Watch The President Discuss Today's Abysmal Job Numbers Live

Tyler Durden's picture

Update: the president is now 30 minutes late. Either the guy on the 18th is taking his sweet time or the teleprompter has been hacked.

The much expected TV appearance, which made waves earlier today with everyone expecting Obama to proudly announce a +200K NFP number is about to start. Watch it live here as the scapegoating begins in 5...4...3...

 

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equity_momo's picture

First question from the Media:

 

Hows the short game coming along Sir?

schoolsout's picture

his foot wedge really helps out

snowball777's picture

The patented Billy Martin sand-trap method.

66Sexy's picture

Dismal jobs report? Bullish everything. You want dollars, you want metals, you want equity: In other words, the report is insignificant.

Since when did the economy move on fundamentals? >?

This means more stimulus, and an assured debt ceiling raise. A big, surprising number. Debt ceiling raise could be the new QE.

Overall bullish for the corporate dictatorship. It means higher efficiency, lower costs. Humans and their payroll taxes, benefits, retirements.. pure liability. Think about that next time you use the automated checkout lines at the supermarket, or buy crap on the web.

All hail the Corporate Dictatorship. We the People will be left with socialist programs and subsidies to make ends meet.

EDIT: Obama: Debt Limit raise is the answer.

BUY everything.

ElvisDog's picture

I'm presuming you are being sarcastic. The dangerous thing about this NFP report (dangerous for TPTB) is that it seems to be pointing out that running 12% deficits and massive stimulus is no longer producing even a short-term pop in employment, i.e. that Keynesism solutions are failing. Sure, there will be calls to increase stimulus from here, but people aren't stupid and Obama=Fail is on their minds.

mkkby's picture

Somebody please pull back the curtain, so we can see who's making his mouth move.

Peter_Griffin's picture

I don't think there is money available for another stimulus.  This is end game.  Quit your jobs and enjoy 12 months mortgage free bitchez.

Dolar in a vortex's picture

Omigosh! He's late again!

This idiot is making it up as he goes along. That's why he's late to every announced speech.

"The smartest guy in the room!"  LOL

HelluvaEngineer's picture

Oh shiznit.  Whatamma gonna say?  For Realz!

TheTmfreak's picture

Blame the Japanese quake.

Or global cooling/warming.

Mactheknife's picture

"Jobs? What jobs? We don't need no stinkin jobs!"

nope-1004's picture

Bla bla bla change you can believe in

bla bla bla I have a dream

bla bla bla hope for all

bla bla bla america will prosper

bla bla

 

Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

1911A1's picture

Don't forget about winning the future!

andybev01's picture

We've won the future, because we are spending it now.

Screw the grandkids, I won't live long enough to meet them anyway.

V in PA's picture

This just in... Obama's theme song for the 2012 campaign. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSBOw51z9YU

 

I can just imagine those mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm kids singing the corus.

Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

The Third Man's picture

Obama: "We begin bombing in 5 minutes."

Libertarian777's picture

As the mining industry has shown, shovels are too slow, high explosives are where it's at. That's why we don't need congressional approval for Libya. We're creating jobs over there for American servicemen and small businesses, like XE

divide_by_zero's picture

Apparently he had to cancel his Montana vacation this weekend,. Do you realize how long it takes to turn that many aircraft around and land them?

MisterMousePotato's picture

He made sure he was late so the markets would close before he opened his mouth.

66Sexy's picture

Technology will replace the obsolete human liabilities, with efficiency.

equity_momo's picture

Those automated checkout lines absolutely suck and take more time .

"unidentified object in the baggage area"

 

Sudden Debt's picture

yeah... and a Ipad is about the maximum we've been able to construct...

 

Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Barry is looking rather grey. Note also the absolutely sour expression when discussing "business" and "private sector" employment. A bitter thing, capitalism. Eh, Barry ?

bigdumbnugly's picture

answer:  "just fine.  i shorted the market before the close yesterday because i knew the job market data sucked."

equity_momo's picture

"not as good as my jump shot Louise"

<cue sychophantic laughter>

 

Cacksuggers.

66Sexy's picture

10 bucks says the markets tick green after the holy father speaks.

ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

slovester's picture

Obama (staring intently at the camera):  These are not the droids you're looking for...

Dr. Engali's picture

Mr. President....may I borrow some change? I'm out of hope.

bigdumbnugly's picture

sorry. Hope is on the Road again.  this time to Despair.

DaveyJones's picture

I thought Hope died in the desert in 2003

bigdumbnugly's picture

no i don't think so.

don't you remember jesse jackson screaming "Keep Hope Alive" all the time?  he must've really liked his tv specials...

Arius's picture

here is some New Hope ... keep the change ...

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

I think he got his wires crossed with the "change" promise. It was supposed to be change for the *better*. 

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We just need the first dog to come up and take a dump at the foot of the empty podium to complete the picture.

karzai_luver's picture

this IS change for the better ... what your class is left out.

BWHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!

yep, no classes in amerika. Is your ass blistered red yet suckas!

Newsflash, nobody that matters gives a damn about your silly yobs.

 

dwdollar's picture

"Let me be frank, I was handed this problem... blah blah blah..."

There Mr. President.  I said it all for you.

Arius's picture

what else can he say ? thats the last line of defense.

Libertarian777's picture

Hi frank. Frankly we don't believe you.

Smiley's picture

"We decided the best way to get the car out of the ditch, is to load the trunk with C4 and blow the damn thing up."