A MERSy Christmas | Twas The Night Before Fraudclosure

4closureFraud's picture


Tis right before Christmas, but they’ll still take your house
Many creatures are lurking, like Baum - that louse.
The documents were strung together without care,
Have a missing assignment? LPS will be there!

The attorneys said “We’ve put our problems to bed”
As fraudclosure whistleblowers were turning up dead.
There’s Biden in Delaware, and Martha in Mass.,
Who finally said, “Let’s kick bankster ass!”

There’s Miller in Iowa who’s leading the chatter,
“Millions of foreclosures? Hey, what’s the matter?”
Amnesty for the banks who started this crash,
For a slap on the wrist and a wee bit of cash.

And soon we will see it was all just a show,
They’ll be working on tans with friend Angelo.
“Trash Out” companies break into homes without fear,
It’s a civil matter and the cops won’t appear.

They’ll doctor the proof to steal your home free and clear,
With forged notes backdated five years!
A VP with a short name will do the trick,
Boy! That Linda Green can sure sign ’em quick!

More rapid than a machine she signed her name,
And under deposition the rest of them came.
Sign Linda! Sign Crystal! Christine and Bryan!
Sign Stephan, , Sign Hoye, Thomas and Samons!

We’ll pay you more than you can make at the mall,
Now sign away, sign away, sign away all!
You can apply for a loan mod but it surely won’t fly,
You’ll be met with obstacles that reach to the sky!

So short sale your house, sign a deed in lieu,
Or we’ll do what is necessary to take it from you!
In rocket-docket court the homeowner bears the burden of proof,
Ninety seconds to save your home and then it’s gone - poof!

Henry Paulson stepped forward as the ship was going down,
And said “We need 700 billion to turn things around!”
All the money went to men in fine tailored suits,
While homeowners were tossed by thugs in jack boots.

There was HARP and HAMP to keep HOPE alive,
Where all of your documents went by the wayside.
Who are the folks who’ve swindled so many?
There’s David Stern, Fannie and Freddie.

Bank of America will put you out in the snow,
Along with Citi, GMAC and Wells Fargo.
Stumpf and Dimon have only their shareholders to please,
Profits go up with the more homes they seize.

They created swaps, CDO’s and MBS,
But in the end it was all just BS.
There’s Helicopter Ben and Geithner the elf,
From our pocket to theirs, - the only transfer of wealth.

They’d have us believe we got into this on our own,
Next time don’t fall for balloon, predatory or subprime loans!
Three ways to take down a once great nation,
Fraud, deceit and securitization.

While you were busy paying your note through a lifetime of work,
The banks created MERS to avoid paying court clerks.
In the end, it was the banksters they chose,
Thanks to your government you got hosed.

The notice said there would be no dismissal,
Delivered by men with badges and pistols.
And I heard them exclaim, as they backed down the drive,
Mersy Christmas to all, we’ve destroyed your lives!”


Happy Holidays Everyone!


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Lazane's picture

the MERS rubicon is beginning to wain,

through new legal minds setting to work that is not in vain,

in 12 we find the solicitors who will provide fresh letters of closure, 

telling us all that finding fraud in foreclosure

is long from over.

Xkwisetly Paneful's picture

I hope avalanches of robo siging pop up next year.

Let's see if they can't break the record for not allowing asset prices to settle.

In the meantime, thankfukkinggod they alllowed anyone to borrow as much as they wanted at lint like rates. All I kept hearing the previous 50yrs was how only the wealthy had access to capital. I am sure there was a verse in there abt wall papering one's house in plasmas and filling the driveway with escalades insted of furthering education or other useful things- I just must have missed it.


It is fairly amazing, until the generation entlited arrived, mostpaid at least twice as much principle as interest on at least one house, paid at least 10% for one car, probably paid north of 20% on plastic-paid at least a point a month and 1/3rd of the net for venture capital,

and that was all long before the evil banksters decided to hand out money like candy and charge air on it. 

Dr. Engali's picture

Very well done.


Merry Christmas.

Wakanda's picture

That was excellent and sad and true and tragic - pretty much sums up 2011.

I've saving horrific, deadly, and laugh until I cry for 12/2012 - if the internets are still working and I am still vertical.

Thanks 4closureFraud and Happy Holidaze!

calgal's picture

Thank you that was Amazing....

Mersy xmas everyone!!!

ebworthen's picture


Death to the malfeasant destroyers of the rule of law and liberty.

Oh, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

MrBinkeyWhat's picture

I guess here in the 21st century it must suck (not really) to not have any mortgages on your real property. Geese, that whole "underwater" thing does not mean very much...huh?

Real Estate investment...Not as flashy as derivitives trading. I am tired of taking it on the chin because some shiny suits were fukking people.

Rant over. ;-)

chunga's picture

The secret electronic mortgage society must DIE.

non_anon's picture

too bad Mers didn't get runover by a reindeer

Ray1968's picture

BOA, please stay solvent long enough for my transfer to clear and close my account. I don't want my money clawed back after you roll over like a pig.