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Want To Drop Money Out Of Your Own Helicopter? There's An App For That
For the low, low price of $0.00 you too can now prove your mettle as the world's most profligate helicopter pilot, in the comfort of your own iPhone. It is only fitting that countless hours of entertainment will cost you nothing, as even at infinity dollars (when will the Apple store finally convert its apps into ounce of gold equivalents?), there is no price one can put to recreating the unique experience of single-handedly destroying 200 years of history in the creation of what was once the world's most resilient and enduring middle class, all overnight, just so Goldman Sachs can pretend they collect garbage all the way to the bank. From Bailout Ben: "Bailout Ben (aka Helicopter Benny), the intrepid pilot of Bail Force
One, is on a mission to engineer the biggest bailout in the history of
the universe! Benny's helicopter is flying lower and lower, and if he doesn't bail out every single company he will crash & burn!"
The names of the companies to be bailed out are shown on the bottom of
the screen, in stock ticker format. For example, C for Citigroup, GM
for General Motors.The debt of each company is denoted by the blue and green bars. The taller the bar, the greater the toxic debt.
Tap
the screen to drop a bundle of dollars and help bail out a company.
Only one wad of cash can be dropped at a time, so manage your bailouts
carefully.Land the helicopter and see Benny dance to the funky
beat*. Or be trampled by a herd of piggy banks, angry at the lack of
money flowing their way. Sometimes they get really mad and then it’s
“Oh my gosh they killed Benny!”
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I just downloaded this app. What a great way to enjoy the crisis! Thanks Tyler.
Need a new vehicle: Benny and the Jets
Yep, a nice B52 or AN-225 really is what's needed to drop more and more $$$.
This one has also been around for a while:
http://www.thebailoutgame.us/
Hey that's swell. So who's on "Dancing with the Stars" tonight?
A perfect example of the tail wagging the dog was a short conversation I had this weekend with someone who was worried about losing his job but still wasn't saving any extra money or even looking at his personal budget to cut waste.
All he wanted to talk about was the Sunday football games because he's close to winning $200 in his office football pool. Based upon what he said, he was devoting 20 hours a week to the pool and zero hours a week to personal financial planing.
He acted like I was from another planet for even asking him about his prep for the very real potential of job lose. "I'll deal with it if and when it comes" was all I got out of him before he launched into a list of who was going to win come Sunday.
Denial is an ugly thing to witness but he was happy in his denial so who's to say he's wrong. But if the shit hits the fan, this is whom I will be defending myself from, not the government or military.
I know the feeling. Most people I know don't even want to discuss it.
CD/Bumble - sticking one's head in the sand is a far more effective and prudent method of financial planning than anything you or any other pundit proclaims. Im tired of hearing about how we have to worry about the future. carpe diem, i say! My future has already been sold to China. Let me enjoy whatever I have left in the present.
on a related, unsarcastic note, wrt the home sales numbers today: http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/11/existing-home-sales-surge-on-cheap-condos/
totally bogus.
I have a few observations myself from a weekend trip to Vegas this month. My first night there I moseyed up to the bar and ordered a drink, the bartender told me "you know that you will have to pay for it?" I smiled and said "yes". After paying I slid him a five dollar tip and he gleefully said "Thank you" like that was something rarely seen. The following night he saw me there and knocked the other bartender out of the way to get to where I was standing so he could wait on me.
Latter that night I went back to the same bar only to find two different bartenders fighting over a tip jar that looked like it held only a few dollar bills in it. I stood there for a couple of minutes waiting for one of them to take my order before finally walking away to find another bar in the casino. At the other bar I ordered my drink and while waiting, the bartender I had tipped twice came behind the bar to see if I needed a drink.
Needless to say things are not all that well in Vegas.
You obviously already know this, but your acquaintance is an idiot. Spending 20 hours a week to win $200, that's only $10 an hour if he gets lucky and zilch per hour if not!
I bet football very seriously for 10 years, it was a second job for me logging 30+ hours a week. I was typically laying $20K a weekend spread over 50+/- bets (sides & totals) mostly college.
Now over the course of these 10 years I ended up on the plus side, but lets just say I did not get rich. Hell, if I didn't have my main job, I would've had to get another job to support my lifestyle.
It was just a hobby and I was able to put a little scratch in my pocket.
I was a good handicapper with a decent bankroll, this guy has no chance because in weekly pools it all comes down to luck.
Incredibably, it's so much worse than you outline. He isn't in a weekly pool, he's in a season pool. By his own admission he spends about 20 hours a week reading and studying the teams before picking who will win each week straight up. Everyone in the pool put in some money at the beginning of the season to pick the winners each week.
From what I could gather, he gets a point for each correct pick each week and he's far ahead (in points) of the second place person with 6 weeks to go. First place after 17 weeks pays $200 so he's investing 340 hours to win $200. Clearly he's either obsessed or desperate to ignore the world and focus on something he feels he has a chance of controlling. Or both.
Thanks for the heads up, Tyler, but where's the ZERO HEDGE app?! I've gotta think that a hybrid of playing your charactor as Bernanke while battling off crazed citizens trying to protect their dollar while he mercelessly butchers it, mixed with a handy Fed-speak translation guide, sprinkled with a few token FIGHT CLUB quotes would KILL!
Yes please give us a Zerohedge App, but not a game, an app to make reading ZH easier on the iPhone. ZH posts so many great articles and comments it would make the mobile ZH experience so much nicer!
+1 ZH app would be much appreciated.
'Tis the season...
Marla Singer: I've been going to Debtor's Anonymous. You want to see some really fucked-up people...
Tyler Durden: We are all part of the same compost heap.
Narrator: Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave.
Another example of art imitating life.
wait for XMas, Best Buy has one that shoots cool-aid up your nose.
It's important to remember that the bailout were to cover the losses made, which includes the "performance related payments" that were founded upon valuation methods that were wrong.
Nov. 23 (Bloomberg) -- Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and Bear Stearns Cos. executives made $2.4 billion from 2000 to 2008, a sign pay policies may have encouraged risk-taking that doomed the companies, a Harvard University study said.
The top five officials at Lehman, which filed for bankruptcy in September 2008, received $1 billion in cash bonuses and proceeds from equity sales during the period, according to the report, “The Wages of Failure,” released today by Harvard Law School’s Program on Corporate Governance. Bear Stearns’s top executives made $1.4 billion in the years before JPMorgan Chase & Co. agreed to buy the firm in 2008.
Losses the executives suffered when the firms failed were outweighed by payoffs in the preceding eight years, the study said, concluding that the “standard narrative” that the meltdown of Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns wiped out top executive’s wealth was incorrect and should be viewed skeptically in the debate over pay regulation.
“Excessive incentives to take risks might have been generated by executives’ ability to cash out compensation based on the firms’ short-term results,” said the report, written by Harvard professors Lucian Bebchuk, Alma Cohen and Holger Spamann. “To the extent that executives did cash out large amounts of such compensation, their decisions might have been distorted by an excessive focus on short-term results.”
Shareholders who held their shares throughout the period analyzed in the report lost most of their initial investment, the study said.
“The divergence between how the top executives and their shareholders fared implies that it is not possible to rule out, as standard narrative suggests, that the executives’ pay arrangements provided them with excessive risk-taking incentives,” the report said.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aLS5o0JQrykE&pos=3
Turn off that damn video game. I'm cutting my gold with tungsten. Then I gotta cut my dollars with counterfeit dollars. Then I have to cut my heorine from 10 bricks to 40 bricks. Will you all stop playing and be productive like me!!!!
Yeah man, faaaaar out!
Sir I salute you! If only all central bankers would get down into the nitty gritty like you have. I'm sure Zimbabwe Ben has never even personally manned a printing press and had the joy of creating fresh Bernake Fun Bux. Nor has he had the simple pleasure of gold plating tungsten, working with out hands like our forefathers. It's that personal touch that counts, it shows commitment to a cause. /sarcasm off
I can't blame most people for keeping their head in the sand, they don't want to accept that they have been deceived all their lives. It just seems unreal to most as if they can't believe it's happening so they choose not to let it into their personal reality. On the plus side every person who does not prepare gives us a better window to prepare ie getting into gold/silver. As it stands now I praying for Gold/Silver to go down, or at least stop rising so damn fast. I just got another good job and pray for more time to turn in my Bernake Fun Buxs in for Gold/Silver!
Why thank you. Now watch me feed the multitide with 5 fishes by making them believe the 1 gram piece of fish they got was a banquet.
Jesus ponzi bitches!!!!
"Oh my gosh they killed Benny!"
Is that okay? To kill Benny? In a video game I mean? (See rule #5). Or is he kind of like Kenny, where he is resurrected each episode, so it is okay to kill him so long as it's funny.
I like the final screen-- looks like Gold gets the job done.