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Working On The Backend.

Sacrilege's picture


Hi All,

I'm working on the backend -- notably on the database. If you experience any lag on commenting or contributor posting, it is part of this process; we apologize for the discomfort.




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Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:24 | 1360583 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Sacrihedge indeed.


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:45 | 1360620 Captain Benny
Captain Benny's picture

I used to like rooting people's boxes.  It was a way to get off and it really felt good -- a kind of mental rush of sorts.  But then when I realized that if my box got rooted, I'd feel pretty violated.  Grepping one's backdoor, touching their files, mounting their wive's volumes... it all just felt so dirty.

Yes - Tyler is working on the backend... lets just hope its his own.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 02:13 | 1360729 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

As if invading Libya wasn't enough, now we're only days before Falkland War part deux begins.


Step 1>  Convince one part in conflict you side with them and would not interfere if they were to claim their right.

Step 2>  Watch naive gullible nation throw itself into armed conflict, then sell weapons to both sides and ultimately side with the other part in conflict, obliterating the naive gullible nation.

Step 3> "There is no step three" -Jeff Goldblum

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 02:36 | 1360773 Hdawg
Hdawg's picture


They can then pick up the rest of Patagonia for pennies in the dollar.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 02:58 | 1360780 augie
augie's picture

+1 for helmet. 

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:06 | 1360898 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Step three is "profit", according to the Underwear Gnomes.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:08 | 1360902 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Perhaps Bernanke should get his bitchez in line, lest the Bank of England start passing retaliatory judgements over the ownership or sovereignty of the gold lying in its and the LBMA's vaults claimed also by GLD and JPM... The lack of basic manners, grace, and skill demonstrated by this administration is getting to be more of an embarrassment than the last manequin they displayed in the USA, Inc. storefront window. 

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 12:54 | 1361240 Kayman
Kayman's picture

But you have to admit Obi is a more professional script reader than the last puppet.

Don Regan telling Reagan what to do while the mike was on, was simply priceless.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 14:27 | 1361400 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The current model is definitely better at demonstrating literacy.  Although between the technical problems with current the TOTUS and the previous TOTUS' inability to control the words coming out the POTUS' mouth - I get scared when either is standing in front of a live microphone, especially if it's during market hours in any market where I have an open position.  However, the excruciatingly pained enunciation of the current model makes think of a Richard Pryor impersonation of a white guy - only the guy is 41 saying, "Read My Lips" or is it "Let me be clear" - I seem to get the two confused lately.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:15 | 1360942 knukles
knukles's picture

But this is the whole point of the Nobel Peace Prize Laureate.  Tell somebody you'll support them and they go away thinking maybe it's best to just go on holiday.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:47 | 1360980 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Obama is just doing this because he is hoping Argentinas hot presidente will tweet him some nude photos......

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:13 | 1361027 bankruptcylawyer
bankruptcylawyer's picture


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 04:42 | 1360820 uhb
uhb's picture

i hope for tyler it's his babe's ...  well... backend :)

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:51 | 1361085 wisefool
wisefool's picture

There is no spoon.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:29 | 1360585 akak
akak's picture

Somehow the title of this thread put me in mind of Sir Mix-a-lot ....

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:27 | 1360592 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Did you get sprung?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:35 | 1360597 akak
akak's picture

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 03:12 | 1360794 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:47 | 1360626 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

Double up.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 03:12 | 1360795 LudwigVon
LudwigVon's picture

You can do side bends or sit-ups...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:42 | 1360612 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"Working On The Backend."

Umm...that's what he/she said.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:57 | 1360931 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

I think that is the key message from the Bilderbergers too.


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:27 | 1360591 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

We have our Astroglide to help cushion the backend blow. All kidding aside, can you get large & extra large shirts on order?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:28 | 1360593 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Don't get stuck.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:29 | 1360594 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:33 | 1360687 subqtaneous
subqtaneous's picture

Finally, someone who knows what they're on about.


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 07:46 | 1360885 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

Motto of the Hairy Clam Pub?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:25 | 1361036 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:35 | 1360598 BaboonAss
BaboonAss's picture

You lord and rule over all. I extend my tongue up the proper orifice I hope. Gracias, mahalo, etc.


And if you disagree, then lick my balls. As we used to say in the Navy, lick my fucking balls, now, you pathetic piece of shit.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:41 | 1360608 Derpin USA
Derpin USA's picture

Yeah, that's not gay in any way. Sir, no sir.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:56 | 1360736 iNull
iNull's picture

I knew a Navy SEAL on a flatop off 'Nam who when bugged one too many times for his last can of P&B unzipped and stuck his dick in it. Implorements dropped to zero. Nothing gay in that.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:28 | 1361045 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

That doesn't sound kosher...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:56 | 1361094 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Shit, if it's going to be that kind of a party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes-

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:16 | 1361110 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

While you're at it, mix up some "cock"-tails with your swizzile stick.

No wonder Bond, James Bond, prefered his martini shaken, not stirred.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:26 | 1360955 knukles
knukles's picture

Master Gunnery Sergeant Sea Cucumber

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:40 | 1360605 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Lube, Sac....LUBE!

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 03:01 | 1360783 augie
augie's picture

the lube sac Is a little old place where, we can get together...Lube sac baby! Lube Saaac That's where its aaat........... Hack.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:12 | 1360938 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Your Fred is passable, but you need to improve your stereo backup beehives. ;)

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:37 | 1360607 New Survivalist
New Survivalist's picture

You said that purposely. lol i'll bite.

"That'd be in the butt, Bob." 

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:38 | 1360609 TrueStrengthTur...
TrueStrengthTurnsTheCheek's picture

I really thought this meant we were gonna be getting global news 24/7....too bad.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:46 | 1360617 Bithead1
Bithead1's picture

I thought Weiner was in here...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:09 | 1360939 snowball777
snowball777's picture

You're thinking of Twitter. Totally different set of cats.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 00:52 | 1360636 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

What happened to the new platform?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 02:07 | 1360747 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

It's in the works. Soon zerohedge will be completely hosted on Tyler's iPhone.

iOS MySQL port is almost done.

Webservers on iOS platform will revolutionize the net.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:13 | 1360941 snowball777
snowball777's picture

It said 'Unlimited Data Plan'!

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:37 | 1360964 ZakuKommander
ZakuKommander's picture

iPhone? Better hope Reggie's taking the weekend off.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:32 | 1361051 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Webservers on [a mobile] platform will revolutionize the net.

Ya know, ya might be on ta sumptin' dere...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:04 | 1361103 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I always knew tyler was the inspiration for the dark night, pretty good flick, history is always more interesting than fiction.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:13 | 1360660 Crumbles
Crumbles's picture

THANKS for note. Difficult job but somebody has to do the back office stuff just to keep it up and running.
Q - can U rm ~mynhair rmdir for asshole over posting ? ;)

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:39 | 1360706 Trillax
Trillax's picture

I was hoping you'd say rm -Rf ~/mynhair/* with the dd=/dev/zero option.


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:14 | 1360668 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Inside look at the 2011 Bilderberg talent show...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:46 | 1360711 iNull
iNull's picture

And you wonder why western civilization is at an end.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:30 | 1360681 redpill
redpill's picture

Excuse me, the line is...


"Working On The Backend, Bitchez."


Now, as you were.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:40 | 1360701 Peak Everything
Peak Everything's picture

Everything's going in the shitter...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:12 | 1360943 snowball777
snowball777's picture flush from freedom.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:38 | 1360705 mt paul
mt paul's picture

when ever i try

to work the back end 

i get slapped..

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 01:41 | 1360709 Trillax
Trillax's picture

It takes finesse and soothing. Have you tried that, brother Paul? Encouragement to make them feel sexy....

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 07:34 | 1360879 mogul rider
mogul rider's picture

or how about


"Yo momma gimme sum o dat!"


Works for me

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:14 | 1360945 snowball777
snowball777's picture

They wish they knew how to quit you.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 02:02 | 1360742 Comrade de Chaos
Comrade de Chaos's picture

Thank you !

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 03:45 | 1360808 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Speaking of 'working on the back end', where has Money McBags been?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 05:26 | 1360831 duncecap rack
duncecap rack's picture

Sadly for us, MM got a day job.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 06:13 | 1360840 10044
10044's picture

who cares about him, has anyone seen Marla lately (I mean the last 10 months?!)

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 07:44 | 1360861 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

Yes, she has been busy making movies, The presidents speech, the Harry Potters and et all, busy woman Id say. Did you know she is a witch? (nods head wide eyed)

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:32 | 1361055 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Did you know she is a witch?

Well THAT explains a lot...

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 07:08 | 1360863 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Watch your back-end -- Strauss-Kahn is out on bail.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 07:47 | 1360883 Poule Mouillee
Poule Mouillee's picture

Henceforth, Sacroiliacege.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:02 | 1360893 Xenofanes Skarak
Xenofanes Skarak's picture

Thank you for very good article Tyler, you are right, again...



check the actual state of forex markets on



Sat, 06/11/2011 - 12:03 | 1361158 knowless
knowless's picture


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:41 | 1360921 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

Kill Him!!! Get the Pitch Forks! Sacrilege has kid napped Tyler, Again! To Arms!

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:50 | 1360926 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Back end = back office?


Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:17 | 1360950 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Server back-end...the big (relatively speaking) iron that runs the DB storing accounts, your comments, opposed to the load-balancers, varnish, and caching machines of the (relatively) more customer-facing front-end.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:31 | 1361050 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Clearer, thanks!

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 08:52 | 1360927 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

good problems as opposed to bad problems i hope

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:18 | 1360947 speconomist
speconomist's picture

Revamping the comments section would be greatly appreciated.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:30 | 1361049 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Email notification for replies, more thread-like responses too. Cheers in advance.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:03 | 1361100 speconomist
speconomist's picture

Ability to ignore certain users would be great too.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:40 | 1361127 KinorSensase
KinorSensase's picture

lame.  take the bad with the good.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 09:34 | 1360967 ZakuKommander
ZakuKommander's picture

Keep up the good work, guys (and, perhaps, ladies).

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:07 | 1361014 TaxSlave
TaxSlave's picture

No means maybe, yes means backend!

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:09 | 1361023 nopat
nopat's picture

Sacrilege:  glad to see you pop up, was thinking about you the other day.  Hope all is well.



Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:44 | 1361065 Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

My wife tells me I spend so much time on the backend I am probably immune to eColi. I just call it one of the french benefits to our relationship.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:52 | 1361087 djsmps
djsmps's picture

E coli boots on the ground

In the cloud transitory

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 10:58 | 1361091 Fancy Bear
Fancy Bear's picture

While we're on the topic of ZH, can you guys order some more t-shirts. I'd like a L dream t and a L red evil speculator.

Thanks in advance

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:49 | 1361141 MobBarley
MobBarley's picture

The Choad balancers are out of whak.



Sat, 06/11/2011 - 11:59 | 1361155 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Well, well...and speaking of "the backend,"  Todd Schoenberger of Landcolt Trading LLC finally found his.  For those of you not sure who he is:

This is the guy who has been so balls to the wall bullish that he has put David Tepper to shame. After constantly pumping every single stupid bullish Wall Street cliche known to man, from "Global Growth" and "cheap stock valuations" and crazy "upside equity priced targets" in the "better second half"...including being bullish even as far back as yesterday...this tool waited until today to go bearish.  That's right, on today's Fox News broadcast Cashin' In, Schoenberger just announced that he is, "certain that the US is now headed for a double dip recession by the 4th quarter of this year."

Well, there you have it.  Yet another glaring signal that the undone Tepper Effect is a real problem, and Wall Street cares not a wit about its glaringly bad credibility.  Every ill informed tool has now obviously been sufficiently stuffed into the Pachinko equity market so as to green light criminal syndicate Wall Street bankers [and financial trading LLCs] to collapse it via their fractal algo driven "investment" vehicles...even the most ignorantly bullish of them all.

I just love it when these so called investment professionals step upon the stage and commit credibility surely Todd Schoenberger just did.

From his company's Linked in page:

LandColt Trading's mission is to proactively and ethically offer trading solutions for a client's "explore" investments with a passion for calculated risk-taking and thorough due diligence. The firm is committed to providing a best-in-class user experience. In every subscriber relationship, LandColt Trading strives to be a trusted partner. We continue to move where opportunity exists, bringing our clients and partners with us.

In this case, I guess, ethics include misinforming every single viewer who takes the BlowHorn [CNBC] seriously, and then selling them out with a 180 degree turn [in less than 24 hours] on a Saturday morning.

Anyone who, at this moment in time, cannot find his backend screwed.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 13:00 | 1361255 anony
anony's picture

Where's the voluptuous, desirable Marla while those shenanigans are going on?  

She on leave?

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 13:03 | 1361261 FriedEggs
FriedEggs's picture

Get rid of the dumb-dumbs...





Sat, 06/11/2011 - 13:50 | 1361340 Sunshine n Lollipops
Sunshine n Lollipops's picture

Nothing to say. Just wanted to share this most bad-ass blues action.

Sat, 06/11/2011 - 18:51 | 1361890 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

While you're at it, how bout fixing the problem with comments crowding up against the right margin.

Sun, 06/12/2011 - 19:48 | 1363720 trainrobbery
trainrobbery's picture

I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't post:

"That's what she said."

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!