WiLLiaM BaNZai7's Book oF WaLL STReeT FaT CaTS

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THE NAMING OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

(The Naming of Cats, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)

FROM WILLIAMBANZAI7'S BOOK OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

 

The Naming of Wall Street fat cats is a difficult matter,

It isn't just one for bank holiday chatter;

You may think at first I'm as mad as Cramer the mad hatter

When I tell you, a fat cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the trader's use daily,

Such as Jimmy, Dickie, Kenny or Jamie,

Such as Henry or Lloydie, or Johnny or Bernie -

All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

Some for the gentlemen gangsters, some for the dames:

Such as Maestro, Gorilla, Bandit and Ace -

But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you, a fat cat needs a name that's particular,

A name that's peculiar, and more infamous,

Else how can he keep his pinstriped network reticular,

Or save his whiskers, and cover his backside?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

Such as Bootstrap, Lucky-me, or Slick,
Such as Ponzo, or Boeski and Screwy Ken Lewy -

Names that never belong to more than one fat cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,

And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no financial sleuth can discover -

But THE WALL STREET FAT CAT HIMSELF KNOWS,

and will never confess.

When you notice a fat cat in profound meditation,

The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of the name of:

His ineffable effable

Effa-nineffable

Latest, deepest and inscrutable

CON GAME.

 

TS

 

NP

 

DC

 

PhD

PhD Cat

 

GS

 

SI

 

BF

 

FAB

AM

 

AIG CAT

 

CNBC

CRAMER

Inside JobI

Inside Job Matinee Screening

 

PONZ

 

Bedlam

 

Tsunami

 

503

 

TDAM

The Dog Ate The Mortgage Notes

MN

 

Angelo

 

Madoff

Madoff

 

Vol

PauL VoLCKaT

 

BS

 

FOMC

 

Timmah

(Pronounced Like Timmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!)

HYP

 

BTFD

 

Blythe

 

BTFD

 

JS

 

Hell

 

Vig

 

KA

 

PF

 

HJ

 

Brent

 

Silver

 

TARP II

 

FY

 

TF

Mobilize the Tin Foil Brigade!

NC

Calling all Ninja Cats

FC

 

Time to take off the Fight Club gloves, for Project Mayhem!!!!!

 

PM

 

BZI

 

VC

VC

 

VC