Yes, Amazon Does Blame The Weather For Weak European Sales

Tyler Durden's picture

And there you have it: blame that shocker of a non-recurring event known as snow in December. Someone should explain to Jeff Bezos that Amazon benefits from record snowfalls. It sure would inspire some confidence in shareholders if the CEO actually knew that he was running an online retailer. Did someone dissolve crazy pills and forget to tell us about it? When will someone finally blame fiscal and monetary policy (all QE1, Lite and 2 of it), for one-time, non-recurring $4.5 trillion in stimulus? We dread to imagine what Stay Puft marshmallow man will materialize if it ever snows on the Abominable Chairman's printers...

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gwar5's picture

Global warming is the economy.

French Frog's picture

It might be an online business but all the goods ordered still have to be delivered .... by road (most of them) and most of Europe had the coldest December on record with record amount of snow; under those conditions I do not know of any delivery companies here in the UK that managed to deliver on time more than 70/75% of goods throughout December and many potential customers simply opted to go down the stores for their xmas purchases rather than risk a 'non-guaranteed xmas delivery; and that, believe it or not, affects the bottom line in the real world

mynhair's picture

Too funny!  Be like telling the Squirrel he IS president, not just running for the position.

NOTW777's picture

they are simply emulating their leaders and gov

NOTW777's picture

awesome will pic - LOL

TruthInSunshine's picture


The pic ZH posted makes the official 'snow killed Amazon sales' tagline even more humorous than the just plain irrationality of it all ordinarily would have.

Blankman's picture

Any time you can work the movie Zoolander in to and article is a good time.  It is one of those guilty pleasure movies.  F'n hilarious.  ""and they were Asian!!!"

whatz that smell's picture

everybody knows snow slows the internets, tyler... jeezzz!

Logans_Run's picture

Al Gore said we might need snow tires on the information superhighway. I guess he was right!

Logans_Run's picture

Al Gore said we might need snow tires on the information superhighway. I guess he was right!

centerline's picture

It makes the lines cold - same for the air where things are wireless, which slows everything down.   Basic thermodynamics stuff really.  When things warm up, Amazon is gonna rock for sure!  I think I'm going to sell some PM's and go long here.  I should be rich by summer.



Haywood Jablowme's picture


Millions of jobs created?  Then how abouts installin' copper heating wires in all the sidewalks and roads?  Duh!  These people are fucking idiots.



Bob Sacamano's picture

Store based retailers are famous for using the weather as an excuse for sub-par results.  Good weather = everyone outside enjoying themselves, but not shopping.  Bad weather = everyone stayed home inside and not shopping.

The only retail line of trade that can legitimately use the weather excuse is car washes -- just not many people washing cars when it rains.....

Yen Cross's picture

 That's right up there with the GBP gdp numbers. Blame it on the weather.

Agent P's picture

You have got to be fucking kidding me, right?

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

once again Tyler, you completely miss the point.  You're thinking of the wrong kind of "snow"

Many people have had the same kinds of problems as AMZN due to the same kind of snow (e.g. Richard Pryor).  See now how it all makes perfect sense? 

Yen Cross's picture

 That was RICH. I guess you own shares of TMZ and sell them everynight at dinner time.

bingaling's picture

Reuters has the CEO quoted as saying "It is winter there, and people can't use their keyboards til the snow thaws ." In other news ,Microsoft has just declared bankruptcy due to it raining in Seattle . Gates was quoted as saying "who would believe water would fall from the sky when there is already so much in the oceans."

Rainman's picture

Just cause they're signed up don't mean they're buying. My daughter gave me a Kindle for Xmas. Signed up and put it in a box somewhere around here. Not even looking for a wall of paper books I still need to read.

voltaic's picture

I assume this summer may be too hot to oder online? Financial scientists have recently discovered that online buying peaks between 60-80 Fahrenheit, with partly cloudy skies and a rising barometric pressure.

New_Meat's picture


"I assume this summer may be too hot to oder online?"

No, in fact if the summer is too hot then the sweat will accumulate and the oder in the subway trains will be enhanced.  If you are online, then you'd have to order the "oder app" for your iThingie to have appropriate smellavision.

We really can't assume anything these days.  Esp. in this era of 'global climate change.' ;-)

- Ned

HarryWanger's picture

Funny how the weather seems to affect all these guys except for AAPL. They can put up insanely good numbers even with a hurricane blowing outside. 

mynhair's picture

You don't know what a hurricane is, ya blowhard.

zebra's picture

if you have enough iphones you can make a hurricane

iPhone app turns speaker into very low power fan

don't u ever forget that..



tmosley's picture

Hey everyone!  It's HarareWanger with another inane comment!

ebworthen's picture

Apples only grow in the warm season, and in Washington and Oregon and other OZ like areas.

nopat's picture

Did we all suddenly forget light Black Friday traffic being driven by a change in the sales channel mix, with online retailers seeing unprecidented activity?

Or how about the blizzard being well within rounding error in terms of impact?

Add "dismissively optimistic forecast from the trade union chief economist of an industry that has become a politically-accountable metric" as a new datapoint to the Doomsday Number.

zebra's picture

thanks for summarizing the links... people have very short memory and can be manipulated easily.

Sam Clemons's picture

Yea, I don't understand how they don't mention the terrible monetary policy.  I don't want to invest in the stock market because it clearly rigged and ready to collapse whenever people like me buy.  I can't earn anything from savings.  I can't buy shit I don't need from Amazon because the shit that I do need keeps going up in price. 


zebra's picture

Cold weather clogged Ben's printer, that's why.

Sam Clemons's picture

I personally like when Mother Nature makes the human race her bitch.  I wish it would really snow - not a few inches here and there - so we can see the effects.  Plus, does it really matter how much shit is sold within a few month period compared with a few months before?  I don't get why we are so preoccupied with such petty things when there is fraud and corruption running the planet.

New_Meat's picture

snow affects jobless claims, e.g.:

but that is the AP story all over.  otoh, the BLS don't see no stinkin' snow:

- Ned

Trifecta Man's picture

I think there are people pissed at Amazon for their kowtowing to the government and cutting off support to Wikileaks.  So naturally their customers cut back their business with Amazon.  I did.  No more purchases from Amazon.

Sam Clemons's picture

I usually contact the sellers on Amazon directly after that news hit.

chockl's picture

I've got 12 in. snow one my monitor. Help!

bergsten's picture

Actually, they had a better and more plausile excuse had they'd thought of using it...

Up until recently, books from would arrive as quickly or quicker than books from (to the USA).  Now it's 30 days, minimum.  And we're talking paperbacks, not encyclopedias.  And not just Amazon either.

A book could swim here faster than it takes for one to arrive now.

Might this have to do with exploding toner, or have certain customs officials learned how to read?

(and what's with the Math question even when logged in?)


TruthInSunshine's picture

So far the cold & winter have:

1) Caused downward revisions in U.S. retail sales.

2) Caused the U.K.'s GDP to contract.

3) Caused Amazon to miss on the top line.

4) Caused U.S. New Home Sales to come in at the lowest pace in 47 years.

Given that we have about 3 more months of winter, I'd say we're screwed. QE3 should help offset the snow, ice and cold weather, right Ben Bernanke?

Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

P/E is now 75.  What a bargain!

TruthInSunshine's picture

Amazon closed at exactly $50 24 months ago.

So, now is the time to go long. Because the economy is so solid, and getting stronger all the time. And because Amazon has only gained a mere 350% in 24 months.

Go long, and be strong.

The recovery is here, and the SOTU is strong my friends.





Problem Is's picture

I know the snow, blizzards and bad weather stopped me from getting out to Amazon to shop...

Note to Fucktard Amazon Management:
Just hire the Census Bureau or the BLS to revise that shit away for you...

ebworthen's picture


Yes, if only my Internets connection had been FASTER and I hadn't had to wait 0.5 seconds for that waffle maker image to load I would have hit the "BUY" button instead of spending 45 minutes to get to Wally World to get it and pay State RAPE taxes on the Chinese piece of shit!

Gawd...I'm glad Jeff Beezos has it figured out!

Please retailers...put up some new glimmery bits for me to oogle and put on the Chase card...oh Gawd...or should I put it on my Capital One card!?!? 

Woe is me!


Apocalypse Now's picture

That is classic, most excellent.

The only thing I can add is that CEO Jeff was listening to Milli Vanilli:

Gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the rain that
was falling, falling
Blame it on the stars that
did shine at night
Whatever you do don't put
the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Cos the rain don't mind
And the rain don't care
You got to blame it on something
(Blame it on the rain)
(Blame it on the stars)
Whatever you do don't put
the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah, yeah
You can blame it on the rain

Very creative, not just rain but frozen rain in the form of snow.

Titus's picture

Nothing makes me happier than buying puts on an overpriced stock before it falls. 

oh_bama's picture

Hehe.. do get excited so easily bears...


you guys are too negative!


there is only one thing I want to say for this situation: BTFD!!!

LadyH's picture

You can order but you cant get shit delivered. So why bother?