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What DSK's Escape From Harlem NYPD Will Look (And Sound) Like

Tyler Durden's picture


We decided to round off this weekend's barrage of surrealist news with some comedy. This is what some expect the imminent escape from Harlem NYPD by the IMF head will look and sound like (and there were those who said Raj Raj is a flight risk).


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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:04 | 1278116 hognutz
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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:57 | 1278209 jaffi
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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:07 | 1278225 asdasmos
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Gold is our largest position: PIMCO’s equities manager


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:18 | 1278235 Harlequin001
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Taken in context that was side splittingly funny...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:50 | 1278324 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

looked like a legitimate parking technique!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 06:49 | 1278440 indio007
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You gots a pretty mouth boy....

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:06 | 1278121 disabledvet
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toast.  with marmelade.  or is it Marmaduke?  either/or or either/way--even the Raj is doing time.  they should have lots to talk about--weekend at Bernie's and all...and beyond!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:08 | 1278124 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I've seen that clip before, it was funny.  You have to wonder why this guy the head of IMF get burned on something like this, especially since most of the funding for the IMF comes from the US.  Could there be something that was going to happen and the powers that be decided to use what they knew against him. 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:22 | 1278236 Harlequin001
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It is highly probable that he's done it before and always gotten away with it...

Obviously, he didn't expect this.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:54 | 1278333 uhb
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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 05:25 | 1278408 m43cap
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The guy's French. It's normal behaviour for us "Europeans" .

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:10 | 1279003 knowless
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the only real option for setup would be he calls his trusted pimp who got payed off in advance to not send anyone, and instead call in the maid, let her get burned and it looks natural. more likely he's just a rapist..

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:09 | 1278126 Zodiac
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A raper-banker,  why is this so unusual?  The US has thousands running free and not under arrest.  Let's start with Hank Paulson,  Ben Bernanke, Turbo Timmy and go down the list and get them all arrested and charged with rape of the US taxpayer. 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:53 | 1278207 chunga
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I can see it already. Raper bankers will just make up a new MERS subsidiary that streamlines processing their rapes. Judges won't care if they always lose or falsify all the evidence. There are plenty of MERS citations out there - look it up. 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:06 | 1278292 old naughty
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Strange gets stranger...raperclosure.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 04:38 | 1278390 capitallosses
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I'm sure his version will be that he is just an everyday raper-banker and he was just trying to grab her wallet from behind and had no intention of sexually molesting her.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:13 | 1278131 Korrath
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I really hope that motorcycle cop had a change of fresh underwear in his locker back at the station.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:21 | 1278240 Harlequin001
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or that hew was wearing his standard issue shit proof pants...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:22 | 1278243 Harlequin001
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maybe he was wearing his Kenny Everett legs...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:20 | 1278148 palmereldritch
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Interesting choice of a tunnel motif there

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:20 | 1278149 DoChenRollingBearing
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Mofcuck ain't gonna escape.

If he does, that is PROOF POSITIVE that the BitchElite is AGAINST us...

Prepare accordingly...  Gold and the means to defend yourselves...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:34 | 1278169 HamyWanger
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"Prepare accordingly...  Gold and the means to defend yourselves..."

Gold won't help you against superior armed opponents, whether they are from the government or from splinter groups.  

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:37 | 1278184 Jasper M
Jasper M's picture

Thus the additional clause "and the means to defend yourselves". Which sadly, turns out to be 

(drum roll, please)

 . . . . . 

(wait for it!)

. . . .  

A GOVERNMENT! battened fat upon TAXES!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:27 | 1278247 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

I always regarded a financial plan that required your ultimate demise to be seriously flawed...

Just sayin'...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:26 | 1278305 DoChenRollingBearing
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Guns might help some, stealthily placed and how many join in the resistance...

Depending of course on how things work out...  You never know, point to you.

If it comes to that: Come and get it bitchez...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:36 | 1278175 jimcg
jimcg's picture

The Masters of the Universe never go to Serf prison.

They own the Board and use their "get out of jail free" cards.

And so, it is written.



Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:36 | 1278182 bankonzhongguo
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DSK and Roman Polanski.

Thanks France.

This only means that Satan will step into the IMF to save the day.

Hats off to the NYPD, who actually stopped an alleged rapist from escaping investigation and possible prosecution in real time.

Let this be a lesson to the CTFC, SEC and DOJ about 'serving and protecting' the public and (joke) markets.

Think of the change in markets if just one prime US banker was made an example of.

Camera stellata bitchez!


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:46 | 1278190 JR
JR's picture

This is big news and nowhere could the details be as properly contexted as on Zero Hedge.

Thanks for a little down home comedy to windup the day.  As P.G. Wodehouse said in The Man with Two Left Feet: “Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect."

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:43 | 1278191 Monedas
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With all his IMF Gold for Nepal and Haiti.....and all the FRNs he gets paid - can't he just buy sex like the rest of us ? Monedas 2011 They'll blame the "Whistle Blower" !

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:28 | 1278248 Harlequin001
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Maybe that particular young lady wasn't on the game...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:43 | 1278192 Bubbles...bubbl...
Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

That's what you get for saying that China's economy will overtake the US in five years. You wouldn't believe a rapist, would you?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:54 | 1278201 BlackholeDivestment
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Video proves the cops are as dumb as the criminals.

Here's an old classic

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:46 | 1278254 Harlequin001
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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:40 | 1278259 Harlequin001
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Good job they highlighted which car it was, I would hate to have missed that...

Clearly pissed, he's on the wrong side of the road...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 00:55 | 1278205 carbonmutant
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And John Lipsky said, " I would like to thank the members of the IMF and Dominique Strauss-Kahn for this opportunity...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:06 | 1278220 Oh regional Indian
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Jokes apart, this is all a part of the great un-ravelling.

Only a very few at the top are "safe" as it were. I think many high-flyers are not as safe as they thought they were/are.

It's going to get more and more and more twisted and interesting going from here.


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:14 | 1278295 old naughty
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Bump a few off...There are not enough seats on the exit-craft.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:09 | 1278226 Monedas
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How did this "French Devil" get the hyphenated German last name ? It reminds me of Brazil's "Heinrich Santos" and Japan's "Hirohito O'toole" or Americas's "Barry Obama" ! Monedas 2011

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:20 | 1278303 Vlad Tepid
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Hirohito O'Toole.  That one produced a chuckle.  I needed that today.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:20 | 1278237 nasa
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I was expecting Chopper Ben to fire up the loud speakers and air-lift DSK to safety

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:26 | 1278249 Clowns on Acid
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Methinks that Lloyd the Squid will be having the TSA filtering his ho's before he take off his kneesocks and gets into the tackling position.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:37 | 1278260 Peter K
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I'm shocked, shocked that a leftist pol would get arrested for something banal as rape. After all, his 'transgression' is somewhere between John "Two Shags" Prescott groping his secretary and Bill "You might want to put some ice on that lip" Clinton raping Juanita Brodderick.  Aren't liberal women just supposed to grin and "bare" it?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:43 | 1278265 Plata con Carne
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I think it was a set up. Dude was flyin first class, $3,000 room...He would've dialed up the concierge for some prime punanny. He didn't need to grab a 32 year old maid. 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 04:54 | 1278395 latcho
latcho's picture

I agree, setup.


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 01:59 | 1278286 Guy Fawkes Mulder
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Yakety Sax, bitchez!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 02:41 | 1278321 ArsoN
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put him in gen pop!


make it into a reality show.  

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 03:03 | 1278340 mt paul
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what a looser..

for a couple large 

could have had a taste 

of new yorks finest ..

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 03:28 | 1278353 Ted K
Ted K's picture

No Probs.  I heard he's already got Roman Polanski lined up as a character witness.  If she was underage, then it's a double barrel shotgun approach, Woody Allen. If that fails, then they're calling in the heavy artillery: Every single Catholic priest who has been transferred from a parish since 1975.  By the time the priests are done giving testimony for Kahn's character in 3070, statute of limitations will have passed.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 03:34 | 1278358 A Man without Q...
A Man without Qualities's picture

While we are busy laughing at the rogue Dick from France, the Japanese are using distraction to quietly admit the Fukushima reality can no longer be hidden - this is the elephant in the room...

Three containment vessels are breached, and whilst they have no idea how they will fix it, they are confident they can stick to the timescales.


Anyway, back to the blowjob....

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 03:46 | 1278362 ebworthen
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Isn't that all like the Greek and PIIGS and U.S. debt?

Just ignore it and minimize perception and reality will follow (well, for a little while anyway, as much as perception is reality).

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 05:29 | 1278409 Stormdancer
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It's getting better still.  Temperature at the top of reactor 3's pressure vessel has been rising the past few days in spite of repeated increases in the amount of water being injected.

In the 24 hours preceeding 5:00am 15 May, temp rose 46.5 degrees (C) to 297 degrees.

Hats off to EX-SKF once more for translating this stuff that never seems to make it to the english versions of these news websites.

Oh, they're adding boron again due to fears of potential re-criticality.  Sounds like #3 may be taking another liesurely walk down the melt-down trail.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 07:21 | 1278466 A Man without Q...
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I'm not a huge fan of Marketwatch, but I have been unable to find any other Western media outlets mentioning this recent release.  It's almost like there's an agreement if they are supplied juicy stories, they will ignore the slow death of Japan...


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 03:40 | 1278361 ebworthen
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Brit cops without guns; almost funny to see them hitting the car with little batons.

That is where a good .45 would come in handy, blow out a tire or the windshield and the dolt will think twice about hitting the accelerator again; the motorcycle cop or an innocent bystander could have easily been crippled or killed.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 05:05 | 1278399 NumberNone
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Hey everyone, make sure you watch Al Gore on "Off shore wind capacity to explode" on May 13th.  Check your local channels. 

Also, just saw a very cute commercial for Turkish Airlines with Kobe Bryant.  Loved it!!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 05:43 | 1278400 Pretorian
Pretorian's picture

Strauss arrest is complete setup for dummys. He didnt listen to American's to stop financialy supporting busted EU countries and he never had intent to stop with IMF money since he is European. Now the path is clear.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 05:04 | 1278402 Romanzo
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Festival de Khan!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 06:05 | 1278417 Lucius_Junius_Brutus
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Rule 34 anyone?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:36 | 1279112 MayIMommaDogFac...
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PPV only -- after basketball is over.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 06:10 | 1278421 writingsonthewall
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Is this the US security forces stepping in and doing what the Governement is too chicken to do and stand up to the bankers?

I say we are part of the Rebel alliance and traitors.....take us away.


The fightback against the Imperial Monetary Fund has begun - we will depose the Emporer and hunt down Lord Vader and bring him to justice.

This does seem a lot of effort for the US to not pay the EU - they could just refuse to - they could even use the old excuse of "the debt ceiling" and stop paying their IMF dues.....oh wait...I forgot if they stop paying then the whole Ponzi scheme collapses!


Maybe the scheme is over and this is just a way of Khan having his 'madoff moment'. Something big is happening - this is not a coincidence.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 06:34 | 1278431 TerraHertz
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This all started when the maid asked him if he liked her lip gloss.

He thought she said 'lip greece'.

The rest was inevitable.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 06:52 | 1278441 writingsonthewall
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What I find amazing is that any video put to Benny Hill becomes hillarious.

Check out this one - student riots UK - suddenly seems less violent and more comedic.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:39 | 1279129 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Love Benny Hill, but give credit where it is due:

ht/Guy Fawkes Mulder for first mention...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 07:01 | 1278442 Franken_Stein
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Steve Schwarzman Headed to Paris


Published: Monday, 6 Dec 2010 | 10:08 AM ET ...

"Schwarzman has close ties to France.

He knows French President Nicolas Sarkozy well, the source said. He was awarded the Legion d'honneur by former French President Jacques Chirac, according to Blackstone's website," Davies writes. "Blackstone has an office in the center of Paris, close to the Louvre and the Jardin des Tuileries." Does anyone know why Chirac, a noted critic of "Anglo-American capitalism," awarded Schwarzman the Legion d'honneur?


Mon, 05/16/2011 - 07:02 | 1278445 spanish inquisition
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Funny stuff, but this is a job for Snake Plisskin.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 07:03 | 1278451 writingsonthewall
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I thought he was dead.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 08:59 | 1278701 Fix It Again Timmy
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He still is getting room service...

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