Working On The Backend.

sacrilege's picture

Hi All,

I'm working on the backend -- notably on the database. If you experience any lag on commenting or contributor posting, it is part of this process; we apologize for the discomfort.



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Ahmeexnal's picture

Sacrihedge indeed.


Captain Benny's picture

I used to like rooting people's boxes.  It was a way to get off and it really felt good -- a kind of mental rush of sorts.  But then when I realized that if my box got rooted, I'd feel pretty violated.  Grepping one's backdoor, touching their files, mounting their wive's volumes... it all just felt so dirty.

Yes - Tyler is working on the backend... lets just hope its his own.

Ahmeexnal's picture

As if invading Libya wasn't enough, now we're only days before Falkland War part deux begins.


Step 1>  Convince one part in conflict you side with them and would not interfere if they were to claim their right.

Step 2>  Watch naive gullible nation throw itself into armed conflict, then sell weapons to both sides and ultimately side with the other part in conflict, obliterating the naive gullible nation.

Step 3> "There is no step three" -Jeff Goldblum

Hdawg's picture


They can then pick up the rest of Patagonia for pennies in the dollar.

Quinvarius's picture

Step three is "profit", according to the Underwear Gnomes.

Urban Redneck's picture

Perhaps Bernanke should get his bitchez in line, lest the Bank of England start passing retaliatory judgements over the ownership or sovereignty of the gold lying in its and the LBMA's vaults claimed also by GLD and JPM... The lack of basic manners, grace, and skill demonstrated by this administration is getting to be more of an embarrassment than the last manequin they displayed in the USA, Inc. storefront window. 

Kayman's picture

But you have to admit Obi is a more professional script reader than the last puppet.

Don Regan telling Reagan what to do while the mike was on, was simply priceless.

Urban Redneck's picture

The current model is definitely better at demonstrating literacy.  Although between the technical problems with current the TOTUS and the previous TOTUS' inability to control the words coming out the POTUS' mouth - I get scared when either is standing in front of a live microphone, especially if it's during market hours in any market where I have an open position.  However, the excruciatingly pained enunciation of the current model makes think of a Richard Pryor impersonation of a white guy - only the guy is 41 saying, "Read My Lips" or is it "Let me be clear" - I seem to get the two confused lately.

knukles's picture

But this is the whole point of the Nobel Peace Prize Laureate.  Tell somebody you'll support them and they go away thinking maybe it's best to just go on holiday.

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Obama is just doing this because he is hoping Argentinas hot presidente will tweet him some nude photos......

bankruptcylawyer's picture


uhb's picture

i hope for tyler it's his babe's ...  well... backend :)

akak's picture

Somehow the title of this thread put me in mind of Sir Mix-a-lot ....

Temporalist's picture

"Working On The Backend."

Umm...that's what he/she said.

Oh regional Indian's picture

I think that is the key message from the Bilderbergers too.


Atomizer's picture

We have our Astroglide to help cushion the backend blow. All kidding aside, can you get large & extra large shirts on order?

dwdollar's picture

Don't get stuck.

Bolweevil's picture

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

subqtaneous's picture

Finally, someone who knows what they're on about.


BaboonAss's picture

You lord and rule over all. I extend my tongue up the proper orifice I hope. Gracias, mahalo, etc.


And if you disagree, then lick my balls. As we used to say in the Navy, lick my fucking balls, now, you pathetic piece of shit.

Derpin USA's picture

Yeah, that's not gay in any way. Sir, no sir.

iNull's picture

I knew a Navy SEAL on a flatop off 'Nam who when bugged one too many times for his last can of P&B unzipped and stuck his dick in it. Implorements dropped to zero. Nothing gay in that.

Uncle Remus's picture

That doesn't sound kosher...

Urban Redneck's picture

Shit, if it's going to be that kind of a party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes-

Pure Evil's picture

While you're at it, mix up some "cock"-tails with your swizzile stick.

No wonder Bond, James Bond, prefered his martini shaken, not stirred.

knukles's picture

Master Gunnery Sergeant Sea Cucumber

snowball777's picture

Lube, Sac....LUBE!

augie's picture

the lube sac Is a little old place where, we can get together...Lube sac baby! Lube Saaac That's where its aaat........... Hack.

snowball777's picture

Your Fred is passable, but you need to improve your stereo backup beehives. ;)

New Survivalist's picture

You said that purposely. lol i'll bite.

"That'd be in the butt, Bob." 

TrueStrengthTurnsTheCheek's picture

I really thought this meant we were gonna be getting global news 24/7....too bad.

Bithead1's picture

I thought Weiner was in here...

snowball777's picture

You're thinking of Twitter. Totally different set of cats.

williambanzai7's picture

What happened to the new platform?

Ahmeexnal's picture

It's in the works. Soon zerohedge will be completely hosted on Tyler's iPhone.

iOS MySQL port is almost done.

Webservers on iOS platform will revolutionize the net.

snowball777's picture

It said 'Unlimited Data Plan'!

ZakuKommander's picture

iPhone? Better hope Reggie's taking the weekend off.

Uncle Remus's picture

Webservers on [a mobile] platform will revolutionize the net.

Ya know, ya might be on ta sumptin' dere...

wisefool's picture

I always knew tyler was the inspiration for the dark night, pretty good flick, history is always more interesting than fiction.

Crumbles's picture

THANKS for note. Difficult job but somebody has to do the back office stuff just to keep it up and running.
Q - can U rm ~mynhair rmdir for asshole over posting ? ;)