billy Bragg. It's All About The Price of Oil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjAhlh23zPM

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:28 | 1008549 polizeros
polizeros's picture

PS Re no-fly zone. What if they shoot at us? We'll shoot back, probably bomb, then everything goes spinning into the abyss

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:43 | 1008651 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

none of daffys inner circle is going to lift a finger to help him once it becomes clear he is toast.

 

they will be begging for someone to come in and help them dust him.

They have no will to fight us and won't need to.

 

Whatever gvt council they are forming now will slide in and with a few hundred of our guys sitting around taking in the sites this thing will be over in a week.

Nothing to it.

 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:32 | 1008938 Saxxon
Saxxon's picture

The Marines will not be allowed to shoot back; and neutralizing the Libyan AF will not take long.  We don't know anything.  This entire party may be to simply get MK out of there so that the new Colonel can take control.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:37 | 1008563 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

This is all being done to distract from Wall Street, discontent with politicians domestically and prevent oil prices from interfering with Emperor Ben's price fixing. The President needs a ratings bump and the chance to look Presidential. Nothing more nothing less.

Rasmussen Poll says 67% say to mind our own business on Libya. Will we listen? 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:32 | 1008572 walküre
walküre's picture

for some reason, I think they waited until AFTER the Oscars to pull this off.

no seriously.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:34 | 1008583 Lone Mad Minute...
Lone Mad Minute Medic's picture

I thought Gates just the other day said you need your head examined if you want to put troops in the ME?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:33 | 1008586 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Cheney just blew his first load since 2003

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:40 | 1008626 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

 That was an aneurysm in his prostate....

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:41 | 1008629 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Lol, the panama canal is now all clear.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:37 | 1008605 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

 we cant send the military in the Arabs will think we are trying to steal their oil .Wait... thats right we are trying to steal their oil

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:43 | 1008646 walküre
walküre's picture

They know.. and they're ready to deploy across the world.

I don't think our "leadership" has the faintest clue what is going to happen.

Gaddafi is a master mind and has tried to bring Arab fractions into alliances for decades. He's got connections to terrorism and is showing no restraints on his own people. If he's got the cash to hire mercenaries, he's got cash to hire a few suicide bombers or what have you and get them to strike back at us.

The situation is getting out of control and our leaders are clueless about it. Pentagon cannot win a war like that.

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 00:41 | 1010272 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

perpetual war machine

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:01 | 1008755 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

You obviously don't understand Canada's role in this (WIDE WORLD of MILITARY SPORTS) Where Is Howard Cosell when you need him?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:09 | 1008817 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

The "ayrapes" cant drill a fvkin tooth not to mention an oil well. it is just their tuff luck that they were born above the puddle.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 18:33 | 1009196 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

That was harsh. I'm a white boy, and have some very good middle eastern friends. We're talkin from the Shaw of Iran days. Please be reduce the generalities. Thanks.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 19:42 | 1009410 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Y-X

"We're talkin from the Shaw of Iran..."

u talkin' about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaw_Group

e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J.M._Bernhard_Jr.

http://www.shawgrp.com/about/overview/ceomessage

just wonderin'

- Ned

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:36 | 1008606 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

I once was a Nobel Peace Prize Winner, but now all I've got is this crappy "I wish I was born in Hawaii t-shirt"

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 17:06 | 1008801 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

HA! +1

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:39 | 1008613 walküre
walküre's picture

Wait! Doesn't QE2 officially run out of funds to buy debt paper by end of March?

There's no improvement in the economy and the debt cannot be sold other than by creating new debt.

Are funds from stock sales flowing into debt paper?

Creating a pretext for war some place, flushing the stock market and scaring investors into buying worthless American debt. Again.

Can it be they're going to succeed? Stocks down, commodities up. The money is going long into all types of commodities. This cannot be their plan. They must be scared shitless right about now. QE3 is not going to work, which they know.

I have a very bad feeling about all this. It is sooner than anticipated.

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