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Nuclear Contamination As Seen By Japanese Humor

Submitted by testosteronepit on 02/26/2012 17:40 -0400

After an endless stream of horrid reports on the tragedy of the March 11 earthquake and tsunami, and the subsequent nuclear catastrophe in Fukushima, and the hotspots that are cropping up in odd places, and food scares, and even contaminated grasshoppers, we’re ready for something ... lighter. And very cynical. This has been circulating in the Japanese internet community for months, has garnered countless comments, and a lot of nodding, agreement, and knowing smiles. Though it’s not based on science or statistics, and certainly not on any polls, it represents, in the eyes of many Japanese, a larger tongue-in-cheek truth.

Note: the areas seen as contaminated are marked in red.

But there other dangers in Japan as well. A couple in Nagasaki made sashimi out of a fugu he'd caught in a nearby bay. An hour after eating it, her lips and limbs got numb. He also developed symptoms. Ah yes, the neurotoxin in the otherwise comical fish. Read.... Don't Try This At Home.

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Mon, 02/27/2012 - 06:38 | 2199973 The Navigator

I pray for my friends and all in Japan.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 03:35 | 2199884 ReligiousAtheist1

I think my ribs are broken this isht is hilarious.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 03:29 | 2199879 BiggerInJapan

I await anxiously for you master piece banzai7 but until then here is one of the best pics of the circus that can be found 240km from my current position!

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/6552/fukyoutent.jpg

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 01:39 | 2199797 steelrules

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eO3urOnNAE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPqBOs-0QZ4&feature=plcp&context=C3506178UDOEgsToPDskJURdIu8DI0SvsWFGOADhpG

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 00:11 | 2199615 CrimsonAvenger

relax, everybody - AstroBoy is on it.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 08:02 | 2200029 Element

Nope, we're gonna need Johny Sokko's Flying Robot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PRzP2whIu_8

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 22:38 | 2199343 lolmao500

I say arrest the Japanese government, the Japanese nuclear commission board and TEPCO board and hang them all.

Evacuate Tokyo and everyone within 300 km of Fukushima.

Shut down all Japanese nuclear power plants. Go Thorium.

This should be the Keynesian wet dream... all that government money that will need to be spent for all that...

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:56 | 2199125 SILVERGEDDON

Save gas, fart in a jar, whole room is lit up for 6 months ! Thank God for soybeans and Sapporo beer - that, and a cesium enema, and whole cities can be lit by people methane ! Bullish on Japanese people as the new power utility.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:29 | 2199070 Chimerican

I just got back fron Tokyo. I found the Japanese to be radiating with joy.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 21:53 | 2199054 max2205

Thoughts wander back to photos in Life years ago that 'COVERED' Japan's Mercury problem.

Japan is pervertidly good at pretending bad things didn't happen and that their people aren't suffering

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:02 | 2199007 toadold

The Japanese Times Online was doing their man on the street interviews asking the usual inonocuous questions when a Japanese lady slipped one in on them. The question was what animal do you associate with Japan IIRC.

'Chihuahua. Sometimes smart but sometimes stupid. If people call they come along right away. They usually say "yes."'

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:46 | 2198968 Normalcy Bias

"...made sashimi out of a fugu he'd caught in a nearby bay. An hour after eating it, her lips and limbs got numb."

Alas, a fellow traveller. I too, prefer my neurotoxins radioactive!

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:06 | 2199014 knukles

Wait a minute...
How would she know?
She couldn't feel her lips with her hands if they where both numb.
Nuts.

You can tell I'm digging way deep in the serious shit tonight.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:40 | 2199093 Normalcy Bias

Perhaps she was one of those that had some radioactive neurotoxins coming, and he just couldn't stand the yammering any longer...

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 04:31 | 2199917 knukles

Now it all makes sense...

I could just hear her; "Sumpfihigs wongk eyee kant fewwwewl my mouf han finkers... phhhhhhhtt..."

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:37 | 2198955 Dead Canary

I love those famous 40 pound, self cooking fukushima lobsters. Yum.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:06 | 2198899 bankruptcylawyer

thorium molten flouride salt reactors are one solution to nuclear safety problems.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 00:31 | 2199665 HedgeCock

Thorium? Trade nuke for more nuke? How about solar, wind, tidal or geothermal.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 10:30 | 2200311 gina distrusts gov

Thorium salt reactors can not make bomb fuel so why don't we use them and they are inherently safer /sarc off not as profitable to the mil ind complex

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 20:55 | 2199117 FeralSerf

LENR

Just don't let the oil companies know. They kill.

www.amazon.com/Nuclear-Transmutation-Reality-Cold-Fusion/dp/1892925001/r...

http://www.amazon.com/Low-Energy-Nuclear-Reactions-Sourcebook-Symposium/...

http://www.amazon.com/Science-Energy-Nuclear-Reaction-Comprehensive/dp/9...

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:56 | 2198991 Nobody For President

Solar power is another. (I'm off the grid on solar, btw, walking the walk.)

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:14 | 2198923 A Lunatic

Hopuim works in a pinch.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:32 | 2198946 The Alarmist

Hopium 235 or Hopium 238?

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 23:14 | 2199461 jeff montanye

hopium 2012. going for fooling most of the same people all the time.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 09:27 | 2200153 johnQpublic

AND...thankfully Hopium has a very short half life

arguable duration of six days to four years

nobel piece prize and all...

grab a piece of libya,afghanistan,iraq,iran,etc,etc,etc

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:07 | 2198898 sangell

On a less humerous note, they are talking about a 40 year process to clean up and decommission Fukushima Daichi and they haven't even located the melted fuel yet. Reporters were only allowed in for the second time this week for a one hour tour and the NHK reporter was shocked at the jerry rigged nature of the containment. Sand bags piled up against the perimeter of the building to contain radioactive leakage into the sea, rubble still strewn everywhere as if the tsunami happened just yesterday. But that's not the problem.

Its this. Japan has a limited number of nuclear qualified workers. They will have none long before they get they to empty the spent fuel pools, find the melted fuel and contain it etc because cumulative dosages will be reached and exceeded by the existing labor force. Now who is going to train to qualify for nuclear power plant operation when you know your career is going to be spent in a highly radioactive environment?

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 22:36 | 2199336 lolmao500

On a less humerous note, they are talking about a 40 year process to clean up and decommission Fukushima Daichi and they haven't even located the melted fuel yet.

Yeah this will as much happen as Krugman ever admitting he's a hack. Not gonna fucking happen. Fukushima is done for the next few hundreds million years.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 23:13 | 2199455 jeff montanye

my thoughts exactly, except i am slightly less sure krugman is a hack. forty years won't come close; much of it is in the pacific and the air already.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2200161 johnQpublic

less sure krugman is a hack?

less than what?

less than you are sure of the higgs-boson particle?

less sure there are aliens?

less sure the amero is our next currency?

i personally am plenty sure krugman is a hack

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 12:06 | 2200581 el Gallinazo

Hack? Well......duh!

hack²

noun

1 a writer or journalist producing dull, unoriginal work : [as adj. ] a hack scriptwriter.

• a person who does dull routine work.

How about flack?

verb [ trans. ]

publicize or promote (something or someone) : a crass ambulance-chaser who flacks himself in TV ads | [ intrans. ] the local news media shamelessly flack for the organizing committee.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 22:07 | 2199261 Tompooz

Now who is going to train to qualify for nuclear power plant operation when you know your career is going to be spent in a highly radioactive environment?

Foreign workers and robots

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:01 | 2198888 engineertheeconomy

Pointing out that radiation is harmful, unhealthy and cause's birth defects is considered to be an extremist point of view, is an act of terrorism and will be dealt with as such by the Japanese Government

They have more economical, reliable but smaller black helicopters

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:32 | 2198948 The Alarmist

But to where do they rendition you ... Okinawa?

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:48 | 2198973 Normalcy Bias

...much, much worse...Detroit.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:50 | 2198859 A Lunatic

Thank God they weren't drinking unpasteurized milk. This could have been a lot worse.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:49 | 2198858 non_anon

only time will tell

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:10 | 2198761 eddiebe

I fail to see the humor. ( Person in the USA.)

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 21:45 | 2199211 duo

poison, poison, poison...tasty fish!

http://youtu.be/GVrTepl2hvs

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 19:10 | 2198911 DavosSherman

Just take that halipono and shove it up your ass.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:43 | 2198833 The Alarmist

Think of the old New Yorker cartoon.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 23:10 | 2199450 jeff montanye

which one? link or at least allude.

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:49 | 2198853 knukles

The one I really liked best was when the whole of NYC was beamed up into the void of space, destroyed in the vacuum by the alien invaders moments before Paul Krugman could write his famous "I fucking told you so." column.
Over the radio, in the last fleeting moments when all the Cadillac Communists were heard screaming "But really, I'm a registered Republican." in an attempt to save their souls they claim don't exist.
Those were the days.....

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:42 | 2198828 knukles

Lighten the fuck up.
(Get it, light....)
Fucking brilliant if I do say so myself.
I used to get glowing reports in environmental humor.

hahh ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha

Sun, 02/26/2012 - 18:08 | 2198753 williambanzai7