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Your $3 Trillion Credit Card Application Has Been Approved

Tyler Durden's picture




We dare anyone to go to the bank and try getting a new credit card (with a limit anywhere between $50 and $5 trillion) by presenting this personal budget.1

1Bank of China/Japan Excluded. Possession of dollar printing press is grounds for disqualification.

Necessary and sufficient, if "credit card issuance = fail" chart compliments of energyecon




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Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:13 | Link to Comment . . .
. . .'s picture

Tyler, you ain't seen nothing yet in terms of printing.  To offset the leverage of the derivatives, consumer, corporate and government debt outstanding, if you want inflation, the way to do it is to start a hot war.  Check out the inflation the US got due to the Korean War in the 50's, and Vietnam in the 60's.

The reason is you are diverting productive capacity into the war effort (which reduce supply curve) and printing money to buy goods and services with no productive value (which does not boost the supply curve).  Summers and Rahm might decide a hot war in Afganistan or wherever is the best recipe to deleverage.  Maybe also devaluing the USD by fixing it at $2,000 for 1 oz of gold, and seizing all gold held inside the US for $900 per oz.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:23 | Link to Comment Rollerball
Rollerball's picture

War is the only industry we have left (besides "consumption").  And "they" don't have to seize gold - "they" control that market already.  Think SLP.    

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:13 | Link to Comment Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

Jonathaaaaaaaaan!

Now I feel better. Go Houston! Whoo!

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:09 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

RAND Corporation published a study to DoD in late Fall 2008 suggesting a hot war in order to revive the economy.   RAND -- publishing batshit-insane material since 1948.  Some things never change.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:03 | Link to Comment Anal_yst
Anal_yst's picture

link?

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:26 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

The study is unpublished.  The existence of the study was leaked in the Chinese press.

 

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b55_1225399574

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:51 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:27 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

If you read the other crap which RAND has published ("how nuclear war might start", http://www.rand.org/pubs/notes/N2614/ ) in conjunction with the DoD "Civilian Expeditianary Workforce" 1404.10 (civilan contractor draft) regulations published in Jan 2009 none of this is surprising.

http://www.army.com/news2/item/4764

http://www.dtic.mil/whs/directives/corres/pdf/140410p.pdf

 

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 12:47 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/19/2009 - 05:48 | Link to Comment Arm
Arm's picture

I actually believe this could be a real proposal (and could theoretically be a solution).   China would make the only reasonable target.   Enemy would need to be big enough to require the full effort fo the economy and for citizens to feel a real sense of danger to their lives and that of their conscripted children. 

However, the adversary must not have too strong a nuclear arsenal or you risk blowing up the world.  With current intercept technology, it is feasible to have a limited nuclear war with an opponent with only a couple dozen nuclear missles.

Russia has too large a nuclear arsenal to risk a war (and too weak a conventional army)

Japan is too weak to provide a long-term conflict (and has no nuclear weapons)

North Korea could provide a long-term conventional conflict, but the size would not mobilize the entire US economy.

That leaves us with Europe or China.   Care to guess who's submarine bases the US has been mapping?

 

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 10:09 | Link to Comment Jim B
Jim B's picture

I don't think we will be attacking China.  Do we even have the industrial base to built our own weapons without imports???  If we did attack China, all of our retail stores (electronics in particular), would be virtually empty.  No computers, no TVs,......    We don't manufacture much anymore.....

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 00:42 | Link to Comment greenbacks (not verified)
Fri, 08/21/2009 - 16:10 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:18 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:27 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

I think it is... the first  bonefide sighting of one of them there green shoots we've been hearing so much about... I think that we need to name it after you "Anon"  :-)

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:21 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:15 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:22 | Link to Comment SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

TD thanks for posting this.  This illustrates exactly why sustained deflation leads to sovereign default.

Print = Global USD Exodus = Hyperinflation

Deflation = Default = Hyperinflation

Bernanke is trapped.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:29 | Link to Comment trillion_dollar...
trillion_dollar_deficit's picture

The country is utterly broke yet Obama is giving Brazil billions for OFFSHORE OIL DRILLING while simultaneously opposing it for the US.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203863204574346610120524166.html

You just can't make this stuff up.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:30 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:19 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

at first I thought that the wsj article was a spoof....wow, i cannot believe the hypocricy of obama and cos. as the "green" energy, "green" environmentalist gurus yet they go along for offshore in brazil.  i guess there is a big difference in the potential environmental hazards to the offshore of brazil versus offshore of, say, New Jersey.

reminds me of the old (and true, I believe) story in or about the seventies when Sen. Ted Kennedy was opposed to offshore oil exploration.  During that time, some photographers caught him on a boat with a lady and they were either nude or close to it.  Fast forward to the Senate floor where a Southern Senator (may have been Fritz Hollings, not sure) made a statement to the effect that "...it appears that the Senator from Massachusetts may have changed his mind about offshore drilling."

 

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:22 | Link to Comment Icarus
Icarus's picture

You are missing the US "green" angle.

Brazil sugar cane ethanol production threatens the US corn-based ethanol initiative. The US gov is deperately trying to get their own "self-sustainable" green program off the ground which they cannot do with Brazil undercutting their heavily subsidized corn crops.

This loan for off-shore drilling is the US buying time to advance their own program, and to placate Brazil over the ethanol import tariff put in last year as part of their $289B program.

http://www.icis.com/Articles/2008/05/15/9124273/us-congress-extends-etha...

As far as the hypocrisy, are you really surprised?

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:38 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Or to prepare us for Sugar the new Oil...watch it spike!

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:46 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

icarus...thank you for the insight on the ethanol angle (i don't follow that area at all).

 

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 09:10 | Link to Comment Thinking Bulldog
Thinking Bulldog's picture

That was Howell Heflin, the great southern Democrat senator from Alabama, who made the crack at Teddy.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:11 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

Yeah it's nutty.   We are living in 1984.   I just heard today that Virginia needs like $1.3 billion to cover their budget shortfall.

 

Now , I am not a highly paid economic theorist, but WHY THE FUCK ARE WE GIVING MONEY TO BRAZIL WHEN THE STATES ARE BROKE?

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:48 | Link to Comment spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

PM asks:

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE GIVING MONEY TO BRAZIL WHEN THE STATES ARE BROKE?

To help a brotha out. That's why.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a.V5sgGzdsQY

 

"MARK IT ZERO, DUDE"

 

 

 

 

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:18 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

http://pogoarchives.org/m/ep/doi-looks-the-other-way-19950401.pdf

Clinton's biggest Folly...Killed Royalties from drilling!

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:32 | Link to Comment asteroid
asteroid's picture

Get ready for hyperdeflation.  That's what you'll have if the derivatives industry explodes.

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:38 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

You have to admit that it would be an opportunity of a lifetime to witness a supernova up close.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:02 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:32 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:38 | Link to Comment kaptainkrunch
kaptainkrunch's picture

         http://tinyurl.com/o5xeow     Almost choked on my dinner watching my favorite comedy channel -CNBC.. Discussing hope and the homeowner! Hmmm I don't know where the hope could be coming from? F'n unreal...  ff to 1:45..enjoy

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:05 | Link to Comment lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

in a stunning twist of fate, the show known as "dennis i am hopeful fella kneale" has gone on hiatus....

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1215705295&play=1

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:42 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

At the risk of breaking the 3rd rule, I think he's moonlighting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KANI2dpXLw

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:50 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

That is amazing he actually used the word hiatus... don't they usually keep the time slot open with re-runs of that person's old shows for people that they really want back.  I don't remember Jay Leno going into hiatus when he is off on a 2 week vacation.  Dennis sounds a little concerned about this hiatus.  I think he 'jumped the shark' when he started attacking bloggers.

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:39 | Link to Comment RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Heh, heh....

The Plutocrats at the Fed and Treasury Dept. have successfully maneuvered interest rates to remain pinned near 40-year lows, so that Uncle Sam can borrow ad infinitum at nearly zero cost.

Today's PPI numbers further guarantee that unlimited credit lines approaching the trillions are virtually guaranteed, as inflation is non-existent according to the Politburo data.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:59 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

Thanks RT for your great image inputs. See AXP up on higher delinq's today. Ramp it up

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:29 | Link to Comment ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

LOL - Ben "making it rain". Ya think he took personal lessons in Vegas from Packman or any of his thug buddies? He sure is good at it.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:47 | Link to Comment Marshal Ney
Marshal Ney's picture

Yes, a plutocracy. And on a unimaginable scale. I'm beginning to think of it as Totalitarian Capitalism. People are looking to old models, but I don't think we've ever seen this before. The British Imperialists were little wankers compared to these folks. The richest 5% have never had this concentration of international power.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:47 | Link to Comment msorense
msorense's picture

I don't see the problem.  Just go to the Bank of China - they will approve you right away! 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:48 | Link to Comment jg
jg's picture

We are nearing our Weimar moment.

Germany had inflation, then hyperinflation, over '19-'23.

The cause of it was out of control government spending, financed by the German central bank printing press.

In '18, Germany's budget deficit was 33%; in '19 it was 70%.

In '10, our budget deficit will be right between those two numbers, and growing.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/19/2009 - 16:53 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:49 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

haha great thread title

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 20:56 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

So I just heard that the dollar is collapsing?  Great source...anybody care to confirm this? Loaded Shorts across the globe?

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:05 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

This is all that is out tonight... but just future projections from Tyler's friend PIMCO (just kidding)...

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aeD0JMxdEA_c

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:11 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Thanks...hmm...let me go do some snooping at the FED...;-)

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:14 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

FOFOA has a target of by  end of October 09 for complete meltdown initiation including dollar collapse.  

 

This lines up with my timeline as well, but it's possible we see a temporary hard reversal (dollar rally) if there is another round of global deleveraging prior to the Black Currency Swan getting sucked into the engine.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:21 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Wow..your brilliant...still snooping..w/c in later...:^)

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:23 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

Check out these

 

The Waterfall Effect

http://fofoa.blogspot.com/2009/08/waterfall-effect.html

 

How ALL Systems Can Collapse Overnight

http://www.scribd.com/doc/17880556/How-ALL-Systems-Can-Collapse-Overnigh...

 

All Paper Money Is Still A Short Position on Gold

http://fofoa.blogspot.com/2009/03/all-paper-is-still-short-position-on.html

 

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:15 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

X

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:28 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

Forgot to add "especially against emerging market currencies"

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 00:42 | Link to Comment greenbacks (not verified)
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:12 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:12 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

I think that if we fudge the Loan-to-Value just a little bit... doctor up our financials by not making the curvature of the graph lines so steep (who drew that anyway)... and offer California, Arizona, Michigan, and Florida as collateral.... then I don't see any problems in China underwriting this loan.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:17 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:56 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

But it was an easy way to get rid of those car companies we own... we don't have to tell China they might not be the best collateral though... in fact don't tell China that they might have to put money into them instead of expecting a positive return... its our secret... shhhh...

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:22 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

They don't want those states...andreas fault and florida national bird is mosquito!  lol

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:28 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Maybe then New York and Washington, DC... so in case of default, America's problems would be over... and China's would begin :-)

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:51 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Think like a Chinaman??? Clue, our 51st state and has all the oil we will ever need!

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:53 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Perfect... and then Palin will go with it also :-)

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:09 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

errrrrrrrrr wrong answer..second clue...who is our lil bitch?  no its not me ...lol

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:18 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Oops... my bad... you meant Iraq... I clearly have a counting problem and don't know how I made it past the Captcha... Iraq would work perfectly so we could get rid of one war and that pesky Al Qaeda.  Do you think we could convince China that poppies are beautiful flowers that Chinese women would enjoy... and maybe get rid of Afghanistan also.

Sat, 08/29/2009 - 19:41 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:10 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

If we offer Washington DC, Zero Hedge should keep The Loft  and Columbia Heights for ourselves -- so make sure we put that in the contract.   China can have the rest -- including all 535 Congress Critters and the rotting stench wafting across the Potomac.  

 

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:12 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Perfect... it sounds like we are all in agreement of what goes and what stays... so lets send Clinton over to make the deal... Bill Clinton that is... he has the stongest connections in China via his charity... so it should be a slam dunk... Hillary will be steaming mad though... hope she doesn't blow up again at another college student during a news conference in third world country...

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:17 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

LoL..too bad she has been marginalized...

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:51 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

she hasn't been marginalized, oh no.  never underestimate her and her hubby....she is scheming and planning every moment of the day...i would never count her out

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:16 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

I cheer for her success in what is typically a man's world... but she has this little part of her that I percieve as 'low esteem' that bursts forth at all the wrong moments... you sense it and I wish she could overcome it.  I think if she had left Bill after the affair happened then this would not be as big of an issue as it is today... she would have regained her dignity... but since she didn't she is constantly struggling with her own perceptions of herself... and unfortunately the college student in Africa was the latest recipient.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:17 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:51 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

You will change your tune, when the black sedan starts to follow you around...lol

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 10:20 | Link to Comment Chumly
Chumly's picture

Yeah, well, they were following me as I was walking down the street one evening...I walked over to their car and asked them if they "had a problem."  There was no reply, they just drove off.  ??

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:19 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:53 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Wow...too bad your Annon...good post..

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:41 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Like it... you should register on ZH... and claim it with your name.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 21:52 | Link to Comment MarkD
MarkD's picture

But the bank would say "This is good news, Q2 estimates, beat expectations....your approved"

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:41 | Link to Comment sleestak
sleestak's picture

There's a price for that loan, maybe L+1500 plus warrants. The Fed/Treas gonna have fun holding that ground.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:47 | Link to Comment Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

We are only missing another illusion to securitize, my suggestion is to use Social Security.

From what I understand, there really is no account with any savings in it despite the itemized bill on our paychecks.  Let's just pretend, like we have done with all the other derivatives, that there really is a balance (part of the trillions in derivatives).

I have paid in a fortune and will never see a dime, but would love to borrow against my SS balance (you know, those waste of paper newsletters you get that state what you should receive from Social Security when you retire)?

I am actually serious and not joking, at least the balance indicates how much each individual has put in so it is equitable - hopefully BB and TG are reading this.  We could stimulate spending and kick the can down the road another year or so.  As Bush said, it is a house of cards and there is no magic wand - only buying time.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 22:56 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

From what I understand, there really is no account with any savings in it...

Apocalypse: I could very well be wrong, but over the years I seem to recall a number of items that I have read (i think Samuelson and Allan Sloan at Newsweek have written about this) that have suggested that the fica money from our paychecks is turned over to Treasury, which issues treasury confetti, and hands that over to Soc. Security.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:01 | Link to Comment Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

Yes, I thought I was being the gentlemen by presenting it softly - I wouldn't want to be responsible for scaring any old folks.

Look at this interesting article (see FDIC section), the FDIC is the same - everything appears to be a ponzi scheme and the only important aspect is cash flow:

http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article12792.html

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:44 | Link to Comment Steak
Steak's picture

Lets get some log charts up in this biznyatch

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:55 | Link to Comment NRGTDR
NRGTDR's picture

Google: Operation NorthWoods. Be on Guard.

Tue, 08/18/2009 - 23:57 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/19/2009 - 01:02 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/19/2009 - 07:39 | Link to Comment Pat Shuff
Pat Shuff's picture

 Adjusting the chart for inflation would yield a less
dramatic, truer picture instead of beginning with the
apples and ending with the oranges every non-adjusted,
overly dramatic chart does, the longer the time frame
the greater the distortion. Firstly, the unit of account
begun with is plural units by the end, secondly, the store
of value(s) depicted has mostly leaked out thus the line
more describes the varying size of the magically
compounding hole, thirdly the medium of exchange is some
gypsy conjuring the dead from the antonym of a currency
that devolved into a psychic phenomena. That's why modern
bills are transparent and held up to the light, to
communicate with the spirit world from whence it sprang as
easingly as Pandora's Box, granting the deified authenticity in
which we trust.

   Credere, to believe. A noninterest-bearing note sold at
no discount nor maturity. Increíble!

Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:51 | Link to Comment sbenard
sbenard's picture

The picture that's worth a trillion dollars -- or two, or three...!

Sat, 10/03/2009 - 04:44 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!