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BaNZai7's PoSTCaRDS FRoM THe PaRaDiSe Of SCaNDaLS: FLoRiDa PRiMaRY CoVeRaGe 2012

williambanzai7's picture




 

"The Sunshine State is a paradise of scandals teeming with drifters, deadbeats, and misfits drawn here by some dark primordial calling like demented trout. And you'd be surprised how many of them decide to run for public office."--Carl Hiaasen, author and native Floridian

Anyone who has spent some time in Florida, knows what the postcards are all about.

"Florida is a victim of it's own geography."--Carl Hiaasen

 

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MAP OF FORECLOSURELAND

 

THE CONSULTANT

 THE CONSULTANT

Notice how Florida Law Enforcement uses caps in "DEC".

NEWTZILLA 2012

NEWTZILLA versus MITT KONG
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NEWT ATTACK

 

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VISITORS FROM PLANET O

 

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2012 A BUFFOON ODYSSEY

 

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THE CLOWN JUMPED OVER THE MOON

h/t (This was a request and I am embarassed to say I can't remember the handle of the trader who requested it on twitter)

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JABBER THE NEWT

 

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BARF RACE 2012

 

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HURRICANE NEWT
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CALLISTA: WISH YOU WERE HERE
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DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS
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PASTOR TERRY JONES
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SHAMU GINGRICH THE MANATEE

 

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NEWTON GINGRICH BACK TO SCHOOL

 

 

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NEWTON LEROY: USED CAR CONSULTANT
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CALLISTA GINGRICH-SAUSAGE FRUIT PLANTATION 2012
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FLIP ROMNEY MARINELAND

 

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DROP IN ANY TIME

 

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ROMNEY'S CRUISE TO NOWHERE
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RICK SANTORUM: SPRING BREAK WARM UP
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MOONBASE ZOMBIE
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HOLLYWOOD BEACH UNCUT
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OH THE HUGE MANATEE!
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ORANGE CALLISTA

CALLISTA HEADGAME
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VINTAGE CAMPAIGN BUTTON

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PROFESSIONAL COURTESY

 

CALLISTA LETS HER HAIR DOWN

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CALLISTA UNDRESSED

 

NEWT GETS IT UP

DOUCHEBAG MOJO (FINAL)
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YESTERDAY'S HEADLINE

MITT ZOMBIE IS A ROBOT!

 

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SHIT HAPPENED CAMPAIGN BUTTON

 

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GOP MUTATIONS
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AND NOW IN THE TRADITION OF SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST...

 

YOJIM-PAUL (GOP RONIN)
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THE OUTLAW RON PAUL

h/t @Ian56789 (an RP fan) for this idea

SPAULICUS
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h/t @Marcellachella (another big RP fan) for this idea

 

FLORIDA DOG RUN 2012
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h/t Howard Beale for helping me execute the Florida Dog Run Card which is available as a dog bowl and T-shirt in the Banzai7 shop.

WB7: I posted these in the exact order that I created them.

I have been working on them since last Tuesday, in between all the other Davos, hockey, SOPA, Pole Dancing and other stuff...Pole dancing?

 

Yes pole dancing! As seen live on the Keiser Report...:  maxkeiser.com/2012/01/28/kr242-keiser-report-state-of-the...

 

POLEMAN SACHS

 

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MISS MAGNATART
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Your kind patronage is always appreciated by the visual maniac known as WilliamBanzai7...

.

                                             Make custom custom Banzai7 gifts at Zazzle

 

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Tue, 01/31/2012 - 19:00 | 2114601 johnjkiii
johnjkiii's picture

This sounds alot like California

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 18:07 | 2114426 stant
stant's picture

ron truly is the man with no name. at least as far as main stream media is concerned.  but hes not hard to find leaves lying politicions where ever he goes. kept those colt navys close ron

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 17:59 | 2114398 RocketmanBob
RocketmanBob's picture

Dude!

Visitors from Planet O! is dead on! But I have to say, you've injured me bro. There's not enough mind-bleach on earth to erase the image of the Newt in a mankini :)

And the posters of Paul as an outlaw and a gladiator are awesome.

Too bad there are so many losers masquerading as our leaders, but it inspires you to some brilliant, and cutting, satire my man.

My Regards

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:54 | 2114125 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

Poleman Sachs and Miss Magnnatart - their true calling! Thanks WB7.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:52 | 2113743 thecoloredsky
thecoloredsky's picture

My co-worker thinks your shit ain't funny. There ain't much room for love in this world but you hold a tiny place in my heart, Mr Banzai. Keep up the good work bro.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:11 | 2113844 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Do you work with Tim Geithner? ;-)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:45 | 2114062 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Poleman Sachs is Epic! Good work.. again.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:18 | 2113640 Flocking swans
Flocking swans's picture

Great work and congrats on making it onto the Max Keiser show!....

.... I  think callista could use a porno-doll mouth... some kneepads...and "something about mary" in her hair...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:46 | 2113520 MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

Come to Florida for vacation. Go home on probation.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:39 | 2114025 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

When you cross into Fl you will see large bill boards advertising bail bondsmen along with their phone numbers. Write one down on your forearm so you can't lose it. They take cash, PMs or travelers checks... no personal checks. If you don't do anything really, really stupid, you won't need the number.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:55 | 2113552 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That has a ring of truth ;-)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:53 | 2113746 surfwon
surfwon's picture

Banzai you fucker.......... please give a warning when posting such brilliant work....... I just spit on my monitor and now its smoking and pissed my pants laughing............ what brilliance........

keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:39 | 2113501 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

WB7 - "Breaking Awesomeness At The Speed of Light" on the MUCH NEEDED Path to SANITY!!!  THANK YOU!!!!!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:38 | 2113496 resurger
resurger's picture

Great Art WB7

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:18 | 2113434 DogSlime
DogSlime's picture

"Oh The HugeManatee!"

Fucking Hilarious!

Great work WB :)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:43 | 2113311 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Oh the Huge Manatee??     Bwahahahaaa!!!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:09 | 2113384 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

This theme looks familiar, WB7. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, it would seem -- and we clearly have a ZH reader:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7003/6789563359_fafe0d90e4_o.jpg

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:36 | 2113695 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Grate stuff.      Maybe there's some room for a Moby Newt and Capt Mitthab?

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:53 | 2113547 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I always thought copyright law was boring. This whole issue of SOPA, PIPA and ACTA and internet culture as well as my own style of "detournement" has piqued my interest in the subject of fair use, adaptative works, transformative works, derivative works, satirical use, parody copying, artisit intellectual property rights etc. and I am doing all the relevant reading.

I don't know whether or not this guy saw what I did, but I think what I did is much funnier. I note that he has gone out of his way to put all kinds of copyright notices on his work, which is curious. Generally, cartoonization is a way to avoid copyright problems if you are selling a work for commercial purposes. I would never try to sell a "Honey Mooner" image.

In any event, I have alreay seen plenty of my ideas imitated for commercial use. My attitude? I'm not very bothered because I don't worry about about I am going to come up with next. I have a backlog of ideas ;-)

AND NOW FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF...THE ROMNEYMOONERS

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 18:02 | 2114412 RocketmanBob
RocketmanBob's picture

I thought this work was very insightful, and captures the not-a-dime's-difference between these two, practically speaking.

Indeed, their clashes are purely ego driven; Mittenz thinks it's his turn, and the Newt seems to think he missed his, or something like that.

Both need to just go home...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:39 | 2113709 Kipper und Wipp...
Kipper und Wipperzeit's picture

Romney looks the slightest bit like Tom Waits in this photo and it's buggin' me out.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:21 | 2113225 Sk84life
Sk84life's picture

I cant stop laughing!  Condo flipper lol lol lol lol!  hahaha!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:21 | 2113220 Big Swinging Richard
Big Swinging Richard's picture

WB-

Still wiping the coffee off my screens.  F&$cking hysterical!  As someone who is still proud to be from the Sunshine State, what is happening there right now is not only an embarrassment to the GOP, but to the body politic in the US.  Go Seminoles!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:25 | 2113240 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Every trip I have made to Florida has been a blast.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:31 | 2113966 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

WB7 Great Work! I've lived in Fl the past 32 years and would not consider moving to another state.

This is the only state where the local newspapers carry stories that put the Natl Inquirer in the shade.

About 10-12 years ago Florida Dept of Tourism ran a nationwide tourisim campaign and the lead was "FLORIDA, THINGS ARE DIFFERENT HERE"... they are not kidding.

All the quirky people eventually land in Vegas or Florida... They are accepted because so many of the people living here are from elsewhere.

Hiaasen is a pretty good scribbler but not in Elmore Leonards league, nor in competition with John McDonald, who wrote thrillers about a Florida that no longer exists. If you haven't read any Elmore Leonard you could do worse than 'Maximum Bob'... one of the main characters is a crazy-as -a-shit- house-rat judge that presides over a small fishing/sugar cane village on the West Bank of Lake Okeechobee. I doubt that there is much fiction in this novel... lol

 

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 16:46 | 2114066 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I love Elmore Leonard as well.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:51 | 2113339 Big Swinging Richard
Big Swinging Richard's picture

WB-

Check out Daytona during biker week or Panama City during Spring Break.  Knee deep in rednecks and beer. Great for people watching. 

http://www.daytonachamber.com/bikeweek/gallery/search/index.cfm 

http://clublavela.com/

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:18 | 2113214 Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture

funny, thanks!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:17 | 2113212 fledermaus
fledermaus's picture

Wife and I just voted Ron Paul in North Palm Beach County.  They said it's been steady since polls opened at 7AM I voted around 10:30AM. 

-Put up Ron Paul yard signs outside 3 voting places & put Ron Paul issue cards in some mailboxes. No other signs were out at the polling place -ONLY Ron Paul signs-  So although he didn't campaign here, some of us are trying to fight the good fight, here in beautiful Flori-DUH...

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:08 | 2113174 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Simply Genius! Simply Hilarious!  

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:07 | 2113173 STP
STP's picture

Best one  yet WB!!! We were busting up and snorting on the great and superbly sarcastic (and sadly, real!) art-satire that you're pulling off.  Excellent, excellent stuff and keep it up, we love it!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:01 | 2113146 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

 "I can see the Huge Manatee...from my house...". Welcome to Florida. Home of the True Nutters.  We get almost as many people as California on the all time list of whackjobs and nutjobs.

Thanks for spotlighting the insanity WB! 

This is what we have to put up with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiGYIicuAns

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:07 | 2113169 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Well California is giving you a run for your money today with the story of the pedophile prevert school teacher in LA.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:23 | 2113422 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

 

 

In Florida, if a 17 year old stands on a chair and peaks over the fence at you sun bathing nude, you ( the sun bather) are subject to up to LIFE in jail and a PERMANENT listing on the sexual-deviant list for the rest of your life.  That requires you to register with the police everytime you move (or plan to be away for more then 10 days) and monthly checkins, your name is posted in the newspaper and the community you move to is informed door to door of your presence.

There are now over 60,000 on that list for "crimes" such as noted above in just about two years time.   

Correction Corporation of America is very happy doing Gods work in Florida

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:58 | 2113139 malalingua
malalingua's picture

I want ALL the RON PAUL ones for postcards! You are the MAN!

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:56 | 2113134 goldencrumbs
goldencrumbs's picture

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:55 | 2113124 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Outstanding WB7! I'm off to find the Windex again... (must not drink any beverages while viewing Banzai's works of art)

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:54 | 2113122 goldencrumbs
goldencrumbs's picture

Made my day!  I had to move to Miami 5 months ago and it has been an adventure. literally.  Took the fam-damly on an airboat tour of the Everglades and learned how non-native pythons are so huge and fierce they're eating allligators whole. Kid you not. Then listening to some hair club for men member on Bloomberg last night talk about how everything is "priced in" and "the market has digested this info already" my mind went back to this image.  Sometimes digestion doesn't go so well.

Wildlife researchers with the South Florida Natural Resources Center found the dead, headless python in October 2005 after it apparently tried to digest a 6-foot-long (2-meter-long) American alligator. The mostly intact dead gator was found sticking out of a hole in the midsection of the python, and wads of gator skin were found in the snake's gastrointestinal tract.

The gruesome discovery suggests that the python's feisty last meal might have been simply too much for it to handle.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:05 | 2113164 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Truthfully, I could go on with Florida for another week.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:04 | 2113376 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

 

 

As long as we are on the subject of snakes..Bill, you need to look into the live and times of Marco Rubio.  He spits out SOPA, PIPA, and other assorted venom that would make Castro proud to call him nephew.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:37 | 2113285 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

its the place Bush stole the 2000 election,  without Bush there was no 9/11, what has happened since that 2000 moment is the wholesale bankrupting of the greatest country on earth, duplicity, followed by complicity.  i am waiting for one of these GOP people to take aim at the Bush years, and publically admit what a mistake (shit does not happen, when you have a lot monkeys like these most of it is thrown) their previous POTUS was. even Obama stopped blasting Bush as soon as the votes were counted. when he should have been reaching for the handcuffs, he started talking about moving forward, you knew the fix was in. the problem in Hollywood terms is that there are too many caped crusaders on the movie screen, and not enough people in high office with enough common decency to make them highly outraged enough to recognize even the most heinous crime.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:39 | 2113502 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

brother Jebs Sec of State Kathleen Harris was up to her neck in voter fraud. she later ran for Senator? but the Bush coattails were already shortening. she was rejected.

but until the USA gets over Bush and 9/11, because they really are the same thing, this country is going to remain a perverse version of the last days of Rome, with the current emperor Obamus only serving to prove to the people that each leader can and will be progressively worse than the one before it, and that the process of disintegration on the social and political level is a very large can to be kicked down a very long road.

we're better than that I think

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:47 | 2113324 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Hacking Democracy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rVTXbARGXso

Someone posted this earlier. Good glimpse of how corrupt the process is/was, especially in FL.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 14:46 | 2113519 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

in CA sec of state Debra Bowen outlawed the Diebold voting machines

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:16 | 2113624 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Since your Democrat friends in Mexifornia run a gerrymander that translates 51% of the votes into 75% of the state legislature, the voting machines are irrelevant. The entire system is a fraud, and the state a smoking socialist ruin.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:46 | 2113726 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

your ignorance is appalling, the state leg no longer gerrymanders, they have an independent board

of course we remember when Bush and his ENRON pals raked our grandmothers over the electricty scandal. no BUSH has ever carried California, and probably never will. i guess we know crap when we smell it.

additionally i have heard you people who don't like Mexicans, and assume you are from a superior European race, which is what half of Mexico is, with remnants of two or three great civilizations Mayan, Aztec, Inca.

then maybe your'e something special like Irish? hmmm.

you are neither compassionate nor fascist i suspect but your cultural flame throwing is just well, low brow

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 13:59 | 2113363 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

The corruption in Florida probably comes from all those retirees from Chicago, including (of course) the dead ones. It was the dead that had trouble understanding the 2000 ballot in neighboring Palm Beach County, where the ballot was designed by a Democrat.

The postcard saying Welcome to Florida first came to my attention after Hurricane Wilma. Newt deserves a minor transitory cloud, not a major tropical storm.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 15:09 | 2113604 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

No, it was "holocaust survivors". Of whom, remarkably enough, there are more and more every year.

Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:46 | 2113081 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

RP = "Slayer, slayer!"

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