This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
"Why The World Is Better Than You Think"
For all zombied Goldman clients who are still not sick of guaranteeding the firm profitable trading days 63 out of 63 days each quarter, this is the conference call for you. And yes, this is real.
We can't wait for the next call in the sequence: "Why Goldman Is Much Less Of A Criminal Than You Think"
»
- 11025 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
My dealer never makes me fill out a form.
But how does one sign this contract with one's own blood, when it can only be completed online?
Or has GS now invented "paper blood" too?
(I wonder, can I pay them with a "paper firstborn" as well?)
e-blood to buy an ipad. or maxi pad
"Thank you for joining us. The first thing we need to do on this conference call is to clarify the title. It was supposed to read:
'Why OUR world is better than you think'
Sorry about that."
No, no, no. The presumption is that everything that is is already theirs. Back to work, slave!
Tyler - how is Marla?
The rainbow tastes like puppy dogs.
See Goldman Sachs, I, too, can say totally random things that make no sense.
I like your unicorn ranch.
I've got Tulips for sale!
Along with Good Feelings and Sunsets!
One metric fuck ton for anything you happen to have.
I'll give you two of them for a Clear Crystal Ball!
Tulips... Bitches!!!
all the above replies to cheeky are actual titles to Thomas Friedman articles.
Its like Goldman Sacs has change their logo to a pic of Jim Cramer...Cramer Sacs...nice branding guys...
Doing God's work makes the world a better place, for partners.
Why would any customer do any business w/ GS is beyond me. JPM for that matter.
63 for 63 is approaching Madoff numbers but not quite. Madoff was 63 wins for 0 at bats.
You know, GS may be doing "God's work" as they claim --- but they never told us just WHICH god it is whose work they are doing!
I am guessing Shiva.
More like Kali Ma. That bitch is kuh-RAZY!
because it's sexy to be eaten by THE vampire...
How do I sign up?
creat fictional e-mail adress
GS contact: David Viniar
Company: some-bucket-shop-from-Missouri
Hey there Cheeky, don't pick on us hard headed, show-me state mules.
Punk:
Youre kidding right? (Almost) no Main Streeters allowed.
Where do you keep the drugs, Goldman?
I cant say where they keep the stash now, I can only hope that soon, they will have to keester them into a club Fed facility after multiple convictions based on evidence uncovered by the SEC and a vigorous prosecution with no deals by a US attorney.
(sarcasm off) Its a shame when a situation like that lives only in fantasy, when it would merely the result of our govt officials just doing their sworn duty and haeven forbid, actually earn a paycheck.
All we need now is Lord Blankfein to fly in on a purple unicorn pooping Skittles and the "trip" would be complete.
Daddy, what color does he poop?
All the colors of the rainbow, son. All the colors of the rainbow.
(Sigh.....)
Why does Lord Blankfiend always have that funny smile, Daddy? He must be very happy.
Daddy, maybe some day can I poop rainbows over everybody too?
(Sigh.....)
One might assume that Lord Blankfein was showing a little humility when he uttered that the Squid was doing God's work. The presumption is that the Squid are God's servants, but there are a couple of possibilities to be considered:
God is actually now the servant to the Squid (no doubt after a Squid arranged leveraged financing of Heaven to unlock the intrinsic value of the Pearly Gates), but the Squid is doing his work for some reason or another (Perhaps they think they can do it better?).
It could also be that the Squid is the earthly embodiment of Satan, who after all is by the dint of his station as the antithesis of God thereby also doing God's work.
In any event, the presumption is that the world ... nay, the Universe, belongs to the Squid, and that is why it is better than you might think.
"Lord Blankfein was showing a little humility when he uttered that the Squid was doing God's work."
But God Got Even
As Lloyd B. God whined that statement out in a nasally, midget-y, Morey Amsterdam voice that annoys the ear like a mosquito whine...
How can you take a guy seriously as a "Titan of Industry" when he sounds like a 5 foot vaudevillian carnival freak show barker hawking the 3 Card Monte stand?
Problem is:
You got it. I have wasted enough time listening to his testimony before Congress.
What could he possibly say that I would possibly believe. I have other ways to use my precious time, like have a nightcap and go to bed.
He demonstrates who he is by his works. IMO, if this is actually going to be Blankfein, he is runnig scared.
Lloyd's nasally voice is proof that GS is a meritocracy of thieves. There is no way someone who sounds like kermit the frog on helium gets CEO unless he can rake in the bux.
Meanwhile EUR slips down to 1.2624.
I like how you selected Greece from the dropdown before grabbing the screenshot...nice touch!
"profitable trading days 63 out of 63 days each quarter"
What I'd like to know is if GS/JPM made money last Thursday?
LMFAO - even while gold goes straight up against the dollar moving parabollic against euro, someone didn't seem to notice that our money is being turned into 2nd rate dogsh#t (no, really, there is 1st rate dogsh#t if you feed your dog the good stuff...but I digress).
Folks, if this is a ball game what inning are we in and how do you win???
Bottom of the ninth, with two outs and two strikes. You win by walking away and not playing.
speaking in ball game terms, we are playing the banana league and banksters got a picture of refs kids in their wallet
It's more like Star Wars, and we are somewhere late in the Phantom Menace episode.
The world is better than you think, until you run out of Mr. Pibb and popcorn.
Now this is what first rate dogsh#t is:
Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]
Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.
To which world are they referring?
Has Goldman Sucks now extended their grip to the inhabitants of other planets too?
TYPO...
Supposed to be
"My" World is better than you think.
careful
you just may be getting a little too close to the truth
Resistance is futile; we will assimilate you(r wealth.)
europeans just do not consume enough Valium to make it in the new normal
More Prozac please....
Does it really get better if we register more than once?
Quit making the captcha questions so hard. No one from the ECB can login. Jeeeesh!
"No one from the ECB can login."
Sure they can... the answers are all negative numbers... The ECB knows negative...
I asked Tyler earlier if Marla was running the CAPTCHA servers now because the answers work for once... and I keep getting 69 and -69...
"Did you see the size of that chicken!?"
Doing God's work, just like the Bishops who molested innocent kids. F*cking morons. There are no devils in hell - they are all here.
This reminds of the realtards blowing smoke up everyone's ass prior to the crash, issuing statements like "why your house will never go down in value".
Idiots.
I remember seeing a bill board in 2008 from local realtards saying "you'll wish you had bought now"...knew I should have taken a dated pic...GSacs remind of some of these politicians that seem to think video recording and youtube don't exist...they start to think whatever thing the say is the truth, cause they said, regardless of whatever they have said in the past
" The fundamentals of our economy are sound" George Bush talking about his friends while on national TV
lol . Must have been drunk
td - i love how you have greece as the country in the drop down box....thats too good
So how do they deliver the required "Kool-aide" over the interwebs? Because you're going to have to be heavily sedated to make any sense of this one.
In other words...*EMERGENCY [SQUID] BROADCAST*
"The World is Better than you think because we have already reserved your luxury bunks in one of our DULS (deep underground living space) based on your geographic location. In this special message we will detail travel arrangements for safe transport of you and your loved ones..."
Any good ZH hackers out there?
TOTAL BS! Roman Empire, times a quadrillion.
lol, yes they do. I think the conversation went something like this:
and that is pretty similar to the capcha
When you keep taking ALL THE MONEY in the game, then YOUR WORLD is just fine.
It's easy to do "God's work" when you actually ARE God.........
Why Proper Title Capitalization Is Only for the Little People
We have just released the Kraken:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Thcaq8N-Js
Why the World is Better than You Think
Shortest. Conference Call. Ever.
No, shortest would be "Business Ethics of the Squid."
This is what's left when you go all in throwing $1 trillion at the Euro and it barely buys you a day. This is like BP's plan to plug the oil leak by shooting tires and golf balls into it...
dlt
One at a time ? Would it help if we all shot our tires? You first.
I bet that underwater golfing dont come cheap.
Where do i get the caddy?
somebody call a plumber , we have a leak over here.
What is GS going to do now? You can't get any better than 63 out of 63! I would say that their world is way better than mine! Of course, their world is "The World".
Something awful happened to the firm after it went IPO. Obviously, there is no way to maintain a consistent culture throughout the firm, especially when you're dealing with so many investors who WANT to lose money. They don't want to make money. It's in their psychology.
The religious believe that "money is evil" shit, so they purposefully behave irresponsibly. That's the unfortunate culture of the sell-side. If the Federal Reserve could be K.O.ed, the banks would go back to being little houses. Of course, the government would basically die, but who cares? Oh no, they'd have to bring their permanently brain-damaged soldiers home. Who would keep us safe from the diaper bomber then?
Puh-leeze.
Even Chinatown back ally bookies lose once in a while, although instead of going to the Fed for more cash, they kill the man's family....The back alley seems more honest
Mr Market milkman does well for himself!
ANOTHER FINE DAY AT THE BUCKET SHOP:
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/05/another-fine-day-at-bucket-sh...
They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town,
With political connections to spread his wealth around.
Born into society, a banker's only child,
He had everything a man could want: power, grace, and style.
But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.
The papers print his picture almost everywhere he goes:
Richard Cory at the opera, Richard Cory at a show.
And the rumor of his parties and the orgies on his yacht!
Oh, he surely must be happy with everything he's got.
But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.
He freely gave to charity, he had the common touch,
And they were grateful for his patronage and thanked him very much,
So my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read:
"Richard Cory went home last night and put a bullet through his head."
But I work in his factory
Simon and GarfunkelAnd I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be,
Oh, I wish that I could be
Richard Cory.
I chose not to listen to it. Is there any doubt the pure crap they spew out on those conference calls??? I might ask the authors of Zerohedge what does one EVER learn from those conference calls.... I sware on my Mom's grave I didn't listen to it. Does it start off something like some Goldman prick going "Well for all the negative naysayer nigityboobiterbobs out there who are jealous of us, here is what all the bignosed guys gave to Jewish charities last year after they figured out how it would benefit them on their tax margins. See!!! Aren't we just the most generous sham artists the world has ever known??? Here, you can kiss my shoe now."
I don't have time to listen to rubbish, I have to make time for posts like these.
What are drugs?
Before your preconceived notions would you take anything if it saved your life?
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/science/12psychedelics.html