williambanzai7's picture





(Sympathy For the Devil, Rolling Stones)



Please allow me to introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste

I've been around for a long, long year

Stole many a trading man's NAV...sealed his fate

And I was round when Papandreou

Had his moment of doubt and pain

Made damn sure that Geithner

Burned his ass and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game

I stuck around AIG

When I saw it was a time for a change

Fired the CEO and his SVPs

While Sullivan and Greenberg screamed in vain

I killed the European Bank

Was best friends with Bernank

When the markets raged

And the Euro sank

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my name, oh yeah

Ah, whats puzzling you

Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watch with glee

While your bankers bleed

Fought for ten decades

To kill the paper they made

I shouted out,

Who killed Lehman, Bear and the GSEs?

When after all

It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste

And I laid traps for quants and two bit trading whores

Who get fired before they reach Mumbai

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah

But whats puzzling you

Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah

But whats confusing you

Is just the nature of my game

Just as every banker is a criminal

And all the investors saints

As heads is tails

Just call me hedge fund Lucifer

Cause Im in need of some restraint

So if you meet me

Have some courtesy

Have some sympathy, and some taste

Use all your well-learned risk controls

Or I'll lay your trading book to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guessed my name, um yeah

But whats puzzling you

Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down

Woo, who

Oh yeah, get on down

Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, whats my name



Devil Woman by Nikoletalo (








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Uncle Remus's picture

Debt Brother from Planet O is iconic WB7.

williambanzai7's picture

Yes, he is permanently ensconced in my buffoonery lexicon ;-)

RocketmanBob's picture

Awesome Banzai7, as usual...

Have you given any thought to making video parodies usuing your stylings? Viral material, to be sure.


My Regards

williambanzai7's picture

If I had a production crew I could generate material. I think about it all the time.

I wish someone would hire me to do the real Wall Street script.

the grateful unemployed's picture

the market is designed to go up, which is why the rules are written against the short seller. i think i understand short selling better than the next 100 guys, not because i am a wall street trader, but because i have studied it from all sides.

a short is essentially a side bet between third parties, this is why the rule on borrowing shares deserves to be shelved, along with the paper stock certificate. those rules were done away with in the 90's and it opened the door to pooled assets, and all sorts of problems. they kept the rule on borrowed shares for some reason.

basically any company or fund that controls the float controls the share price. again the market is made to go higher, its the essence of ponzi dynamics.

the beauty of short selling, like any true commodity market, is that nothing is ever truly lost. the money just changes hands. in a stock market crash, (where the short sellers have no access to the market) the false or ponzi share value, vanishes. money disappears, and we enter deflation. by outlawing short selling the final catalyst is put in place to allow deflation, or mark to market valuations.

shorting is currently a hedge strategy. for those who think we don't need short because we still have options, guess again. without the options writers ability to hedge new positions, options premium goes up. if you think they are going to outlaw short selling you should buy put options for a spike in premium as these options get more dear, that is the writer demands more for the risk he is taking because he can't hedge. an options writer is like a bookie, someone drops a big bet on a longshot, he is going out to the track and lay that money off to protect himself. (the bookie gets nailed when he gives the client 20-1, and the horse is 5-1 at race time and wins like a good thing)

finally there is the myth that short sellers are traders, speculators, some are but most take the same market strategy as buy and hold, they go short and hold.

most of the companies on Wall street will eventually disappear. some sooner rather than later. the old adage against short selling is that a short can only go to zero but a long has infinite potential. in a deflationary market, to profit while everyone else is losing net worth provides the short seller with a great deal of relative wealth, the short seller is making money while everyone else is going broke. welcome sir, would you like a table by the window, a complimentary bottle of wine?

the bulls love an ostentatious show of wealth, and bragging about the money they made (following a bull market with everyone else) and while being a sore loser is okay, a high fiving winner is worse. the gods hate that kind of (CNBC) hubris. i think that's why short selling is the only way to play the game. it preserves capital in a downturn, and it demands respect for the losers, because when you win the world is falling down around everyone elses ears.


williambanzai7's picture

The idea that the market is designed to only go up is proof of the Ponzi pudding.

When I looked at short strategies in 2009, I looked at short sales, puts and inverse ETFs. After studying it I surmised that it is impossible for an average Joe to get anywhere on a negative bet.

You will be pleased to hear that I then concluded, and this was August 2009, that silver was the poor mans short against the market. My solid long idea at that time was AAPLS with NETFLIX as a runner up.

the grateful unemployed's picture

forget the images, you have trader potential. 

i read somewhere that the bond vigilantes were tired of fighting the fed and bought gold.

i consider the inevitability that a trade war, (or even a real war) with China would cut off Americas source of cheap labor and resources, and that would be the end of everything from the dollar stores to the Ipad.

been short a handful of consumer discretionary stocks, as the consumer is a last century concept, despite the economics of the thing, mass produced anything has little or no appeal

williambanzai7's picture

On the masses produced subject, I am amazed at H&M. The stores are packed in HK, the merchandise is priced very reasonably (cheap actually) and the style quotient is very high. The bottom line is the stuff is not made to last 10 years, but why should it if it is for young fashion conscious consumers. 

I know what they are going to do. They are going to roll it out through China. Win win.

I really wish I spent time focusing on trading early in my career. I learned in the last five years that the term investor is a euphemism for sucker. Either your a trader or an operator, but you are not an investor if you want to get anywhere.

janus's picture

if memory serves, that's walt witman lending his frame to that hideous face.  leaves of grass, my ass!

i think that satiny sexpot has it bad for janus...did you see her givin me that come-hither and let me ask you something look?  she was all like, 'janus, an hour with me and you'll forget all about ms. janus.'  and then janus is all like, 'who?'

i had a horrible one last night:

so i'm tippin back a few, doin the things that janus is wont to do -- as is apropos the season.  i was really gettin worked up for a little of the ole clockwork orange malchicin' it were.  and so i duly dug up the VCR and the ole tape with that eerie eye tracin my in/out -- check, check.  alright, steady as she goes...and, of course, it's all snow and crackle, should have known...well, janus is handy with some stuff.  so out comes the ole phillips head and away we go.  alcohol pads, check...swab down the reader, check some connections -- everything jim dandy -- job well done, janus.  again with the infernal blizzard.  to make a long story short, i did bring hell and havoc down on the head of that pathetic VCR; and that tape, that spool of magnetic thread with so much university-laced nostalgia encoded into it, i tell you it will never again have an the landfill with both of the damned things.  a pox on them all!

so there will be no commentary on a clockwork orange until i secure a new DVD.


but heart, heart, heart/

oh the bleeding drops of red/

where on the deck my captain lies/

fallen cold and dead,


Mr Kurtz's picture

No janus, "mistah" Kurtz has first dibs on that heartbreaker.

williambanzai7's picture

Don't forget to take the tape and string it out alng the highway ;-)

janus's picture

too late, i've already unwound it, tied it to the head of a he-man action figure (a la napoleon dynamite)...uncle rico's pickin me up in a quick minute and we're gonna go spray all those sour-puss bass fishers with 20 foot rooster tails (right outta their lil john boats, bitchez!)  but on the way, we're gonna see how much he-man can really take.

then it's off to karate class; and then on to try and sell some tupperware...maybe afterward, i'll try and draw a picture of my girlfriend...i'll probably spend two hours shading the lips.

back in 83', i could throw a football a quarter mile,


williambanzai7's picture

There was a time when the measure of a young man was how far he could throw a ball. I believe those days are long gone. Unless you include the Android Facebook Action Football Widget App.

rosiescenario's picture

"... leaves of grass..."


....them be called 'green shoots' in today's parlance.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Are you allergic to capital letters to begin sentences or is the shift function semi-permanently disabled on all your keyboards? You seem to have punctuation down pat, maybe a little too much, and you make my long sentences look like amateur hour. And I see you do know what capital letters are since you used then when spelling our VCR or DVD.

So I can only assume that this is a style choice. As a child I always told my mother not cleaning my room for years on end was a matter of style. She called that explanation bullshit. :)

janus's picture

your mother was wise.

guilty as charged...on every single count (including the punctuation overdoing-it-charge; i try to keep a firm handle on cadence and rythym...i'm in charge here, not the reader!), but you know how we saxons are with our pinkies...too finiky to use em unless it's absolutely necessary...and the distinction between a DVD and a VCR is necessary to amplify.

we want more from you; your readers did NOT give you august off...what are you, french?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'll let mom know you approve. :)

I only posted two article in August so far. Better get cracking.

janus's picture

one of my favorite simpsons scenes:

Homer: mr. burns, you're the richest guy i know; way richer than lenny.

Mr. Burns: yes, well, i'd trade it all for a little more.

So, CD, it is in that spirit that i acknowledge and appreciate your efforts heretofore; and to that i will only add a humble demand for more.

janus never ceases crackin...janus was crackin before crackin was cool.  when you're stupid you must outwork the competition -- my mother's warning from the age of two to the present day.

the grateful unemployed's picture

cd you  must know that the modern keyboard was designed for typewriters, and hasn't changed (although and i know you understand this, if you were to rearrange the keys the user adapts readily) but the reason the keys are where they are, is that the early machines were no match for the human typists, the typists were jamming the keys, so the inventor thought, i better put the important keys where they are hard to reach. talk about ergonomics. thats like putting a governor on a car because it goes too fast to control. but safety and (corporate) efficiency are too different things altogether. incidentally i dont' care for caps either, they are pretentious especially the i. i prefer the ee cummings approach to end this on a poetic note.

williambanzai7's picture

I believe my view on the subject of caps can be seen and not heard ;-)

janus's picture

you just got cooler than you were before

Trifecta Man's picture

I don't mind the concept of shorting, provided the shares (or whatever) is legitimately borrowed first.  But naked short selling should be punished.  Your Devil with a Red Dress on isn't naked.  And the BrO don't show either.

Whalley World's picture

Withought naked shorting, how was I to make a killing on Citi, AIG, Bank of America and others back in 2008? 

Trifecta Man's picture

Did you make a killing with your 9/10/2001 puts on airlines?

nah's picture

a post office says what

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Stop Dave, I'm afraid.

Regardless of what you say this is really gonna hurt, isn't it?

janus's picture

hey, caerus, i couldn't find that note where i asked you if you were an aggie or a longhorn...anyway, it's important again (it's gonna be important till at least new years; so get ready), as i heard some wild rumor on feinbaum that a&m may be headed to the SEC.  heard anything on that score?

slackrabbit's picture

Capn' Bonzaii does it agin

old naughty's picture


I am shaving my beard off, b4 2015 !!!

Thanks for sharing, awesome, as usual.

ImNotARobot's picture

I may not be invincible.  But I can borrow your ass off!

That made me spit out my coffee all over my laptop from laughing when I read that.  

I've learned not to drink coffee and look at WB's blog at the same time, a valuable lesson from Master Hu Flung Dung.  Thank you bye.   

williambanzai7's picture

The funny or not so funny thing is I can hear him saying it.

disabledvet's picture

you forgot the ripping guitar solo after "oh, yeah!" anywho i'm thinking of selling a hundred shares in....

doggings's picture

that devil woman is one sexy gal, i'd sell my soul to her in an instant. 

and someone should re-record the song with those lyrics. the Stones Mr Banzai, they might even scrape another tour out if it. 

iNull's picture

"just a whore...until I'm turned into manure."
--Tiger Lillies

machineh's picture

I shouted out,

Who killed Lehman, Bear and the GSEs?

When after all

It was you and me


So true, brothuh.

Next time let's finish the job with the TBTFs.


TaxSlave's picture

Somebody should have sympathy for my shorts -- totally demolished this morning.  I gotta go scrape my leg now.

As always, thank you, WB.

Gold Dog's picture

I am with ya Tax,

I fought the tape all day yesterday, Sell the Rallys Bitches!

Still short equities and long the barbaric relic......c'mon you Eurotrash, crash a bank or two!!!!!


fiddler_on_the_roof's picture

I have some play money. I sold my naked Gold calls right  at around $1775(600% profit), now waiting for a mini drop to say sub 1700.

I am also still long equities in retirement.


So we are betting against each other.

bIlluminati's picture

I fought the tape, and the tape won

I fought the tape, and the tape won

BlackholeDivestment's picture

If you put cat eyes on Rosemary's Baby (AKA Hussein of Babylon) and have him dressed in drag embracing the market whore (AKA Devil Woman with Chairsatan's Cup of Fornication) it will flow with the the song after SFTD. ROTF the Cliff.

...ouch, Banzi Banzi Banzi, pulled a rib. lol

cartonero's picture

ooh ooh

ooh ooh

One of my all time favorite Stones songs.  Funny how their song titles are so applicable to these times. Examples:

Out of Time

You Can't Always Get What You Want

and, of course


rosiescenario's picture

...& Paint It Black.......Ruby Tuesday even describes our decay and drop in standard of living...not to mention You Get What You Need...

Gringo Viejo's picture

Ben's got that "working man's" Walt Whitman thing goin' there.

Or Jerry Garcia's mildy retarded brother anyway......