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Your Chance To Own A Tiny 3" Piece Of Hank Paulson

Tyler Durden's picture


As if adding insult to injury each and every day with wave after wave of POMO, even as the criminals on Wall Street continue to go about their business, collecting record bonuses, without even the remotest threat of prosecution, wasn't enough the US Mint is now openly micturating in the face of what little is left of US middle class with the issuance of the "Peregrine" Paulson (3 inches) bronze medal. That's right: starting today, everyone can own a tiny 3 inch piece of Hank: the same man who in October 2008 barged into congress with a three page proposal demanding Congress give him supreme dictatorial powers over this country, and to dispense an uncapped amount of money in rescuing his former company and anyone else he saw fit. The description of the reverse: " The image of the peregrine falcon
represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to conservation and his
long-time interest in birds of prey." Wouldn't it be more fitting to find a creature celebrating Hank's commitment to fraud, communism, bail outs, and the Goldman way? We eagerly await William Banzai's take on the Silver Vampire Squid Paulson coin which, if we find an appropriate dealer, we would be happy to sell directly to readers (if there is any physical silver remaining of course). Failing that a coin showing Blythe Masters on the front and Gary Gensler on the back would be a perfect substitute.

Of course, we jest: after the crackdown when everyone using the internet, parchment or ink is thrown in jail, who won't want to have a pallid bust of Paulson just above their chamber door...


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Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:32 | 998587 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Paulson's dick is that long?

Tape measures, bitchez!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:01 | 998673 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Wow, glad I wasn't the only one to consider that he might hang out with a certain DA from New York City and his high-priced hookers. Does it cost more or less when you only have 3 inches?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:18 | 998718 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

evidently, he b winna'

and it is from wapo, so we all know it has the absolute truthiin' in it.

- Ned

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:42 | 998877 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm tryin to figger out why it ain't tungsten.

Oh well, another mystery to solve...LOL.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:13 | 999006 hbjork1
hbjork1's picture

Tungsten would be worth something.  With Paulson approving it, it might be a mixture of lead and tin. 

He was, after all, an Eagle Scout.

"On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty

to God and my country, to obey the scout law,

to help other people at all times,

to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight."

I guess its obvious who his "God" was.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:00 | 999421 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

An ode to a moron named Hank

For helping his friends at the bank

With bonuses saved

And peasants enslaved

To honor this man is just rank!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:08 | 999112 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Well they sure don't have any silver to mint coins with and the penny is almost enough trash metal in it that it's only a few more percent of zinc away from being brass.

Before the federal reserve started you could buy pounds copper for a few pennies. Now you can't buy a pennys worth of copper for a penny. Oh how those magical fractions go from far above value to far far below it.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:37 | 999558 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture


Pure clad bronze tungsten Bitchez.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:40 | 999697 dr_teeth
dr_teeth's picture

It would be good if we could just print these off through the Mint website.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:15 | 998835 Twindrives
Twindrives's picture

Perfect object for target practice with the .270       

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:27 | 998860 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

I can think of a more cost-effective target for $42 a pop.

Some of my neighbors, for instance.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:57 | 999280 almost_have_a_name
almost_have_a_name's picture


The obverse design features a portrait of Secretary Paulson with the inscriptions "Second to last Secretary of the Treasury and Henry M. Paulson, Jr."

The reverse depicts a peregrine falcon in the center, taking a dump on America, the seal of the Department of the Theft on the left, the Great Con of the United States on the right and the Department of Theft Building in the background with the date DEC 23, 1913 inscribed above. 

The image of the peregrine falcon represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to the Department of Theft and it's pledge 'Print from above, prey down below'.


Sat, 02/26/2011 - 15:03 | 1000033 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

I don't want a Paulson for my chamber door... I want one for my chamber pot. Oh, and btw, what makes you think it is Masters in front and Gensler in rear?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:32 | 998589 knukles
knukles's picture

They spelled it wrong.  Shoulda been "bids of prey"

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:38 | 998613 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

peregrine falcon catches a pigeon (hehe)



Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:21 | 998715 Raynja
Raynja's picture

Conservation of bankers of prey ¿

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:27 | 999149 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

it's "Bidets of prey" for the micturating class....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:36 | 998593 Steroid
Steroid's picture

How fitting. A bird and a bankster of prey.

Good for target shooting!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:33 | 998596 sabra1
sabra1's picture

is that 3" before or after viagra?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:58 | 998665's picture

If your erection should last longer than four hours there's no need to worry, Dr. Bernanke claims he can stop your inflation in just fifteen minutes.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:32 | 998863 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

Of course, the remedy involves going in to cardiac arrest and the expiration of the patient, but hey, your unwanted erection will be gone!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:15 | 999478 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

@ Crocket, hillarious

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 11:02 | 999585 Meme Iamfurst
Meme Iamfurst's picture

Oh honey, it makes no difference if it is 3" or 3'...that is somekind of butt ugly man inside and out and there ain't no room dark enough to make him look any better.  Ouuu, that is a scary picture on that manhole cover, ain't it now?  Make my cat run out the door.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:35 | 998600 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Who else loves the continuous BIg Lebowski references?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:36 | 998604 SMG
SMG's picture

Sin is exalted.  Goodness is condemned.  What a world.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:21 | 998932 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

I would say that it's a shame, but shame is a quality the world is sadly lacking...

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:37 | 998606 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

It's almost laughably evil.  Like a Hitler Snuggie.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:19 | 998722 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

AND...its made of bronze so its basically worthless

AND...its 42 bucks!





who,my god, who is gonna buy this insane piece of amerikana bullshit?

i almost want one to shoot at....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:59 | 998805 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

I think its highest and best use would be as a urinal target.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:15 | 999449 Tim White
Tim White's picture

 A mint cover!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:04 | 999196 willlaughforfood
willlaughforfood's picture

why? because 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. those mint guys have a sense of humor...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 21:32 | 1000687 NrYC
NrYC's picture

But the joke is on us. They're laughing at us.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 06:26 | 999391 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture


Indeed. Why not $42.22?

See at n.1.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 15:25 | 1000080 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture


Purchase will be required by every GS employee.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:21 | 999224 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Ya but if you got a dumb kid you buy it for them and tell them it's a skeletor medal.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:35 | 999498 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

It's almost laughably evil. Like a Hitler Snuggie.

Brilliant.  (WS chortles quietly to himself.)  Thanks for that

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:43 | 998607 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Next up:

Quality 24 kt gold plated visage of ODummer, in guaranteed $10 Liberian coinage,

sponsored by the Kenyan mint, featuring his best Lenin pose:  chin up, little book

clutched to chest.....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:05 | 998681 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

I kinda regret not getting one of those chia pets of our esteemed prez.....wonder if they're still avaiable

cha cha cha chia


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:20 | 998726 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

ba ba ba bama bankster pet...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:59 | 999524 jimijon
jimijon's picture

Now that I minted my first coin.. I would be happy to mint a ZeroHedge Silver Round!! If there is interest please contact me.

let's make our own real money... bitchez!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:39 | 998616 Duuude
Duuude's picture


That's it...


We are officially living in Chuck Jones World.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:40 | 998620 mynhair
mynhair's picture

I prefer Charlie Sheen's world, though you all look like cartoon bears....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:40 | 998619's picture

One side of the coin flies around making noise and shits on you....the other side is a bird....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:42 | 998623 mynhair
mynhair's picture

'Bird, you win, turd, you lose'?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:00 | 998621 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

I have now seen the future - 1984 was a happy childrens tale compared to what is coming.The Crime is apathy, apathy that this clone of Joseph Goebbels was allowed to tell the lie. The lie we will all suffer.

But I want the complete set -George dubawa -Cheney - Rumsfeld and that bastard Greenspan who was so aptly named. I want the total CORRUPT SET.

Chumbwa and Cog Dis are going to go ballistic on seeing this.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:04 | 998815 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

But I want the complete set -George dubawa -Cheney - Rumsfeld and that bastard Greenspan who was so aptly named. I want the total CORRUPT SET.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:20 | 999364 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

My fuck...wasn't that priceless, I laughed until I cried...then I just cried.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:06 | 999412 falak pema
falak pema's picture


what else can you say for this You tube masterpiece. As in Mary Poppins ...

All hail, Nero on the Potomac! While Rome burns...

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:58 | 998974 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

When I look at the coin I see an empty Comex warehouse and the eagle represents an anonymous CFTC investigator looking the other way. And Paulson, well, if he doesn't represesent collusion then what. So we have the unholy trinity integrated symbolically in am illustrative coin: the rigging of markets, bribing of regulators and collusion of business with politicians. I'm sure in the next version they will improve the resolution of the engraved images to show a background with the middle class getting slaughtered in the stock market, a street crowd with pitchforks and worthless paper gold certificates and Ben's helicopters dropping banknotes over the crowd to control the situation.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:41 | 998625 mannfm11
mannfm11's picture

They need to make one for a dime out of aluminum foil for target practice

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:42 | 998628 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

I smell dick fulds b-day present. April 26th.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:44 | 998633 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Great info, TY.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:44 | 998631 mannfm11
mannfm11's picture

Not to mention, they have a lot of nerve putting a criminal like that on any kind of commemorative coin.  Might as well make one for Dillenger, Billy Sol Estes and Robert Vesco. 

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:44 | 998632 DeweyLeon
DeweyLeon's picture

Shouldn't this be made of fiat instead of bronze, and shouldn't there be an image of Rome burning in the background?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:46 | 998639 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

Come on, boys.  It's only $42.  Who can't afford $42 for an ounce of bronze*?




*"Bronze is a metal alloy consisting primarily of copper, usually with tin as the main additive" Wikipedia

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:48 | 998887 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

The only application that I can envision for Sn is in the form of stannous chloride. Great for removing explosive peroxides from shock-sensitive compounds.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:47 | 998640 Savonarola
Savonarola's picture

What a monochromatic head he has.

Grow a moustache, for chrissake.  

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:48 | 998643 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

Bronze, the metal of losers.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:53 | 998657 gimli
gimli's picture

This coin is useless ..... if you use it for a coin toss --- I guarantee you it will never land...... it'll just disappear. But don't worry, if you do lose it, the mint will replace it for free -- cause they're all backed by Benny and the Fed.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:56 | 998658 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Wait for the 'Treasury' Special Edition Collectors coin which is a bit more realistic. It's got Timmy Gitner on the front pictured submitting his budget to Congress with the words "Yes I Know It's Insolvent' on the coins rim.

On the reverse is pictured a printing press with Benny Bernank with his head stuck up his arse with the wording, 'No Nation In History Has Ever Printed Its Way to Success'

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:56 | 998662 ewmayer
ewmayer's picture

I thought at first this was a reference to that weirdly-bent pinkie finger of Hank's ... he probably dislocated it from too much practicing of his Austin-Powers-Dr.-Evil-style "one trillion dollars" imitation while preparing TARP.

[HP, admiring his freshly polished dome in full-length mirror at Treasury Central] "...One TRILLION doll...[snap] - Ow! I think I broke it! ... OK, better make it SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION dollars..."

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 20:56 | 998663 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Heads Hank Wins!

Heads Skeletor Wins!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:01 | 998675 chet
chet's picture

They should just make it out of urinal cake.  They'd sell millions of them.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:08 | 998689 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Great idea!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:19 | 998724 Cistercian
Cistercian's picture

 How about toilet paper with hank's,timmay's ,and benrons face with the words EAT SHIT under their photos...instant huge demand guaranteed!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:00 | 998907 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

Yeah, but then the morons who would buy these "coin-cakes" would be purchasing them as a food source.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:10 | 999116 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

You're just trying to make johnny bravo too busy to post under whatever id he's lurking with.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:02 | 998677 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

A Bronze paulson medal?

Next up, a wooden Geithner wafer and a paper Bernanke medallion.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:01 | 998678 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

It should've been made out of specially hardened cow shit plated with paper mache of unique gold color extracted from another kind natural shit giving it unique luster and rich look.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:03 | 998679 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Heads Goldman Sachs Wins, Tails you lose !

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:05 | 998683 Thorny Xi
Thorny Xi's picture

I just threw up in my mouth.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:10 | 998694 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

The image of the peregrine falcon represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to conservation and his long-time interest in birds of prey.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:14 | 998697 goldstandard
goldstandard's picture

Maybe it's something in the air in Washington or maybe in the water, but after screwing the unclean masses it seems that the elite at the top of the pyramid find it necessary to keep pushing our faces into a pile of feces. Hank Paulson was probably a crook when he was running Goldman and that stench followed him right into the Treasury position. There's an old saying. Hold your friends close, but hold your enemies closer and that is exactly what a novice from Illinois did when Paulson made room for the newest useful idiot on the block, oops I forgot to pay my taxes Geithner.

Maybe some day someone will design a coin with that same falcon picking at Paulson's carcass or plucking out his eyes after being tied to a stake on the front lawn of the White House. But if the best we can do is honor these people who could care less about what little is left of the middle class and more about their bottom line and Christmas bonus while leaving a trail of destruction in their wake, then I can only hope that some day we as Americans will take a page out of history and return the favor to our corrupt government and financial elite. Abe Lincoln said it best......"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it"......... 1861 Inaugural Speech....TGIF

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:13 | 998703 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

my personal favorite is where they're trying to sell me a "commemorative" $2 bill for $25 - I wouldn't wipe my ass with that garbage let alone purchase it

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:13 | 998704 Exposer of Inte...
Exposer of Internet Shills's picture

I am within driving distance of hanky..... don't prod me

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:27 | 999236 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

Get him mean dog!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:14 | 998707 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Only 42$ to own the likeness of the guy who held you down while the bankers raped you, what would you expect to pay for a treasure like this?


But wait...There's more a 3 dollar bill with Timmy Giethner performing fellatio on Barrack Obama on one side and Ben Bernakenstein swallowing Lloyd Blankfein's very own family jewels. Sure to be a collectors item. Don't wait order before midnight and you get free shipping (charges may be added to  the National Debt)

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:17 | 998717 goldstandard
goldstandard's picture

Your comment made my day and was a fitting image to consider after three very dry martinis. The visual was just stunning.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:27 | 998739 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

ok, heres whats reall fucken sick...

this thing is gonna be a god damn collectors item...

no ones gonna buy 'em, half will get melted,another portion straight to the landfill and the rest will be ridden with bullet holes

a pristine one will be worth a fortune,like even more valuable than george washingtons dehydrated and preserved penis, or a genuine piece of hitlers petrified shit

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:18 | 998716 Bubbles...bubbl...
Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

Now you know they are just laughing at our face.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:52 | 998785 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

That's the truth - Kind of makes you want to get a little angry that they grab your head and push it into the turd mound time and time again.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:20 | 998720 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

He is an A1 certified Piece of SHIT fucking asshole he should be Tried & Hanged for TREASON.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:57 | 998801 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

'Treason' and 'Treasury' are close... Treasonury where Hank and Git'ner work and describes precisely what these scumbags do... we have a new word, i like it :)

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:23 | 998730 Johnny G.
Johnny G.'s picture

It would make a nice urinal cake.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:24 | 998734 djsmps
djsmps's picture

Does it have the inscription : "Answers to no one and  decisions not appealable in any court of law"?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:03 | 998987 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

I think it should have an inscription "liabilities may be closer in time than they appear"

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:23 | 999231 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Flag as hilarious.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:32 | 998748 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Sack of fucking shit.

That covers it.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:32 | 998749 Misean
Misean's picture

Well, I would like to have Paulsonson's head on a platter...

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:37 | 998761 ewmayer
ewmayer's picture

I think it's kinda nifty they made it bronze ... a gold(man) one would've been just a little too obvious, not to mention less profitable on a dollar-in-dollar-out basis.

Plus, Hammerin' Hank probably fancies himself a kind of financial "Doc Savage, Man of Bronze".

(Note that in a Hank Paulson/Goldman context it's pronounced "Bron-zee", rhymes with "Pon-zee".)

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:43 | 998767 The Grifter
The Grifter's picture

That bronze coin is outrageous.   I want one.  Maybe more... when it all melts down, I'll just pull out my Paulson coins and see what happens.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:44 | 998773 unclebigs
unclebigs's picture

Fuck Hank Paulson.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:47 | 998776 Missiondweller
Missiondweller's picture

The irony would be even better if it were made of gold rather than bronze.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:52 | 998789 Misean
Misean's picture

Gold?!?! No, that would simply be a tragic waste.

Tungsten, now THAT would be ironic...and funny.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:49 | 998779 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

What's the melt value?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:10 | 998918 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

+1 .44 magnum

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:57 | 998780 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

Flashback: Hank Paulson threatens sheep with martial law if taxpayers don't transfer funds to bankers:


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:54 | 998787 russwinter
Fri, 02/25/2011 - 21:52 | 998791 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Even if it were made of gold, I wouldn't buy one.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:03 | 998810 adissidentishere
adissidentishere's picture

Someone please tell me this is just a little Friday night ZH humor.  LOL!  Good one guys!  Right?  This can't be happening.  <frightened, slightly insane laughter>

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:19 | 998933 serotonindumptruck
serotonindumptruck's picture

"You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh." -- Tyler Durden

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:11 | 998824 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Limited Edition ZH coins bitchez!

At least it won't be the clusterfuck that the Silver Keiser's were!

PS Is there a sharp shooter that could put a hole through this from a distance for me? :P

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:31 | 998942 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture


"clusterfuck that the Silver Keiser's were"

Does that mean you recieved your coins ?

 3 captchas correct - in row Biatchez !

Woo Hoo !

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:55 | 999182 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture


Hell no. I couldn't even order the day they came online. I was bitter. I just wanted one of each (except the 5 oz.) and two of the one ounce coins.

I got an e-mail like a month+ later. "Oh, sorry. We might have some available later."

So, no. I don't blame Max. I just wish he would do it himself. He is a guy with resources. I wasn't going to hoard them. Just a reminder of the "Buy Silver Crash JPM" campaign you know? As a motivator to keep your head in the game.

I would now prefer to buy some of the coins Tyler mentioned above. A nice momento for when the shit finally hits the fan.

Were you able to get some?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 15:18 | 1000068 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture


I was suspicious at first because there was no contact numbers nor address on the site.

Has enyone had any contact with these guys or what. ? I will do a little research on them and see what I can find !

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:12 | 998830 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

this makes me feel ill

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:16 | 998836 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Beyond fugly. There are pimples on Roseanne Barr's ass more attractive than this onanistic bankster slag.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:18 | 998842 bigargon
bigargon's picture


"the image of the turkey vulture represents Secetary Paulson's commitment of picking the bones of a road killed American middle class."

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:19 | 998844 SilverBaron
SilverBaron's picture

What are you all talking about?  He saved us from marshall law and riots in the streets.

I wouldn't buy it if it was made of silver and sold for $20.

Well, maybe it would be fun to watch it melt.  I like the urinal target idea too.  Better than aiming at a fake fly.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:21 | 998847 Misean
Misean's picture

Sadly, some will purchase these things, and not for the humor value.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:07 | 998997 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

I'm sure Ben will give away some to the Treasury, you know, as a lending private bank you have to treat your biggest customers well

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:26 | 998855 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

I would rather go down on Gabourey Sidibe than buy that coin....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:30 | 998862 Everyman
Everyman's picture

Hank Paulsen:

The Biggest Piece of SHIT that ever uttered a word.

That man needs to be impaled, not "commenorated" on a fucking coin.  Maybe the impalment, not the man!

$15 TRILLION in debt and the geniuses at the mint come up with this as a "product" to sell???  What the hell are they dropping acid, washing it down with a coctail of crystal meth and sterno???


Jesus!  The need to join the SEC officers and just watch Tranny porn.  At least they are occupied and not continuing to do stupid shit like a fucking doin for Henry the ASSHOLE!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:37 | 998870 Boba Fiat
Boba Fiat's picture

I was gonna say write the Director of the Mint.  But.....


Looks like Mr. Moy bugged outta town.  The empire's crumbling around us, fellas.  Got milk?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:37 | 998874 The Grifter
The Grifter's picture

C'mon guys, I don't see the problem here.

It's kind of like Obama giving Warren Buffet the presidential medal of honor in November.  Paulson didn't get a medal like Buffet did, this is a way of making up for it from the US Mint. 

A medal is special.   Like a bronze medal in the Olympics or something... the "special" olympics... I hear the 1 inch medal has a picture of Mini Me on it but it isn't available for sale yet.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:44 | 998880 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

On the other hand, this might be a good investment. So few will probably be sold that it could become a very rare collectable someday.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:51 | 998895 Misean
Misean's picture

It's a piece of stamped bronze with Hank Paulson's face on it, not petrified dinosaur feces in could it possibly become valuable?!?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:58 | 998905 The Grifter
The Grifter's picture

That's the way I look at it.    A souveneir from the "good old days".


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:51 | 998896 gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

What a fucking mockery this country has become. People are more concerned with watching snookie on jersey shore than realizing how fucked in the ass they are being. Then they bitch to their friends how much money they don't have and how under paid they are. Yet they still hold their hand over their heart and lip sync the national anthem at a sporting event. All I have to say is, if you understand what's going on, don't keep your mouth shut. Fight these assholes by buying physical silver, that's about the only means we have left to put up a battle. Realize they are throwing it in your face that they control the cards and you are just pawns which are about to be extinct and coins like this are just a reminder of this fact.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 22:53 | 998898 Kina
Kina's picture
Your Chance To Own A Tiny 3" Piece Of Hank Paulson


I thought you were talking about itty bitty pieces of Paulson poached in sherry and coated in choclate.


Let me know when they mince the cnut. Would make good cat food and he would have then at least offered one decent service to humanity in sating my pussy.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:16 | 998930 Everyman
Everyman's picture

"... and a nce chianti"



Sat, 02/26/2011 - 06:17 | 999386 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture

In the original screenplay, HL stated his preference for Amarone.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:20 | 999137 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Ya but who hasn't wondered how much the federal reserve and IMF would bring in a meat sale to a zoo.

Come on man your breaking my balls here. This is premium lobster fed meat.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:09 | 998914 Chuck Yeager
Chuck Yeager's picture

I would buy one just to see how far it skipped.  The cerimonial one I got from Disney with Micheal Eisner's likeness just went 'plop' off the Santa Monica pier.  So it would be good to see who is the bigger narcissistic loser...Micheal Eisner or Hank Paulson.  I think I need to buy one just to chuck it and see!


What is with these coins and narcissistic losers?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:10 | 998920 bad craziness
bad craziness's picture

I'm trying to get my head around why?  Why the fuck would anyone buy one?  Why the fuck would a mint make one?  Who chose the greatest fuckstick on the planet that cost the most people the most money in history.  Do all Sec Tresuries get one?  Is it tradition?  Of everything I have read today, nay this week, this is the most unhinged bizzaro commentary on a collapsing country yet...and I have read some crazy shit this week.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:29 | 999151 SilverBaron
SilverBaron's picture

Why is right!

Makes about as much sense as obummer getting the nobel peace prize.  WTF

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:06 | 999358 mach777
mach777's picture

It seems TPTB aren't completely without a sense of humor.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:11 | 998921 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Looks like its a race to the bottom.

It has come to the attention of the United States Mint that several private commercial businesses are advertising so-called "Barack Obama Presidential $1 Coins," as well as commemorative half-dollar coins, American Eagle Silver Coins and multi-coin sets bearing images of the President-Elect. These advertisements feature genuine United States coins that the private commercial businesses have altered by affixing a colorized image to the coin. Additionally, some businesses have treated the coins by gold-plating them.

These items are not official United States Mint products. Furthermore, these products, businesses, and advertisements are not approved, endorsed, sponsored, or authorized by the United States Mint, the Department of the Treasury, or the United States Government.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:20 | 998934 GIANTKILR
GIANTKILR's picture

This is so symbolic of our entire economic system! What a great idea for a coin!

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:37 | 998951 aztrader
aztrader's picture

Should show him robbing the vault on the coin.  F'in crook.  Raped the US taxpayer for billions to save the banks....

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:40 | 998954 razorthin
razorthin's picture

He's one scary baldass looking thief.  He stole the gold and left tin.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:48 | 998960 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

Funny thing is, that this pair of Iron coins has more value than the Hank Paulson and their cheaper too.


Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:59 | 998976 Harmonious_Diss...
Harmonious_Dissonance's picture

Iron? No, you are mistaken, it says they are made from cupronickel. This would fit the actual mint practice. Either way, pretty nice. Cheers!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:14 | 999005 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

cupronickel - a 60/40 alloy of copper and nickel

Bronze - an alloy of copper and tin

I see your point !

I would still buy the cupronickel first.

Wouldn't buy the shit anyway but, just sayin.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:20 | 999023 Harmonious_Diss...
Harmonious_Dissonance's picture

lol! I used to build giant heat exchangers for vegas hotels, they used cupronickel, good thermal cunductance & the nickel hels with longevity against corrosion.


Hey look at this tho:

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:39 | 999057 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Commercial Bronze; A copper-zinc alloy (brass) containing 90% copper and 10% zinc

Looks like Hank is playing a copper market hedge?

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:51 | 998964 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

That would be nice to epoxy on the bottom of toilet bowl or urinal.  

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:57 | 998973 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

I wish you would make a commemorative squid and paulson coin with paulson pissing on the taxpayer.

He is a public.figure so he cant do anything.about it.

Even made of copper it would sell in the tens of thousands and zero hedge would be a household name. Your 15 minutes of fame is guaranteed. Dont go dweeby and PG rated on the coin. He needs to be pissing or shitting on america. I proudly put this idea in the public domain with no ownership interest. Just reserve ten for me to buy.

Fri, 02/25/2011 - 23:59 | 998977 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Hank's gonna need more than 3" for falcon

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:00 | 998978 UninterestedObserver
UninterestedObserver's picture

I bought 5 - for target practice, 200,400,600,800 and 1000 yards

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:02 | 998983 props2009
Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:12 | 999003 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Words fail. I want to puke.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:26 | 999024 poor fella
poor fella's picture

I would purchase a roll of Blythe Masters coins if they had an inverse relief of her wide open beaver on one side and Carl Cox's c**k on the other. Could be an interesting design with an animated affect when you spin it.

But, my ultimate Earthly purpose is to take a 100 oz. silver bar, hammer it into a long thin dildo, polished up all nice-like, and send it to Jamie Dimon to find out how well it fits up his anus....

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:22 | 999026 Warrivar
Warrivar's picture

im sure a well placed shot to the head can yield some 3" peices of hank. no where near as much as the USmint can produce though.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:37 | 999056 drswhaley
drswhaley's picture

Available ( )


Or not? ( )


Click the second link, hit add to cart, and it will add it to your cart despite it not being available.    It asks you where you heard about the product but zerohedge is not an option - what do I do?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:46 | 999071 poor fella
poor fella's picture

Seriously though, nobody is going to have these but Honk and his family and friends. Could be a rarity. One of the key individuals involved in the second Dark Ages. Also, I'm starting to think the regular 'ole rag currency I hold (yes FRNs), are going to be collectors items. How many people actually have bills? Same as holding Yugoslavian, Zimbabwaen, Czech, Dutch, old revolutionary script, etc.... Even worthless currency is art and worth collecting.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:59 | 999190 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Yeah anyone know where I can get a stack of the Zimbawaen trillion dollar bills?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:48 | 999081 jomama
jomama's picture

just knowing this scumbag ever walked the earth is enough to ruin my day.  

why the fuck would i ever want to look at him if i didn't have to?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:55 | 999093 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Rather than pissing and moaning on ZH on a Friday night, I tried something different for a change.   I just picked up 65 oz of silver coinage for $10 under spot {for the lot not per oz}.  What a feeling!  (not that I have anything in particular against pissing and moaning on ZH on Friday night mind you, its just that when the opportunity is there, you have to grab it.)

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 00:58 | 999099 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture




Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!