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US Department Of Truth Goes Full Retard After ISM Employment Index Prints At Highest Since 1973

Tyler Durden's picture


The total farce that is US diffusion index data continues, with the manufacturing ISM printing at 61.4 on expectations of 61.0, and compared to 60.8 previously. Contrary to what the respondents actually said (see below) there was not one adverse thing to be gleaned from the ISM data. In fact, the data is now so unbelievably ridiculous that the Employment Index came at 64.5, the highest since 1973! And this as the country sees roughly 17% in U-6 underemployment, and the number of Americans on food stamps, well over 40 million, is at an all time record. This lunatic number inspired the ISM's Ore to say that "Employment looks fantastic" even though in the next sentence he confirms that "many US companies are in a margin squeeze." Um, psychotic medications much? The US Department of Truth has now gone full retard.

A slightly more credible version of reality can be gleaned from the survey responses:

  • "A continued weak dollar is increasing the cost of components
    purchased overseas. It is going to force us to increase our selling
    prices to our customers." (
    Transportation Equipment)
  • "We continue to see significant inflation across nearly every type of chemical raw material we purchase." (Chemical Products)
  • "Our plants are working 24/7 to meet production demands." (Fabricated Metal Products)
  • "Prices continue to rise, while business limps along at last year's pace." (Nonmetallic Mineral Products)
  • "Overall demand is off 10 percent." (Plastics & Rubber Products)

Those who wish to liquefy their frontal lobes can do so here.

Here is the only chart that actually matters: ISM Employment vs NFP Change.

Enough with the endless lies already.


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Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:23 | 1006967 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

It's funny 'cuz it's true. 

Hey, why isn't anyone laughing?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:47 | 1007075 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture


FRB = Full Retard Biznitches


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:55 | 1007110 william the bastard
william the bastard's picture

Does stuttering count as partial retard? (Never go full retard)

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:00 | 1007128 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Can someone with Bberg Terminal post a chart of the calulated spread of that ISM/NFP correlation?

It looks like the recent spike would be epic -- that picture is worth a 1000-word teleprompt.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:24 | 1006972 H. Perowne
H. Perowne's picture

Well, we've already fulfilled War is Peace here in the grand US of A. Now we're working on Ignorance is Strength. Only one more tenet to go . . .

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:26 | 1006982 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Debt is salvation?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:38 | 1007045 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

pretty soon, debt won't be a problem anymore when the dollar loses more of it's value an inflation keeps kicking like a mule.


Here in Belgium, AFTER 2 MONTHS the spillindexes where passed. That means all government workers get a 3% wage increase next month. They already go one in januari (5%).

And then we wonder why countries with over half of all working people being government employees go bankrupt...


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:50 | 1007086 kaiten
kaiten's picture

Dont worry. No government, no problems. :D

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:47 | 1007082 Bob
Bob's picture

Slavery is Freedom.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:21 | 1007223 Quintus
Quintus's picture

Money = Debt

Money = Wealth

Therefore Debt = Wealth.

The essence of the Fiat currency system.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:41 | 1007052 Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby's picture

If you are not happy with the way things are, you are a looser. It's that simple, we live in the stainless steel triangle [Hollywood, Wallstreet, DC]. All points on this triangle have never done better. Iron curtain - fuck that, Amerika invented something way better.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:27 | 1006981 Clark Griswold
Clark Griswold's picture

And everybody knows...ya never go full retard.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:28 | 1006995 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

What we are witnessing here is typical of "official government" reports. While some truth (not much but some) can be gleaned from reading the actual document, the cover letter/synopsis/summary is nothing more than Goebbels inspired propaganda of the Orwellian kind.

The summary says "Nothing to find here that will tell you what you don't want to know. Carry on".

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007020 pods
pods's picture

Cue CD with an ALL IS WELL! Kevin Bacon image...............


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:17 | 1007199 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:30 | 1006998 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

"Enough with the endless lies already."

US Dental Association now recommends brushing your teeth 5 times a day with fluoridated toothpaste including vigorous brushing of your tongue.

Docile and servile.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:32 | 1007004 DeweyLeon
DeweyLeon's picture

I wish I'd never read 1984, I wish it were never written.  There's no way to hold any hope after reading it. 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:35 | 1007021 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I think what frightens you is not the book itself but rather the realization that perhaps it is not fiction.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:57 | 1007115 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

What frightens me most is that my fellow citizens are not only oblivious to the 1984 idea but unknowingly welcome and facilitate it.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:20 | 1007211 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

"The answer to 1984 is 1776" - Alex Jones.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:03 | 1007452 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

1984 strikes fear in all of us....The MO seems to more along the lines of "Brave New World", There is good information more prevalent than could ever be imagined, but everyone is amusing themselves to death to notice otherwise.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:03 | 1007454 Chump
Chump's picture

Or knowingly welcome it.

And it will only get worse.  After we hit full-stop most folks will be begging for Big Brother.  Don't be surprised.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:30 | 1007929 TeamAmerica
TeamAmerica's picture

That would explain the popularity of Fox News, wouldn't it? 

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:38 | 1007978 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Flippant response, but very correct on a subtle level...


I take that back... it isn't subtle at all.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:43 | 1008005 Chump
Chump's picture

Yep, along with MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, orange soda, grape soda, Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, Sewing with the Stars, American Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB, Medicare, Medicaid, UE, Welfare, Mortgage Interest Deduction, credit cards, HELOCs, Chinese trinkets, and cheap easy FRNs.

Oh wait, here you were trying be a partisan dickhole and I fucked it all up.  My bad.

"Fox News lies, Fox News lies, Fox New Lies."  Better?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:48 | 1007084 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

It's ok. In the end, you will come to love big brother.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:54 | 1007105 DeweyLeon
DeweyLeon's picture

And then comes the bullet...

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:34 | 1007289 pods
pods's picture

The proper mindset is to NOT fear the bullet, but to make them fear you.


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:31 | 1007009 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

What's that song? lies lies lies.... live lies at the senate. Long lies in every market.

Lies are the flavour of the season.

Still trading? You're either very brave, confident or downright foolish.


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007013 youngman
youngman's picture

And construction was are they manufacturing ghost things to sell..???

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:48 | 1007362 pods
pods's picture

The only thing they are manufacturing is bullshit.

Seems to be in high demand lately.


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007014 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

ore is the jeffery dahlmer of truth

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007019 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

They will lie and cheat until removed from the genepool TD.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007023 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Never go full'll come home empty handed.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:34 | 1007026 grunk
grunk's picture

"Retard" is such an insulting term.

How about "statistically challenged"?

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:39 | 1007047 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Reality averse.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:27 | 1007248 Head for the Hills
Head for the Hills's picture

Ever notice the degradation of clinical terms that describe people with a poor self image.

Retard, short for "mentally retarded", was the improved term to replace the clinical terms idiot, moron and imbecile that had become popular to describe people who likely didn't meet the criteria in full.  It almost seems like similar patterns in certain ethnic groups.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:32 | 1007941 TeamAmerica
TeamAmerica's picture

"certain ethnic groups"? cowardly.   Say what you mean, or just don't bother.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:35 | 1007027 oh_bama
oh_bama's picture

You guys are way too negative and unamerican!

More american retired early due to wealth effect, stock market strength, confidence and LOW inflation EXPECTATIONS!!


COMPUTER ENGINEERS in both software and hardware are in great demand!!

DId I tell you guys BTFD? If you did you should thank ME!!


Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:36 | 1007028 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

It can only get better from here. (got Au/Ag?)

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:38 | 1007041 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:38 | 1007046 Council of Econ...
Council of Economic Terrorists's picture

"Employment looks fantastic"

I think he is trying to say that there is a lot of labor available for the pickings.  Great value in other words.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:41 | 1007055 snowball777
snowball777's picture

"Employment looks fantastic" the 20% of Americans who don't have it.

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:41 | 1007050 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

is the body that release ISM a gov't agency? don't think it is

Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:42 | 1007064 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture
  • "Our plants are working 24/7 to meet production demands." (Fabricated Metal Products)

    Would this include weapons?

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:52 | 1007093 Misean
    Misean's picture

    It's a majority of the manufacturing base.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:46 | 1007079 c hook
    c hook's picture

    This is a small componment of the economy.  With the dollar crapping out, our goods look cheaper to the rest of the world.  It is not unbelievable that manufacturing companies would be hiring.  If the Services one shows a huge jump in employment then you are definitely on to something.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:50 | 1007088 TheMerryPrankster
    TheMerryPrankster's picture

    Food stamps are now used by more than 42 million Americans. The wide spread use has begun to put a real strain on grocery stores due to millions of shoppers showing up at stores on the 1st of the month when the SNAP swipe cards are loaded with credits.

    Grocers are asking for the credits to be loaded onto the cards on a staggered date basis to decrease the crowding and crowd control problems of having so much simultaneous "shopping" on one day.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:24 | 1007233 Council of Econ...
    Council of Economic Terrorists's picture

    The wonders of central planning...

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:55 | 1007397 Cruel Aid
    Cruel Aid's picture

    Elevated theft period.

    Some may shop for free, as in swamp the system.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:53 | 1007096 chunkylover42
    chunkylover42's picture

    from the report:

    Commodities Up in Price

    Aluminum (6); Aluminum Products (2); Brass (3); Brass Products (2); Cocoa; Copper (7); Copper Based Products (4); Corn (6); Diesel (3); Fuel Oils (2); Gasoline; Nickel; Plastics (2); Plastic Products (2); Plastic Resins (4); Polyethylene; Polyethylene Resin (2); Polypropylene (2); Rubber Products; Soybean Oil (4); Stainless Steel (4); Stainless Steel Products (2); Steel (6); Steel — Hot Rolled; Steel Products (3); Steel Surcharges (2); Sugar (2); Sulfuric Acid; and Wheat.

    Commodities Down in Price

    ***No commodities are reported down in price.***

    (emphasis added)

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:52 | 1007097 luk427
    luk427's picture

    Wile coyote reminds me of Ben Bernanke.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:03 | 1007141 Marge N. Callz
    Marge N. Callz's picture

    Ben Bernanke.  Looks retarded.  Acts retarded.  Not retarded?

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:04 | 1007468 Cruel Aid
    Cruel Aid's picture

    I saw this, (Harvard/MIT), guy trying to discuss advanced theoretical economics to a classroom of Junior High School children.

    He displayed the pain of extreme boredom and repetition.



    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:08 | 1007155 Hondo
    Hondo's picture

    Looks like the ISM peaks way above the NFP and just before the big decline sets in.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:12 | 1007168 Yardfarmer
    Yardfarmer's picture

    the impoverishment of imagination and subsequent and inevitable moral corruption is the necessary prerequisite for the diminishment of our intellectual capacities for sound judgment. all that massive leveraged expenditure for higher education seems to have manufactured a general, predictable, and willful ignorance amenable to the conditioning and management of perception which these constant statistical manipulations represent. the sleep of reason breeds monsters.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:57 | 1007414 pods
    pods's picture

    Actually the non-dischargeable student loans leave little room for the people when they leave college but to get on the hamster wheel.

    Then it takes so much energy just to get by that they cannot (or will not) take the time to realize how bad they have been screwed.


    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 16:59 | 1008638 slewie the pi-rat
    slewie the pi-rat's picture

    yo, yerdfimrR:  i liked this: " seems to have manufactured a general, predictable, and willful ignorance amenable to the conditioning and management of perception which these constant statistical manipulations represent." (moi w/ the amphAtix)

    thank you!  farm aid is ok w/ slewie.

    too bearish:  no, the ISM crapola is NOT from the goobermint, but t.y., mr. bonez!  here's the Committee 0n SuStain/a-Bull-ity and S0cial Rep0nsibility, cutnpastiez: 

    Cathy A. Rodgers     (5/13)
    Vice President, Global Opportunities and Business Development
    IBM Global Services
    495 La Canada Court
    Morgan Hill, CA 95037

    DeLynne Ano     (5/13)
    Director, Supplier Diversity & Sustainability
    The Walt Disney Company
    500 S. Buena Vista St.
    Burbank, CA 91521-6719
    Phone: 818/567-5564

    Regina O. Edwards, J.D.     (5/12)
    Director, Supply Chain Compliance
    11013 West Broad St
    Glen Allen, VA 23060

    Dennis M. Gawlik, C.P.M.     (5/13)
    Director-Purchasing Services
    University of Washington
    3917 University Way NE, Box 351110
    Seattle, WA 98195-1110

    Diane O'Connor, CPSM     (5/13)
    VP, Post Sale and Supply Chain Procurement
    Xerox Corporation
    800 Phillips Road, 205-99P
    Webster, NY 14580

    Drew Schramm      (05/13)
    Senior Vice President, Global Supply & Logistics
    Herman Miller Inc.
    855 E. Main Avenue
    Zeeland, MI 49464

    Steve Smiley, C.P.M.     (5/13)
    VP, Strategic Supply
    Master Halco
    2528 Tequestra
    Tustin, CA 92782

    ISM Contact
    Scott R. Sturzl, CPSM, CPSD, C.P.M., A.P.P.
    Vice President - Education
    PO Box 22160
    Tempe, AZ 85285-2160
    480/752-6276 ext. 3105
    Fax: 480/752-7890

    These ISM  LEADERS are all about the ethical and conduct standards found here: ISM - Tools - Principles and Standards of Ethical Supply Management Conduct

    And they also are quite up front about their Principles of Sustainability and Social Responsibility, ici:  ISM - Social Responsibility - ISM Principles of Sustainability and Social Responsibility

    so, yes, these shitheads fit hand-in-glove with any and all of the fabulous nanny-state principles and guidelines which the wwPTA could EVER freaking agree upon.. 4 US, too. how kind of them, no? 

    must go now.  prepare for a trip to my state sen.'s office to see if they can tell me, after a week, now, why the fuk i was charged SALES TAX when i bought "Barber" half-dollars, quarters, and dimes, last week, for a tad above melt/now below melt @ 24X face value, from a nearby ANA coin pro. 

    After all, these ARE  US MINT-produced 90% Silver coinage, defined by the CONSTITUTION as "money".  so, why the fuk did the State of Cali  take almost $30 of slewie's FRN's when i traded FRN's for U.S. MONEY?

    the people in the office are very nice,  but they have asked me now, 4-5 times for my name and phone #.  for some reason. probably just want to see if i'm homeless, yet and w/out a phone, so they can do what the goobermints due bestest:  Help Me!

    here's leon singing from the crossroads: YouTube - Leon Russell Come on in My Kitchen


    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:14 | 1007176 Robert Neville
    Robert Neville's picture

    Look at the NAP chart after the 70's peak. It speaks for it's self.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:14 | 1007185 Dick Darlington
    Dick Darlington's picture

    Diffusion magic. It's the same pretty much everywhere one looks, not just in US. Just by looking at these one would think everything is better than ever has been on planet earth. Only the reality refuses to live up to the rosy picture painted by these surveys.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:19 | 1007205 docj
    docj's picture

    But is there any news about the increased chocolate ration, citizen?

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:58 | 1007426 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    It's up 25%!

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:24 | 1007236 topcallingtroll
    topcallingtroll's picture

    I hate to be such a troll, but if we would end.all unemployment benefits now and just give people a bus ticket to where the jobs are then our unemployment rate would drop faster.

    There are plenty of chicken processing and farmhand jobs in the south now that they have cracked down on illegal aliens.

    All the unemployment benefits do is merely postpone the day people take that downscale job, but with hardwork you could be crew boss someday. Hard work in the fresh air is good for you.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:01 | 1007443 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    "Arbeit macht frei"

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:07 | 1007487 karzai_luver
    karzai_luver's picture



    I think it better to give them bus tickets and maps of the top 1% hideouts and let them extract some value from those locations.

    Then once looted we can turn those locations into chicken processing centers.


    After all the best fresh air would be found in those locations.

    You ever smelled the air around the locations you wish to bus people?

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:27 | 1007252 Robslob
    Robslob's picture

    This is a simple attempt to keep everyone "still working" to "keep spending" until it is all too late.

    That is all...over and out!

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:47 | 1007352 walküre
    walküre's picture

    There is a reason to this madness.

    Propaganda is all it is.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:50 | 1007370 PulauHantu29
    PulauHantu29's picture

    Funny how that works.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 13:30 | 1007612 glenlloyd
    glenlloyd's picture

    Things are just getting stupid

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:13 | 1007836 Reptil
    Reptil's picture

    Look what the Pentagon's thinktank IWSP just came up with:

    I'd laugh if it wasn't so sad.

    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 14:49 | 1008036 RichardENixon
    RichardENixon's picture

    Please note these definitions of fantastic:



    conceived or appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained imagination; odd and remarkable; bizarre; grotesque: fantastic rock formations; fantastic designs. 2.
    fanciful or capricious, as persons or their ideas or actions: We never know what that fantastic creature will say next. 3.
    imaginary or groundless in not being based on reality; foolish or irrational: fantastic fears.
    Tue, 03/01/2011 - 20:59 | 1009646 Johnk
    Wed, 03/02/2011 - 01:44 | 1010359 long-shorty
    long-shorty's picture

    has anyone considered this ISM data is accurately reflecting the industries it's supposed to reflect?

    cash for clunkers raised car sales when it was ongoing by pulling forward demand. homebuyer tax credit raised home sales by pulling forward demand.

    you've got a huge depreciation tax break that is essentially "cash for capex," at the same time as ZIRP and QE2. of course the industrial sector is doing somewhat decently right now. and obviously one would expect the wheels to fall off the bus once all of this stimulus is over and much of what the normal level of demand would have been has already been pulled forward.



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