Wall Street Slogans For The Centrally-Planned Generation

Tyler Durden's picture

And now for something different. From Omid Malekan, the brains behind "the Bernank", and the xtranormal short clip cottage industry, comes this clip of proposed replacement sayings for that old adage of "Sell in May and go away." Alas, since the market is no longer, free, rational, or for lack of a better word, a market, but merely a plaything of the central banks, it is indeed time to provide a new set of slogans, especially since "BTFD" is getting a little stale. Among our favorite proposals: "Buy today's cause it's early May", "Buy tomorrow with funds you borrow", "Buy next week when the market is at a peak", "Buy like crazy when the outlook is crazy", "Buy all commodities without hesitation, but don't dare we have inflation", "Buy the REITs cause real estate is on fire, but don't you dare become an actual home buyer", and, without doubt the best: "Buy everything and laugh all the way to the bank, cause if any market ever goes down, you can sell to the Bernank." As usual, readers are encouraged to provide their own.

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CitizenPete's picture

BTFAgD  P-h-y-s-i-c-a-l Bitches


In honor of burial of frozen cartoon bodies at sea:  

The new iMac has arrived.!  

anynonmous's picture


New interview on Bin Lad with Leon Panetta

worth the read e.g.


 one final time, enhanced interrogation techniques -- which has always been kind of a handy euphemism in these post-9/11 years -- that includes water boarding?

LEON PANETTA: That's correct

Chuck Walla's picture

How did they tear him away from CNN?

j.darkness's picture

japan will relieve

the bernanke of his qe

counterstrike in 3...

Silver Pullet's picture

Paper silver is what you wunt, you can pull all you like out of Blythe Masters

Bananamerican's picture

"Imagine an ES buying algo boot stamping on a human face...in May....forever"

it's catchy, doncha think?

Tail Dogging The Wag's picture


Sell to the Bernank! lol

Sorry for the spam folks, here it is:

Do you own farmland and real estate outside of your home country?

In times of change you need new alternatives and new ideas.

Land in Panama is one of the most undervalued assets in 2011.




Raynja's picture

sell your silver cause the comex can't deliver

Raynja's picture

29% stop loss on a flash crash so we can take your cash

rocker's picture

He could have said it is different now.   The New Trading Market:   It didn't count.

"Flash Crash, No Problem, Flash Trash".    The Trade.    Seems everyday now.

Saint Tibb's picture

But we're all right now, cause we got your cash.
But we're all right.  Stop loss flash crash, take your cash, cash, cash.

kengland's picture

Get them riches for we all are bitchez

Alcoholic Native American's picture

"The rich get richer in their sleep"


The rat race is fucked. How's that?

Ratscam's picture

its a scam not a race

if you get it you,ll ace

scratch_and_sniff's picture

Buy new pants as Blythe does a merry dance.

Nihilarian's picture

Buy right now, until we hit 36,000 on the Dow.

Votewithabullet's picture

These slogans are cheesy, can I put my dick in yer ass pleezy, I mean weezy. Crank the margin up to 100% so hymey can pay his rent.

MachoMan's picture

Don't be an inside trader because that path is well worn and the SEC might finally look at something other than tranny porn.

Race Car Driver's picture

"Eat, drink and consume using worth-less fiat - for tomorrow it may be dead."

scratch_and_sniff's picture

Be a gentleman and a scholar, dont kill the dollar. (someone stop me now, i could go at this shit all night)

Ratscam's picture

please dont. i,m in the mood

Cleanclog's picture

BARF - Buy Again Real Fast!

Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

Ask for more QE because is good for ye.



Verum's picture

Buy the SP00s and make bernanke spluge

MachoMan's picture

If your food is too expensive and your house prices decline,

Just go suck dick in the park, it's a victimless crime

Bicycle Repairman's picture

Winner!  And they take silver!!

market le pew's picture

Did you hear all the noise on CNBC today? Steve Liesman is for the Bernank what Goebbels used to be for Hitler: Propaganda Minister.

scratch_and_sniff's picture

Re-phrase that for fuck sake get with the programme-

Did you hear all the noise on CNBC?

Steve Liesman is for the Bernanke

what Goebbels used to be

for Hitler; Propaganda Minister in the propaganda ministry.

strannick's picture

Hitler also said 'Gold in the hands of the public is an enemy of the state'

Bicycle Repairman's picture

The public owning gold we should never see.

Let's give the goldbugs a taste of Zyklon B

Votewithabullet's picture

Oh fuk is he quoting Hitler? 

Live_Free's picture

Don't fret, monetize the debt.

Hyperinflation to save the nation!

MachoMan's picture

If oil is what we need, then let's bomb the middle east

firefighter302's picture

The value of our dollar sank, as the result of a federal bank.

We underwent a financial deluge, predicated by a bald headed banker stooge.

The result is our dollar value settles, unless, you've protected yourself with metals.

So stand firm and wait your reward for not selling and falling on your sword.

(So Lame...lol)


Harry Paratestes's picture

He who sells what isnt hizn, Buys it back or goes to prison

strannick's picture

When JP Morgue has the CFTC in it's pocket, it can tell Comex silver longs to sucket

Calculated_Risk's picture

I still like BTFD...


"Bernank Tard Fucking the Dollar!"

"Bury The Fucking Dollar"


augie's picture

paper is all fake

central banks deserve the blade

i buy physical


anti Oligarchy's picture

Buy like there is no tomorrow
For this market has no sorrow
Even if there is a blip
Just buy the f'in dip

arnoldsimage's picture

live today as if jesus is coming tonight.

Brindle702's picture

Jesus is coming! (Look busy.)

Holodomor2012's picture

So said the chosen, then the table went flip.

And they lost their god, money, and felt our gods whip.

Hedgetard55's picture

"Obama likes the old white dudes to suck his flavor,

But Lord knows he will NOT return the favor"


A Lunatic's picture

Since all of my financial chickens

have come home to roost

My only option is to double-tap myself

in the noggin.

Natasha's picture

You don't need a big schlong, to buy hard and go long.

augie's picture

thats what she said.