This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Zero Hedge Announces the 2010 Winner of the Chauncey Gardner and Dr. Laurence J. Peter Award for Excellence in Recruiting Failure
Zero Hedge is nothing if not about the persistent, even dogged pursuit of unusual (even alarmingly unusual) angles of research. When our totally uncompensated interns catch a scent wafting noxiously from the halls of power, no social secretary of any station will prevent them running down the source of the malodorous smell. So when publicity hungry former bailout prodigy Neel Kashkari goes Kaczynski in some "off the map" corner of Nowhere, Nevada County, California, (but not quite so nowhere that a Washington Post reporter is unable to pen a puff-piece on location, or too far out of range to get Bloomberg alerts on your Blackberry, or so remote that a search for yourself on Gawker is impossible to conduct) Zero Hedge is there.
Unsurprisingly, Kashkari typically still has his Blackberry handy to run the sort of trivial calculations that we all encounter in our day to day lives. Just like the old days! To wit:
We have $11 trillion residential mortgages, $3 trillion commercial mortgages. Total $14 trillion. Five percent of that is $700 billion. A nice round number.
But it is his ability to maintain perspective that brands deposed Bailout Czar Kashkari as a truly unique not-a-regulator regulator.
This makes $700 billion seem small.
Yeah, Cashy-K (cachet?), but that might actually have more to do with the fact that you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence. Good thing your wife is able to heft 11-foot pieces of cedar trim, or that cabin in the woods might look more like the CMBS crap that currently weighs down the Fed's balance sheet, no?
How wonderful that the fate of the modern financial world rested for seven months (and probably still teeters in the aftermath) on the shoulders of a "man" so singularly unsuited for the job that Washington, D.C. broke him into a dozen pieces, about six of which seem to have found their way back into the puzzle- though it is not clear yet if they are even positioned correctly.
How telling is it that the Washington Post seems to think this is a quaint human interest story about the human cost of the crisis? We suppose that we will now have to bail out the Post with some Federal cash? At Zero Hedge, on the other hand, we need no further evidence to preemptively award next year's Chauncey Gardner and Dr. Laurence J. Peter Award for Excellence in Recruiting Failure to Mr. Neel T. Kashkari. Congratulations, K2. The only way is up.
»
- 7987 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
from Clusterstock
Managing The Bailout Made Neel Kashkari Addicted To Doritos, And Caused Him To Move To The Woodshttp://www.businessinsider.com/being-in-charge-of-700-billion-drove-neel...
Oh, that poor man! Let's all pitch in for a bailout to help him cure his Doritos addiction.
He's still a little biiitch. Send him back to the SAC Trading Academy.
1. He was driven made when he gazed into the black hole of infinite debt. "And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
2. He is hiding out. After all when people lose their minds and the bankers relocate off shore or in Blackwater protected compounds he'll need to keep a low profile to escape the crazed bankrupt Americans.
Also we know he was not up to the task. Point to most anyone in a position of power and I'll show you someone who is not qualified to be there. Anyone else remember that lowly law check in charge of the GM takeover? Or how about Mr. Storch formerly of Goldman and now working for the SEC. How long before we put some kid still in undergrad in charge of the FDIC...though that might be an improvement. We are the blind being led by blind thieves.
Shameful, you are exactly right. He was driven mad when he gazed into the black-hole of infinite debt. Since our culture will shift radically in unexpected ways as the capital structure of the whole world implodes, moving to a remote cabin, armed and self-sufficient, might buy a little time.
Black-holes have a tendency to be voraciously unstoppable. The time for anyone -Alan Greenspan-being up to the task of extinguishing the once tiny black hole is at least decade back. Anyway, the bill is due.
Cataclysms of all kinds are commonplace in the Universe.
And the next question is from pick your bias category:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases
"But the number is small"
a gamblers fallacy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gambler%27s_fallacy
has someone mentioned VEGAS?
Another GS re-tread. Was senior advisor to Henry ('Hank') Paulson when he was the Treasury Secretary, before moving to the office of Financial Stability in charge of purchases through TARP.
Hank's forth coming book "On the Brink" that Neel is helping with - should provide some VERY interesting reading. Wonder how much 'spin' it will contain? No doubt coming off painting them both as selfless hero's!
I would like to read that, but spending the hours to do so, while entertaining the fact I wouldn't believe a word he says, tells me I won't.
I hope it has dinosaurs and space aliens! If he is going to spin a tale of lies and magic then he might as well add in some juicy stuff. Maybe he could have a horror spin to it and get Stephan King to co-author it with him. You know have Paulson match up with Pennywise in downtown DC for a grudge match.
LOL! I'm reading House of Cards right now, by William D. Cohan. I was not too far into it and he started citing what the master shit spinners on CNBC were saying that day, and it turned me off immediately. I forced myself to go on, but it changed my entire outlook on the book.
Reminded of that time tested koan. Carry water. Chop wood. Stick wood up taxpayers ass.
Someone, fax this (below) to the Charmian Ben please:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illusion_of_control
Kashkari is now a metaphor. All the wizards of wall street must leave the city of glass and steel to put their profits of fraud, gambling, and paper misrepresentations of reality toward their comfort.
It is easy to dupe, subvert, defraud, and gainsay. It is somewhat easy to collect the well printed paper IOUs of such fraud and afterward to anonymously seek to buy of the honest.
Framing a fit existence or even a small cabin requires wrestling with the real. Plumb, square, level, and sound must always defy the crooked.
Good luck in building when your whole system of orienteering is based upon the slippery, variable, and whimsical nature of the Wall Street lie.
You have built a foundation upon sand in a flood drainage and must sleep the rest of your days worrying whether the work of your hands is sufficient to keep the roof above you from crashing and smothering out your insignificant life.
Flying the strait and narrow is the only pathway to true security and soundness. In life, business, and government.
No comfort when one has nursed cockatrices within their breast.
Heavy.
--and THAT is why I love Anonymous.
...and that is why i return your love... gratefully, humbly,
ANONYMOUSLY!
Kashkari wasn't ready or qualified for the job, but you're veering off into cruelty here, I do believe.
Frankly, I put him in the same category of mirror-gazing sleaze as Spitzer (ethics lectures at Harvard? Seriously?) To so shamelessly court the public eye even as the consequences of your incompetence continue to burn unabated in the background, and to do so from your private "bailout" retreat from Washington, D.C. (but not, it seems, from the Washington Post) is the kind of thinly veiled narcissism that simply begs for other than Marquess of Queensberry rules. The whole thing stinks not just of contrived farce, but farce so blatant, so naked and so transparent that merely offering it to readers as anything other than clearly labeled satire insults even the most attenuated intelligences (and among regular readers of the Washington Post, that's really saying something).
'attenuated intelligences'
*falls in love*
-MobStaryEyesBarley
We love it when you talk dirty to us Marla.
Let alone the fact that his "cabin" is nicer than 90% of the primary residences of the hoi polloi.
How much do you want to bet he has a "wine-fridge" somewhere underneath the granite countertops?
You gotta love how they make a point of saying that the he chops wood, but only on "fallen or dead trees". He is in CA don't ya' know. Chopping down a living tree for firewood is technically classified as murder there.
I'm going to go lie in the dark and think about this...
Really, don't the Spitzer ethics lectures at Harvard tell us far more about Harvard than about Spitzer or ethics?
Surely you are joking. Do you work for GS as that is the only "excuse" you could have for your posting.
Screw him and his smug "we're here to save the world" chorts from GS...what a disaster.
Remember, he had a choice when asked if he wanted the job.
Aren't those whiz kids supposed to be able to answer that basic question?
I guess he should be thankful that he even got mentioned here at ZH, sac o'shit cash-me-out carry
Kaczynski, Kosinski, Kashkari; how nice
I'm betting we could get a guest post from Kashkari.
An article like this one causes me to lose respect for ZH. It
is based upon nothing--except possibly personal frustration
and bitterness.
And just when this website was starting to gain national
credibility....
There is a point where you simply can no longer let such absurdity go without comment. That somehow anyone... anyone at all... felt that this article was a good idea boggles the mind. We cannot simply sit and shake our heads at such folly. I am more than happy to leave Mr. Kashkari be, absurd character though he is, until he (or his agent?) goes to such character-restoring lengths so as to self-embed a Washington Post reporter during his manic wood chopping/Washington isolation campaign. Honestly, when are we permitted to finally call foul? The quote "ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions" is often attributed to Jefferson. Accurate or not, the premise applies here. In spades. I suggest you read our Open Letter to the Financial Media. Apparently, it applies equally to the Washington Post.
I have been instrumental in disseminating ZH to some of
America's most important policymakers. My bad, not yours--
I just got the purpose of this website wrong, and I won't
make the same mistake again.
P.S. You should spend a chunk of time with Neel, and then
see if you feel the same way.
And you should spend some up close and personal time with the consequences, but then, you'd probably still feel - nothing.
ZH could be used to educate the general public as well as
Congressmen and Senators about why the Fed needs to be
audited. That might help put an end to the current monetary
madness. Posts like the one about Neel simply serve to
diminish the credibility of ZH, and, therefore, its ability
to positively influence outcomes.
Someone is very sore about this... Neel, that you? You are missing the part of the post (and conversation) that makes this about the media's handling of the whole case rather than just about the man himself. Who is, perhaps, allowing/attracting this attention onto himself. Perhaps starting a campaign sometime soon...? Paulson/NK 2012? http://abcnews.go.com/Business/neel-kashkari-leaves-washington-dc-califo...
The Fed, Treasury and even Neel knew the size and contents of the powderkeg they were sitting on. It was only when the fuse had burned down to the last inch that they saw fit to take action by introducing the 'wider public' to a plan that had been made at a minimum 5 months (probably more) earlier.'There's no time, action must be taken now, quick, quick'. Neel is right that in the absence of intervention, results might have been catastrophic. And I do not think he was the one who set this machine in motion. But surely even you must see the problem with a) being in his position and NOT understanding the source of the problem and consequences OR b) knowing full well but being unable/unwilling to speak up or act meaningfully (beyond waiting for the patient to flatline before reviving and administering intensive care - unburdened by any limitations on the mode of treatment at that point).
I guess I have come to expect more from ZH than to simply
point out the obvious in a destructive, as opposed to a
constructive, manner. Neither Neel, nor the press, even
scratch the surface of the problem.
I absolutely agree with the scratching part. But I think much of Marla's gripe was with the charade masquerading as news media, as well as the farce pretending to be a responsible, representative gov't. The less-than-jovial tone aside, she did provoke some discussion and thought on the matter - does that not count as constructive?
Won't YOU use that carkey and put a nice, jagged scratch into the surface for us?
The fox is guarding the hen house, and people are being led
to believe that the current custodians are the only ones
who possess the propriety knowledge necessary to qualify
as sentries for the public good. The mission of ZH, should
they decide to accept it, is to demystify financial
knowledge, and in the process, help train new guards.
...my only gripe is that you left out his GPS co-ordinates :(
The WaPo/Kashkari puff was a catch-up piece on the BAILOUT HEROS rescuing us from the abyss with borrowed bux and brilliance.
A similarly nauseating piece was done on Rattner in Fortune several months ago. About a non-auto guy recognizing instantly what was wrong with GM as he labored intensely in a Treasury Dept. basement office. Made me wretch.
Good for you Marla. These guys are bag men with bookselling on their minds now.
Amen. Some readers apparently didn't get the joke.
Haha. Perfect manipulation technique. You are not expressing yourself in "just the right way". People were starting to respect how you had been expressing yourself "in just the right way" and were receptive to what you were saying. By expressing this with "bitterness" your "credibility" has dropped. By crossing this "line" of expression what was growing and gaining as an "acceptable" form of expression is no longer valid. And all previous respect and credibility is hereby recinded.
This is America anonymous bitch. We spell it color not colour. Do you have any idea what passes for respectable in the shit hole country run by morally bankrupt, mathematically lying, drug dealing, poor stealing, gang banging mafia assholes. Why the hell would ZeroHedge let you conform and controll it into expressing itself just like the doomed, dying, piddling themselves jack in the box main stream media.
If what I said makes you bitter. Express it. But don't try to make a chicken just so you can screw it with some vague promise of listening to it and caring about it if it moans just the right way.
Now, now....
Hephasteus said:
"...don't try to make a chicken just so you can screw it..."
I hate to point out the obvious, but only God can make chickens. I was hoping that the absurdly large Hadron Collider in Geneva would produce some chickens rather than stray quarks, but it hasn't yet. Thus far, chickens are God's work.
Your metaphors are puzzling, especially the "making/screwing chickens" part. Please advise.
Sorry but you are going to have to go to the library if you want to be involved in this. This is between me and their handlers.
“Thus fools contraiously do all:
They chatter when they should be dumb,
And when they ought to speak, are mum”
Hephasteus said: “Sorry but you are going to have to go to the library if you want to be involved in this.”
Per your request, I walked straight to the library this morning. I finally found a very small section labeled “erotic chicken literature.” There were two books. One was Gay Chickens from Outer Space. The other was The Canterbury Tales.
At first, I thought Holy Cow! This guy is really smart! He’s making allegorical references to The Nun’s Priest’s Tale! Chickens and everything! Amazing!
On closer inspection though, I find your allusion to Chanticleer more obscure than witty. It doesn’t quite fit your point. Isn’t it primarily a tale about predestination, and the supposed influence on how a woman contributed to the fall of man? If anything, Marla is doing the opposite, warning others of the tricks and traps in the world of politics and Wall Street.
I find it wonderfully ironic that you would get this so backwards. I think you should switch chapters to The Pardoner’s Tale. It has a few things to say about irony, which I think you’d find beneficial.
Or perhaps I’ve got you all wrong, and your chickens have nothing to do with Chaucer’s chickens. There is a chance of that, which is why I decided to check out the other book, Gay Chickens from Outer Space. I would feel more than a bit chagrined if your allegory actually came from it instead.
Mark McGoldrick said: "AT first, I thought Holy Cow! This guy is really smart! He's making allegorical reference's to the The Nun's Priest's Tale! Chickens and everything! Amazing!"
Oh you sing so beautfully!!!! I'm going to give you a free speach amendmant because you do it so well.
Expression control is thought control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KTCr60BBY
Mark McCormick said " Or perhapes I've got you all wrong, and your chickens have nothing to dow ith Chaucer's chickens. There is a chance of that, which is why I decided to check ou the other book, Gay Chickens from Outer Space. I would feel more than a bit chagrined if your allegory actually came from it instead."
Well now you are just fucking things up by not following the proper ego expression path. I find you're unwillingness to approach this in a mangnamous way disturbing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgfwaskumKE
This reminds me of Continental Divide.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0082200/
Brother Anonymous, there is a lot more here than you are seeing. Look at nationality, guilt, remorse and rebirth - and forgiveness. There is a real reason one moves to the hills. The shit storm is coming brother. Marla offers maybe more than even she has contemplated. :)
Kashkari was Bush's boy wonder. Now Obama has his very own wunderkind in Adam Storch. It seems placing unqualified youngsters from Goldman in very important financial-regulatory posts is a 21st century imperative. It sure makes me sleep easy to know that a bunch of brown-nosing asshats are calling shots down here in DC.
Yeah....and everyone thought the Storch was brain-damaged
He knows something that the vast majority of the sheeple don't - otherwise why head out to the backwoods, in the mountains of Nevada? I don't buy the line that it was for his health! No. Something else is up. Same reason that Goldman execs are starting to arm themselves. I hear the rattling of pitchforks!
This is what I got from the article. That and the guy's personality is so poor, he can only enjoy the company of dogs. Dogs, dogs, dogs. Oh, and Neel and his wife have really bad furniture placement.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/copenhagen-climate-change-confe/6736517...
but not to worry
Christmas trees banned for climate summitOnce I made a delivery to Goldman Sachs headquarters when I was a wall st foot-messenger. On the elevators they had mirrors and when I beheld myself I looked like Lucifer.
I understood it was the building...anyone that enters that building..that infested pit of demonic activity...the building will turn you into...the Devil himself.
-MobBarley
Neel "I didn't quit, or runaway, I am just decompressing" Kashkari
I see this article as something different than charechterized. This is a man who is hiding, but not for the reasons you cite. He could have gotten a cush job in DC or New York, even if with Republican lobbiest or a foundation. No he is hiding alright, put himself WAY out in the sticks on purpose.
There is a saying in the substance abuse field, "if you want what I got, you have to do what I do". He is doing EXACTLY what he feels is prudent. What did he see? What does he know??
The peni-ultimate insider.
This seems like coy remarks aimed at getting rid of a reporter.
I would tend to agree, and even sympathize a bit with Neel - some roads to hell could even be paved with good intentions. And the award mentioned in the title should belong to Hank the Tank and Big Ben, no? A stroke of genius, a modern-day Hudsucker Proxy (where is Andy D these days, anyway), a man inexperienced, impressionable and naive enough to believe that he was pulling levers and pushing buttons. Ignore the twanging of the marionette strings, Neel, QB Extraordinaire Paulson is telling you to go deep and catch that darn ball...
However, the disturbing part of the whole article is the premeditation: "In February 2008, that meant drafting an emergency plan in the unlikely event of an economic meltdown. Kashkari and a colleague wrote, "Break the Glass: Bank Recapitalization Plan." When the banks actually tanked later that year, the 10-page plan laid the basis for TARP. Amid the chaos, Kashkari was appointed czar." And Neel-o did commit a serious faux-pas by allowing himself to be used in the WaPo piece - this is no act of contrition - that would involve admitting failure or misdeed. But hey, a man's basest instinct is self-preservation, and the WaPo article is just a brick in Paulson's propaganda campaign. Neel felt he could not cross the big guy - maybe fawning at his former boss earns him brownie points, extra protection, heads-up rights, whatever. Maybe he was given a "suggestion" that disappearing is not enough, he needs to back up the Fed-Squid-TPTB party line actively.
But yes, my feeling too is that this is no temporary detox trip. And if Neel thinks he needs (and can get) added protection from whatever's coming by continuing to suck up to HP et al, that only makes me more worried.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/21266810/Too-Big-To-Fail-Confidential-Break-th...
Earlier "puff" (?) piece from WSJ, 2008: http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2008/10/10/neel-kashkari-a-portrait-of-the-70...
lol, I saw those pictures. Still has his blackberry I see, does that thing pump out the 0day? Does he post on the net? The 0day history book? Enjoy your resort bitch. Some of us don't have the luxury.
Every man can repent through some truth telling, and not when he's on his deathbed.
He's chosing his path, that a of liar with occasional crumbs of the real dope thrown out for his conscience. "It's a big amorphous unknown, what's going to happen to our economy. And the shed is solid, measurable. It's going to be around for the next 30 years. It's the opposite of amorphous."
He is going to help Hank Paulson with his book "On The Brink" - more over-the-top world was going to end lies lies lies.
He deserves every critical eye and word thrown at him.
When the Devil showed up...did you think he would have horns and a tail???
+10
You have made my day
DRIVEL
what is that supposed to mean?
do you have any TRUE insight (i.e., do you know the players or ANYONE that is REMOTELY connected to the subject at hand) to add or is this just another infantile comment (like others you have made on this site?)
Zerohedge should consider making a facebook fan page.
To the victor goes the spin.
To the spin goes the quark coupling.
Marla, an old lady in Kansas ADMIRES your anger and unique way of expressing it. Good job! Give 'em hell!!!
It's stunning that a 27 year old was put in charge of $700 billion.
There is no amount of education that prepared him for that.
It's only 700 billion...that's not even real money anymore. I'm sure congress is convinced they could find that in the couch cushions in the capital building.
Billion is so 2008.
He looked at Medusa ( Paulson) and now he is wandering around the woods mumbiling to himself and sure to go blind in time.
the guy's in Truckee, hardly in the sticks, nice shed though.
Neel is hiding out in a multi-million dollar rustic region of Lake Tahoe where an acre or more of property is very expensive... smart to be on the Nevada side so he doesn't get caught up in CA state madness or have to pay their income tax. All the silicon valley wonks have abodes up near Truckee and incline village.
Kacyzinsky or KashKari
Financial Unabomber Hides Out
Tall Pines Whisper
Chauncey Gardner nails it, the man is a cypher.
i could care less about the warm, backwoods story. all these cats are criminals. one thing i am certain of, none of them will be taking any of their ill-gotten gains with them on their final destination. i don't care how many mansions you have, how many cars you own, that you eat the finest foods money can buy, drink the most expensive wines in the universe, wear the highest priced fashions ... you're going out naked my brothers. naked... with nothing.
what I want to know is where do we stand on all the GS pyrogeny that run hedge funds on which Tyler was working on an expose.... you know, all off the Rubin offspring. All of the GS wunderkind...in that short list was Frank Brosens (a heavy Obama fund raiser --- who was not shy about hitting up his clients (institutional allocators)to attend the fund raisers at a cost of whatever the limit an individual can contribute)of TACONIC CAPITAL. He was supposed to get Neel's spot (as "payment" for his fundraising) but fretted over the lengthy confirmation process, instead begging off due to an interuption of his kid"s academic calendar, you know switching from schools in NYC to DC. Hey, Brosens, wouldn"t she be at Sidwell Friends and closer to the Obama nexus of power and much better off than you could hope from your offices on Park Avenue??? Come on, inquiring minds reallly want to know --- why did you turn down Kashkari"s job when Obama gave it to you on a silver platter???
Line that struck me most in the story was that he first began to pray while at Treasury.
I guess those doing "god's work" chez Blankfein don't need to bother with that nonsense....
Truckee, got my chips cashed in
Truckee, like a doo-dah man
Arrows on charts and flashing big boards up on Wall Street
Chicago, New York and Detroit all gonna fall street
Your typical cities involved the typical banksters
Hang it up, and see what tomorrow brings
In Truckee...
That article was sur-friggin-real. But fits nicely with the way our world works. Save the world as we know it.... Youre so fatigued after figuring out that 5% of 14T is 700B and presenting it to congress who you say were only PRETENDING to grill you....so you head back to the guru lair and pretend to be earthy. Which implies that you are in touch with reality at some level which further implies that the decisions that you made/actions that you took were grounded in common sense. I could go on, but what's the point?
Things are so far out of whack that sound parsing of today's world sounds like extremist blather.
paulson dry heaving how's that for a visual?
The first rule of Shaved Head Club is that you never talk about Shaved Head Club?
Looks like Kashkari has righted the ship enough to take a new job a PIMCO. Maybe he will be in charge of the new Nevada County, CA office?
Broke down in Truckee once....ended up staying for over a year.
Good times....