US GDP Data May Be Delayed Due To Fire At Commerce Department

Tyler Durden's picture

And now for the envelope... oops, it just burned down. Oh well. First no budget, now, no GDP. According to unsubstantiaed rumors, the fire is headed to the records room at the US Treasury next. Unfortunately for our creditors, there will soon be no paper record we owe money to anyone. And like that, our $13.1 trillion in debt, it's gone.

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Rick64's picture

I hate when that happens.

Jeff Lebowski's picture

Was the GDP data hand written on a napkin?

Credibility fail.

Rick64's picture

This is what happens when you cook numbers written on a napkin.

Rick64's picture

double post. too much coffee.

Hansel's picture

Clearly, the files were not in the computer.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

It is handy to write important things on a napkin...If it should happen that NO FIRE occurs, then you can always claim that "THE DOG ATE IT."

I know I'm not the only one here who has used this...

Inspector Asset's picture

Ah yes, that sound like a good plot!

After the great war, paper records all lost, digtial records are fudged.


A need for a world wide curreny, but this time for many reasons (security, tax evasion) the plan calls for insering a chip into everyone's fore arm instead of debit cards.


JP Morgan has even stated it will deposit a $1000 into the accounts of all the people who come forward and volunteer themselves for the chip.  That ought to get the stimulas situation burning along with the feds balance sheet. 

Now I see why the Fed needs to have a direct connection into people's homes.  They need to monitor those chips, make sure, the next Bill Gates isn't hacking the system for a few extra bucks into his account.

Inspector Asset



cossack55's picture

Hey! I made reference to the Reichstag 2 days ago.  More proof TPTB are reading ZH.  Thats good.  Keep them out of the history books.

Ethics Gradient's picture

Godwins law by post 4?


goldfreak's picture

Zerohedge and the goldbugs did it, round them up

Arius's picture

no, just is enough, and just to be safe lets claim he is not okay...mentally...


Catullus's picture

We don't need no water let that mother....

Tic tock's picture

hopefully the fire has been contained

cossack55's picture

Or if it spreads to Tres. and 33 Liberty, Poof! no debts.  Of course the IRS buildings are constructed of asbestos.

docj's picture

Just ask Goldman.  I'm sure they had the number before yesterday.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

No budget, no exports, no GDP figures, no need for a commerce dept...

Next up OMB sinks into swamp that DC is built on?

All FDIC employees take early retirement option on the same day?

FED moves head quarters to Bahamas for tax advantages?

Mesquite's picture

Previous Prez moves to Paraguay...

kaiten's picture

The fire begun while they were cooking the data. ;p

Arius's picture

a couple of years ago, the Commerce stopped issuing M3 because of costs ("printing paper), there is a fire and they cant issue cant help thinking what is next????

My guess will be "shut up" just take it!  open and clear so there are no misunderstanding....yeah well, life goes on....nothing to see just move on....everything is OKAY...we always come back stronger...

Wyndtunnel's picture

Oh really? *sigh*

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Sir, do you like your financial data rare, medium or well done ?

Tense INDIAN's picture

i guess this will be the funniest recession i will ever be in .....

MichiganMilitiaMan's picture

Yeah, laughing all the way to the apocolypse.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

This will be the last recession you'll ever be in. It's all depression from here. Doesn't matter where you start counting if the final number is always zero.

MichiganMilitiaMan's picture

Just the encouragement I was looking for.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Not funny like "ha-ha,"  funny like "queer."

(not you -- the current reality)

Advoc8tr's picture

Now that takes the cake ..... wonder what the diversion event [between now and when they 'recover' the GDP data]  will be?

cossack55's picture

When the FD opened the hydrants someone lit a cigarette and the whole block exploded. Something about fracking.

ColonelCooper's picture

As the Church Lady used to say:

"That's conveeeeenient."

NumberNone's picture

Other excuse offered but not used:

- We do the GDP calcs on solar powered calculators and it was cloudy in DC yesterday.

They probably picked the better excuse.  Maybe they could blame the fire on an Obama cigarrette incident. 

jkruffin's picture

WOW, they are talking evacuating the gulf coast, holy bajezzzzus.

"We're going to have to evacuate the gulf states," said Matt Simmons, founder of Simmons and Co., an oil investment firm and, since the April 20 blowout, the unflagging source of end-of-the-world predictions. "Can you imagine evacuating 20 million people? . . . This story is 80 times worse than I thought."

NumberNone's picture

To quote another poster somewhere else "They've murdered the Gulf.."


IBelieveInMagic's picture

The mythical "they". "We" is more succinct.

pan-the-ist's picture

Anyone that drives...

Think dustbowl 1930-1936 except the population of the Gulf Coast is much larger than the Okies. 

Hopefully this won't impact Favre's revenge on the Saints, or that will ruin my year.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Future headline..."Saints repeat as Super Bowl Champs after relocation of team to Anchorage Alaska!"

tmosley's picture

BS.  I didn't tell BP that they couldn't drill in 500 ft of water, forcing them to go drill somewhere at the edge of their experience.  

It's like blaming people who use electricity for Chernobyl.  It wasn't the fault of the people, it was the fault of those in the government who made the dumbassed decisions. 

pan-the-ist's picture

It was partially BPs fault, many wells have been drilled in deeper water and then deeper underground.  BP cut corners.  If the government has any fault it is because they didn't have a 'well inspector' on site to check that non-existent rules were being followed.

If I have to have an inspector check to make sure that I nailed my roof on correctly, it stands to reason that BP aught to have one to make sure their fucking oil well is drilled properly.

Your thinking is backward, BTW.  BP and others would never allow inspectors and regulations as they are 'self regulated.'  The problem is that any regulation of a corp is seen as waste and our government doesn't govern.  Your short sightedness seems to be part of the problem.  Then rather than produce quality products (wells in this case) they hedge their shit with insurance because it is cheaper than doing quality work...  This is called risk management.

If this were a shitty well in 500 feet of water the 'perceived' damage would be much worse and tougher for BP to hide.

It is partially my fault for driving and consuming oil.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Here is more on the situation from 'Peak Oil' site, quoting Simmons and summing up situation with a tropical system approaching and predicted to push crude oil, methane gas, hydrogen sulfide gas, benzene and methelyne chloride ashore in the Gulf States.

Also predicted tracks of approaching tropical system.

cbaba's picture

All GDP data is cooked, they need some time to adjust to new developments, when debt increases they have to increase the GDP, employ some more government workers and voila, suddenly everything looks good.


Turd Ferguson's picture

Mandy's pressed-straight hair today is giving me a morning missile.

slovester's picture

Bernanke and Obama were quickly at the scene - Ben doused the fire with gasoline while Obama did a solo on the lyre.