This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Dear Ben, Please Make Us Trillionaires
Dear Ben,
Please make us trillionaires. Just the sound of it! It's beautiful, Ben. But without your help, we'll never get there. So, at your meeting next week, think about us. Because the way you make trillionaires is by printing money.
Maybe not everybody can be a trillionaire. But that's OK. The rest of us will have the pleasure of walking around with millions in our pockets. Remember Turkey, late 1990s. It was awesome, Ben. You have no idea. Everybody was a millionaire. Even the poor. The entire middle class consisted of billionaires. And there were some trillionaires too. You could buy a döner sandwich and pay 10 million liras and get 8 million liras back. Awe-inspiring to watch a simple man casually counting out so much money. That's democracy, Ben. Just imagine what that would do in America.
It would solve a host of problems. Now, you probably don't look at the reports from the Census Bureau , and you're better off averting your eyes because the number is truly ugly: 46.2 million Americans in poverty. That's a scandal. But you can do something about it, Ben. You can turn them into millionaires. It worked in Turkey.
Actually, you and your predecessors have come a long way. For example, the San Francisco Bay Bridge was built in the 1930s for $77 million. Today, the price tag for just fixing its suspension section and replacing its cantilever section is $7.2 billion (for more detail, read my post on Our Chinese Bay Bridge). Of course, we never want to follow the price of a real thing over time. That would be apples to apples. Oh no! We want concoctions like your favorite "trimmed mean PCE" inflation index. This way, we don't see inflation, and wages seem to be going up.
Now, another ugly number came out, and you better avert your eyes again: Medium income adjusted for inflation dropped 7% over the last twelve years. That's actually a phenomenally good number. It means there's plenty of cheap labor. The problem is that this number is all over the front pages. Which destroys confidence in your work, Ben.
You see, over the same period, college tuition has more than doubled and health care costs have gone up over 50%. But students must not be allowed to know they're graduating with ever more debt while earning ever less to pay for it once they get a job. You need to cover this up with your rhetoric, Ben.
In your speech in Minneapolis the other day, for example, you said, "subdued unit labor costs should be an important restraining influence on inflation." That's too wishy-washy, Ben. You should have said clearly that repressing wages keeps costs down and profits up, and as long as real wages are declining, you're not worried about rising prices of goods and services. It would have given us the confidence that is now lacking.
Your predecessor, who gets partial credit for the current scenario (sorry Ben), never worried about rising prices. It's when wages started rising that he slammed on the brakes. Well, that was at the turn of the millennium, and real wages have gone down since. Good job, both of you. Well, we know that other people are involved in these policy decisions, but you're the main spokesperson, the one we look up to. So you need to be out there stating things more emphatically. Show a little pride in the achievement of your team at the Fed.
In your speech in Minneapolis, you indicated further that you were surprised by "the unusual weakness in household spending." I mean come on, Ben. So consumers are earning less and paying more, and their income from bonds, CDs, and bank accounts has disappeared, while banks, big corporations, and governments are borrowing money essentially for free—but you shouldn't have said that. You should have said, "Don't worry fellow Americans, I will turn all of you into millionaires and billionaires and even trillionaires." That's the American dream. That's what we want to hear. And in the background, we want to hear the squealing of the printing press running at full tilt.
Printing money works, Ben. History has proven that. So don't back off now just because some presidential candidates call you nasty things. Look at Turkey. It worked wonderfully. Over New Year's in 2005, the government even revaluated the lira. At 1,000,000 lira to 1 "new lira." And poof, all the millionaires were once again poor.... Oh wait, that's a bad example. But there must be a good example out there, somewhere. I'll get back to you on that. Meanwhile, keep at it, Ben.
To read my first letter to Ben: Dear Ben, Please Print Us More Money
Wolf Richter - http://www.testosteronepit.com where the truth comes home to roost.
»
- advertisements -
Janus is REALLY starting to like this guy, Testosteronepit!
Hey, TP, turn on yer TV tonight.
i suspect the miss. state/LSU game will be one to remember.
SEC Football, bitchez!
Trickle down ....
Don't piss on me from your gated walls and tell me its raining and I should go plant something to make me wealthy from the land you Fucking own and rent to me.
Some day I will Tear down your wall, You Bastard, I promise I will "Plant your ass Sunny side up"... you rent seeking Fucker.. Then when its raining I will thank your rotting fat carcass for the fertilizer you are.
(A Modern Prayer Chant of the disposessed thats about to become popular again)
I want to be a trillionaire, so frickin' bad!
According to scientists, there is enough gold near the core of the earth to cover the entire surface of the earth to a depth of 4 meters. Since trees can't grow in the ocean - paper is worth more because there's less of trees.
According to scientists,
There is enough oxygen to support another 144 billion people on the planet earth.
If they all stand should-to-shoulder and cover the all the landmass of the earth.
And all shit in their space.
Yup, that works for me.
.
I'm not as verbose, but I sent my own letter to Ben recently.
http://www.wcvarones.com/2011/08/benny-and-me.html
wcvarones .. your a sick bastard. That letter to Ben was a little over the top. But I so "Liked it"I would ask you to a B-B- Que on Sunday. You want me to send you a hacksaw in a Cake or something so you can come over from Gitmo
You look like you need a shower and a shave.
Didn't that take care of that for you at Guantanamo?
Do they have people there in orange jumpsuits ready and able to wipe your ass?
.
Buy Stocks. And blow me.
END the FED
I'm looking forward very much to owning a billion-dollar house.
But I fear that the property taxes will run $25 million a year
... an amount that would barely cover my bar tab.
Shit, I may have to become a gigolo!
Buy in California where Prop 13 limits tax increases to 2% a year nominal -- with no exception for Zimbabwe Ben hyperinflation.
ATTACK WWWWWWAAAAAAATCH.
I am still a Zimbabwe multi-trillionaire, bitchez!
Unfortunately B of A and Wells Fargo won't accept Zimbabwe dollars for mortgage payments, only FRNs. So I agree, Benron needs to start adding some zeros to the currency. Let's start by bringing back the thousand dollar bill, because a hundred doesn't even get you groceries and a tank of gas anymore. Soon there won't be anything but hundred dollar and up blackjack tables in Vegas, except for the way off the strip local joints. Go ahead and dump the penny (I mean really, WTF can you do with a penny?) and bring back the "K" note.
Hell no don't dump the penny, when a tank of gas is $1k+ paper, the zinc penny (1983 and later) will be the new dollar and the copper (1981 and earlier) will be the new $10 or $20 spot... 1982's are mixed, you have to sort them by weight so more likely than not people will cull those and/or count as all zinc.
Sheesh, when that day comes, I'll probably be as ecstatic dirt fishing (metal detecting) in a 20 year old park as a 100 year old one...
Save those nickels, too.
http://www.survivalblog.com/nickels.html
I've got HUNDREDS of trillions in Zimbabwe dollars - the whole issue from $1 to $100 Trillion nicely framed. Got a whole stack of $100 Trillion notes before they became hard to come by.
While not worth much in the way of actual purchasing power, they do make for a nice supplemental tip for a favorite bartender or waitress. Gives them 'bragging rights' for largest tip. Just make sure you leave 'real money' as well.
Sidebar - haviong worked for the Fed a while back I will say that they (the Fed and the Treasury have been trying to dump the penny and dollar bill for DECADES. The penny is a logisitcal nightmare - accounting for half the coins produced. They get pulled out of pockets and stuck in jars on dressers. The old all copper penny is worht 3 cents and even the new clad one is becoming break-even. The dollar bill lasts about 6 months in circulation before wearing out. A huge amount of the currency printed and handled by the Fed is dollar bills. Coins last far longer and can be stored in much less secure (and much less costly) vaults. You could reduce currency and coin production and handling costs by almost half - by dumping the penny and dollar bill. A thousand dolar bill also makes sense when you look at relative purchasing power - BUT your government doesn't LIKE cash transactions. They have delusions that all csh transactions are illegsl or tax avoiding (which begs the question about those pallets of $100 bills sent to Iraq - but that's another story. But the truth is that all those $US hundreds all over the world - in peoples mattresses and safes, held as a 'safe' store of value in places where local currency devsalues by the month and the millions in cash held by drug dealers andothers represent BILLIONS of DOLLARS in INTEREST FREE T-bills - defacto 'loans'. The US government ismaking a fortune off the float. The gov was actually worried about the 500 Euro note becoming the new note of prefernce for illegal transactions (more value per note).
But ultimately the US government won't let Treasury or the Fed get rid of the penny or dollar bill. To do so admits how bad inflation really is - a reminder to the public that the government does not want. They really do think that we're too stupid to notice otherwise. Yeah.... a car that cost $3500 when I got out of college costs $35,000 now. The house my parents paid $29,000 for sodl for over $500,000 when they died. And the package of hot dogs I used to pay 99 cents for now costs over $4.
By the way, you really don't want to know what the old 1964 and earlier 90% silver dimes, quarters, half dollars and dollars are worth now for their silver content. And LBJ said he wan't devaluing our coinage....bwahaaaa.. The Constuitution made debasing coinage a CAPITAL offense for a reason - but then they also forbid the printing of paper currency.
Like Ron Paul said the other night, "you can buy a gallon of gas for a dime, it just has to be a silver dime".
...I want to know what MillionDollarBoneus thinks of this piece...
C'mon "The Bernank" - I always wanted a Million Dollar Hooker. I'd finally reach my life-long goal.
By the time you can afford a Million Dollar Hooker,
She will be a common 2-bit Whore with STD that you will spend the rest of your lifetime regretting.
Capice?
Please stop asking Ben to print money for you. Ben only prints money for big banks (aka Ben's friends)
Yes his promise of dropping it on Main Street from helicopters was a little fanciful to be true... like Joe Public would be the beneficiary of a monopoly banking dynasty ...chuckle :)
No he has only 2 masters to serve, the bankrupts of international banking and the bankrupts of Washington ...all else is to sugar coat that turd of core systemic national corruption (a monopoly on money) in as much social and charity work as he (and his predecessors) possibly can
Let's hear it for systemic corruption... let's call it 'Quantative Easing' shall we? Nice coating of sugar Ben, nice glossy sugar coating
Dear Ben,
Please steal granny's purse for us again. We ran out of clients to scam.
thx,
Lloyd and Jamie
aka Beavis & Butthead
I'm afraid the predators have gone too far for this kind of article to be very funny any more.
Hookers and linen.
Let us pray, a reading from 1st Kenyesains:
We must borrow more money,
To pull forward demand,
So that jobs are created,
And prosperity ensues,
Inflating away our debts.
Aaaaa men.