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Weiner Announcing Resignation

Tyler Durden's picture


Update: Well that was quick - Weiner lasted just 4 minutes. Speech over.

Watch it live. Elsewhere, InTrade about to commence cash settlement on Weiner resignation contracts.

And a reply for historians wondering just how far US civilization had fallen before it finally imploded:


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Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:23 | 1375278 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

He needs to hurry it up.  His ride is waiting outside:

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:26 | 1375295 Absinthe Minded
Absinthe Minded's picture

Maybe that's his new gig, driving the wienermobile. Spokesperson, model, the possibilities are endless.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:39 | 1375332 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Couldn't have happened to a nicer scumbag.  You can tell what type a person he was by how he treated his staff.  He treated them like dogdirt publically and privately.  I really though AIPAC would help him hang on.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:53 | 1375397 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

you're right but for sex texting?

Bubba was getting oral sex in the oval office, lied about itand never resigned. After Clinton how can anybody ever resign over sex matters

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:44 | 1375771 macholatte
macholatte's picture

This is one of the reasons America is screwed up. It's OK to swindle billions/trillions from the people, even admirable. But cheat on your wife? Well, that's going too far.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:54 | 1375809 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

It's just as screwed up to think he should stay in office after such a display. Guys like this, who are willing to lie, blame it on someone else, then confess only because they got caught are also the easiest to be blackmailed and corrupted. My guess is this guy has already swindled millions from people via his votes and has a job waiting for him that will continue the legacy.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:11 | 1375859 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Yeah, I watched the pathetic little weasel.

Can I have my six minutes back please?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:20 | 1375886 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

a congressman corrupted? let's not exaggerate come on

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:39 | 1376504 Freddie
Freddie's picture


He is stupid, childish and a nasty piece of work.  He lied and claimed Andrew Brietbart hacked his phone and the media too Weiner's side on everything.  

I wonder if he gets to keep his gig as the beard husband to Hillary's girlfriend.  Hillary has bad taste. Huma is a skanky lesbo.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:44 | 1376514 Freddie
Freddie's picture


BTW - he has $5 million in his campaign acount that he gets to keep.  The bribes in Congress are good especially in NYC and big city districts.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:57 | 1376432 bigelkhorn
bigelkhorn's picture

ha ha this is funny, what a naughty gerbil. He has wrecked his whole family and job cause of this. Moronic ey?

Funny thing is that at the start of JUNE these FFT guys forecast he was going to quit and resign and told everyone to look for that to happen.  and now it happen, WOW look at their free forecast here   totally amazing. 

 They also called the stockmarket crash back in 2008 so I follow them closely. Spot on, so that why I follow them. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:23 | 1375279 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Do you think it is hard for Weiner to pull out after all he has given to his constituents and the country?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:50 | 1375398 redpill
redpill's picture

I don't know, but done after only 4 minutes?  I figured he would have more stamina.


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:26 | 1375900 andybev01
andybev01's picture

Premature evacuation can be very upsetting.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:23 | 1375282 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

If your weiner resigns, just take viagra and all will be well.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:30 | 1375296 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

did you see the pic? He ain't packing much heat to begin with

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:04 | 1375448 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

You are cold!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:13 | 1375475 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

hey, he is the one that goofed and made it public for the world to see

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:23 | 1375674 Monedas
Monedas's picture

That well known "catadora de penis" (female, penis catagorizer) Barbara Walters implied he was something special ? They always pump Liberals ! I'm no expert....well, I guess with porn we're all experts now....I never got see see the package ? Monedas 2011 Larry King, Space Shuttle, Weiner....just go away !!!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:25 | 1375288 trillion_dollar...
trillion_dollar_deficit's picture

The heckler was awesome!!!

"Mr. Weiner, were you fully erect? The people demand to know!"

"Are you more than 7 inches?"




Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:16 | 1375490 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Wait, there was a heckler? Guess I'll have to watch it now.

I was wondering why even bother with yet another disaster of a press conference when you could just issue a statement. Now I bet he's wondering the same thing.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:14 | 1376348 vato poco
vato poco's picture

the heckler just *proves* weiner is a gutless candyass. a REAL Noo Yawkuh would have shot back, "hell yes i got more than 7 inches! well, depending on where you start measuring from..."

he'd have become an instant NYC legend. instead, he'll be managing a burger king in 6 months.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:29 | 1375291 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

wrong, again!   i took G-pap;  couldn't resist the underdoggie...

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:30 | 1375308 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

now he has lost his job. since he no longer has his political job, his political wife, will no longer require his services. since he was messing around on her anyway, she will divorce his ass and since she is pregnant, weiner will be on the hook for alimony payments. besides she is a muslim anyway. not sure why they got married in the first place.  if he just had not sent out those tweets about thomas , he would not be having these problems. what was he thinking? 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:22 | 1375511 downrodeo
downrodeo's picture

"what was he thinking?"



"You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take a picture of my wang and send it to this little hottie over twitter. What could possibly go wrong? I literally have NOTHING to lose; this plan is flawless...where's my cell phone?"

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:50 | 1375619 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+5... Flawless analysis of the Weiner thought process...

Always thinking with the wrong head.. Aye Weiner...

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:45 | 1376532 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He is a "beard" husband.  Huma is Hillary's girlfriend.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:34 | 1375309 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Out of rehab so soon? Gotta wait for his tweet to see if he's really changed.

Haven't seen the last of this hateful douchebag and his package.

Weiner, Bitchez!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:31 | 1375312 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Now he's free to let his freak flag fly without fear of political fallout. Oh the joy.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:16 | 1375686 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

the shine has come off of that pumpkin for sure.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:35 | 1375315 Corduroy
Corduroy's picture

Good to see wiener taking the fall for pics of someone elses appendage... you dont think he was the only one on pay and display

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:32 | 1375325 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Congressman Weiner Resigns, Announces Candidacy for President

Congressman Weiner abruptly resigned this morning and announced his candidacy for the Democrat Presidential nomination.  He named, as his running mate, Attorney General Eric Holder.

The campaign is currently searching for a graphic designer to create campaign bumper stickers.



Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:35 | 1375333 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Weiner will rise again!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:57 | 1375421 redpill
redpill's picture

Since he took pics in the Congressional gym, does that mean his johnson is subject to FOIA requests?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:16 | 1375502 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

That would most definitely be a FOIA request that returns TMI.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:40 | 1375358 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Sounds like a job for Banzai7.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:17 | 1375689 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

run for president?  does he have the jewish vote? 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:34 | 1375330 There ya go again.
There ya go again.'s picture

"You won't have THIS Weiner to beat on anymore. "

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:41 | 1375341 Blano
Blano's picture

He's gonna need an income, so he'll turn up somewhere eventually.

Maybe it'll be Weiner-Spitzer on CNN.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:52 | 1375405 redpill
redpill's picture

Now we just need Wisconsin Representative Tom Swallower to get caught up in one of these things too.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:47 | 1375346 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Journalist Barry Chamish just wrote about the Jewish Anthony Weiner and his Muslim wife, Huma Abedin, a woman with Pakistani roots and a mother teaching in Saudi Arabia, and about evidence of a long-standing lesbian relationship between Weiner's wife and Hillary Clinton, the older lesbian woman and the social-climbing young girl reaping rewards.

Chamish suggests that the take-down of Weiner was a plot because of Weiner's un-approved, aggressive attacks on Saudi Arabian influence ... not desired by the US establishment, which supports Saudi Arabia as much as it supports the Israeli regime in many respects.

Though Weiner was an ultra-aggressive Zionist, Chamish sees him as a Zionist who 'went rogue', stepping on the toes of the US oligarchs, interfering with the exact way they want to manage Zionism along with the Saudis etc. ... interesting perspective:

(Israeli-Canadian Barry Chamish was nearly murdered inside Israel for his exposés of Israeli corruption ... he's the leading journalist on the conspiracy behind the assassination of Israeli prime minister Rabin, among other things.)

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:21 | 1375703 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

yeh he went rogue. it was something stupid and silly about the tea party and clarence thomas and his view that thomas should resign from the court for cheating on his taxes and also because thomas refuses to recuse himself about cases in which he (according to weiner) has a conflict of interest. the problem is, that he was talking about monsanto, a company where thomas used to work. monsanto is a high level illuminati company and in the big picture, they are in charge of destroying the world food supply in order to eliminate useless eaters. so along comes this small cog weiner bugging thomas during a time when the supreme court is hearing a important case with monsanto as defendant. then all of a sudden, someone in the press starts talking about how weiner acts stupid on his facebook account. in two weeks, here he is resigning. goals achieved. irritating man removed.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:53 | 1376552 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Monsanto that bought Searle in 1985 to get aspartame.  Guess who's daddy was on the board of Searle? William "terrorist bomber" Ayers. The ghost writer of Obama's books.  Ayers old man was loaded and got bomber Billy out of doing a lifetime stay in prison for his terrorist bombing.  The old man was also CEO or board member of an elec utility in Chicago.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:44 | 1375357 Vinny
Vinny's picture

These two would make a great TV team. The Weiner-Schnitzel hour.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:43 | 1375367 Vinny
Vinny's picture

b.g. in brussels??? How did you escape from the county mental ward? You've got some serious issues with reality.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:43 | 1375368 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

The Snake's Progress: From attack dog to wiener dog.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:44 | 1375370 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture, the latest ipo sensation.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:48 | 1375374 optimator
optimator's picture

And how about Dr. Ron Paul's stock portfolio!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:45 | 1375378 Logans_Run
Logans_Run's picture

Under 4 minutes! Is that considered premature in this case?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:50 | 1375381 Vinny
Vinny's picture

I wonder what this does to Huma Abedin's prospects of becoming a US Senator?. The pity factor worked well for Hillary and she will remain in public eye for a long time to come.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:53 | 1375399 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

What a circus. People are naturally angry. Wait till the outrage hits over the spending of money and theft of pensions, jobs, middle class.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:56 | 1375410 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

when your wifes a dyke, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 14:56 | 1375415 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

What? Did the Saudi's put a gun to the head of Ant-knee Weenuh and make him send that photo? Or the Israeli Mossad? Or Huma? Or the CEO of Monsanto?


The conspiracy theories are just stupid. Weenuh is a freak, and he got caught, and the freaks come out at night, and the Greeks don't want no freaks, and Ant-knee just did not have the stroke to keep up as Huma's beard.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:01 | 1375423 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

its pretty simple actually, his wife was not giving him any.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:08 | 1375453 jpalace
jpalace's picture

Doesnt look like either "weiner" is going to be working for a while...

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:09 | 1375456 Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence's picture

Politician = scumbag, but why should you lose your job because you texted someone a picture of your wang?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:07 | 1375460 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture


2 quotes: "Good riddance, bye bye pervert!" and "Are you longer than 7inches?".

Yep, the people have spoken and that's they're response.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:20 | 1375873 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

First voice I heard when turning on CSPAN today was Benjy Bronk’s.  Nice work Benjy!

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:11 | 1375463 OldTrooper
OldTrooper's picture

One down, 534 more to go...

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:12 | 1375469 Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin's picture

Now that was a good one.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:19 | 1375499 Gold Man-Sacks
Gold Man-Sacks's picture

Weiner has shrunk under pressure.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:18 | 1375510 Canaduh
Canaduh's picture

Finally the press started asking some real questions. What do you mean those were hecklers?

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:18 | 1375512 pitz
pitz's picture

I guess they're going to have a Wiener roast to send him off.....

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:27 | 1375536 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

I'm gonna miss him.  Today's PMSL was the voice from the back of the news conference asking "Are you 7 inches?".  God, you cannot make this stuff up!  I'm sorry he's gone, but it couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.  

This knucklebone ws the ultimate tool of Pelosi, O'Bottom, et al. They could wind him up and send him out in attack mode and the press covered it like he was Socrates.  They let him in on a couple of their meetings to make him feel like he was part of the team. The poor schmuck, he never got in to the real meetings where the smart adults made the actual decisions and plans.  This dumbass believed his own hype, the arogant turd is now outside staring in. No job, no skills. 


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:39 | 1375584 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

He did score a hot chick out of the gig and knocked her up.  So he's got that going for him.  But probably not for much longer.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:39 | 1375756 knukles
knukles's picture

Humma Beduin is not a hot chick.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 20:34 | 1376291 PuppetRepubl1c
PuppetRepubl1c's picture

agreed, i don't see why everyone thinks she is attractive.  I will take an american girl with nice boobs over a muslim with no chest anyday.


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:20 | 1376358 prole
prole's picture

Au contraire, mon frère knuckle.

Old n busted: Hugh Heffeir's social climbing siliconcistas.
Th new hotness: Hillary's smokin hot slender Islamic hottie.

And if Wiener was piping up about mon*****, and they Dominiqued him for that, then we should all be weeping.


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:59 | 1376566 Freddie
Freddie's picture

She is gross.  She makes camels look good and Weiner is no prize.  "Ain't no way" that Kosher tiny gerkin was in the camel driver's daughter.  She is a Hillary's gal all the way.  Sh*t - Hillary has bad taste in women like Bill, Obama.  At least Tipper Gore was decent before she got really fat like her GW scamming hubby.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:25 | 1375537 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

If You Tweet Your Meat, You Lose Your Seat.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:26 | 1375542 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

3 week diversion. I'd say TPTB got some mileage out of him.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:31 | 1375544 P-K4
P-K4's picture

Say what you will about Wiener, but how does a young, beautiful woman like Huma get hooked up with him ? Like Hillary had no access to the Washington social circle or detailed personal files that she should send her only aide to the dog(s) ? The real story is Huma and I'm willing to bet she ain't prego (unless she received some advice from Bill while Hillary was away).

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:30 | 1375554 aldousd
aldousd's picture

Weiner lasted just 4 minutes.


And there you have it folks, the single congressman Weiner joke that will last forever. It will live on in late night monologue infamy. And the rest will be forgotten.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:45 | 1375606 mynhair
mynhair's picture

He's teaming up with Jane Seymore on MSLSD.  The "Seymore Weiner" show.


h/t Schnitt

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 20:02 | 1375607 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Of course he took pictures of his dick..

What else was he going to say?

It was predictive programming like "Dick" Cheney, "Dick" Bove and "Dick" Nixon...

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 15:59 | 1375650 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

Huma has to carry the family water now because he has zero skills.

Not that she has any skills either, but she is with Hillary now, so jobs abound.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:01 | 1375661 7.62X39SteelCore
7.62X39SteelCore's picture

It should be obvious by now but perhaps it's worth repeating....they only make it there (fill in your favorite politcal "power" office) because they have exploitable flaws

When it becomes expedient, that flaw is exploited.  Weiner boy was distracting no doubt, resisting the urge to say "false flag lol", but why was his ticket punched now? 

Anyway, hope you get some help dude. 

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:16 | 1375874 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 21:29 | 1376374 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

ding ding ding. i think we have a wiener.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:12 | 1375678 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Washington political life is terribly superficial with many conflicts and cross currents created within individual value systems that leads to perverse actions in an attempt to rationalize ones existance. I feel sorry for Wiener, he had it all, including a beautiful wife, but could not live normally with all the conflicts of a modern society built on contradictions. I hope he works it out with family and friends and is resurrected in some way. As for his critics, it is time to redirect your attention to the root cause of our failing society and family breakdown.  As a  man, for the grace of fate, it could have been you. As woman, you could have been Huma or Hillary.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 23:13 | 1376588 Freddie
Freddie's picture


Get a clue. He is a scumbag.  His "wife" is a lesbian and she looks like one of her father's camels.   Does Hillary put a bag over her head?

"As for his critics, it is time to redirect your attention to the root cause of our failing society and family breakdown." 

This is in the Democrat Party's platform.  To promote tearing down society and destroying the family.  

Where do these idiots on ZH come from?  The senior center that launched Weiner's "career?"



Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:17 | 1375690 gwar5
gwar5's picture

"Weiner pulls out"

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:41 | 1375758 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

I think it's time for this story to peter out, although it's good that the press is being hard on him, since he is such a tool. He will face some stiff challenges in the near future, but will probably form his own caucus.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 16:50 | 1375781 Battleaxe
Battleaxe's picture

Headline of the year:

Before Weiner's official announcement, Nancy Pelosi wouldn't say anything to the press regarding his phone call to her the night before.

"Nancy Pelosi Tight Lipped on Weiner"


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:04 | 1375841 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

+++ and not even a botox joke...  gag!

Sad to see the shithead, and the comedy he brings, go.


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:15 | 1375869 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Weiner was too cocky for his own good

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 17:22 | 1375890 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Weiner goes limp and gives in to pressure. What a tool that asshat is.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:11 | 1375972 Plata con Carne
Plata con Carne's picture

He deserves to be be kicked out, IMO, one of the girls he was sexting was underage. 

Get your own Weiner Action Figure; makes a great gift!


Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:30 | 1376017 Joey Big Balls
Joey Big Balls's picture

What a schmoe! Probably sent her arse pics and a good old Buffalo Bill Tuck. 




Thu, 06/16/2011 - 18:49 | 1376045 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

No More Hot Dogs ...Bitchez.

...this boys out to lunch and half past ate.

The boy can never duck the Weiner, he'll get hit by at least one of the hot dogs people start to throw at him if he ever goes to the Ball Park, Frankly speaking, Barney.

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 20:18 | 1376255 gall batter
gall batter's picture

this is a stupid non-story, deserving of five minutes primetime and, then, the resignation.  we have more about which to worry than a wiener tweet.  the sky is falling, for real.  

Thu, 06/16/2011 - 22:48 | 1376531 tawdzilla
tawdzilla's picture

Put a fork in weiner.

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