From Vega Strategies
Humble Loan Request
Ben Shalom Bernanke, we the entrepreneurs of the United States of America request that you divide one upcoming day's worth of asset purchases between Wall Street and us, to wit, may the tiny sum of $3 billion, minuscule juxtaposed with the hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars you are feeding your Primary Dealers and their clients in your Quantitative Easing program, may the modest sum of $3 billion be used for a pilot program to purchase securities issued by American entrepreneurs in connection with the startup of 3,000 validly formatted new business enterprises, such $3 billion to be used to purchase $1 million of the Perpetual Subordinated Capital Securities of each. Your pilot program, Ben Shalom, will show results almost immediately, thereupon you should expand the program, first to $5 billion, a little more than half of one major day's worth of asset purchases, for the startup of 5,000 validly formatted new business enterprises, then to $7 billion, almost all of just one major day's worth of asset purchases, for the startup of 7,000 validly formatted new business enterprises. A validly formatted new business enterprise is one with a valid business purpose and whose management is mentored by the SBA's resource partner the Service Corps Of Retired Executives. The SBA will manage the Perpetual Subordinated Capital Securities positions purchased by the Federal Reserve System. Transactions will be executed on a first come, first served basis, venture capitalists aka vulture capitalists neither welcomed nor required.
We will lay to it that many tens of thousands of new jobs will be created and that levels of resource utilization will be raised! We will lay to that, Ben Shalom! That's what you say your mission is! Foster maximum employment and price stability! Know that few if any economists, only the most dismal of your dismal scientists, will aver that the risk of high inflation being specifically unleashed by this loan of yours is so high that the creation of tens of thousands of new jobs should be subordinated to the liquidity requirements of your Primary Dealers and their clients!
Consider this humble loan request as on your desk, Ben Shalom, with best regards, through the good offices of Zero Hedge!
Ben Shalom Bernanke, thus said your Federal Open Market Committee in its most recent statement on January 26th: "... Although the Committee anticipates a gradual return to higher levels of resource utilization in a context of price stability, progress toward its objectives has been disappointingly slow... The Committee will regularly review the pace of its securities purchases and the overall size of the asset purchase program in light of incoming information and will adjust the program as needed to best foster maximum employment and price stability."
On that selfsame day, Ben Shalom, as was revealed a day later, you had to disclose a surge in the periodic average daily Excess Reserves of the zombie banking system of the United States of America, on deposit with you, for which you pay the zombie bankers their money good 25 basis points rate so they might sleep peacefully without the disturbance of nightmares of losing their zombie jobs of saying no no no no no no no a thousand times no to Americans that do, with all due respect to the too big to fail Wall Street bankers who view Main Street as a mass of unqualified and uneducated rabble, want to work and innovate and strive for a better life. Said average daily Excess Reserves were preliminarily quantified at $1.041 trillion for the two week reporting period ended January 26th, a 3.1% increase from just two weeks earlier! And it gets even worse, you just disclosed an even bigger surge for the two week reporting period just ended February 9th, with average daily Excess Reserves preliminarily quantified at $1.092 trillion, an additional 4.9% increase! What an outrage are your zombie banks with their zombie bankers performing their zombie banking! Your zombie banking system, Ben Shalom, is dead.
You don't have to be Adam Smith, Joseph Schumpeter, or Ludwig von Mises to know, Ben Shalom, that the United States of America is experiencing a supercritical capital formation crisis that is beginning to permanently impair the wealth creating engine of the American civilization. And that impairment must be fought! The money managers and hedge fund managers and their prime brokers neither can nor will create one job, save unwittingly or unintentionally, the Neurotic Markets Hypothesis explains this, Dr. Freud explains this, their most preferable holding period, Ben Shalom, the time it takes you to snap your fingers, is hardly sufficient for the building of a nanotechnology factory for a startup cleantech company in Cleveland or the equipping of a second laboratory for a biotech company in Boston or the shooting and editing of a horror movie in Miami or even the inventorying of a jalapeno and jack sandwich cart on the streets of San Antonio.
Ben Shalom Bernanke, wake up! Get your nose out of your econometric models and instruct your monetary policy wonks to do the same. Walk the streets of our cities and talk to the American people about their fears and their hopes and their dreams. Then grant us the entrepreneurs of America this humble loan and watch the real laws of economics go to work! Ben Shalom, this humble loan request is on your desk! To hell with the derisking of financial engineers not well meaning, it is not working, give dederisking a chance. Time to give up the zombie bankers and zombie financiers for dead and bet on America! Time to do your job, Ben Shalom, time to do your job! So what do you say to America? Yes or no? Yes or no? With respects to Shylock, three billion dollars 'tis not a good round sum, it is a crumb! So, yes or no, pray you answer, sir, will you lend to us or no?
Your lending decision, Ben Shalom, post it on Zero Hedge, or, alternatively, email us at vega [dot] strategies [at] ymail [dot]com and we will post it on Zero Hedge. À tout à l'heure!