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MF GLOBAL 4-1-9
Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III
Astronautics Project Manager
MF GLOBAL NIGERIA 4-1-9
Plot 555 Wall Street Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja,
FCT NIGERIA
Dear Mr. Sir,
URGENT ELECTRONIC EMAIL REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Barrister Jon Corzine. He was the first African commodities broker in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo destinated to the good offices of JP Morgan & Co. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time.
He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated and segregated customer accounts, flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 1.5 billion American Dollars. This is held in a Madoff trust at JP Morgan's Lagos Branch. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 30,000,000 American Dollars.
In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as licensed commodities brokers are prohibited by the Chicago Metal's Exchange Code of Conduct Bureau (and CFTC Laws) from opening and/ or operating customer accounts in our own names during normal CME trading hours.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental hedging expenses (internal and external) between the counter parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other commingled accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III
Astronautics Project Manager
MF GLOBAL
NIGERIA 4-1-9
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last i heard that ship was somewhere near the Straits of Hormuz.... sorry bout that
Love ya WB. Great minds think alike. I am turning Corzine in for tax evasion to the IRS. Reward money! Woohoo! My ship has come in! http://thecivillibertarian.blogspot.com/2012/01/frankenstein-government-...
You mean that check in the mail from my Nigerian partner/prince is no good? Damn. I was going to double it at the local Injun casino.
If you like to read these nigerian scam emails check out www.ebolamonkeyman.com. I used to get a kick out of those.
YouTube jerky boys and Nigerian scamMer...they use a soundboard and it hilarious how long the guy stays on the phone for lol
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=CA#/watch?v=5lAj-UUiANE
Un-fucking believable!
100% priceless!
Some needs to pretend to serve Jon Corzine...
then Lee Harvey his fucking ass.
Well, he is apparently being hounded by litigation now. That's why he needs an office on Wall Street and that's why he tried to move assets into French real estate.
Note for history: I went into business in 1969. Our company was receiving, even back then, various requests to bid on supplying cement to Nigeria. Unfortunately some of our dumber competitors took these seriously and I can recall a photo from Time Magazine showing many bulk cement ships anchored off Nigeria because the supposed letters of credit did not quite clear....
Their business model has a sound premise, there will always be an inner core of gullible fools.
Just hangin' with JC at the Reggae Lounge. Jon calls our waitress "handsome". She has a lot of junk in her trunk.
Now going to the patio. Girls on the patio. Fuck those Montana farmers, Jon buys us rum. Otay?
Dear Friend,
Your name was given to me by one of your close associates who has chosen to remain anonymous.
As you know my Church carries the message to sinners far and wide each year during our tent revival traveling summer road show. I was accompanied on these missions by the late Joe Dipsomaniac who I would seat on the stage with me. During my sermons Joe would serve as a somewhat living example to all what the vices of liquor and other debauchery can cause. Unfortunately, Joe succumbed to liver failure this past fall.
Which brings me to the reason I have written to you.....can you accompany me this coming summer?
Yours Truly,
Oral Roberts
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I love the J.P. Morgue/Chase umbrella in the first picture; providing "shade" for generations, eh?
And yet, and yet Corzine hasn't been arrested yet. The American/European economies and banking systems are totally corrupt.
Over $9 million to the Financial Services Congressional Committee from...the financial industry! (Surprise, /sarc).
http://www.opensecrets.org/cmteprofiles/overview.php?cmteid=H05&cmte=HFI...
Follow the links, our "Representative" government has been bought out from under us.
Is this for real?
Those sneaky bastards at MF even set up a fake website. It says they were just designated a primary dealer by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Pfffttt.
http://web.archive.org/web/20110222090811/http://www.mfglobal.com/
Nice webpage. It says MF Global has "...deep knowledge and focused perspective..."
Funny, my Proctologist said the same thing.
No shit!
William;
I know that others may consider me a heretic for saying this, but my considered opinion is that your text submissions are much funnier than are the PhotoShop art. I am good at both, also, so I feel like I have a basis for stating this opinion.
Beauty is in the eyes of the bondholders--Ben Bernanke
Hey William, the mind the bank picture could be a total riot in the UK ! Any thoughts to print it on a T-shirt to sell over there?
If any right proper English ZH maniac wants one we shall be sure to oblige ;-)
clawbacks on tractors and cattle next .request delivery moon base alfalpha
I'll be thinking of "Mind The Bank" when I go on the tube tomorrow. :)
I used to ride the Northern Line ;-)
Where is Jose Himenz when we need him?
Nice work up and overview. Thank you WB7.
Since we are talking space, when will the govt put out for bid to build the Deathstar?
Bechtel got the no-bid contract already. Thanks for playing.
I heard that the owner was boasting being member of the trilateral commission.
The world's shortest charter belongs to: The Federal Reserve: "Stealing and Dealing."
Dear Barrister Dr. Bakare Tunde Obama III,
It would be my absolute pleasure to asistt you in your inspiring endevour.
Please remit and forward the sum amount via cheque to the following post. I look forwurd to our mutually beneficial relationship.
In my abscence please direct all in quiries to my trusted assosiatte and confidant Dr.Fabrice Tourre.
kind regards,
Dr. Charles de l'Écluse
Director Leiden University
Office of Pleadean Bureau, Groom Lake Facility
White Sands Division, Dreamland section
PO BOX R-4808N
Paradise Ranch NV
2311 EZ Leiden
Acquisition Resource Center (ARC)
Direct Line: (443) 479-9572
Somewhat dated:
[quote]
My dearest Beloved frend,
I am writeing to You be cause a mutuel frend whose name I am not permited to disclose has essured me that you are a compassionate and mercifal Person and a trustworthy Person in whom I can confide in these terible times for me and my famly. Please do me the honer of listening to my situation and ofering a Hand in frendship. I wil be forever greatful and may God (the compasionate, the mercifal) forever bless You.
My name is Safia Farkash and my husband, Col Moammar Qaddafi, is the enlighten leader of the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahariya. Becaus of circimstances wich I can not bare to repeat I find miself now in Algiers with my children while my Husband remains in his capital of Tripoli to defend his country agenst the infidels and unbelievers. I am in Algiers and I am in good health, thanks be to God. But it sadens me to tell You my dere frend that because I am enable to travel beyond the borders of this country I am privented from gaining axces to my bank deposits at the Banco Liban at 35a Via Veneto in Roma, Italy. I have in deposit at the Banco the sum of no les than $27.5 milion in cash but as You can certinly understand it is necesary to employ a generos "Intermedeary" to asist me in transfaring that sum from Roma to Algiers that I may eat and feed and clothe my dear Children and pray to God.
If you would be so compassionate and mercifal as to inform me of the name of your bank and the number of your accont I wood be able, thanks be to God, to wire thes monies from the Banco Liban to a deposit here in Algiers, and for Your kindness and generosity I wil pay You a comission amounting to 15% or the sum of $4 milion cash to be deposited in Your bank as comission and as thanks for Your beneficence in helping a woman in distress who has no frends in this strange country.
Go with God,
Safia Farkash
[/quote]
I actually received similar letter and I replied:
"I am very interested in your proposal. However, I am not sure if you are serious about doing that. Therefore, I agree to start the process as soon as you send me a good faith sum for my expenses."
I can picture the guy laughing and showing my reply to his co-conspirator friends.
lol classic beneficence shuda used that
Thanks William! I spit out my coffee multiple times reading the MF Nigeran (e)mail-gram. lol
Pickpockets and prostitutes go together like carrots and peas.
Fricking awesome, William
That 'security notice' would look great posted in TBTF ATM lobbies.
ah, another glorius day in Amerika!
Jan 12 (Reuters) - Former customers of MF Global Holdings Ltd's collapsed brokerage were disappointed to hear on Thursday that the trustee hunting for funds missing from their accounts has no immediate plans to transfer more money to them.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/45973377
"We are 1/8the UK subsidiary's 3/8 largest creditor," Giddens said. "Their legal position is that certain property and collateral transferred to the UK ... under UK law, those positions become unsecured. We disagree."
"My word is my Bond."
Corzine, 2010
Firmly bonded with years-old Elmer's paste
"...and my Bond is shaken, not stirred."
And they just continue like that's fucking normal. Nary a peep from the financial media about this theft. The unfortunate part of the story is that many of the accounts that were robbed belonged to farmers who actually produce things people need.