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Watch The President Discuss Today's Abysmal Job Numbers Live

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Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:32 | 1436410 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

First question from the Media:

 

Hows the short game coming along Sir?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436420 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

his foot wedge really helps out

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:36 | 1436439 snowball777
snowball777's picture

The patented Billy Martin sand-trap method.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:12 | 1436476 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

Dismal jobs report? Bullish everything. You want dollars, you want metals, you want equity: In other words, the report is insignificant.

Since when did the economy move on fundamentals? >?

This means more stimulus, and an assured debt ceiling raise. A big, surprising number. Debt ceiling raise could be the new QE.

Overall bullish for the corporate dictatorship. It means higher efficiency, lower costs. Humans and their payroll taxes, benefits, retirements.. pure liability. Think about that next time you use the automated checkout lines at the supermarket, or buy crap on the web.

All hail the Corporate Dictatorship. We the People will be left with socialist programs and subsidies to make ends meet.

EDIT: Obama: Debt Limit raise is the answer.

BUY everything.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:59 | 1436986 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I'm presuming you are being sarcastic. The dangerous thing about this NFP report (dangerous for TPTB) is that it seems to be pointing out that running 12% deficits and massive stimulus is no longer producing even a short-term pop in employment, i.e. that Keynesism solutions are failing. Sure, there will be calls to increase stimulus from here, but people aren't stupid and Obama=Fail is on their minds.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:50 | 1437680 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Somebody please pull back the curtain, so we can see who's making his mouth move.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 15:23 | 1437878 Peter_Griffin
Peter_Griffin's picture

I don't think there is money available for another stimulus.  This is end game.  Quit your jobs and enjoy 12 months mortgage free bitchez.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:42 | 1436478 Dolar in a vortex
Dolar in a vortex's picture

Omigosh! He's late again!

This idiot is making it up as he goes along. That's why he's late to every announced speech.

"The smartest guy in the room!"  LOL

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:46 | 1436511 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Oh shiznit.  Whatamma gonna say?  For Realz!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:52 | 1436559 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

"Damn weather"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436624 TheTmfreak
TheTmfreak's picture

Blame the Japanese quake.

Or global cooling/warming.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:05 | 1436670 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

"Jobs? What jobs? We don't need no stinkin jobs!"

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:40 | 1436868 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Bla bla bla change you can believe in

bla bla bla I have a dream

bla bla bla hope for all

bla bla bla america will prosper

bla bla

 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:05 | 1437022 Confucious 222
Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:33 | 1437121 1911A1
1911A1's picture

Don't forget about winning the future!

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 13:45 | 1437406 andybev01
andybev01's picture

We've won the future, because we are spending it now.

Screw the grandkids, I won't live long enough to meet them anyway.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 16:44 | 1438247 V in PA
V in PA's picture

This just in... Obama's theme song for the 2012 campaign. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSBOw51z9YU

 

I can just imagine those mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm kids singing the corus.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:06 | 1437024 Confucious 222
Confucious 222's picture

You forgot:

"We need to "invest"" bla bla bla sheep

"Invest" always equals "spend your grandkid's taxes, as if they could ever pay any" because we are scumbag plutocrats, and need POWER to keep you suppressed.

Always remember, invest = suppressed in Obummer bla bla bla sheep speak

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:57 | 1436971 Silver Shield
Silver Shield's picture

30 Reasons To Get Out Of Real Estate And Into REAL Assets
http://dont-tread-on.me/30-reasons-to-get-out-of-real-estate-and-into-re...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436642 The Third Man
The Third Man's picture

Obama: "We begin bombing in 5 minutes."

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:21 | 1436774 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

As the mining industry has shown, shovels are too slow, high explosives are where it's at. That's why we don't need congressional approval for Libya. We're creating jobs over there for American servicemen and small businesses, like XE

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:17 | 1437058 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

post of the week award

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:54 | 1436574 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Apparently he had to cancel his Montana vacation this weekend,. Do you realize how long it takes to turn that many aircraft around and land them?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:00 | 1436627 trav7777
trav7777's picture

uh, no...he's on CPT

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 16:38 | 1438219 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

He made sure he was late so the markets would close before he opened his mouth.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436454 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

Technology will replace the obsolete human liabilities, with efficiency.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:42 | 1436484 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Those automated checkout lines absolutely suck and take more time .

"unidentified object in the baggage area"

 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:13 | 1436715 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

yeah... and a Ipad is about the maximum we've been able to construct...

 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:14 | 1436727 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Barry is looking rather grey. Note also the absolutely sour expression when discussing "business" and "private sector" employment. A bitter thing, capitalism. Eh, Barry ?

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:34 | 1436432 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

answer:  "just fine.  i shorted the market before the close yesterday because i knew the job market data sucked."

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:35 | 1436435 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

"not as good as my jump shot Louise"

<cue sychophantic laughter>

 

Cacksuggers.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01 | 1436643 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

10 bucks says the markets tick green after the holy father speaks.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436419 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436421 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I will residn as of 5pm today...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:33 | 1436422 slovester
slovester's picture

Obama (staring intently at the camera):  These are not the droids you're looking for...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:03 | 1436654 The Third Man
The Third Man's picture

+++++

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:15 | 1436739 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Good one.

+1

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:34 | 1436429 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Mr. President....may I borrow some change? I'm out of hope.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:44 | 1436446 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

sorry. Hope is on the Road again.  this time to Despair.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 12:19 | 1437067 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought Hope died in the desert in 2003

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 14:03 | 1437464 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

no i don't think so.

don't you remember jesse jackson screaming "Keep Hope Alive" all the time?  he must've really liked his tv specials...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:41 | 1436477 Arius
Arius's picture

here is some New Hope ... keep the change ...

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:35 | 1436434 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

I think he got his wires crossed with the "change" promise. It was supposed to be change for the *better*. 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:53 | 1436560 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We just need the first dog to come up and take a dump at the foot of the empty podium to complete the picture.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:27 | 1436803 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

this IS change for the better ... what your class is left out.

BWHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!

yep, no classes in amerika. Is your ass blistered red yet suckas!

Newsflash, nobody that matters gives a damn about your silly yobs.

 

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:36 | 1436441 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Spot the autocue.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:38 | 1436449 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

"Let me be frank, I was handed this problem... blah blah blah..."

There Mr. President.  I said it all for you.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:48 | 1436523 Arius
Arius's picture

what else can he say ? thats the last line of defense.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:23 | 1436780 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

Hi frank. Frankly we don't believe you.

Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:38 | 1436452 Smiley
Smiley's picture

"We decided the best way to get the car out of the ditch, is to load the trunk with C4 and blow the damn thing up."

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