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What Do You Value Most in Life?
Before I delve into my latest topic, just want to mention that I added some more absolute return managers to my last comment on the Quebec Absolute Return Fund. As I've stated repeatedly, Montreal has many excellent portfolio managers in both the long-only and absolute return space.
On Thursday, I hooked up again with Pierre Malo, my supervisor when I was working at PSP Investments who is now consulting and working at Jean Turmel's Perseus Fund. The last time we met up for lunch, we discussed process over performance. Pierre is one of the rare good guys I've met in finance. He had to let me go from PSP and I still love meeting up with him, which should tell you a lot. Once again, our conversation touched finance and life:
- Upon greeting me, Pierre told me I look good and told him I feel great, both physically and mentally. Going to gym helps but something about turning 40 last week which made me realize life is way too short to expend my mental and emotional capital on people who drag me down. I also realize that I'm too good with others because that's my nature, but if they don't reciprocate, then I'm wasting my time (one trader explained it to me like this: think about it as a trade where you're initially making money but then it goes against you. At one point, you got cut your losses or else you won't have any emotional capital left)
- We then ordered our food. Pierre ordered the tuna salad and I stuck with my salmon and asparagus. We ordered some white wine to wash it down -- lots of it! (It's fun letting loose, drinking it up once in a while, especially with a former boss who you got along with on a professional and more importantly, personal level)
- Corporate governance was a topic we talked a lot about today. According to Pierre, while shareholders are informed of corporate compensation, they can't vote on it. This means that whether you're a small investor or a large institutional investor, you can't influence compensation at large corporations. The board of directors vote on compensation and these boards are typically stuffed with former corporate hacks looking to repay favors.
- Pierre calls this the "agency problem," where there is a separation between the owners of a company and the managers. He rightly notes that a stock price can be going up for all sorts of reasons (like the sector is in favor) and it's ridiculous to vote in high compensation based on share price appreciation. "There is a huge element of luck involved".
- On my piece on the Quebec Absolute Return Fund, he told me something critical was missing: "what's the risk they're willing to tolerate to generate T-bills + 5%?".
- We then talked about the Osama bin Laden "conspiracy theories" and both dismissed them. Why are there no pictures? Where's the proof? Who cares? All we need are pictures of bin Laden with bullets in his head so some idiots can add fuel to the fire and ensure massive retaliation (just cause bin Laden is dead doesn't mean al-Qaeda ceases to exist)
- I remarked that the world is changing faster than ever. The one thing that worries us both is growing income inequality -- the great divide. We talked about how Bill Gates at least created his foundation and is giving away his wealth for good causes, but there is little political will to tackle the issue of income inequality. Politicians are basically looking out for themselves not the middle class, and certainly not for the working poor.
- That brought us onto a whole other discussion on work and values. I told him that it bugs me seeing civil servants who have the luxury of having guaranteed jobs whine about their working conditions and counting the days till they retire so they can collect a big fat pension while people like my 80 year-old father still work full eight hour days seeing psychiatric patients. But it also bugs me seeing how greedy people in finance are and how they use you as long as you have something to offer them.
- Our society is obsessed with money and things. We measure people by their net worth. It's sad but true. And all for what? Go back to read my comment on turning 40. Andrew Lahde said it best: "I will let others try to amass nine, 10 or 11 figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck . . . What is the point? They will all be forgotten in 50 years anyway. Steve Ballmer [Microsoft chief executive], Steven Cohen [founder of hedge fund SAC Capital] and Larry Ellison [chief executive of Oracle] will all be forgotten.”
- I bring that last point up because over at Zero Hedge some people thought I was all gun-ho about hedge funds in my last comment. I shared my thoughts on hedge funds:
I've allocated to the best hedge funds all over the world. I don't get all hot & horny over hedge funds and know that it's a tough business. Some of the richest and happiest guys I've met in Montreal are anonymous prop traders you've never heard about. They manage their own millions and do not answer to any institutional investor. If I had a choice of collecting 2 & 20 and the stress of managing a hedge fund (including all the marketing bullshit, RFPs, stupid institutional managers breathing down your neck) or managing my own portfolio, I'd opt for the latter. There is way too much hype about the glory of managing a hedge fund. Trust me, it's not as easy or as glorious as it seems.
And that elicited this response:
Leo, if money can buy happiness then it is beyond glorious. The hedgies/VC guys I know spend their spare time (and lots of it) jetting between their various homes, yachts etc. and when bored they buy more real estate and build ever bigger castles while pursuing various interests eg art, car racing, yacht racing, exotic cars etc. I also know guys who run their own book some of whom are structured to deploy their own as well as others capital sometimes in partnership with pro money guys.
- Wow, it sounds exciting jetting across the world between all their beautiful homes, car racing, yacht racing, etc., but I'm reminded of the wise words from my 80 year old father who's seen many rich and poor patients suffering from mental illness: "Leo, I know you don't like listening to your father, but when it comes to money and sex, only too much is enough".
- These are all things and things shouldn't define you as a person. I asked Pierre whether he's truly happy and he said yes. I then asked him if he lost everything, would he still be happy. He told me everything but his wife who he loves deeply (good answer!).
- I then shared a secret with him: "You know I was making very good money at PSP but towards the end, I hated the job. It was like a cancer eating away at me from the inside. I hated the politics of the place but I don't hate anyone there. I'm just very disappointed with some people." He understood exactly what I meant.
- We talked about different people and I told him flat out how some people disappoint me. There are lots of people who talk the talk but few walk the walk. I started accepting donations on my blog last week and very few people stepped up to the plate and actually donated to support my effort. I'm also disappointed with some people who I helped when they were down and out looking for work, personally delivering their resume to presidents and CIOs of pension funds and yet when I ask them to keep and eye out for me, total silence. Talk is cheap! Actions always speak louder than words.
- Having said this, quite a few people have contributed to my blog. One senior pension fund manager who contributed $500 shared this comment with me after I thanked him (I thank all those who contribute any amount, big or small, because it's the thought that counts):
Your product is quite useful (and entertaining), and should simply be valued accordingly. No need for any special thank you. I have casually suggested within my organization that we consider a more substantive contribution, but its best to let various others appreciate the value of what you are doing on their own timetable.
- And here is what one former colleague of mine had to share after graciously donating $100:
I had dinner at Baton Rouge tonight with my wife and me three kids. When I saw the bill, I nearly fell off of my chair. I came back home, feeling dumb about wasting all that money, I went on your blog to read your articles. I went to read your 40-20 article. It was like a fresh breeze. Through your own experience, you are trying hard to remind all of us in the finance world about the true priorities in life. I call this exercise the re-normalization of money-addicted individuals. Call it a medicine but some of your articles are like drugs helping our brains to remember that true things in life can't be bought with money. As you can see, this small donation is like buying drugs at the pharmacy... and it brings me much relief to offset this stupid dinner I had tonight. Cheers my friend.
- When I think of all the good people I met in finance, I can count them on one hand. My ex-boss Pierre is one of them and so is this guy who is currently looking for work and still was decent enough to donate his hard earned money to support my venture. I remember something profound this person told me in his office one day: "They can take away your title, take away your job, but they can never take away what you have in your heart and in between your ears." That advice always stuck with me.
Finally, Pierre let me know about people he admires, great Canadians like Terry Fox and Rick Hansen, people who overcame adversity to teach us that we can do anything once we set our mind to it. Then Pierre told me he admires me. I said: "Me?!? What's to admire about me? I'm just a blogger who has MS. I don't even consider myself disabled." He replied: "You should be proud of your accomplishments. You write about important and sometimes contentious topics. You dedicate yourself to sharing this information with the public. And you're a fighter. That's very admirable."
Thank you my friend, I appreciate your support and look forward to our next lunch.
***Feedback***
I like what a friend from Chicago sent me:
''To live around those we love; to care for and do the little things that magnify courteousness, empathy, and considerateness: those are the things that (to me at least) matter. If we are blessed with doing something that we enjoy and at the same time paying our bills, what more could one hope for?''
Couldn't have said it better myself. Focus on helping others and you'll
find inner happiness. And finally, this George Carlin quote from a man
who declared bankruptcy because his 20 year old son was diagnosed with
paranoid schizophrenia:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
The man was not in a position to donate to my blog but his email and the quote above are priceless.
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handsome family SD
http://bit.ly/lS1mHk
LOL
Now I understand CD's love of his porn collection.
Wisdom. Love of life @ 80.
Good stuff, Leo.
Go stuff Leo
...there fixed your typos
The pragmatists would probably first mention "survival".... things like foodstuffs and health.... after all, how can you be happy if the premises of your "life" aren't met? You know, that old stuff about the pyramid.
And to be honest, i do think that this ranking of priorities actually applies to most people.
I'm not one of them. I would rather lose loved ones, lose luxury, lose comfort, lose safety, lose everything including my own life (and i DID sacrifice some of those things).... IF and WHEN it is the only way to sustain something else....
What something else? There are many terms that describe aspects of it..... yet no established term fully describes it.... the "incomplete" terms are integrity, honesty, fairness, selfresponsibility, selfautonomy, and so on....
I simply describe it with "truthfulness", with which i do mean "integrity", but not just inwards but additionally also outwards: Internal and external consistency, instead of corruption.
Your drive to convey your conviction and thoughts led you to create a new word. Perhaps because our language and culture lacks a word to convey what you are trying to express.
Hebrew has a word/concept of 'Shalom" or wholeness. It implies peace, completeness, and welfare.
I suspect your truthiness is the opposite of complicity. I have the same conviction that health, prosperity, loved ones, etc are insufficient to make up for complicity.
Nazi guards may have had all those temporal things, but I suspect they had trouble sleeping while they were alive, and after death it most certainly got worse for them due to their complicity with evil.
nazi guards didn't have any issues, certainly not with this hindsight morality that we impose backward in time onto them.
So if you had a serious debilitating disease, you think Truthiness will make life valuable?
I don't think you have ever been seriously ill, in great pain for long periods of time, or gone undiagnosed with a malady for months until it was too late.
My wife, our children, our families and our friends...everything else is gravy.
Think about it. If you had very poor health, where you couldn't enjoy the things your family and friends and children want to do, you'd still choose them over your physical well-being?
I'd believe that IF you had been in danger of losing your health in your life, a long term illness that threatened severe curtailment of all the the activities you could participate in with the human beings in your life, and the onus it places upon them to deal with it you might rethink your priorities.
Hey asshole he didn't tell Leo what he should value. He listed the things he values. Quit trying to think for others. Each person values different things in life that is what makes us individuals. If you want to be apart of a single collective, which values the same thing you certainly have ended up at the right blog.
I really don't wish it on you, amigo, but you obviously have taken your health very much for granted. Some day, should you ever lose it, you will eat your words about what is most valued and prized on this earth, and with the exception of you, no one will argue with.
If you'd rather have colon cancer though, instead of being able to eliminate waste the natural way, be my guest. If you think Cerebral palsy is cool, then I guess you're fairly remarkable.
If I were you, I'd take a real big step back and think about what troubles practically everyone but you apparently, and has been a favorite platform for practically every one regardless of political party and why 75% of the country wants desperately to have it: their health insurance paid for.
I guess I am telling you what to think and value in this one respect. You do well to heed it. Otherwise you appear to be a drooling ewe.
Lots of words. Let me put my life into perspective for you. My wife, a perfectly healthy woman, had 4 miscarriages before we had our two beautiful children. I would trade my health and my life for those two kids. A little perspective. Life goes on even after you stop gracing the face of the Earth. I slipped a disk in my back when I turned 39 and the world didn't stop. I had to get up every day and take care of my two kids. My wife and I have no support. Healthy or not healthy life goes on, you either choose to push yourself or lay in bed dying.
Taking advice from an anonymous know it all on the Internet would be my last choice for today. But I will take your words under consideration Jesus.
IF you trade your health for your kids you aren't doing them any favors. Your life? That's whole lot different, because you won't be around to suffer.
And temporary health problems are not what I am referring to. Doing your duty while ill, playing hurt isn't what I meant either. The qeustion is what does one VALUE most. If all you've ever had to contend with is a slipped disk, you are indeed very fortunate. You don't know the meaning of serious illness. I hope you never do.
Yes, life goes on. And one day as I said, if you ever become permanently seriously ill, you will wish for good health once again, above all FIRST if you can get it back, and know and remember that without your health, you are going to suffer as will all those who depend on you.
I hope in the meantime that you take good care of your health every day.
Your kids and your wife will have you around a lot longer, and be no burden on them.
How do you know? Do you think I am going to waste anymore of my time spilling personal information out to you on the Internet? I don't need to justify or defend a position because I never came on the Internet telling other how they should think or feel.
You are the one who feels that the world without your existence, or hallowed opinions, would self destruct. If I die tomorrow the world will go on. I am nobody, except to my children and my spouse. I know they will survive because we have been tough times, planned accordingly, and pulled together as a family in the past.
You can not change what happens in life, so why waste it. If you have wasted it, you spend all your time when you are sick looking back and regretting what you should have done. You grow sour, judgemental and opinionated.
If you didn't waste it you have good memories to keep you company while you are laid up. If you are going to die; make peace with whatever religious or non-religious ideals you believe in, and press on till the end.
BTW, you are more then welcome to have the last word. I am done with our conversation.
Only a relatively healthy person would even think that their health is not the most valuable 'thing' on earth. If you ask someone in seriously ill health what is most important, I don't think you'd have to tell him how to think and feel. He'd do just about anything to get his health back, realizes how powerless it is to be completely dependent on someone else.
You have a problem with other people telling you how to think and feel. I'd guess you're that was about everything, not just what is most valuable.
I can't say I blame you. It's your life and you should be free to screw it up any way you want. Live and let live.
I wish you well, and I mean in spite of our difference on this subject, I do hope you take GREAT care of yourself. Now and for as long as you live.
I know I said I would give you the last word, and I shall. However, I feel the need to clear away my own stink.
First, the intention of my last post was not to tell anyone how to feel. Each person will deal with life, sickness, and the end of life as they see fit. Again, personal choice. My observations are based on how several of my family members have dealt, or are dealing, with their last days on this Earth. I would like to strive to deal with my end of days as courageous as some of my family members. I may not achieve this. Others in my family have not dealt, or are not dealing, with their end as stoic. Do I judge them harshly for this? No. Some had prolonged demises, others went quick, and still others are among the living.
Second, I never said health is an insignificant attribute. I attacked you because, like an all knowing parent, you assumed your opinion was more valid then those expressed by the original poster. You may have some personal experience with serious illness that clouds your judgement, but do you not think each person is entitled to make a decision on what is important in their lives? From your last post, I believe you do? I may be wrong, but I am sure health in not far from the top of any one's list, if not their personal pinnacle.
Third, yes I have a great loathing for assumed authority. Especially in this day and age where soulless, bombastic individuals are making decisions, which effect the security and stability of my children's future. In the name of greed, power, and "every one's best interest" these individuals, usurp our freedom, and are willing to pull down the pillars of a great nation and rebuild it in their own perverse likeness. Is this something new? No. However, I am alive now.
Fourth, I apologize for lashing out in my original post. Sugar is not my normal delicacy as vinegar usually settles most arguments here on ZH.
Finally, if your sentiment is genuine, I also wish you health, peace and happiness.
It's indeed genuine, thanks for taking another minute to clear the air.
One thing I value somewhere in my personal top ten is a very 'thick mental skin'. So your lashing out was somewhat expected in the sense that I am always prepared that my words might really piss someone off. No worries on that score.
And yes, my personal experience with my health has been a life long issue. Medical screwups by top rated physicians lasting years, and then permanent damage.
I coded twice and have some familiarity with confronting death head on, and surprisingly it was uneventful, no white lights and portals to heaven. Just a confused sense that, "This is how stupidly it all ends? What a waste."
From those episodes, and beginning in childhood when i couldn't do what other kids did, I (and still more fervently than ever do) knew how much life is impossible to deal with and would always trade everything for damned good health. Bar none.
So much of our life is, of course, based on our personal experiences, as it should be. But there is the axiom that states that you don't need to put your hand in the fire to know that it will burn you. Others have gone before you to prove it. Many times I wish I could learn more from the experience of others to avoid making the same errors in judgment, the same nearly fatal mistakes that universally apply. But it appears that many if not all of us make the same mistakes over and over again. Improvement being a very tough goal to achieve.
Chacun au son gout.
I subscribe to the guy from australia and his FFT economic newsletter at http://www.forecastfortomorrow.com that guy has called many big events before they have happend, including the stock market crash in 2008 and the current financial collapse of the US. (currently happening) I found him from a friend last year, and he has some important work.
he thinks pension funds will be a thing of the past soon, and gone all together. THAT IS EFFING SCARY TO THINK ABOUT.
His oil calls are insane, and I have been making good money with them. He is well worth a look, if you want to keep two steps ahead of the sheeple out there.
I am worried about my financial future. Is anyone else nervous out there?
...Spam much?
I hope he can pay the electricity bill of his computer with his spamming
what was it? 5 cents per post? :)
but it's sad to see these morons for the yahoo board are really flocking ZH so much.
Conan! What is best in life?
lol thats exactly what popped into my thoughts..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBGOQ7SsJrw
Damn, I came in this thread specifically to post that.
Oh well, here's the clip anyways:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc
I almost read this, then I remembered I highly value my time.
Almost read what?
I just look at comments to see who attached mostly-nekkid girl pictures. None here so far...total waste of my time.
Back to popcorn, beer and watching silver bounce back...
People like you shouldn't waste their time reading things that are beyond their grasp.
Yes recaps of 60 minutes and guys who fired you that you still like are beyond my grasp. What's also beyond my grasp is why these things are posted on ZH.
Really? You don't come to ZH for the latest myopic views on the Canadian public pension schemes, and for the existential musings of keynesian apologists?
Children -- your jealous indignation is causing you to drool. It is not very becoming.
+1