WiLLiaM BaNZai7's Book oF WaLL STReeT FaT CaTS

williambanzai7's picture

THE NAMING OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

(The Naming of Cats, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)

FROM WILLIAMBANZAI7'S BOOK OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

 

The Naming of Wall Street fat cats is a difficult matter,

It isn't just one for bank holiday chatter;

You may think at first I'm as mad as Cramer the mad hatter

When I tell you, a fat cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the trader's use daily,

Such as Jimmy, Dickie, Kenny or Jamie,

Such as Henry or Lloydie, or Johnny or Bernie -

All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

Some for the gentlemen gangsters, some for the dames:

Such as Maestro, Gorilla, Bandit and Ace -

But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you, a fat cat needs a name that's particular,

A name that's peculiar, and more infamous,

Else how can he keep his pinstriped network reticular,

Or save his whiskers, and cover his backside?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

Such as Bootstrap, Lucky-me, or Slick,
Such as Ponzo, or Boeski and Screwy Ken Lewy -

Names that never belong to more than one fat cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,

And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no financial sleuth can discover -

But THE WALL STREET FAT CAT HIMSELF KNOWS,

and will never confess.

When you notice a fat cat in profound meditation,

The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of the name of:

His ineffable effable

Effa-nineffable

Latest, deepest and inscrutable

CON GAME.

 

TS

 

NP

 

DC

 

PhD

PhD Cat

 

GS

 

SI

 

BF

 

FAB

AM

 

AIG CAT

 

CNBC

CRAMER

Inside JobI

Inside Job Matinee Screening

 

PONZ

 

Bedlam

 

Tsunami

 

503

 

TDAM

The Dog Ate The Mortgage Notes

MN

 

Angelo

 

Madoff

Madoff

 

Vol

PauL VoLCKaT

 

BS

 

FOMC

 

Timmah

(Pronounced Like Timmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!)

HYP

 

BTFD

 

Blythe

 

BTFD

 

JS

 

Hell

 

Vig

 

KA

 

PF

 

HJ

 

Brent

 

Silver

 

TARP II

 

FY

 

TF

Mobilize the Tin Foil Brigade!

NC

Calling all Ninja Cats

FC

 

Time to take off the Fight Club gloves, for Project Mayhem!!!!!

 

PM

 

BZI

 

VC

VC

 

VC

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malek's picture

My stomach muscles hurt!

williambanzai7's picture

Try hyperventilating at the Post office ;-)

Bastiat's picture

The Phd cat actually looks like Greenspan!

 

ebworthen's picture

Mr. Banzai7

I promise you will like this.

DEVO - Fresh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVqESo4mFMs

meow

apeakunderthehood's picture


http://apeakunderthehood.blogspot.com/2011/03/bond-smokers-please-stand-up.html

Bond Smokers Please Stand Up

Different take that we hope you find interesting and amusing. 

williambanzai7's picture

How can we go forward when Ben dosn't know which way he is facing.

rlouis's picture

LOL!!! Great - brought tears to my eyes.

williambanzai7's picture

Cats are right about humans, we make good pets but we are totally nuts ;-)

williambanzai7's picture

Cats are right about humans, we make good pets but we are totally nuts ;-)

onlooker's picture

I read this morning you were working on cats. Breathless the whole day cause I do like cats. And here it is, you have out done yourself again. Amazing.

williambanzai7's picture

LOLCATZ. They make more sense than 50 AGs ;-)

Amish Hacker's picture

William, you are the Poet Laureate of Zerohedge. Remember us little people when you're onstage receiving your award.

williambanzai7's picture

I don't forget anyone, that is the secret to this ;-)

disabledvet's picture

ahh, bond vigilante cat. yesss, of course.  of course where is the Cheshire Cat himself? He was last seen...smiling....and then...smiling...and then...and then...and....

williambanzai7's picture

The Cheshire is everyone smiling ;-)

jointhewave's picture

Watch the video 'AUSTERITY MEANS POVERTY FOR AMERICANS !' at (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leeDbHqDU8U).

Anonymous-

The SHTF in 2008 and now its going to hit again in 2011. Can't wait for the systemic breakdown!!

sodbuster's picture

Thanks WB7- VERY funny- Loved the AIG cat.

williambanzai7's picture

Life imitates art and LOLCATZ ;-)

Jasper M's picture

Nice work. I wov cats. Never thought I'd enjoy seeing Blythe's pussy. 

williambanzai7's picture

Blythe galore as they say in the silver mkts

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

LOL

Your comment works on so many different levels. :>)

Moe Howard's picture

Where else can you get such classic financial humor? Thanks for the smiles.

williambanzai7's picture

If you find out let me know ;-)

Wakanda's picture

Meow wow wow!

I can't choose which is the funniest because I can't stop laughing!

Thanks WB7!

mynhair's picture

Get that imposter outta my terlot!

downrodeo's picture

we're not worthy, we're not worthy!

 

 

 

awesome work!

whoopsing's picture

Nice work Will. My fav-Cnbc cat, Thank's for the laugh

williambanzai7's picture

They are all funny pics. I started out finding funny pics then captioning them into the theme ;-)

Agent P's picture

My favorite cat was the squirrel.  T-t-timmah!!!  "I got silver" and "Banzai" are a close 2nd and 3rd.

Nice work by the way.  The whole thing was friggin hilarious!

williambanzai7's picture

Tnx, that squirrel is a riot ;-)

Zero Govt's picture

laughed my head off all the way through.. Banzaii for President

williambanzai7's picture

I'd rather be Supreme Ruler (Chairman of the Fed) ;-)

DollarMenu's picture

"Jamie - It's Blythe, let me in..."

Just too cute - can not stop laughing.

"Fuck You Wall Street"

The face!

 

Thanks WB7 - you are soon to be declared a National Treasure!

Miss Expectations's picture

These are great, William.

Made me think you could do sets of post cards. 

kaiserhoff's picture

Cramer was perfect, and we even got to see the inner Banzai. Great as usual, William.

velobabe's picture

i love the B A N Z A I, cat. that is almost damn perfect. ummm your always so busy with the hands on the etch a sketch 3.0. jealous. here kitty kitty. no really i have seen these about 3 times today and they are adorable. you must be a cancer, house cat† i am going to email this to my daughter who absolutely loves all things kitten, cat and kitty. thanks for making this monday, fun day!

williambanzai7's picture

Let me know what she thinks ;-)