Your Chance To Own A Tiny 3" Piece Of Hank Paulson

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Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:32 | 998587 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Paulson's dick is that long?

Tape measures, bitchez!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:01 | 998673 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Wow, glad I wasn't the only one to consider that he might hang out with a certain DA from New York City and his high-priced hookers. Does it cost more or less when you only have 3 inches?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:18 | 998718 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

evidently, he b winna'

and it is from wapo, so we all know it has the absolute truthiin' in it.

- Ned

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:42 | 998877 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm tryin to figger out why it ain't tungsten.

Oh well, another mystery to solve...LOL.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:13 | 999006 hbjork1
hbjork1's picture

Tungsten would be worth something.  With Paulson approving it, it might be a mixture of lead and tin. 

He was, after all, an Eagle Scout.

"On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty

to God and my country, to obey the scout law,

to help other people at all times,

to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight."

I guess its obvious who his "God" was.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:00 | 999421 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

An ode to a moron named Hank

For helping his friends at the bank

With bonuses saved

And peasants enslaved

To honor this man is just rank!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:08 | 999112 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Well they sure don't have any silver to mint coins with and the penny is almost enough trash metal in it that it's only a few more percent of zinc away from being brass.

Before the federal reserve started you could buy pounds copper for a few pennies. Now you can't buy a pennys worth of copper for a penny. Oh how those magical fractions go from far above value to far far below it.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:37 | 999558 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture


Pure clad bronze tungsten Bitchez.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:40 | 999697 dr_teeth
dr_teeth's picture

It would be good if we could just print these off through the Mint website.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:15 | 998835 Twindrives
Twindrives's picture

Perfect object for target practice with the .270       

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:27 | 998860 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

I can think of a more cost-effective target for $42 a pop.

Some of my neighbors, for instance.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:57 | 999280 almost_have_a_name
almost_have_a_name's picture


The obverse design features a portrait of Secretary Paulson with the inscriptions "Second to last Secretary of the Treasury and Henry M. Paulson, Jr."

The reverse depicts a peregrine falcon in the center, taking a dump on America, the seal of the Department of the Theft on the left, the Great Con of the United States on the right and the Department of Theft Building in the background with the date DEC 23, 1913 inscribed above. 

The image of the peregrine falcon represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to the Department of Theft and it's pledge 'Print from above, prey down below'.


Sat, 02/26/2011 - 15:03 | 1000033 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

I don't want a Paulson for my chamber door... I want one for my chamber pot. Oh, and btw, what makes you think it is Masters in front and Gensler in rear?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:32 | 998589 knukles
knukles's picture

They spelled it wrong.  Shoulda been "bids of prey"

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:38 | 998613 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

peregrine falcon catches a pigeon (hehe)



Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:21 | 998715 Raynja
Raynja's picture

Conservation of bankers of prey ¿

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:27 | 999149 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

it's "Bidets of prey" for the micturating class....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:36 | 998593 Steroid
Steroid's picture

How fitting. A bird and a bankster of prey.

Good for target shooting!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:33 | 998596 sabra1
sabra1's picture

is that 3" before or after viagra?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:58 | 998665's picture

If your erection should last longer than four hours there's no need to worry, Dr. Bernanke claims he can stop your inflation in just fifteen minutes.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:32 | 998863 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

Of course, the remedy involves going in to cardiac arrest and the expiration of the patient, but hey, your unwanted erection will be gone!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:15 | 999478 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

@ Crocket, hillarious

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 11:02 | 999585 Meme Iamfurst
Meme Iamfurst's picture

Oh honey, it makes no difference if it is 3" or 3'...that is somekind of butt ugly man inside and out and there ain't no room dark enough to make him look any better.  Ouuu, that is a scary picture on that manhole cover, ain't it now?  Make my cat run out the door.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:35 | 998600 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Who else loves the continuous BIg Lebowski references?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:36 | 998604 SMG
SMG's picture

Sin is exalted.  Goodness is condemned.  What a world.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:21 | 998932 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

I would say that it's a shame, but shame is a quality the world is sadly lacking...

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:37 | 998606 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

It's almost laughably evil.  Like a Hitler Snuggie.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:19 | 998722 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

AND...its made of bronze so its basically worthless

AND...its 42 bucks!





who,my god, who is gonna buy this insane piece of amerikana bullshit?

i almost want one to shoot at....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:59 | 998805 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

I think its highest and best use would be as a urinal target.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:15 | 999449 Tim White
Tim White's picture

 A mint cover!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:04 | 999196 willlaughforfood
willlaughforfood's picture

why? because 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. those mint guys have a sense of humor...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 21:32 | 1000687 NrYC
NrYC's picture

But the joke is on us. They're laughing at us.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 06:26 | 999391 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture


Indeed. Why not $42.22?

See at n.1.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 15:25 | 1000080 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture


Purchase will be required by every GS employee.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:21 | 999224 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Ya but if you got a dumb kid you buy it for them and tell them it's a skeletor medal.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:35 | 999498 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

It's almost laughably evil. Like a Hitler Snuggie.

Brilliant.  (WS chortles quietly to himself.)  Thanks for that

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:43 | 998607 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Next up:

Quality 24 kt gold plated visage of ODummer, in guaranteed $10 Liberian coinage,

sponsored by the Kenyan mint, featuring his best Lenin pose:  chin up, little book

clutched to chest.....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:05 | 998681 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

I kinda regret not getting one of those chia pets of our esteemed prez.....wonder if they're still avaiable

cha cha cha chia


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:20 | 998726 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

ba ba ba bama bankster pet...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:59 | 999524 jimijon
jimijon's picture

Now that I minted my first coin.. I would be happy to mint a ZeroHedge Silver Round!! If there is interest please contact me.

let's make our own real money... bitchez!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:39 | 998616 Duuude
Duuude's picture


That's it...


We are officially living in Chuck Jones World.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:40 | 998620 mynhair
mynhair's picture

I prefer Charlie Sheen's world, though you all look like cartoon bears....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:40 | 998619's picture

One side of the coin flies around making noise and shits on you....the other side is a bird....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:42 | 998623 mynhair
mynhair's picture

'Bird, you win, turd, you lose'?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:00 | 998621 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

I have now seen the future - 1984 was a happy childrens tale compared to what is coming.The Crime is apathy, apathy that this clone of Joseph Goebbels was allowed to tell the lie. The lie we will all suffer.

But I want the complete set -George dubawa -Cheney - Rumsfeld and that bastard Greenspan who was so aptly named. I want the total CORRUPT SET.

Chumbwa and Cog Dis are going to go ballistic on seeing this.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:04 | 998815 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

But I want the complete set -George dubawa -Cheney - Rumsfeld and that bastard Greenspan who was so aptly named. I want the total CORRUPT SET.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:20 | 999364 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

My fuck...wasn't that priceless, I laughed until I cried...then I just cried.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:06 | 999412 falak pema
falak pema's picture


what else can you say for this You tube masterpiece. As in Mary Poppins ...

All hail, Nero on the Potomac! While Rome burns...

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:58 | 998974 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

When I look at the coin I see an empty Comex warehouse and the eagle represents an anonymous CFTC investigator looking the other way. And Paulson, well, if he doesn't represesent collusion then what. So we have the unholy trinity integrated symbolically in am illustrative coin: the rigging of markets, bribing of regulators and collusion of business with politicians. I'm sure in the next version they will improve the resolution of the engraved images to show a background with the middle class getting slaughtered in the stock market, a street crowd with pitchforks and worthless paper gold certificates and Ben's helicopters dropping banknotes over the crowd to control the situation.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:41 | 998625 mannfm11
mannfm11's picture

They need to make one for a dime out of aluminum foil for target practice

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