Watch Obama Make More Impossible Promises About The Budget

Tyler Durden's picture

Two years after Obama promised to cut the budget in half by the end of his first term (it appears he was confused by math symbols: he meant divide by half), here he is again, reading from the teleprompter, and making a bunch of senseless promises that have no chance in hell of coming true. Most notably, Obama will promise to cut $4 trillion over the next decade.  Of course since by $2020 the budget deficit will be measured in quadrillions, a $4 trillion cut out of $X quadrillion is actually perfectly feasible. Which is why we take back everything we said: Obama will absolutely come through on his promise.



Obama speech word cloud:

And full speech:

Obama Speech

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bob_dabolina's picture

If I had a choice between watching this and dying from uncontrolled bleeding from my anus induced by a ruptured hemorrhoid I would most definitely choose the later.

digalert's picture

On-air orgasms right now!

All are watching the countdown with baited breath.

Fuck Obama

truont's picture

Two years after Obama promised to cut the budget in half by the end of his first term (it appears he was confused by math symbols: he meant divide by half)....


Sad Sufi's picture

Love that smiling sincerity on your chosen photo Tyler.

slaughterer's picture

Got the Vodka here.  One gigantic swig for ever time he says "promise."

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Your commensurate stomach pump will soon be required. 

ATM's picture

That's nothing. Take a big one for every time he says the word "I".

You'll be dead by minute 4.

Whats that smell's picture

Careful it could be The Yes Men?

BrobamaReds's picture

Didn't he promise tacos on Tuesday, ayit?

Sudden Debt's picture

Tuesday is fishstick day.

Everybody knows this.


LFMayor's picture

no dammit, that's Friday, so the mackerel snappers don't feel opressed.

LFMayor's picture

I got junked for that? Come on! 
What are you, the one altar boy who didn't get diddled?

centerline's picture

Soon to be fun food substitute day.  Woodchips... mmmmm.

pods's picture

Mechanically separated chicken.




firstdivision's picture

How about video of Fukushima as it explodes in the next 24 hours? Pool number 4 is about to ignite.

Sudden Debt's picture

They are already at level 7. That means it can't get much worse than it is whatever happens.

That means it will be a non event.


krispkritter's picture

Using Obamath that would be 4*7+2 carry the 13th minus greens fees= -11 Eleventy Billion! We just saved Eleventy Billion Dollars folks! Oh, we were talking about Japan? Can someone translate this into Manganese for them? Everything is just fine, have some more tap water and relax...

TruthInSunshine's picture

Obama speaks, and the earth opens up in Japan (I know, I know - this was yesterday in Japan):

Check out 03:16 and forward.


Dr. Richard Head's picture

Son of Obama.  There are no words to really describe that.  My heart goes out to the people of Japan.

mynhair's picture

Ok, now tank this pig.

arnoldsimage's picture

free markets!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaha

Ident 7777 economy's picture

Left - Right - Left - Right - Left - Right -


Is he watching a pong or tennis match?

OutLookingIn's picture


What a complete and utter bitter disappointment.

He has taken us from the heights of hope and wished for change, to the depths of despair and the status quo, with business as usual.

He will go down in history as a complete waste of effort, being compared to only one other infamous historical character - NERO! Obama - ZERO!

Cynthia's picture

The moment I heard from Philip Giraldi (see first link below) that Obama chose Rahm Emanuel, an Israel Firster, to be his right-hand man was the same moment I knew that Obama would keep us up to our eyeballs in war against the Muslim World. And the moment I learned from Glenn Greenwald (see second link below) that Rahm Emanuel is the Dr. Frankenstein behind the Blue Dogs’ rise to power was the same moment I knew that Obama was nothing more than a puppet for our moneyed elites. So I’ve pretty much written Obama off as a president who’ll stand up against America’s war machine and standing up for ordinary working Americans!

traderjoe's picture

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

YouBetYourLife's picture

Unlike Hercules, who went from Zero to Hero, Obama will be known as the guy who went from Hero to Nero.

trav7777's picture

who is this "us"?  because i wanna know who you people are, bc you are about as dumb as shit.

I sure as hell wasn't at any heights of fuckin hope or believing in all this hopium bullshit, motherfuckers crying and weeping over this chump, passing out as if jesus had come and he was like god floating over all of us.  Fuck that shit.  He's a man, and an unexceptional one at that.

I laugh at people in the personality cult because they are chumps.  And you all got conned, fuckin marks

Developers's picture


good stuff...couldn't agree more.


i don't suppose you're a life coach, eh?

ThePhysicist's picture

Speak for yourself, OutLookinIn.

The "us" that hoped for "change" were the parasites on society that live off the hard work of others. They hoped for more welfare and handouts, and got them. Obama delivered a porkulus handout to payoff his voters, and bankrupted the country in the process.


Kyle Reese's picture

Austerity bitches!  err wait maybe after the election..

foytik's picture

What if Obama got up there and said,

Our economy is in serious trouble. Thats why I propose

disbanding the Federal Reserve and restoring the dollar to being

redeemable in Gold (remember Nixon told us it was temporary

when we went off the gold standard).

Not that that would solve the governments overspending, but

it would be nice to hear a positive proposal.


Milton Waddams's picture

We could atleast inject some fun into the theatrics of the collapse.  Maybe have the President pull the number out of a hat or use one of those lotto ball machines.  

And the deficit over the next ten years will be cut by.... wait.... okay, here it is... FOUR TRILLION!!!

IEVI's picture

It's really hard to laugh while listening to this douchebag...but you just cracked me up. Thanks

Rainman's picture

haha....and take some nationwide over/under bets on the pill pull...all proceeds go to pay off debts..!!

They gots to start thinkin' outside the box !!

RobotTrader's picture

U.S. Dollar is doing pretty well today.

Like I said yesterday, jawboning and electronic digit flipping at the Fed can move any market at will.

lieutenantjohnchard's picture

you also said you were "itching" to get short to make your year. but that was before you decided to distract yourself from your losing portfolio of widows and orphans stocks to bash shorts. i can but imagine how many posts you'll be making when your portfolio experiences real gravity. you'll be making a post a minute to distract yourself from your diminshing capital for lentils, after green sprouts become too expensive for you. lol, as you would bray.

Hephasteus's picture

75.16 is doing pretty well. Considering it's going to be hitting 74 and 72 before the month is out and then it's headed to 66 and 62 slum territory where it will start a horrible 36 state crack addiction.

plocequ1's picture

They can change the course of mighty rivers, Bend steel with their bare hands.

smlbizman's picture

but can't tell the fucking truth ....ever

Hephasteus's picture

Create stupid ironman and batman movies in a single bound.

tmosley's picture

And yet gold and silver are both up.  Guess the KWN boys are dong all right after all, aren't they?


Muir's picture

So, Obama's speech is good for Silver, right?

Should I load up now, or wait for a possible dip?

IEVI's picture

it's not a market fuckhead..its a rigged game

BrobamaReds's picture

Michelle Brobama to be on the next Celebrity Apprentice!!??