A Customer and Creditor's Guide to the MF Global Bankruptcy; Background & What Needs to Be Done, Pronto

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Thu, 11/10/2011 - 17:08 | 1867634 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

A cesspool of crack whore excrement would be insulted by the comparison!

Just walked out of the local bank, stop by the lady loan officer to talk, she looked a little distraught, she advised that the local bio fuel plant has just declared bankruptsy, was not paying for all the soybeans that were sold. Looks like the local farmers are going to have a pitchfork party tonight!

When are the little pussies in the financial sector going to get their pitchforks out or are they mortgaged too?

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:59 | 1867592 MrBoompi
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As long as we allow banks or firms like MF Global to use debt as collateral, this will happen over and over again.  A promise to pay is not the same thing as having the money.  I know this is not the way the world works today, but IMO it is also why it is so fucked up.

 

 

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:08 | 1867031 CustomersMan
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Jack Shemtob, 53, was seen falling six storeys and landing in the lobby of TfL's offices in Greenwich.

Several security guards who saw his fall in the atrium were granted leave after being left traumatised.

A source claimed that the married father of two, a TfL employee for about 30 years, fell soon after human resources told him he was losing his job as part of the company's cost- cutting programme.

"Everyone is really shocked," said the source. "He just took the lift to the sixth floor, climbed over the barrier and fell into the main entrance.

"This guy was of a certain age and clearly he didn't react well to being told he was going to have to leave. The security staff are in a right state. It was a gruesome sight.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:30 | 1867151 NotApplicable
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Well, at least he didn't jump?

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:53 | 1866954 PaperBear
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“Currently, over $500,000,000 in customer segregated funds is missing from MF Global Inc”

Anyone taking from segregated funds should be put to death, it’s a simple as that.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:31 | 1867155 NotApplicable
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Well, obviously, they weren't segregated. :-/

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:13 | 1866762 Shizzmoney
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Full Tilt Poker times 100000 here

Mother Fuckin' Global!

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:04 | 1866698 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I am shocked..., shocked and stunned that they haven't come up with a "rogue trader" to hang this on.

That can only mean that the stink goes all the way to the head, and they have no choice but to stall, lie, and cover-up forever, a la Monica Lewinsky, POTUS fraudulent birth certificate, __________ (fill in your favorite outrage against the rule of law and civilized behavior).

 

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:00 | 1867298 Stax Edwards
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It is like Corzine loves big government so much he was willing to fund BK governments with his clients money, knowing that governments obviously know better how to spend it.  

I mean his clients, what the hell do they know? I mean they were willing to put their hard earned money into the hands of a crook like JC.  In his mind they deserved to lose their ass.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 13:55 | 1866655 Darth..Putter
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To put it another way is that digital currency is not worth the paper it's not written on?

 

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 13:23 | 1866541 Joebloinvestor
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I think the CME will end up making victims whole.

It had a responsibility, plus it doesn't need the stink.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:00 | 1866686 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

The CME is obligated to pay out on defaulted contracts.  This is probably why the Fed gave JPM 600 million to hand over to MF Global customers.  The customers have enough to liquidate and limp away.  If they had just walked away, the CME would have been on the hook to payout on every position.  I doubt the CME would have lasted a week.

This is the same reason the CME launches margin raids when the bankers and miners are getting murdered on PM shorts.  If the bankers and miners are uncovered to have no product and default in spike, the CME has to pay out.

Basicly, the CME needs to wake the fuck up and start enforcing its own rules.  The CME itself is going to be holding the bag in the end.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:33 | 1867162 NotApplicable
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And that bag, it will be empty.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:16 | 1866253 PulauHantu29
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'Missing Half a Billion?'

I hate when that happens.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:50 | 1866945 fonestar
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Half a Billion?  PUH-LEASE!!

It takes quadrillions, or at least trillions of worthless fiat-debt money to get attention these days!

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:19 | 1866225 steve from virginia
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Welcome to 21st century America, where 'customer' is a dirty word.

Next, we will all be reading how McDonalds' Big Mac is made out of poison. Death to the hated 'customers'.

US banking not quite to the level of TEPCO which slowly kills its customer's children while aiming to blow to atoms hundreds of thousands more!

Business keeps raising the bar ... on customer abuse!

Better than higher education where the figures of authority are busy butt-fucking their customers-to-be. Let's not talk about the Vatican, where 'sending one up the stovepipe' has special meaning.

What's next? Businesses will be draping their customers' entrails over the branches of trees! Having dogs eat customers' genitals while the customers are still alive. Dragging customers behind vehicles through the middle of town. Burning and crucifying tens of thousands of customers alongside the highways leading out of New York. Putting the severed heads of customers on pikes around the headquarters of JP Morgan-Chase and Bank of NY, Mellon.

Simply robbing customers blind is never enough, if you can't cum inside their children best to torture and slaughter them!

Take that #OWS! Off with your (customers') heads!

Anything but to be an investment bank's customer. Better to be a leper or a crack whore.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 17:01 | 1867600 sgt_doom
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Say, steve, by any chance are you a heperin sales guy?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/10/penn-state-scandal-rumors-sandusky-pimping_n_1086099.html

One has to concur.....

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:04 | 1867318 tickhound
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damn... that was vivid, steve-o.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:56 | 1867284 Stax Edwards
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Very Nice Work SfV!  Laughed so hard it brought a tear to my eye

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:40 | 1866324 reggiehammond
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BEST POST EVER

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:09 | 1866224 Fabio
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Mr Baha of "Wall Street 2" fame and his "Superfund" are among the victims, along with european clients:

http://www.news.at/articles/1145/30/311486/us-pleite-superfund

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:48 | 1866093 jayman21
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Why is this not theft?  If you buy stolen property, and are caught with it, you have to return it.  How is this different?

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:53 | 1867554 V4Vendeta
V4Vendeta's picture

It's only theft if you are caught.

Same same but different.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 14:22 | 1866806 11b40
11b40's picture

Oh, it is theft, and "it's" not different. 

It is "them" that are different.  Were it you or me, we would already be wearing our orange suits.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:41 | 1866067 kaiserhoff
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The auditors are Pricewaterhouse Coopers, and their balls are in a vice.

Stay tuned.  This will be fun.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:19 | 1867090 NotApplicable
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How many people at Arthur Anderson went to jail for Enron?

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:38 | 1867460 kaiserhoff
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86 people went to jail, nearly all of them Enron employees.  Arthur Andersen was destroyed as a firm, and every single employee lost his or her job.  Somehow, that never happens to law firms when they screw up.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:16 | 1865953 markar
markar's picture

I guess I could have condensed this to a one sentence summary: JPM loaned MF hundreds of millions just prior to BK using customer assets as collateral, which they immediately seized and liquidated.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:13 | 1867056 NotApplicable
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Yet not one MFer has been charged. Not even the MFer's at JPM.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 10:58 | 1865882 Dr. Goose
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So, if one's customer account at MF Global is too small to justify engaging a lawyer to recover it, what exactly should one do before the Nov 14 deadline?

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:35 | 1866310 ljag
ljag's picture

Bend over and kiss your $ goodbye while taking it up the ass.

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:37 | 1867184 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

Don't even bother trying to kiss your $ goodbye - it's already gone. Poof! As if by magic!

If this is not throughly investigated and those responsible thrown in jail for a long time - then the country itself is not far behind the eight ball to go poof! As if by magic! Clean up this cesspool of coruption!

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 16:59 | 1867591 V4Vendeta
V4Vendeta's picture

Is plural for poof, poofters?

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