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Watch Obama Discuss America's Energy Security Live

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The president is due to address America's energy "security" any minute now. We wonder if he will address the fact that OPEC is set for a bumper export year, generating profits of over $1 trillion for the first time ever. Of course, that is money that will have to be recycled back into US bonds so it is bullish.

 

The prepared teleprompter remarks are below:

FACT SHEET: America's Energy Security

Rising prices at the pump affect everybody – workers and farmers; truck
drivers and restaurant owners.  Businesses see it impact their bottom
line.  Families feel the pinch when they fill up their tank.  For
Americans already struggling to get by, it makes life that much harder. 
That’s why we need to make ourselves more secure and control our energy
future by harnessing all of the resources that we have available and
embracing a diverse energy portfolio. With an ultimate goal of reducing
our dependence on oil, in the near term we must responsibly develop and
produce oil and gas at home, while at the same time leveraging cleaner,
alternative fuels and increasing efficiency.  And beyond our efforts to
reduce our dependence on oil, we must focus on expanding cleaner sources
of electricity – keeping America on the cutting edge of clean energy technology so that we can build a 21st century clean energy economy and win the future.

Reducing oil imports

In 2008, America imported 11 million barrels of oil a day. 
By 2025 – a little over a decade from now – we will have cut that by
one-third.

  • Expanding Safe and Responsible Domestic Oil and Gas Development and Production:
    • Implementing critical safety reforms:  In response to the Deepwater Horizon oil
      spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the Obama Administration has launched
      rigorous and comprehensive environmental and safety reforms to ensure
      the responsible development of offshore oil and gas resource
    • Identifying underdeveloped resources:  The
      President asked the Department of the Interior (DOI) to issue a report
      on the status of unused oil and gas leases.  That report showed that 57
      percent of all leased onshore acres and 70 percent of offshore leased
      acres are inactive – meaning that they are neither being explored or
      developed.
    • Developing incentives for expedited development and production: DOI
      is developing incentives for expedited development of oil and gas
      production from existing and future leases.  For its offshore leasing
      program, the DOI has already begun to employ incentives, including the
      shortening of some lease terms to encourage earlier development, and
      requiring drilling to begin before an extension can be granted on a
      lease.  DOI is also evaluating the potential use of graduated royalty
      rate structures, such as those adopted by the State of Texas, to
      encourage more rapid production.
  • Securing Access to Diverse and Reliable Sources of Energy:  The
    U.S. is acting in the international arena to moderate global oil demand
    and secure additional supplies of liquid fuels and clean energy.  We
    are working with our international partners to increase natural gas
    supplies, replace oil with natural gas in power generation, and increase
    responsible oil production in a manner that ensures safety .  We are
    also increasing sustainable bioenergy production, building a new
    international framework for nuclear energy, and promoting energy
    efficiency.  
  • Developing Alternatives to Oil, Including Biofuels and Natural Gas:  Some
    of our most effective opportunities to enhance our energy security can
    be found in our own backyard.  We are committed to finding better and
    smarter ways to use these abundant energy resources. That means:
    • Expanding biofuels markets and commercializing new biofuels technologies:  Corn
      ethanol is already making a significant contribution to reducing our
      oil dependence, but increasing market share will require overcoming
      infrastructure challenges and commercializing promising cellulosic and
      advanced biofuels technologies.  To help achieve this goal, the
      Administration has set a goal of breaking ground on at least four
      commercial-scale cellulosic or advanced bio-refineries over the next two
      years. And as we do all of these things, we will look for ways to
      reform our biofuels incentives to make sure they meet today’s biofuels
      challenges and save taxpayers money.  
    • Encouraging responsible development practices for natural gas: 
      The Administration is committed to the use of this important domestic
      resource, but we must ensure it is developed safely and responsibly. To
      that end the Administration is focused on increasing transparency about
      the use of fracking chemicals, working with state regulators to offer
      technical assistance, and launching a new initiative to tap experts in
      industry, the environmental community and states to develop
      recommendations for shale extraction practices that will ensure the
      protection of public health and the environment. 
  • Cutting Costs at the Pump with More Efficient Cars and Trucks:   The
    Administration is building on recent investments in advanced vehicles,
    fuel, technologies, high speed rail, and public transit:
    • Setting historic new fuel economy standards: Standards
      for model years 2012-16 will raise average fuel economy to 35.5 miles
      per gallon by 2016, and save 1.8 billion barrels of oil over the
      lifetime of the vehicles covered. In July, the Administration will also
      finalize the first-ever national fuel economy and greenhouse gas
      emission standards for commercial trucks, vans and buses built in 2014 -
      2018.  These standards will cut oil use and promote the development and
      deployment of alternative fuels, including natural gas.  The
      Administration is also developing the next generation of fuel economy
      and greenhouse gas emission standards for passenger vehicles 2017-2025
      and expects to announce the proposal in September 2011.
    • Paving the way for advanced vehicles:  The
      President has set an ambitious goal of putting 1 million electric
      vehicles on the road by 2015.  To help us get there, the President’s FY
      2012 Budget proposes a redesigned $7500 tax credit for consumers,
      competitive grants for communities that encourage the adoption of
      electric vehicles, and funding for R&D to drive innovation in
      advanced battery technology.  At the same time, the President is calling
      on Congress to move forward with policies that can help unlock the
      promise of natural gas vehicles.
  • Leading by Example With the Federal Fleet.  The
    Federal government operates more than 600,000 fleet vehicles.   We have
    already doubled the number of hybrid vehicles in the federal fleet. 
    Today, the President is calling for administrative action directing
    agencies to ensure that by 2015, all new vehicles they purchase will be
    alternative-fuel vehicles, including hybrid and electric vehicles. 

Innovating Our Way to a Clean Energy Future 

Charting a path  towards cleaner sources of electricity and
greater energy efficiency, and remaining on the cutting edge of clean
energy technology.

  • Creating Markets for Clean Energy:  To move capital
    off of the sidelines and into the clean energy economy – creating jobs
    in the process – we need to give businesses and entrepreneurs a clear
    signal that there will be a market for clean energy innovation.  That’s
    why the Administration is committed to pursuing a Clean Energy Standard
    (CES), an ambitious but achievable goal of generating 80 percent of the
    Nation’s electricity from clean energy sources by 2035 – including
    renewable energy sources like wind, solar, biomass, and hydropower;
    nuclear power; efficient natural gas; and clean coal.
  • Cutting Energy Bills through More Efficient Homes and Buildings: Our
    homes, businesses and factories consume over 70 percent of the energy
    we use.  By making smart investments in energy efficiency in the
    residential, commercial, and industrial sectors, we can improve U.S.
    competitiveness and protect our environment, while saving consumers
    money on electricity bills.  That is why the Administration is on track
    to weatherize 600,000 low-income homes through Recovery Act investments,
    and why we remain committed to a series of policies that increase
    efficiency across sectors – including a HOMESTAR program to help
    homeowners finance retrofits, a “Better Buildings Initiative” to make
    commercial facilities 20 percent more efficient by 2020, and steps to
    promote industrial energy efficiency.
  • Staying on the Cutting Edge through Clean Energy Research and Development:  Through
    the Advanced Research Project Agency-Energy (ARPA-E) program, we have
    invested in over 100 cutting-edge projects in areas ranging from smart
    grid technology, to carbon capture, to battery technology for electric
    vehicles. Past Budgets funded three “Energy Innovation Hubs” that
    explore building efficiency, fuel from sunlight, and nuclear reactor
    modeling and simulation.  The FY 2012 Budget request more than doubles
    funding for ARPA-E and doubles the number of Hubs to include new Hubs
    that will advance smart grid technology, critical materials research, as
    well as batteries and energy storage.
 

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Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:17 | 1117006 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

"that is money that will have to be recycled back into US bonds so it is bullish."

unless that money is used by the governments to bribe their people from rioting.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:33 | 1117029 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

does a ZH login work with the White House chat feature / facebook page? Does the NSA participate in the discussions or do they just monitor them?

http://apps.facebook.com/whitehouselive/

 

not to worry I just checked better privacy and whitehouse.gov via this zerohedge page (I didn't click anything ) just dropped an LSO on my computer (that's a super  or flash cookie for those who don't monitor these things and they are/can be  deposited by Adobe Flash Player which is the player via the White House that Tyler embedded for our viewing pleasure)

http://oi52.tinypic.com/2emfog6.jpg

 

more on LSOs

http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2009/08/you-deleted-your-cookies-think-ag...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:36 | 1117127 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

speaking of that, when is ZH going to do a story about this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HBGary

Pretty amazing story.  Especially this part:

It was also revealed that HBGary Federal was contracted by the U.S. government to develop astroturfing software which could create an "army" of multiple fake social media profiles to manipulate and sway public opinion on controversial issues. This software could also scan for people with points of view the powers-that-be didn't like and then have the "fake" profiles attempt to discredit those "real" people.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:09 | 1117330 Hard1
Hard1's picture

 

This is brilliant, after watching these 9 slides post your chances of Obama's capability for reducing dependance on foreign oil

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/american-foreign-oil-dependence-2011-3#-1

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:16 | 1117391 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I AM A ROBOT. WHO LIKES TO FUCK. BIEP. BIEP.

What a load of crap. I don't buy that.

but sometimes I am amazed by the speed some people can read a article over here and post a comment 1 minutes after the post appears...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:28 | 1117455 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Who do you think brings all the ad revenues to ZH?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:31 | 1117825 chinaguy
chinaguy's picture

@GFI

ZH covered the HBGary story a couple of weeks ago, when Anonymous was thumping it's chest saying it was going to "bring down" BAC.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:44 | 1118789 Djirk
Djirk's picture

I heard ZH was one of the first pilots of this to help drive up the price of silver

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:11 | 1117372 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

what it means is that every single person who opened this ZH article, which contains the embedded video player courtesty of the WH now has a WH flash cookie on their computer that they cannot delete unless they go to the Adobe site or use firefox with better privacy

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 21:32 | 1119824 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

In Linux do the following:

ln --symbolic /home/myAccount/.macromedia /dev/null

 

No more invisible Adobe ™ flash cookies to worry about!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:47 | 1117554 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

$10 bet that today Obama will bring up natural gas to fuel our cars. All gas stations to be be converted to natural gas.

GM to make the cars run on natural gas.  This has been in the works for a while. But it's the 3rd piece of Obama's agenda.

1. Fianance Reform Fraud.  Check

2. Healthcare reform fraud. Check

3. Energy/Global warming fraud. (Today)

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:24 | 1117040 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

"that is money that will have to be recycled back into US bonds so it is bullish"

that is money that will have to be recycled back into US armaments so it is bullish

There, fixed it for you, TD. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:16 | 1117007 redpill
redpill's picture

Obama discuss?  You mean he'll be facilitating a text-to-speech translation for his teleprompter.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:20 | 1117033 Innocent Bystander
Innocent Bystander's picture

if only we could see the face behind the hand, that moves his mouth..

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:58 | 1117270 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Please note my avatar to see the Man behind the Sok.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:19 | 1117013 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

BTFD. If that doesn't work, BTFR.

 

Thank you.

 

Now fuck off.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:15 | 1117384 beehive
Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:19 | 1117014 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

domestic oil going to be ramped up? thats bullish coming gold ratio.....

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:22 | 1117039 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Brazil is not a State in the United States of America. I can understand his confusion on this matter after hearing him comment about the 57 States..........

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:28 | 1117453 Zina
Zina's picture

Fortunately, we're not!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:03 | 1117647 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Deep thoughts by Patrick the Painter

I think the concept of a unified New World Order will make geography classes for children all around the world much easier!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:35 | 1117109 DosZap
DosZap's picture

I'll kiss a monkeys arse when i see these Green Monkeys allow sensible policies at home.

If we were to vigorously start REALLY drilling, tapping, and converting to Nat Gas/Gasoline vehicles( get Ethanol back into Corn,on the table and feed lots), it would lower the food prices a lot, and  OPEC prices a lot.

They do not want us energy independent,if we were their ass would be grass.

Bombs away.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:21 | 1117025 99er
99er's picture

Nikkei Futures

Radiation? What radiation?

http://www.zerohedge.com/forum/99er-charts-0

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:19 | 1117026 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

No. He has nothing to say I want to hear.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:38 | 1117135 DosZap
DosZap's picture

+100,000

Damn puppet,semi pro Golfer, and 24/7/260 day a year vacationer.He should go on the Tour, he would do far better there than playing POTUS.

Although he DOES play one on T.V.

They should name a new T V series after him.

"As the World Burns".

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:11 | 1117368 Overpowered By Funk
Overpowered By Funk's picture

He has mastered the 'pregnant pause', however.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:06 | 1117335 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

He has nothing to say I want to hear.

Exactly!  I didn't watch his speech on TV the other night and I didn't bother to listen to this either.  (I actually turned off the sound on this page, really only came to read the comments.)   I can't believe anything he says anymore and watching/listening to him only reinforces that opinion.  And, this really makes me sad that I can't believe my President any more than I believe TEPCO, or BP, or GE.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:20 | 1117031 tiger7905
tiger7905's picture

Will be interesting what Obama says.

Latest comments from Rick Rule on uranium and energy. Says nuclear power can't go away but could be some good buying opportunities in uranium over the next year. Also see's oil going much higher.

http://goldandsilverlinings.com/?p=393

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:15 | 1117719 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Will be, is interesting that some of you think that these are Obama's words.

That's funny.  What's even more funny, is that policy has already been decided before Obama came to WH.

It's not like Obama sat around with some speech writers drafting ideas from Obama's noggin.

Policy is decided years in advance and it is bipartisan.  After they calculate who the public will vote for as President, they make sure he whens.

The Presidents job is to sell, resell this agenda already drafted up by the globalists.

The better the liar, the better the salesmen, or in this case, the lawyer. 

By that measure Obama has to be one the greatest Presidents America has ever had.

In addition to his Nobel Peace Prize, he should be awarded a Golden Globe, acting award.

Yes and we can call it, "As the World Burns."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:23 | 1117037 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Free puppys and Ice cream for all

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:24 | 1117058 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

His Puppies go up and bite and his ice cream has Japanese radiation.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:24 | 1117041 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I wonder if he will announce the fact that two thirds of the oil leases in the Gulf of Mexico...are idle?  Ya think he'll say that?  Or do you think he will speak like the biggest oil discovery freak on the planet?  

Hmmmmm?  Truth?  Lie?  That's a tough call...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:27 | 1117042 Mercury
Mercury's picture

He's going to issue an executive order to override the laws of thermodynamics. 

What a stud.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:38 | 1117514 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

...He's also gonna require that we all fart in government issued cups and bring them to local methane recycling centers, funded by new BABonds...Should be able to knock off 2% of America's energy requirements

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:25 | 1117762 LostWages
LostWages's picture

Quickly, where can I find one of those cups?

 

Nevermind.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:25 | 1117047 davepowers
davepowers's picture

they would have to tie me to a chair and tape my eyes open like the sob in Clockwork Orange to make me watch another Obama presser

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:25 | 1117048 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

By limiting speculation in oil to those who would have to take physical delivery, oil would fall to $25 a barrel.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:17 | 1117733 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

It would be even easier to just raise the margin call's to 100% and to lock them there.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:25 | 1117049 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Are you being distracted? 

 

PSEG Power's William Levis speaking now on C-SPAN3 on Japan nuclear crisis: 

 


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:25 | 1117053 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

LOL waste of air. another speech. he s for "creating jobs" and reducing the deficit.

when you are a black liberal president you dont have to accomplish anything - just give a speeech and MSM will clap like seals

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:24 | 1117056 anony
anony's picture

Really this is getting ridiculous.  Two weeks ago I was ready to send in another 50 spot for my donation, and then I began to think about all the irrelevance or incessant repetition in too many of Tylers posts.

This POTUS holds no interest at all for me.  His utterances for national consumption either total fabrication, toothless, and impotent.

Until you have some real knowledge to pass on, gleaned from flies on the wall of the Oral Office, or genuine information, the truth, why bother?

All you are doing is acting as another agent of the propaganda machine.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:32 | 1117098 Mercury
Mercury's picture

You won't think Obama is so toothless when your real net worth is cut and half, everything that matters is more expensive and you can't take a crap without a permit.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:05 | 1117293 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

with the exception of the "taking a crap without a permit"...I'm already there.  I have to imagine that most americans are already there too....

My plan is to crap in gatoraide bottles, and wrap them in concealing newspaper and toss them in McD's dumpsters.  I should therefore avoid crapping licensing, fees, and permit registrations, while at the same time inflicting regulatory noncompliance with a major corporation.  It will take an awful lot of expensive genetic testing to figure out that it is me, and yet I can still claim that I had to crap in that gatoraide bottle at the McDons because at the moment their restrooms were full and/or inoperable and/or being cleaned by somebody of the opposite sex who can't or won't speak English. 

According to Obama's speech (above) it is clear that my plan is in line with, and supportive of his goals and therefore should be implimented by all patriotic americans.  Isn't life in AmeriCon great? 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:08 | 1117346 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I'm sorry but you're out of compliance and will be assessed accordingly.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:27 | 1117773 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Look at Europe.

Just passed a law banning all gas burning cars in Europe by 2050. 

That's pretty fucking bold. I guess its easy to pass laws that have deadlines 40 years out.

Maybe the US should pass a law that by 2080, everyone will have to spend time up in space station as service to the country?

Or lets pass a law that moves the decimal point on the federal debt, 4 spaces to the left. That way when dont have to increase the debt ceiling. Then in 2050, when can move the decimal point back to it's original spot.

What do you say Geithner?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:33 | 1117815 anony
anony's picture

Keep your eye on the ball, which is the Senior Committee members of Congress.  Men and women who only a tenth of the time or less get on TV to lie.

The place to keep watch is where ALL  the power is: In the Senate, then the House, then the Supremes.

All of which are intentionally more difficult to see in operation, along with the impossible until it's too late, what the Lobbyists from K street are doing behind the scenes.  The POTUS has some power to wage wars, but anything else he is impotent to do anything about.

Who are the Senior Committee members??  Do you know??  It's 5 minutes to midnight, do you know where your Senior Committee members are??

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:25 | 1117063 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

No thanks, Id rather have someone shoot blowgun darts into my eyeballs than watch this clown.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:33 | 1118162 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

+1... blowgun darts are much less painful than watching or listening to Politburo Chief Obama wax on about his 5-year plans

 

As I always say... Better dead than red !

 

 

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:27 | 1117065 Magic Mamaliga
Magic Mamaliga's picture

he's promising to do what RICHARD NIXON, GERALD FORD, JIMMY CARTER, RONALD REAGAN, GEORGE BUSH SR., BILL CLINTON, and GEORGE W. BUSH couldn't do... this is so exciting, i love hope and change!!!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:19 | 1117403 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

I'm guessing his FBI/CIA code name is "Neocon Trojan Horse"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:31 | 1117807 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

This nigga here bought you some change.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STlJW0uv4DY

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:26 | 1117066 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

He's passing the 'Radiation Doses Are Still Safe if 1000x Current Limits, Bitchez' act.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:18 | 1117075 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Must we have to see that mocking, smug expression until this post is bumped down by newer material ? 

At least change B-O's mug to the NCAA logo or some such relevant image.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:29 | 1117077 terryg999
terryg999's picture

.....Obama......Energy Security .....

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:29 | 1117079 davepowers
davepowers's picture

meanwhile, from the TEPCO presser on the other side of the world

"We're sorry that the accident happened, will form a committee to analyze what went wrong."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:28 | 1117080 digitlman
digitlman's picture

"by 2015, all new vehicles they purchase will be alternative-fuel vehicles, including hybrid and electric vehicles."

This is cute. Yes, they consume less fuel, but the premium price tag on hybrids and elec vehicles surely outweighs the money saved from using less fuel? Or can the gov't give the gov't a rebate check?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:31 | 1117091 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And the electricity to charge them is apparently free? Derived from filling the power chamber with unicorn shit power Skittles? Or what? Nah, the REAL reason oil consumption will be way down soon is that population will be way down soon.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:34 | 1117102 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

This will be the only vehicle you'll be able to afford in 2015.

http://www.vintageprojects.com/mini-bike/mite-motor-cycle.html

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:36 | 1117118 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Simple translation:

"Sending more business my [ GM ] way."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:29 | 1117082 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Nice intro...the lady said 'Be quiet, the programming will commence shortly'....bwaaaa ha ha haaaaaa!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:36 | 1117115 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Waiting for the start of the Rush Limbaugh show.......

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:32 | 1117087 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

How to explain the Obama's Big Cheerful Laugh on the picture ...

There was a line of text on the teleprompter saying

..

<smiley_face>

..

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:30 | 1117088 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Hooray.  The Nigger in Chief is going to address the common niggers.

Did you bring any popcorn, Tyler?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:29 | 1117190 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

This is unbelievable.  Simply fucking unbelievable.  I listened to two sentences, perhaps 20 fucking seconds of blathering, and my bullshit detector went critical and exploded.

I need to find a new word for nigger.  Oh wait, I have one: American!

YOU'RE ALL FUCKING AMERICANS!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:57 | 1117985 velobabe
velobabe's picture

american cracker.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:33 | 1117823 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Obama's 2012 re election Solgan.

"I brought you change, Nigga"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STlJW0uv4DY

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:32 | 1117089 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

If your interested in the US Nuclear industry status and not listening to David Lockbaums testimony to Congress then you might adjust your priorities right now... 

 

http://www.c-span.org/Live-Video/C-SPAN3/

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:30 | 1117090 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

No thanks, I have something better to do. Like watch Rosie O'Donnell porno.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:32 | 1117099 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Energy security is an oxymoron in this time in this age. 

President is an oxymoron in this time and this age.

The two together make this Jawboning^2

Everything is reeking of in-security, at every fractal level of our existence.

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/03/30/sex-unnatural-oxymoron-and-comment-streams-of-consciousness/

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:33 | 1117837 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

How about the Security in our insecure exsistence.

Like Tyler says, "On a long enough timeline......

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:40 | 1117100 davepowers
davepowers's picture

sorry this is off topic (unless the brutal level of idiocy from the public frontmen is part of this thread), but here's another gem from the TEPCO presser (translation courtesy of EX SKF)

Q - Effect on EUrope/US, developing countries, message to these countries


A - We apologize for the ill-effect on their nuclear effort.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:35 | 1117104 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oil imports will be down 1/3rd, because population will have been culled by 1/3rd, minimum.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:02 | 1117286 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

In 2008, America imported 11 million barrels of oil a day.  By 2025 – a little over a decade from now – we will have cut that by one-third.

At what point does HOPE become PRAYER?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:34 | 1117114 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

What's with the Fascist musical intro.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:36 | 1117116 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

What Id give to see the pink mist suddenly as hes standing there.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:36 | 1117119 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

Every time he says "thank you" just replace the "thank" with "fuck" and you'll get the jist of the message.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:37 | 1117122 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

"Winning the Future"

"Winning"?

Is Charlie Sheen involved?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:43 | 1117153 davepowers
davepowers's picture

no kidding, this is madness

then again, remember "WIN" buttons

I've still got mine. I think I'll start wearing it

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:02 | 1117300 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Re-branding:

'WE IZ NOOKLEAR'

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:21 | 1118117 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 Many times I've spoken to younger fellow citizens about WIN buttons, but they look at me like I was just dropped off by a flying saucer. The WIN button is one of my favorite events in modern American History; and a very useful reminder that it's been like this for a long, long, time.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:24 | 1118122 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 It's kind of like a lava lamp; if you kept it in the garage long enough, it came back into style. Why not? It didn't hurt anything the first time.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:35 | 1117124 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

another campaign rally - lets all cheer while the country burns to the ground

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:59 | 1117626 docj
docj's picture

Does The Teleprompter play the fiddle?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:40 | 1117140 billwilson
billwilson's picture

Energy security = pickuptruck and an SUV. (that is energy security for Saudi!).

Damn it the American way is non-negotiable .... no matter what!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:41 | 1117147 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

One shot of booze for every 'uh' he says.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:43 | 1117152 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Well, we do have a lot of FAT to burn.  Does this count as energy "independence".

Just saying.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:42 | 1117156 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Did he mention "peak oil (TM)" or "climate change (TM)"?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:42 | 1117442 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

If by "Peak Oil" you mean the fact that there is a set limit of resources upon the earth, and that we have taken the low hanging fruit, and that the EROEI is become worse and worse due to the just mentioned "low hanging fruit theory", then no, there will be no way he utters those words.  Presidents are not briefed on such important matters.  Ask Billy C.  The CIA never told him about the reports they had made.  He blamed them.  I blame him for not asking important questions.

If by "Climate Change" you mean the pseudo science that has no merit, of course he did.

Disclaimer:  I am not going to watch this pompous ass talk anymore.  Barrack Obama may go down as the most idiotic President in history, and considering that Bush was a moron, Clinton did not care about anything other than chasing skirt, and Bush the Elder was more of a psychopath than anyone can know, that is really saying something.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:44 | 1117160 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

'...last time gas went over $4 a gallon...I remember it because I was on a presidential campaign.'

Good thing he did that campaign or else he wouldn't remember it. This dude makes Dubya look like fucking Albert Einstein.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:43 | 1117165 Djirk
Djirk's picture

OK I haven't listened to this joker in a long time, but he seems to have picked up a southern drawl y'all

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:46 | 1117173 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Man, I had to mute this bullshit.

He's said oil is higher because of strong economic growth in the U.S.

He's not stupid. He's a pathological liar.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:28 | 1118135 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 No, no; it's not a multiple choice question. He is stupid. he is ignorant, and he is a pathological liar. It's one of those "both and" things.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:47 | 1117199 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Cut it by 1/3rd in a decade? LOL. That's hilarious.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:41 | 1117887 SRV - ES339
SRV - ES339's picture

... don't you have some work to do Blythe?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:28 | 1118147 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 You think that's funny; people are going to vote for him, because he told them what they wanted to hear. They already know that; they run the teleprompter crap past consulting psychiatrists. It has nothing to do with reality; it's all about "touchy-feely".

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:48 | 1117206 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

'Winning the future' is the most asinine corporatespeak bullshit. These are the fucks that are running the place. It gives me the same feeling as when someone asks me if I can 'Action' something. The feeling of wanting to kick them in the balls.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:56 | 1117250 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

ZH needs a 'Like' button...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 21:46 | 1119876 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Please remember:  Verbing nouns weirds language.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:50 | 1117210 trav7777
trav7777's picture

this guy is a complete fucking idiot.

1/3?  How?  Only by demand destruction.

LOL...we're going to run on "American Ingenuity."  We will be grinding americans up to burn in new plants I gather?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:52 | 1117235 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Only by demand destruction?  You need to think outside the box.  There's always population reduction.  Never take any of your firing options off the table.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:10 | 1117688 Blano
Blano's picture

Population destruction sure sounds like demand destruction to me.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:02 | 1117637 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Absolutely! Green Power!  Soylent Green Power, but it's Green!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:04 | 1117653 docj
docj's picture

The Teleprompter doesn't have to worry about "how".  The Teleprompter has spoken - now the seas will part, cats and dogs will start to live in harmony... and we'll be importing 1/3 less oil.

All Hail The Teleprompter!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:51 | 1117213 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

Reduce oil imports by 1/3... *cue coke zero jingle*

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:51 | 1117218 Alcoholic Nativ...
Alcoholic Native American's picture

Is this one about U.S. energy security or Libya?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:52 | 1117230 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

what work is he talking about? Invading other countries for their oil?  He must be referring to making better weapons and drones to kill the brown people so we can have their oil...is that the American ingenuity??

So WHAT'S THE FREAKING PLAN MR. PRESIDENT????

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:04 | 1117316 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Invading other countries for their oil? 

Yes we can!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:53 | 1117242 waldocktrades
waldocktrades's picture

The real question we should be asking ourselves is why we are paying to protect old Europe's crude deliveries. We only get about 15% of out total crude imports from the entire Golden Crescent.

http://blog.commodityandderivativeadv.com/2011/03/03/over-priced-crude--...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:28 | 1117792 trav7777
trav7777's picture

the French are the ones bombing Libya and have their carrier offshore.  So they are "at last" stepping up to protect their own oil.

we receive substantial imports from KSA, consequently we are there.  As their production declines, we are also in Iraq and Kuwait.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:58 | 1117253 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The economy (Agriculture and a myriad of commodity chemicals and SUVs) is still very much much rooted in oil.  What is the REAL plan phucknut?  These commodity chemicals give us a high quality of life.  We need a thermodynamically viable plan (and there are options) so where is it?!?!?!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:57 | 1117259 trav7777
trav7777's picture

We still going to drill offshore...peak's here.  Despite GOM, they have no choice.

Expect the nuclear speech in about a year.

I just love the way this clown raises his volume as he thinks he's making a more emphatic point.

this is a lot of pie in sky bullshit...magical thinking from the magic negro

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:15 | 1117382 Worker Bee
Worker Bee's picture

I think something along these lines would be much more convincing

"Fellow Americans,we are fucked. We have reached a world wide production peak and unless we all get our shit together your kids will be living in a world similar to "The Road". Thank you and have a great fucking day."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1117274 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Don't foget kids, Chicago is about 70-80% nuclear too.

Kind of limits the politically desireable envelope here.

 

 

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1117275 Fanatic
Fanatic's picture

About Chu:

"HE actually deserved HIS Nobel Price". LOL.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:58 | 1117278 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

LOL - in a twiast on yesterdays comment -

 

"Just pull him. Just pull him."

 

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1117279 Mercury
Mercury's picture

What the fuck is "winning the future" supposed to mean anyway?

If he's "winning" now which I'm sure he thinks he is - will that make him bi-winning?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:04 | 1117320 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Adonis DNA.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:01 | 1117285 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Time for Rush.......

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1117292 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Oil is strong and gas is expensive because of the currency devaluation.

Sir.

Correction: YOUR devaluation.

(Remember OPEC's $22-27 price band?  Oh, the lulz of yesteryear)

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:07 | 1117327 Worker Bee
Worker Bee's picture

Why do I feel like Im a five year old and hes trying to teach me about energy?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:05 | 1117333 Highrev
Highrev's picture

RAN Squawk 03-30 11:40: Obama says 'no quick fix' for long-term oil price increases

Obama on the QE3 suicide team?

(Since he blows so much smoke, I think we'll have to wait for more data.)

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:08 | 1117341 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Drill bitch, fucking drill.   Till that happens Obama is talking out his ass.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:41 | 1118187 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 This seems like a good place to re-state my vision of modern American politics; we will be given a chance to vote for one of two clueless, moronic idiots; this is a given so don't be distracted by it. The essence of the thing is that one of the moronic idiots wants to drill lots and lots of oil wells, and the other one wants our industry and our homes to run on Unicorn Flux; so just grin and bear it, and vote for the one that wants to drill holes; even if its you know who; because that's the best you can do.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:08 | 1117347 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

just banning investment banks from trading in OIL will likely drop OIL price by at least $40. Stoping Bernanke from going nuclear with QE3 will likelt drop OIL by another $40.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:14 | 1117386 digitlman
digitlman's picture

If I hear the word "innovate" one more time, I'm gonna smash my keyboard.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:24 | 1117443 digalert
digalert's picture

Barama Obama energy plan: 2012 or bust

That's it folks, three years in and Barama is still on campaign.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:26 | 1117445 Bob
Bob's picture

What an ass clown Barry is. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:27 | 1117449 ummuhhh...
ummuhhh...'s picture

I had to mute this to keep from screaming.

Bush would stammer and stutter his way through a speech, but at least you could watch the gears turning (albeit slowly). This xxxxxxx xxxxxx (expletives deleted) smoothly looks from teleprompter to teleprompter as if reading a story to grade schoolers.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:14 | 1117711 web bot
web bot's picture

He's a master at.... acting.

If you watch his eyes, you'll see him "double blink" when he wants to exaggerate a point... and he's doing this when he's reading from a teleprompter. He's close to delusional.

This guy is scary... very scary. An academic that has never had a real job in his life is running 1/3 of the global economy.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:32 | 1117816 trav7777
trav7777's picture

the dude was either high or just woke up for this speech.

Secondly, you can see him really really struggle to fashion any kind of cogent point when he goes off-script.  He seems as muddle-headed as Busch ever was.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:41 | 1118492 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

FYI: Anyone who has been employed by the Secret Service can tell you that the President cannot be tested for drugs

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:46 | 1118220 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 He is reading a story to grade schoolers; he's reading a soothing bed-time story to his voters; who are definetely grade school intellects; and they appreciate it and they're going to vote for him ! I reccommend Canada, or New Zealand.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:27 | 1117451 Goatboy
Goatboy's picture

"God bless Unated States of America."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:32 | 1117486 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Let's be real here. By 2025 we will be using 30% less oil not becuase we decided to conserve or actually be proactive on energy, but because that's all they'll be able to get out of the fucking ground.

And we'll experience obscene price hikes and profiteering every step of the way.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:54 | 1117587 Peak Everything
Peak Everything's picture

Yep, and about 30% less GDP because the economy is roughly proportional to energy consumed. And the reduced wealth will mean less drilling which will mean permanent downward spiral.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:57 | 1118835 pasttense
pasttense's picture

Don't worry: the banksters, the health care industry, the defense industry, and the government bureaucracy will still be doing well!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:34 | 1117495 pauldia
pauldia's picture

His speech just ended with the perfunctory "God Bless the United States of America".He says this  in a manner of a talk show host who answers the callers "How You doin?" for the 2000 th time. I've come to the conclusion that not only is there "no there" there, but the more amorphous and empty the more the tools, toadies,  and fellow travelers Svengali their commentary to the "Clockwork Orange "  interprative dissonance.   Someone remove the ether mask and pump oxygen in the room before a Rip Van Winkle awakening to an amnesia cognizance of the former America. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:35 | 1117860 trav7777
trav7777's picture

our entire national zeitgeist is toxic self-delusion.  Look, we spent 40 years on "diversity" to culminate in this Presidency; and now people are like WTF?  We've solved nothing.

we will lower standards to have the "right" military (in branches who are in "crisis" due to lack of diversity like the USCG or AF), for fire departments, sue Marin County for being "too white," and people are starting to emerge from the haze of that.  We're discovering that we have a competence problem now...go figure.

It's all a bunch of empty words and phony promises and silly shit that was affordable in a world of luxury.  Think of it this way:  if you're rich, you can afford to indulge a spoiled brat child and you may take the path of least resistance and do that.  So we put ramps and parking spaces that are never used as our sacrificial "tribute" to the feelings we think the handicapped have.  There are so many well-wishy parasitic drags on our society that they really cannot be numerable anymore.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:39 | 1117528 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Solution: Libyans want a new Muslim leader. Why not give them ours? Solves two problems.

 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:49 | 1118232 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 Perfect. Now that's a change I'll vote for.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:44 | 1117548 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Nuclear yes... (of course)

 

NEW Cooling standard could hit power plants 

Billions in sales... passed off to meters everywhere. 

 

 

How to play?  SPW... ???? (SPX Corp - owns Marley etc...)

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:50 | 1117578 Debtless
Debtless's picture

What a week.


Direxion Energy Bull 3x Shares

CONSOLIDATED ISSUE LISTED BY NYSE ARCA: ERX

 

No sense turning down free money.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:02 | 1117634 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

No more foreign oil! Except from Canada, and other friendly countries.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:05 | 1117660 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Relax. Buy gold, silver, oil...and now Hillary said to add HAL, KBR, FLR and Raytheon.

We' ll teach 'm what Democracy is all 'bout, right Jethro!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:12 | 1117700 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

Where are all the millions of soeterro disciples that should be buying the chevy volt?  Govt Motors only sold 600 so far?  They should have sold 100,000 by now at premium prices!

 

Where are the millions of "big oil is evil" sheeple that should be lining up at Govt Motors to swallow oBOMBa's load of overpriced golf carts?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:32 | 1117814 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Obama Komrad Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) wants legislation giving $7,500 cash payments to Volt buyers at point of sale (i.e. when they buy the car).

This is not a rebate the woman is speaking of. It's scratch. Clams. Caaaash.

But I'm sure there won't be any fraud with that plan (/sarc).

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:25 | 1117770 Confuchius
Confuchius's picture

Tyler, is it mandatory to have that pathetic Indonesian's picture on every "story" involving him?

It's enough to make one lose one's fried rice.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:28 | 1117785 SilverFiend
SilverFiend's picture

The only thing I trust Obama at his word when it comes to energy and electricicty is that under his plan "prices will have to skyrocket"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlTxGHn4sH4&feature=related

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 13:43 | 1117888 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Tyler, 'Loved the Headline, so apropo,

 

"Watch Obama Discuss America's Energy Security Live"

 

 

 

 

This is all the shice-kopf ever does, besides destroy the economy, play golf,and vacation.

 

 

And to think GWB was castigated for SO many golf/vacation outings.

Obama in his first 18 mos has taken off work, more times to playgolf,anmd tyake expensive vacations, than GWB did in 8yrs.

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