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Watch The President Discuss Today's Abysmal Job Numbers Live

Tyler Durden's picture


Update: the president is now 30 minutes late. Either the guy on the 18th is taking his sweet time or the teleprompter has been hacked.

The much expected TV appearance, which made waves earlier today with everyone expecting Obama to proudly announce a +200K NFP number is about to start. Watch it live here as the scapegoating begins in 5...4...3...



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Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:32 | 1436410 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

First question from the Media:


Hows the short game coming along Sir?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436420 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

his foot wedge really helps out

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:36 | 1436439 snowball777
snowball777's picture

The patented Billy Martin sand-trap method.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:12 | 1436476 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

Dismal jobs report? Bullish everything. You want dollars, you want metals, you want equity: In other words, the report is insignificant.

Since when did the economy move on fundamentals? >?

This means more stimulus, and an assured debt ceiling raise. A big, surprising number. Debt ceiling raise could be the new QE.

Overall bullish for the corporate dictatorship. It means higher efficiency, lower costs. Humans and their payroll taxes, benefits, retirements.. pure liability. Think about that next time you use the automated checkout lines at the supermarket, or buy crap on the web.

All hail the Corporate Dictatorship. We the People will be left with socialist programs and subsidies to make ends meet.

EDIT: Obama: Debt Limit raise is the answer.

BUY everything.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:59 | 1436986 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I'm presuming you are being sarcastic. The dangerous thing about this NFP report (dangerous for TPTB) is that it seems to be pointing out that running 12% deficits and massive stimulus is no longer producing even a short-term pop in employment, i.e. that Keynesism solutions are failing. Sure, there will be calls to increase stimulus from here, but people aren't stupid and Obama=Fail is on their minds.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:50 | 1437680 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Somebody please pull back the curtain, so we can see who's making his mouth move.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 15:23 | 1437878 Peter_Griffin
Peter_Griffin's picture

I don't think there is money available for another stimulus.  This is end game.  Quit your jobs and enjoy 12 months mortgage free bitchez.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:42 | 1436478 Dolar in a vortex
Dolar in a vortex's picture

Omigosh! He's late again!

This idiot is making it up as he goes along. That's why he's late to every announced speech.

"The smartest guy in the room!"  LOL

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:46 | 1436511 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Oh shiznit.  Whatamma gonna say?  For Realz!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:52 | 1436559 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

"Damn weather"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436624 TheTmfreak
TheTmfreak's picture

Blame the Japanese quake.

Or global cooling/warming.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:05 | 1436670 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

"Jobs? What jobs? We don't need no stinkin jobs!"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:40 | 1436868 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Bla bla bla change you can believe in

bla bla bla I have a dream

bla bla bla hope for all

bla bla bla america will prosper

bla bla


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:05 | 1437022 Confucious 222
Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:33 | 1437121 1911A1
1911A1's picture

Don't forget about winning the future!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:45 | 1437406 andybev01
andybev01's picture

We've won the future, because we are spending it now.

Screw the grandkids, I won't live long enough to meet them anyway.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 16:44 | 1438247 V in PA
V in PA's picture

This just in... Obama's theme song for the 2012 campaign.


I can just imagine those mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm kids singing the corus.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:06 | 1437024 Confucious 222
Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:57 | 1436971 Silver Shield
Silver Shield's picture

30 Reasons To Get Out Of Real Estate And Into REAL Assets

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436642 The Third Man
The Third Man's picture

Obama: "We begin bombing in 5 minutes."

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:21 | 1436774 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

As the mining industry has shown, shovels are too slow, high explosives are where it's at. That's why we don't need congressional approval for Libya. We're creating jobs over there for American servicemen and small businesses, like XE

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:17 | 1437058 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

post of the week award

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:54 | 1436574 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Apparently he had to cancel his Montana vacation this weekend,. Do you realize how long it takes to turn that many aircraft around and land them?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436627 trav7777
trav7777's picture

uh, no...he's on CPT

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 16:38 | 1438219 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

He made sure he was late so the markets would close before he opened his mouth.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436454 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

Technology will replace the obsolete human liabilities, with efficiency.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:42 | 1436484 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Those automated checkout lines absolutely suck and take more time .

"unidentified object in the baggage area"


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:13 | 1436715 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

yeah... and a Ipad is about the maximum we've been able to construct...


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:14 | 1436727 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Barry is looking rather grey. Note also the absolutely sour expression when discussing "business" and "private sector" employment. A bitter thing, capitalism. Eh, Barry ?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:34 | 1436432 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

answer:  "just fine.  i shorted the market before the close yesterday because i knew the job market data sucked."

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:35 | 1436435 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

"not as good as my jump shot Louise"

<cue sychophantic laughter>



Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436643 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

10 bucks says the markets tick green after the holy father speaks.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436419 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436421 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436422 slovester
slovester's picture

Obama (staring intently at the camera):  These are not the droids you're looking for...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:03 | 1436654 The Third Man
The Third Man's picture


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:15 | 1436739 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Good one.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:34 | 1436429 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Mr. President....may I borrow some change? I'm out of hope.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436446 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

sorry. Hope is on the Road again.  this time to Despair.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:19 | 1437067 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought Hope died in the desert in 2003

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:03 | 1437464 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

no i don't think so.

don't you remember jesse jackson screaming "Keep Hope Alive" all the time?  he must've really liked his tv specials...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436477 Arius
Arius's picture

here is some New Hope ... keep the change ...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:35 | 1436434 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

I think he got his wires crossed with the "change" promise. It was supposed to be change for the *better*. 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436560 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We just need the first dog to come up and take a dump at the foot of the empty podium to complete the picture.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:27 | 1436803 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

this IS change for the better ... what your class is left out.


yep, no classes in amerika. Is your ass blistered red yet suckas!

Newsflash, nobody that matters gives a damn about your silly yobs.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:36 | 1436441 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Spot the autocue.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:38 | 1436449 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

"Let me be frank, I was handed this problem... blah blah blah..."

There Mr. President.  I said it all for you.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436523 Arius
Arius's picture

what else can he say ? thats the last line of defense.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:23 | 1436780 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

Hi frank. Frankly we don't believe you.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:38 | 1436452 Smiley
Smiley's picture

"We decided the best way to get the car out of the ditch, is to load the trunk with C4 and blow the damn thing up."

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:46 | 1436514 km4
km4's picture


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:31 | 1436817 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

When stuck in a ditch or mudhole , the best way out is to lighten the load.

Then you lay down a vary NARROW path out.


Working well so far.

yobs ????YOBS??????? well no matter your YOBS are a fiction.

Many more will find out although it may take 1 more election.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:39 | 1436453 BeerWhisperer
BeerWhisperer's picture

Always late....

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436468 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Teleprompter must be broken again.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436525 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Told ya , hes in the WH indoor driving range , right by the bowling alley.

"just one more bucket and i'll be right up"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436459 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

He has a long list of people to blame,

starting with the Boehner gang...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:49 | 1436531 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Starting w GW Bush, I'll bet ya $10!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 18:56 | 1438605 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

he wouldn't blame his golf partner this week

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:39 | 1436460 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Is someone with such a questionable birth certificate qualified to offer opinion on such important matters?

Maybe someone made the wrong layer visible on the NFP document? Should have shown layer with good figure on and hid layer with bad figure, tut.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:51 | 1437433 andybev01
andybev01's picture

The question of a birth certificate is moot.

Anyone who wants the job of POTUS shouldn't be allowed to have it, because regardless of who it is or what party he belongs to or from under which rock he crawled, he (soon to be 'or she') is an empty suit, full of hot air, owned by TPTB.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:40 | 1436461 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I am getting pumped for this speech by playing, Sneaker Pimps "Spin Spin Sugar" on repeat.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:49 | 1437198 pods
pods's picture

Nice.  Just loaded that back on the ipod yesterday!


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:47 | 1436464 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture


Q: "How does it feel to be the most useless President in the history of the USA?"


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:17 | 1436755 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Ask Dubya.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:23 | 1437074 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

he was an amazing criminal but then again I have to give most credit to his VP but it sure looks like, despite whatever labels they wear, our presidents, along with the viability of The Bill of Rights just keep getting worse and worse... along with the situation  

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 18:58 | 1438607 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:33 | 1436829 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Question , how does it feel looking out at so many idiots that look to DC

as a savior???



Ummmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!


Quetstion,,, if anyone cared why are they not at YOUR gates???


UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM hope mmmm mmmm mmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:40 | 1436466 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I hope everyone BTFD in Gold and Silver. New highs are now inevitable despite margin changes and counterfeit paper dumping. The Republican candidate campaign slogan should be "It's the Money Stupid".

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:32 | 1437118 tiger7905
tiger7905's picture

India's MMTC announced they are expecting to import 350 tons of gold for fiscal 2011-12.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:40 | 1436467 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nice podium.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436481 BeerWhisperer
BeerWhisperer's picture

Now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. If Bernanke gets hold of this Building and Loan, there'll never be another decent house built in this town. He's already got charge of the bank. He's got the bus line. He got the department stores. And now he's after us. Why? Well, it's very simple. Because we're cutting in on his business, that's why. And because he wants to keep you living in his slums and paying the kind of rent he decides. Joe, you had one of those Bernanke houses, didn't you? Well, have you forgotten? Have you forgotten what he charged you for that broken-down shack? Here, Ed. You know, you remember last year when things weren't going so well, and you couldn't make your payments? You didn't lose your house, did you? Do you think Bernanke would have let you keep it? Can't you understand what's happening here? Don't you see what's happening? Bernanke isn't selling. Bernanke's buying! And why? Because we're panicking and he's not. That's why. He's picking up some bargains. Now, we can get through this thing all right. We've got to stick together, though. We've got to have faith in each other.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:59 | 1436610 magis00
magis00's picture

I love you.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:43 | 1436491 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

damn, did he flee back down to S America?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:59 | 1436616 n9lhm
n9lhm's picture

Or Kenya?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436493 Ham Wallet
Ham Wallet's picture

Job numbers are racist.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:47 | 1436522 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Some idiot calling into Glenn Beck's radio show just said that!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436651 trav7777
trav7777's picture

This jobs number is nothing that more diversity won't fix.

The Federal Gov and USPS are loaded with diversity.  And just look at how efficient and well they function.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:32 | 1437114 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

DSM IV 301.7

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436495 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture



Staffers unable to get Teleprompter out of locked bathroom!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436634 Bob
Bob's picture

Panic attack!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436496 bogdiac
bogdiac's picture

"There are positive signs in these numbers"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:25 | 1436790 bread n circuses
bread n circuses's picture

There are.  Really.

The only sectors that showed a drop in employment are governemnt and temp. workers.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:04 | 1437014 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

You are being disingenious (sp?) whether intentionally or not. A positive number is not enough. The net gain in jobs (new jobs - new entrants into the work force) has to be positive. Working age population grew by 176,000 last month, which means there are 160,000 new people who don't have a job.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:24 | 1437342 bread n circuses
bread n circuses's picture

 So let's create more gov't jobs then (pay people to dig holes and more people to fill them up)if net gain in new jobs is all we need.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:47 | 1436500 smithcreek
smithcreek's picture

Obamessiah:  "What's the problem here?  I told you guys I would 'focus like a LASER on jobs?'  You know how it works, point, pull trigger, POOF!!!  Gone.  What did you think I meant?"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:57 | 1437453 andybev01
andybev01's picture

"All I want are frickin' sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads!!"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436503 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Come on Mr. President.  Front-running HAL 9000 is beginning to worry.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:46 | 1436517 ss123
ss123's picture

Did I miss something or has he went AWOL?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436524 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture


Taking a piss, surely?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:50 | 1436537 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

You should know by now he's always late.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436527 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Teleprompter must be down. Yikes.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436528 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture the teleprompter actually going to speak or what?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:56 | 1436597 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Yeap why pay someone big money to talk crap. Tech repalcing the President of the USA> Nuf said. Send me the fucking PPT and I will read it myself.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:03 | 1436656 trav7777
trav7777's picture

He is Teddy Ruxpin. 

I would mark the fuck out if they put that bear up there with an Obama sounding tape in his back

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:58 | 1437456 andybev01
andybev01's picture


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:04 | 1437473 andybev01
andybev01's picture

You're assuming that anyone would notice.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:50 | 1436536 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

He's still on the 18th hole...  Can't get it in.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:50 | 1436538 smithcreek
smithcreek's picture

I hope he says something to the effect of "I inherited this mess" because I get the sense that even the average Joe will be pissed off to hear that.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:50 | 1436539 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Michelle is off to Iran next week, she had a great time in Africa.  F-ck you very much!!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:51 | 1436546 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Well, this morning's price action in gold should (but won't) silence the deflation critics who say gold is going to deflate with everything else.  Bad jobs numbers print, and everyone poured into gold.

Gold, the only insurance against risk.  The perfect trade.  The lifeboat against what is coming.  Get ahead of the stampede or get trampled.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:51 | 1436547 ss123
ss123's picture

He got locked out of the house that one time... maybe now he's locked in?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436549 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Fashionably late, Mr President.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:51 | 1436552 Franken_Stein
Franken_Stein's picture


Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

I never promised you a rose garden.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:52 | 1436554 BeerWhisperer
BeerWhisperer's picture

I beg your pardon

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436562 Franken_Stein
Franken_Stein's picture


That's gonna be his introductory line, I guess.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:06 | 1437480 andybev01
andybev01's picture

There's gotta be a little rain sometime.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:52 | 1436553 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Man that must be one nasty dump he's taking.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436557 digalert
digalert's picture

Remember this last month?

"Daily economics briefings disappear"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:03 | 1436637 moonstears
moonstears's picture

How much daily, "All's well Mr. President" could you handle from Timmy and Co.? I don't blame him, he shoulda just fired some fuckers, to get some real info from real economists, IMO, alas, the "esteemed" ones all have to repeat the same bullshit happy mantra to stay employed, thus truth in economics equals higher unemployment :)

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436558 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

The low NFP numbers mean everyone's already employed that needs a job.  It's all good news folks

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436563 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

wow...riveting...this may be the most intelligent speech he has ever fact he should quit now before he says something stupid and ruins it...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436565 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Michelle is trying to get his morale up...  The first words out of his mouth will break 1336 support on the ES.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:55 | 1436589 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Seriously.  Looks like futes are growing impatient.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:55 | 1436575 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

While we are waiting, here's some music from Obama-Rama-Lama-Ding=Dong:


What's taking so long...did Barry O start smoking cigars?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:49 | 1437197 I Am The Unknow...
Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:54 | 1436579 DonnieD
DonnieD's picture

I guess his golf lesson ran a little over. Needs some work on those long irons.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:55 | 1436583 agNau
agNau's picture

These guy's just don't know how to play the game. What they need is the tickers on the screen beside the tele-prompter's head. As he reads, the algos are flipped on and the magic of the orator is experienced "real time". It would be like the Bush II, reversed. They may even push the limits and put Biden on. Nah!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:55 | 1436584 ss123
ss123's picture

Maybe he is getting some last minute pointers from Hugo Chavez.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:56 | 1436596 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, low jobs means cheap oil, so this is a banner day for da US of A.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:57 | 1436599 trillion_dollar...
trillion_dollar_deficit's picture

Hes already 1/2 hour late. Thinking theyre delaying until when the final Space Shuttle launch at 10:35 so the networks wont have to cover his speech. Afterall, what the hell can he possibly say in this situation.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:59 | 1436613 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

He's waiting for the launch to limit the number of people watching him......

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:57 | 1436600 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Maybe somebody should check the garage and see if Air Force One is still there.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:58 | 1436604 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

Monrovia on the Potomac.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:58 | 1436607 Franken_Stein
Franken_Stein's picture


There's a shadowy guy waiting in the bushes on the left hand side.

Oh, it's only Dick Cheney, carrying a National Security Letter.


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:58 | 1436609 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Not a good day for Obama-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong to be late while SqueeNBSquee (CNBC) is running the contest for "Worst Boss" 

....ummm I think we all have the answer to that question by now.....

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436611 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

Well,don't worry too much 'bout the disastrous NFP number Mr President.I gotta some good news regarding hiring .The extremist American Militia Movement is recruiting record numbers.........ya gat that.....BOY!

See Mr Obummer,the economoney isn't as bad as ya think.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:59 | 1436618 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Must be problems backing up today's Tee Time

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436626 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Are they trying to bring Keynes back from the dead?

"Duh... whadda we do now boss?"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436631 djsmps
djsmps's picture

Obama has been late to just about every speech or press conference. To me, it is the ultimate sign of his arrogance.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:07 | 1436678 trav7777
trav7777's picture

Your to rayciss

He's on CPT and for you to expect him to abide by your rayciss standards of behavior is oppressive and - did I say - RAYCISS.  He is diversity and DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH.  Diversity macht frei, got it?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:14 | 1436734 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

Missah Trav, I flexin' Monday.  My dog is rea' sick.....

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436632 Robslob
Robslob's picture

And Heres Barry!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436635 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

waiting for final approval on his speech from the bilderberg group?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436638 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

oh, and all the way from Chicago, here's another song while we wait:

"temporary layoffs: Good Times!

easy credit ripoffs: Good Times!

Ain't we lucky we got 'em: Good Times!"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436640 km4
km4's picture

while you're waiting see this nice upskirt

Kate Middleton Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:04 | 1436657 magis00
magis00's picture

Royal Heiness indeed

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436646 magis00
magis00's picture

is that ... Barry?  You don't look like yourself today . . .

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436647 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

Wrong black guy . . .


Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:04 | 1436662 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

I bet that ones got a legit birth certificate though.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436648 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Was that the decoy?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436649 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Uncle Tom just came out to check the podium

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:02 | 1436650 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Obama is late because they are still trying to figure out how to say, "I'm raising the debt ceiling with or without Congress because we really need to give the banks just a little more money because they are threatening to blow this whole thing up if we don't," without making it sound quite that bad.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:03 | 1436652 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Hey Obama Rodge....WHAT'S HAPPENING?

ZH readers wait to see ReRun!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:04 | 1436661 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

Obama:"not sure what all the excitement is about. If it wasn't for the stimulus the NFL would be -2million. Today's NFP shows we created or saved 2,018,000 jobs this month"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:04 | 1436663 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

Obama:"not sure what all the excitement is about. If it wasn't for the stimulus the NFL would be -2million. Today's NFP shows we created or saved 2,018,000 jobs this month"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:05 | 1436665 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Speches only take a

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:06 | 1436666 Cow
Cow's picture

Take a shot of something everytime he says:



2 million jobs created

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:28 | 1436808 Chump
Chump's picture

I know it's Friday and all, but passed out in a puddle of vomit at 11:15AM is a little much.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 15:20 | 1437860 Braindonor1
Braindonor1's picture

We have a winner!

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