US Must Create 245,500 Jobs A Month To Return To December 2007 Employment Rate By End Of Obama Second Term

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Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:33 | 1124783 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

"By End Of Obama Second Term"

I just spit coffee all over my screen.  Nice comedic relief!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:37 | 1124799 connda
connda's picture

I just choked on my cookie and passed milk through my nose.  That was funny!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:51 | 1124871 Ray1968
Ray1968's picture

Change you can believe in!

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:12 | 1124940 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

Chains you can believe in!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:36 | 1125039 American Dissident
American Dissident's picture

APRIL FOOLS!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:45 | 1124840 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

I just felt a wave of nausea.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 11:16 | 1125158 stoverny
stoverny's picture

what comic relief?  Obama wins against almost any of the losers the Republicans can toss out against him. 

 

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 13:26 | 1125577 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Personally I liked the Depression beginning in December 2007 remark, I agree too.

Obama's second term...? That shit makes me cry at night all over my pillows.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 14:05 | 1125793 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

me 2 :/

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:32 | 1124784 Fearless Rick
Fearless Rick's picture

7.5% unemployment will get Obummer re-elected, bitchez!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:38 | 1124809 docj
docj's picture

Yep - the political appointees at the Ministry of Truth will print whatever number they think they need to print in order to get 4-more years at the public teat.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:51 | 1124863 Ray1968
Ray1968's picture

With data manipulation they will get the number there. Reality, however, will tell a different story. The government will lose credibility (assuming there was any begin with)

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:01 | 1124902 Founders Keeper
Founders Keeper's picture

[With data manipulation they will get the number there. Reality, however, will tell a different story. The government will lose credibility...]---Ray1968

And with it, credibility in the currency. Hallmark of hyperinflation. History is predictable.

They will undo themselves; they cannot help themselves.

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:04 | 1124913 Ray1968
Ray1968's picture

they cannot help themselves.

Agreed. The die is cast. We no longer have men of character nor do we have a society that is willing to do what it takes to fix the problem. The pain will be too great for voluntary correction, so they will wait until death is upon us.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:16 | 1124962 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

8.8%

 

WTF!?!

 

Just saw an interview on Bloomberg with Betty Liu and some smug White House lackey who said, and I'm paraphrasing, "Of course, this doesn't count the people who dropped out of the workforce and are not looking for employment, but should they start looking again, we will count them."

 

Brilliant.  Fucking brilliant.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:17 | 1124954 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

The lapdog Media, Socialist Labor Unions, and entitlement-brokerage non-profits WILL subvert our 2012 elections anyway.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 11:23 | 1125169 Founders Keeper
Founders Keeper's picture

Was 2010 the last free and fair election?

Will 2012 be the last free and fair election?

Am wondering.

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 12:00 | 1125287 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

Don't forget the disputed results and the 51% wins for Bush on 2000 and 2004. Don't kid yourself, I don't think we've had a relatively "fair" one since maybe the 1980s?

This just came out about 2010:

http://thehill.com/homenews/house/153079-gop-says-5000-non-citizens-voti...

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:34 | 1124785 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Yes we can do that! At least that is what will be reported.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:33 | 1124790 Robslob
Robslob's picture

The only thing the US can create are SPY trading units and fiat currency

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:33 | 1124791 alexwest
alexwest's picture

please draw chart showing what year US FEDERAL BUDGET deficit is going to be zero? cant wait to see one

more jobs. more income, more taxes, deficit is less..
alx

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:44 | 1124821 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

To save you the suspense my calculations have that occuring around the year technology has advanced to the level that Ted Williams head is reaninamated and affixed to a cyborg. As a matter of fact I am hearing we will celebrate this occasion and victory for Keynesian policies by having Ted personally air drop the last dollar owed to China as he cruises past them on his hoverboard. Im just sad I will not be around to see this day.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:35 | 1124794 docj
docj's picture

What's the number of jobs that have to be created monthly once you subtract-out the totally made-up "birth-death adjustment" to NFP, I wonder.  Probably rather well north of 300K.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:37 | 1124796 tmosley
tmosley's picture

We're gonna need a bigger ink cartridge.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:39 | 1124805 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

It's amazing how quickly the zeitgeist here has changed from QE3 is inevitable to QE3 is dead. I guess QE Lite continues. I guess we will see whether this market can stay levitated without the prospect of more overt moneyprinting by Ben. I still think that Faber is right : "The moneyprinter will print" but how is the question.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:58 | 1124897 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

successive rounds of publicly disclosed austerity and stimulus...  while, probably, at the same time running background stimulus/guarantees/swaps...  the only question is whether the economy implodes as planned or explodes from too much explosive charge.  Either way, it ends in a hyperinflationary depression.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:18 | 1124971 Founders Keeper
Founders Keeper's picture

[successive rounds of publicly disclosed austerity and stimulus...]---MachoMan

Thanks for your post, Macho.

I'm in the QE3, 4, 5, etc. camp. However, the term "QE" will likely be a avoided as a matter of talking point policy. Very much like March 2009 when the Fed went to the TBTF banks and informed them another public bailout would not be tolerated by the public; instead, the Fed did a quiet work-around to float the banks.

Expect QE3, 4, 5, etc. but it may be a quiet work-around. They print. They always print.

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:51 | 1125081 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Yes.  "background stimulus".  The goal is a successive decrease in the amount of stimulus, aka a controlled demolition.  The problem, of course, is that not only the % of debt to revenues matters, but also the aggregate debt...  meaning, unless it's actually being worked off, we're just digging the hole deeper, even if some type of organic recovery occurs and as a percentage, we look errr better or we look better relatively speaking by doing "less" stimulus.

QE may always be disregarded for a more advantageous term.  However, make no mistake, we will take to the streets to demand stimulus...  in the form of continuation of entitlements.  While it may be politically impossible to stuff through another TARP to the banks, it will not be to stuff through a Teachers Airmen Retirees and Patrolmen (TARP) stimulus act of 2011.  

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 14:14 | 1125829 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Faber is correct.

QE 18 will be implemented in the name of "National Security". This will be during the Hyper-Inflationary Depression of course.

Successive QE will be checks in the mail or entries into every bank account.

Listen to Marc explain this in the lecture he gave to the Mises Institute in early 2010 months in front of QE2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0sS6a9RW2E

go ahead 14 mins in

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:38 | 1124810 Fearless Rick
Fearless Rick's picture

Where's Harry Wanger! He's kicked the crap out of most of our resident geniuses by picking stocks using the tried-and-true "throw darts" method.

Wall Street is laughing its ass off at ZH. Time to get back to work, serfs!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:49 | 1124862 Dagny Taggart
Dagny Taggart's picture

Someone has blog envy... Did the mean old management at Moody's deny your vacation time again?

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:41 | 1124819 Fearless Rick
Fearless Rick's picture

And Tyler is looking for more gloom and doom to keep the readership numbers up. How many articles on NFP today? The over/under is five.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:47 | 1124845 umop episdn
umop episdn's picture

Teh internets is a big place, and you are certainly free to go elsewhere, Mr. Rearless Fick.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:53 | 1124872 Fearless Rick
Fearless Rick's picture

Ha, ha, you're so funny and clever, switching the fist letters on my name. Think I'll hang out here and disrupt the scary "Fight Club" loonies until I set a new record for junks. Government wins, losers!

Come on, punch me, bitchez!

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:10 | 1124931 Kina
Kina's picture

sigh. another legless vagina scraping across the carpet.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:49 | 1124855 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're here reading so he must be doing something right, you government troll.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:43 | 1124822 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Obama can quickly improve the job situation by starting a really big war. A military draft will instantly take unemployment to zero. First you start by keeping any wars remaining from prior administrations going. Next you start a little war for oil somewhere and tell everyone it's for humanitarian reasons........

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:45 | 1124834 connda
connda's picture

Wouldn't it be cheaper in the long run just to give everyone in the US $1,000,000, tax it at 90%, and let everyone pay off their unsecured debt or buy 50 inch plasma screen TVs?

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 11:06 | 1125122 quartshort
quartshort's picture

Unfortunatly, 50" plasmas would cost $200,000 if that event were to take place. :(

Here's my idea: Hang CONgress in Times Square and send corrupt CEO's to the Ivory Coast w/ the shirts on their backs and a shovel.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:44 | 1124837 max2205
max2205's picture

NP just print jobs

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:46 | 1124844 magpie
magpie's picture

Who knows, QE is stopped, crash, bonds go up, rates are raised, PIMCO and the Chinese jump back in, zero sum game, but the end of the world is averted.

Then again the USA may participate in Yentervention XXL QE "Fukushima Edition" afterwards and the little wallowing Euro-PIIGies printathon.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:48 | 1124848 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I don't know nothing about no employment problems.  What I do know is that the criminal syndicate Wall Street whipping boys must be doing a very poor job of making more very "special" algorithms purchase shares of Apple, the world's largest maker of zombies.

It is as if someone walked into Duncan Niederauer little secret closet and said, "Computer...end program Zombie...and Earl Grey, hot!"

Someone should co locate Jordi quickly, and make sure the KG60 modulator is still working in the holodeck NYSE. 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:01 | 1124904 magpie
magpie's picture

Their downgrade to market perform could begin to weigh more in days to come.

Was that the way to treat America's darling and #1 producer of non-inflationary foodstuffs ?

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:47 | 1124851 gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

As one well known mind control propaganda puppet says, "keep on dancing till the world ends!"

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:47 | 1124852 Fearless Rick
Fearless Rick's picture

Over: 7 articles related to NFP. Number of typos in headlines: 2. TD needs to add +1 to the NFP data by hiring a proofreader.

Now, where's that CogDis guy? Zero Hedge readers are suffering from CD by not believing that government can create statistics to "match the policy." Now where did we hear that term before?

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 09:51 | 1124870 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Winning the future fuckers.

Jobs 2012

The sycophants at HuffPo are in engaged a triumphant mass delusion, a veritable Keynesian victory orgy.

I want out.

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:00 | 1124895 RKDS
RKDS's picture

Ha, as if anybody with the money to hire or invest wants to create jobs...

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:00 | 1124900 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

US Must Create 245,500 Jobs A Month To Return To December 2007 Employment Rate By End Of Obama Second Term

 

 

US Must REPORT 245,500 Jobs A Month To Return To December 2007 Employment Rate By End Of Obama Second Term

There....all better.

 

 

 

 

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:31 | 1125009 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Oh good grief!  Brother boiler...you forgot to say "computer."

Get a room over at the Roach Motel [SPY], embrace the algorithm, unpack, and grab a free cocktail down in the lounge.  Be the criminal syndicate Wall Street banker inside of you!

"Computer...run diagnostic on crew member boilermaker.  Report."

Fri, 04/01/2011 - 10:01 | 1124901 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

The old canard of "lies repeated often enough become the truth" is beginning to lose its relevancy as even the HS dropouts check their empty pockets and exclaim WTF!

Look for more illegal drugs to flood the market at lower prices to keep the sheeple medicated.

"Hope and change" morphs to "high and broke".

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