WiLLiaM BaNZai7's Book oF WaLL STReeT FaT CaTS

williambanzai7's picture

THE NAMING OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

(The Naming of Cats, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)

FROM WILLIAMBANZAI7'S BOOK OF WALL STREET FAT CATS

 

The Naming of Wall Street fat cats is a difficult matter,

It isn't just one for bank holiday chatter;

You may think at first I'm as mad as Cramer the mad hatter

When I tell you, a fat cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the trader's use daily,

Such as Jimmy, Dickie, Kenny or Jamie,

Such as Henry or Lloydie, or Johnny or Bernie -

All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

Some for the gentlemen gangsters, some for the dames:

Such as Maestro, Gorilla, Bandit and Ace -

But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you, a fat cat needs a name that's particular,

A name that's peculiar, and more infamous,

Else how can he keep his pinstriped network reticular,

Or save his whiskers, and cover his backside?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

Such as Bootstrap, Lucky-me, or Slick,
Such as Ponzo, or Boeski and Screwy Ken Lewy -

Names that never belong to more than one fat cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,

And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no financial sleuth can discover -

But THE WALL STREET FAT CAT HIMSELF KNOWS,

and will never confess.

When you notice a fat cat in profound meditation,

The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of the name of:

His ineffable effable

Effa-nineffable

Latest, deepest and inscrutable

CON GAME.

 

TS

 

NP

 

DC

 

PhD

PhD Cat

 

GS

 

SI

 

BF

 

FAB

AM

 

AIG CAT

 

CNBC

CRAMER

Inside JobI

Inside Job Matinee Screening

 

PONZ

 

Bedlam

 

Tsunami

 

503

 

TDAM

The Dog Ate The Mortgage Notes

MN

 

Angelo

 

Madoff

Madoff

 

Vol

PauL VoLCKaT

 

BS

 

FOMC

 

Timmah

(Pronounced Like Timmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!)

HYP

 

BTFD

 

Blythe

 

BTFD

 

JS

 

Hell

 

Vig

 

KA

 

PF

 

HJ

 

Brent

 

Silver

 

TARP II

 

FY

 

TF

Mobilize the Tin Foil Brigade!

NC

Calling all Ninja Cats

FC

 

Time to take off the Fight Club gloves, for Project Mayhem!!!!!

 

PM

 

BZI

 

VC

VC

 

VC

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Yen Cross's picture

Monday- Funday. That was cute. Brought a smile to my face.

Dr. Porkchop's picture

When you combine kittehs and the awful cartoon villany of wall st., you can't miss!

williambanzai7's picture

You can never go wrong with cats and dogs ;-)

cougar_w's picture

"Hell cat" was my favorite.

I'm like that, some days. Just watching and waiting. Going to really enjoy when those four old guys ride into town, oh yeah. Until then I'll just sit here and radiate black malice from the depths of my corrupted soul. You don't like it there is a nice deep well I can toss you into.

On really bad days when there are no lesser mammals to eviscerate I write some fiction.

williambanzai7's picture

That one is a very interesting catposition ;-)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

That's interesting because when I saw that one I thought about you and the ladies.

It's so......you.:>)

cougar_w's picture

Indeed. And the dark brooding landscape is their natural habitat.

I might try my hand at Photoshopping something for Fortran though. She's absinthe for the eyes. finding a suitable human female model to start with would be a good excuse to research some porn sites.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Anything to further the art is what I say.

metastar's picture

Excellent Work!

I had my first bit of visual combat this weekend when a fight broke out in town. With camera in hand, everyone behaved themselves though the police did not appreciate being on video ;)

williambanzai7's picture

Good for you!  They have to be monitored.

metastar's picture

I would have prefered video taping a tattooed Asian chick engaged in a lewd public act. Someone needs to keep the streets safe. Glad to see you're on the job ;) Keep up the good work!

Misean's picture

Bond Vigilantes...nice.

williambanzai7's picture

I was amazed when I saw that one ;-)

baby_BLYTHE's picture

These little guys are so cute!

Thank you Banzai!

Brightened my day :)

You have some real talent here. Thanks to Tyler for posting you, as always

Dagny Taggart's picture

Great work WB. Love the kitty cats. Almost a sin to portray the skanky banksters as cute fuzzballs... until they mosh in your charts.

williambanzai7's picture

I have a friend who I am constantly trading LOLkatz with. And I am constantly joking about how LOLCatz get more traffic than just about everything on the internet including ZH. If you can't beat em...;-)

IQ 145's picture

 Wonderful. "laughter is the best medicine".

Clapham Junction's picture

Absolutely funckin' fantastic. Seriously dude, get ye hence to someplace that will pay you mega-bucks for your talent.

That's a command, boyo.

williambanzai7's picture

Mega bucks would do just fine ;-)

luk427's picture

Inside Job matinee screening is great .

williambanzai7's picture

That is yet another funny image ;-)

hugolp's picture

"Fabrice" and "AIG cat" made me laugh. Glad I am not at work.

williambanzai7's picture

Laughter is bad for work ;-)

PulauHantu29's picture

Even my Dog is Rolling on the Floor laughing so F*'n Hard!

williambanzai7's picture

That is funny! Is he rolling in the driveway ;-)

Yen Cross's picture

Holy CRAP! You out did yourself this time! I'm rolling in my driveway laughing. LITERALLY!

williambanzai7's picture

Be careful you don't get run over ;-)

ebworthen's picture

 

Love those little kitties, some fresh thinking there William.

Speaking of fresh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVqESo4mFMs

Larry Darrell's picture

AIG cat was the best, IMHO.......altough that could have also been GM cat

williambanzai7's picture

That cat symbolizes our entire corrupt system

tamboo's picture

n a February 8, 1920 article for the Illustrated Sunday Herald, Churchill wrote:

"(From) the days of Spartacus Weishaupt to those of Karl Marx, to those of Trotsky, Bela-Kuhn, Rosa Luxembourg and Emma Goldman, this world-wide conspiracy ... has been steadily growing. This conspiracy played a definitely recognizable role in the tragedy of the French Revolution.

It has been the mainspring of every subversive movement during the nineteenth century; and now at last this band of extraordinary personalities from the underworld of the great cities of Europe and America have gripped the Russian people by the hair of their heads, and have become practically the undisputed masters of that enormous empire.

There is no need to exaggerate the part played in the creation of Bolshevism and in the bringing about of the Russian revolution by these international and for the most part atheistical Jews. It is certainly a very great one; it probably outweighs all others. With the notable exception of Lenin, the majority of the leading figures are Jews."

http://www.modernhistoryproject.org/mhp/ArticleDisplay.php?Article=Final...

Jasper M's picture

And don't forget that awful Jesus guy, he was a jew as well. I am waiting with baited breath for you to present his list of crimes to us. 

Miles Kendig's picture

The fixation with blame fixing rather than problem solving is the great refuge of wanna be scoundrels

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Excellent! I hope they pay you appropriately for your work (in gold).

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Pay?

Hey Banzai7. Are you getting paid to contribute? Because I sure as hell am not.

I always knew Tyler liked you more than me. :>)

williambanzai7's picture

My Dad bought a hat and a T shirt. But we plan to plow that back into the marketing plan.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

LOL

Fool that I am, I even bought three of your mugs for myself.

http://www.zazzle.com/certified_junk_mug-168381764244764639

Oh well, at least it's keeps Banzai7 in the company of the Geisha girls for another 5 minutes. :>)

williambanzai7's picture

Even  one of your fans bought a CD mug ;-)

sdmjake's picture

can't wait to get it. (Another conversation starter amongst the capital markets guys each morning!)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Clearly a case of temporary insanity. I gave one to my mother and she immediately disowned me.

"So you're that stupid idiot on Zero Hedge? I knew you were keeping something from me when you wouldn't look me in the eye. And stop playing with that phone when I'm talking to you." :>)

williambanzai7's picture

We appreciate your patronage and we are plowing it back into the business ;-)

ldotf's picture

another work of genius to start the week. Thank you Mr. William

RemiG2010's picture

That PhD Cat looks exactly like Great Maestro!